All mechanics break your car when you go to them, or set the car up to break later, unless you are a woman, and act sexually intrested in them, or talk about mechanical things that show you know about cars. How the fuck can you bypass this, if you were born without your father in the home, and never learned anything ore then changing oil, or a tire, or charging a battery?

Learn more..

That's weird. You see, when I worked for abnout a year as a mechanic, we didn't rip people off. We still made money. Crazy huh?

You see, WE DON'T MAKE THE FUCKNIG PARTS. If a part warehouse wants $500 for a 2cmx2cm piece of lexan, thats what we charge you. We don't take a cup holder from eBay and giggle while we triple the price, you dumb motherfucker. Also, if customers would stop insisting they fucking know everything about thier cars and what's broken and what's not, perhaps you might get some better customer service. But no, you have to fucking tell us what's wrong.

We had a lady ask for a new battery because her car died WHILE IT WAS RUNNING. And would insist on it.

Ask to see what they did or get the parts back.

rofl i think it's just your mechanic that doesnt like you.

Learn how to do your own work.

This.

Changed pads on a guys old Rover. Told him his calipers were seized up, I told him I could free them up but that they might do it again because they were old and knackered; I recommended rebuilding them or replacing them. Went ahead with it. Car worked fine for three months, then he comes back in with a squealing noise - seized caliper. He insists that we replace both calipers for free seeing as 'we had already fixed that problem'.

Man comes in with a bike which 'is only six months old'. The whole bike is rusty. Turns out he lived by the sea and left it in the garden so I refuse to replace any parts on his bike under warranty. He goes mental.

Still, seeing as I've lost my job I guess I'm out of that bullshit now.

Also, to the OP, buy a Haynes/Chilton manual for your car and read it cover to cover, start doing little bits and pieces and you'll pick it up.

why did you get fired frink.

lol i havent managed to enter into a conversation about bikes with you yet, im a fair keen rider.

Just got laid off, the whole company is going down the pan, plus I really hated it (regularly went two weeks without a day off, had days off and holidays cancelled with no warning, wasn't allowed any time off for christmas (except christmas day and boxing day, even though everyone else got at least a few days).

As for bikes, I presume you mean motorbikes, but anyway...

I've got a Barracuda tourer, alloy frame with steel forks, no suspension, flat bars and riser so it's fairly sporty to handle. This was my old everyday bike, now I've painted it up metallic purple with gold wheels, looks proper pimping.

I got my girlfriend an alloy drop frame Barracuda tourer with front suspension and full length mudguards, old school riser and cow horns so it's a bit 'sit up and beg' and a big fat brown leather saddle. I painted it light mint green with white wheels, it looks really cute, her name is Holly so I painted on a couple of holly leaf graphics.

My main bike is a Cross Crossbow trainer, full alloy with a drop riser and flat bars, alloy aero rims and bladed spokes with skinny Kenda tyres, Shimano gearset and freehub which is smooth as silk. I painted this one Triumph Roulette Green (pearlescent lime green), already had black wheels, with a black and white checkered saddle. Looks good and it's incredibly fast.

Goddamnit frink, you've been fraternising with the enemy.

I can't drive when drunk. I can't legally ride a bike while drunk either, but nobody cares if you do.

Plus if I drive everywhere, that's less money for drink. Plus I'd get fat, which means no sex.

Yeah, I should probably ride a bike around more.

Frink should actually be driving a mini to fuck with people that notice him. A yellow mini. With a black hood.

Also, bitches don't know about my scraper bike (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQGLNPJ9VCE)

I can't drive when drunk. I can't legally ride a bike while drunk either, but nobody cares if you do.
My last drunken cycle journey ended up with me in a lake.

Never again. :(

I thought you were homeless or did you move up and now live in a car??

well i ride moto's but i actually meant pushies.

I ride a specialized allez on road and a bombproof dragonfly/odyssey/s&m bmx for trails

not familiar with the crossbow but it sounds like a commuter? sounds pretty alrite to me.

Nah it more of a fitness trainer bike, it's probably too uncomfortable for most people to consider it a commuter. I bought the gearset separately cos the one on the bike was a bit naff compared to the decent frame and wheels. I've got some drop handlebars for it but I prefer the flat ones for everyday use, combined with the drop riser it puts you pretty low. Not a bad bike for what I got it for (with the stuff I've put on it would have cost about £500, but cos I got it from work it was about £300)

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41a91SIbhHL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

Major envy over the Allez, I haven't ridden one but I can imagine it's pretty bloody quick.

Fucking A, dude, I hated dealing with people like that. For some reason people resort to paranoid beliefs like that because they don't know shit about their vehicles.

Hell...

My Mother asked me why her car queeks loudly from under the bonnet sometimes.
I asked her if it "was it when she put the foot down?"
She said "sometimes"

I asked "If it happened more at night or in the rain?"
"Yeah, more at night, but it happened the other night in the rain"

I said "The fan belts slipping, as the lights are turned on theres more power drain on the belt & it slips, when its wet the belt slips untill it warms up & drys out & then it grabs".

"What should I do?" she asked.

"Drive it, if it sqeals, momentary turn off the headlights, It'll grab & stop.
But go to a garage & they will fix it for cheap"

(I was waiting for this) "Could YOU fix it?"

"Yes I could, I also could have to take 3 trips to the garage to get the right belt, when all it needs is tightening.
I could get the right belt & the other belt could start slipping in a week, which would put you back where you started.
If the belt needs replacing, the other belt probably does too, but it'll be cheaper to replace both at the same time so that they both wear the same & both will then need tightening/replacing at the same time anyway.
At the same time as they replace the belt, they may also notice that you need some other maintenance thing done & do it at the same visit & it will be cheaper & you will know when it needs to be done again.
The guy at the garage will remember you & give you a good deal.
And you KNOW that your car is OK & not gonna 'drop a belt' & cook itself to death.
And you will also not get stuck on the side of a road with a dead car in the rain"

She looked at me & said "Thanks, I'll book it in next week"