I keep getting mad at my girlfriend and accusing her of lying to me.

Few examples:

I was having a falling out with some guy that we both know, and then she tells me she hates him too and that he's a dickhead. Then as soon as me and him are okay again, she acts like they're best friends the very next day.

Another time, she tells me to go to the mall with her and her friends (who I only really pretend to like, anyway) and then I say I don't want to go, and she tells me I don't have to if I don't want...But I say I do want to go to be with her. Then the next day she tells me that the plans are cancelled, and that we're not going out anymore. So I say okay, we won't go then. Then she fucking goes without me.

The next night, we have made plans (her friend group and mine) to go out drinking. As soon as she gets home from the mall, she tells me over msn that's she's "sick" and that she might not be able to make it, so of course she doesn't show up.

Now, I usually ask her about all these things and how it doesn't make sense, but I think I'm kind of being a dick about it. Basically, am I wrong for being mad about this shit? What should I do?

Fuck no man you're not the one being the dick. I hate when girls pull shit like that. Believe me it's really easy to be a dick when girls start doing shit like that but from my experience, I can tell you, don't. Just let her see that you don't care whether she's there or not and eventually she'll feel unimportant and will stop pulling shit like that.

Yeah, you gotta put your foot down! http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii4/IceCAPPED/0-2.png

Wouldn't that make it worse?

Tell her to get back in the kitchen and make a "sammich" http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii4/IceCAPPED/0-2.png

Yeah don't put your foot down. Make her think you don't care.

gtfo mah thread ice. I'm talking to you on msn but this is my place of BUSINESS.

NOOOO CHICHI NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii4/IceCAPPED/0-2.png

Tell her what you said in the original post?

If she's a decent person she will click on and make it all better.. and possibly a sammich for you ;)

But how can I talk to her about it without making her sad/angry or something like that? I hate it when I say something wrong and she just withdraws from me.

you gotta learn how to control your hos

NOOOO CHICHI NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii4/IceCAPPED/0-2.png

stop trying to make a meme please.

Alright come on. I'm getting pissed now, if you have nothing to contribute to my thread, don't just fucking derail it.

I seriously need help with this. It's the biggest/only problem I have in my life now.

But how can I talk to her about it without making her sad/angry or something like that? I hate it when I say something wrong and she just withdraws from me.

I know what you mean, she will feel guilty.

I duno, I got nothing.. sorry bud :(

I did! This was before you said on msn!!!!!!!!

Wait, so you're mad at her for pretending to not like/like this guy friend of yours, and yet you only pretend to like her friends?

Huh?

As for the cancelling thing, well that's bullshit. Just tell her that you would've liked to come. If she knows that you don't like her friends, but they don't bother you enough that you wouldn't want to hang out with her just don't mention that you don't want to go. If you want to go, go! You need to make up your mind as much as she does.

I can see where she's coming from. If someone was like, "Ohh, I don't really want to go, but I'll go since you'll be there." I'd be like, "Don't worry, I'll have more fun without you." It might make it awkward for the rest of them if you were there, not really wanting to be there and only really being there for your girlfriend. Can you see my point?

I don't know what to think about the "sick" thing. Was she "sick?" Did she write sick in inverted commas when she notified you?

Chichi, don't be a cockbitch. You're lying.

How the fuck is your girlfriend?

Update: I just showed up to school in the middle of lunchtime, drunk as fuck and had a makeout session.

lol i r happy :)

but when the alcohol wears off, i need more advice.

She is lying to you. She is probably seeing another guy. I would straight up tell her that she needs to come clean right now or else end it.

lol :)

as much as i'd like to say anal and leave.
no.


you're an idiot.
Stop trying to be some macho woman controller. She's a different person and obviously a bit of an idiot too.
But i mean, come on, who the fuck would want to hang out with you?


stop being a retard!

stfu new arrival.

You don't even have a girlfriend.

look chichi, you spastic, obviously im a more mature person than you.
And that means when you ask for advice on a public forum and its a little too harsh for you, go have a cry and think about the fact that you're being a baby.


point is,
yes, you are wrong for getting angry at your girlfriend about this shit. And if you keep whingeing about it you're going to be a single spastic instead.

I've read a few of your posts and you seem to have a real grudge against women.

Dude listen, yes you are an asshole. This is not to sound rude but..
Look, so your gf wants to go to the mall without you. Ever considered that this isn't an insult but that for her going shopping with female friends is just a lot more intresting cause they can all scream at clothes and spend hours run in and out of dressingrooms. Maybe they don't do this, but my point is, things are very different with different people. You have to accept that you can't be her whole world. This is ok. No one can.

And she can be sick can't she

Plus, i'd have second thoughts if i was a girl bout someone as clingy as you seem to be too

But don't worry, you'll grow up

That or become a dumb asshole who doesn't realise it and always complains bout his misfortune with females and how they're all evil bitches wich should die (example : voodoonirvana)


ps. she should have told you she'd rather go without you to the mall. I think you 2 should work on your communication if you want it to last.

You sound like a clingy hypocritical asshole. Give the bitch a break. Nothing she's done is even remotely as shady as you're making it out to be. Paranoia's a bitch.

ps. she should have told you she'd rather go without you to the mall. I think you 2 should work on your communication if you want it to last.

This is the only part of your post that was actually accurate and didn't make me think you were a complete fuckwit.

The problem is not that I'm clingy. I never gave a shit that she didn't want me to go to the mall with her. That was never my problem. I get the shits at her because she doesn't COMMUNICATE with me. So you're right. I have a problem with her being dishonest. I just wish she'd be straight up with me. SO, am I still a dickhead for getting mad when she won't just be honest about it?

Just hit her, prove your male dominance! Let her cry for a bit then go for a few more backhands, she will understand that your in control. Then tell her to suck your cock! :D

lol nice, but seriously put your foot down

lol nice, but seriously put your foot down

I did last night. She got pretty upset.

This is the kind of thing I'm talking about.

How do I do it without being...An asshole?

This is the only part of your post that was actually accurate and didn't make me think you were a complete fuckwit.

The problem is not that I'm clingy. I never gave a shit that she didn't want me to go to the mall with her. That was never my problem. I get the shits at her because she doesn't COMMUNICATE with me. So you're right. I have a problem with her being dishonest. I just wish she'd be straight up with me. SO, am I still a dickhead for getting mad when she won't just be honest about it?

Course i'm all wrong. But would you be able to admit to yourself if i wasn't?


And yes, she should communicate , but do you communicate with her? and i don't only mean what you want, but do you know what she wants, feels and.. you know

I'm not saying your communication sucks too, but often both sides can be blamed.


In case i'm making even less sence then yesterday, it's the sleep deprivation.

Course i'm all wrong. But would you be able to admit to yourself if i wasn't?

If you'll read my post again, you'll see that I admitted you were right.

And yes, she should communicate , but do you communicate with her? and i don't only mean what you want, but do you know what she wants, feels and.. you know

I'm not saying your communication sucks too, but often both sides can be blamed.


In case i'm making even less sence then yesterday, it's the sleep deprivation.


And yeah, I communicate with her all the time. My problem is she won't communicate with me like I do her, and this makes me get mad at her and we argue.

My question is how to I talk to her about the communication problem without making her upset?

If you'll read my post again, you'll see that I admitted you were right.




And yeah, I communicate with her all the time. My problem is she won't communicate with me like I do her, and this makes me get mad at her and we argue.

My question is how to I talk to her about the communication problem without making her upset?

Try not to get mad about it? Try to explain that you want to know what she's thinking/feeling/plotting, because you want the relationship to work and you want to know her better as a person. I don't know, maybe you've tried that. What's your usual approach to the situation?

Try not to get mad about it? Try to explain that you want to know what she's thinking/feeling/plotting, because you want the relationship to work and you want to know her better as a person. I don't know, maybe you've tried that. What's your usual approach to the situation?

I usually just say like "So...How come you lied to me?" or shit like that. And she'd be like "I didn't lie dude...It's just...It's nothing, don't worry about it. I love you."

Kind of goes around in circles like that a few times, then I say "No, it's not fucking nothing. You fucking lied to me. That's not fucking okay." and then she gets upset.

It's like I can either not can through to her, or get through to her and make her sad.

And I know it sounds like I'm overreacting, but this is over a lot worse shit than the examples I listed.

I usually just say like "So...How come you lied to me?" or shit like that. And she'd be like "I didn't lie dude...It's just...It's nothing, don't worry about it. I love you."

Kind of goes around in circles like that a few times, then I say "No, it's not fucking nothing. You fucking lied to me. That's not fucking okay." and then she gets upset.

It's like I can either not can through to her, or get through to her and make her sad.

And I know it sounds like I'm overreacting, but this is over a lot worse shit than the examples I listed.

Such as?

I think you're approaching this in a fundamentally flawed way. You're immediately putting her on the defensive. If you really want to strengthen the relationship, I suggest you ask her the same thing, but in a way where she feels as if she can respond without you getting angry at her. She needs to feel safe about telling you the truth. Saying "So...How come you lied to me?" will get you nowhere.

That said, you don't have to be an absolute pussy about it, you can still get your point across and get her to understand how it affects you, but you just have to do it in a better way; one that helps the relationship rather than hurts it.

So, maybe instead of being accusatory when you bring it up, discuss your side of the story in detail, and then ask her opinion on it. The important bit isn't so much what you say, but your attitude in the situation. I could type out a script for you but she still might not be receptive to it if she feels like she's being accused, even if she is in the wrong. Have a mature discussion about it, that's all.

If she still refuses to talk about it, well, find a new one or go on Dr Phil or something.