Ive been seeing this girl who I really like. I'm pretty certain that she really likes me too. Anyway, She refuses to take the lead on anything. Like when we last went out I know she is a really picky eater so I asked her what she wanted to eat it went something like this
"i don't know, it doesn't matter" ok so do you like this this this?
"umm it doesn't matter" ok, do you like pizza?
sure.
So she barely eats anything (I don't have a problem with that I just feel bad that she didn't like it)

After that I asked her what she wanted to do and eventually ended up at the mall (I wanted to get to know what kind of stuff she likes, colors, patterns, things like that)
So we walk around for awhile and go to a few stores I pick out, nothing exciting. I ask her if there's any stores she likes here and after some persuading she tells me that she likes a lot of them but doesn't like dragging people around nor does she like to window shop at places she can't afford. After more persuading I got her to look at the map and she said she knew where she wanted to go, but wouldn't tell me where, just that it was a couple stores on the second floor. So we walk to the end of the mall and I said "so where did you want to go" oh, I don't remember is her response. At that point I was just like fine, if she wants to be that way ill let her. The rest of the date was a disaster and ended up with me taking the longest way possible back to her house.

I probably took it the wrong way but I felt like she didn't want me to get to know her, which hurt a little. I think the reason why she didn't want to show me the stores she liked was because she didn't want me to buy her something (she thinks I have more money that I do). I also think she's afraid to show who she really is because she thinks I won't like her.

I think I might be her first boyfriend, she doesn't have many friends (self confessed lack of social life), works at the library, and is really timid and awkward sometimes. Acts somewhat flirty sometimes. Anyway I really like her and am just looking for some insight as to why she's acting like this.

Well I think you kinda said it yourself. She's just shy dude, keep hanging out with her and get to know her better and she'll open up.

That's how introverted people act. Stick with it.

Doesn't sound out of the ordinary for a shy person. I've known a lot of people like that; people who don't like to eat in front of people or be assertive in fear of coming off as picky or demanding, and who are hesitant to let people get to know them. They've all opened up in time. You just need to show her that she can trust you not to drop her because of what she likes and who she is; keep at it and she'll get more comfortable and open up to you. She wouldn't have agreed to go out with you if she didn't like you.

You're the man, you take the lead. Nothing pisses a girl off more than having to deal with this kind of conversation: hey, what movie do you want to see? I don't know, what do you want to see? You need to be telling her where she will eat and what movie she's going to see, unless she straight out disagrees. Don't buy shit for girls either or even suggest it, another poor move. This might take some time, but really you just need to learn not to care. I know you've heard this word before: 'confidence.' It's in a girls nature to know when you're the slightest bit insecure, which you definitely are based on this statement "I probably took it the wrong way but I felt like she didn't want me to get to know her, which hurt a little."

What this girl really needs is someone who is your complete opposite, so you need to make some changes. My suggestion to you, which works for girls like her to great effect, is to smoke some weed and play video games at your place.

She's insecure. Get her to try anal.

You just need to reassure her that you really like her and would never shit on her for she likes. She obviously doesn't feel she can open up to you so let her know she can.

What this girl really needs is someone who is your complete opposite, so you need to make some changes. My suggestion to you, which works for girls like her to great effect, is to smoke some weed and play video games at your place.

I would absolutly love to do this with her but i really dont think she would want to smoke weed with me. I mean she probably would do it if i asked her, just because she wouldnt say no, but shes really not that type. I dont even know if I really want to get her started in something like that.

http://www.succeedsocially.com/shytalk

:)

btw, for any shy guys, that site is an excellent resource for helping yourself.

My ex is like that. Pretty much as you spend more time with her she will start to open up. A good idea might be to talk to her friends or family and see what she likes. Using that, you can have a good time until she starts to feel comfortable. If it never goes away then forget it, because it becomes more work than what it is worth.

*bookmarks it*

nice site, thanks.

Dude, my missus was the same.
She's just shy.

Me and my girl would go to the same place to have a drink and cuddle up for about three months...I'd walk her home, kiss her goodnight and go home (she shared a room with some other chick so I couldn't spend the night)
We would go t to places and she'd be pretty quiet about a lot of things, wouldn't give any ideas on what to see or do.

Three months later, we're having sex and I gotta say, it was nowhere near as good as I am used to. She was just so timid and quiet and did not react to much at all...No matter what tried and true method I used, nothing. It was really disheartening to be honest and made me question my sexual performance (which I had NO problems with before her. At all, mate!)

Some advice from someone who has been through it...Persevere if she's worth it. If you feel enough for this girl, keep trying. Just be yourself and do your best to let her know she can relax and be comfortable with you and believe me you guys will be cool around each other and you'll be getting the good stuff before you know it.
Hopefully while she's sucking your cock, looking you in the eye whilst wearing stockings and a suspender belt or some other form of sexy lingerie (like I get now days! ;) )
I fucking love it! :D

If not, she's not for you mate.

I'm the same way, although I'd like to think I'm not as bad as I used to be. I am sooo shy, and for us shy people, being around someone we don't know that well is hard enough. Making decisions while doing so? Ahhh, impossible. So for the first few dates, take the lead and make suggestions. If you don't want to flat out say what you're doing and eating, offer a few choices and let her pick. If she still doesn't respond, state that you have a preference for one, and she will most likely pick that one. Hey, it's a start.

I would absolutly love to do this with her but i really dont think she would want to smoke weed with me. I mean she probably would do it if i asked her, just because she wouldnt say no, but shes really not that type. I dont even know if I really want to get her started in something like that.

Don't be so sure. I used to be horrible, painfully shy, and I still smoked weed.