I am at a total fucking blank at what to do with this chick. We met 2 months ago, and it started small and grew from there (got her number, we joke around alot, we talked some nights, etc.). I was a bit nervous, since this is the first chick that I actually WENT UP TO and talked and joked around, the first time I was making an honest effort to get to know her and such, and still worry a bit if I did it right. But that's not my main concern. The reason why I'm here on Totse for help is my friend. We'll call him Joe. And some other dude, but he's minor.

Joe is a friend from middle school (We're all seniors in HS now). Lives kinda close to me. Joe is also a friend of the chick's brother, and has visited the chick's house before. Joe is a friend of the chick, as well.Sounds normal and fine, so I'll lay out what bothers me.

It started this past Monday. Schedules were changing, and the chick and I no longer had PE in the morning, which was the time I used to talk and joke around. We all share Pre-Calculus. It began normal, and I joked with everyone, and everyone joked with me. Then the good times ended. We were texting in class (I know, lots of HS stuff, bear with me), and in one of those texts, she tells me to tell Joe that she secretly likes him. Son of a bitch.

Now, we all know from using the intarwebs that IMing or texting loses some of the emotion behind the message (Sarcasm sometimes causes confusion). I understand we were all joking around at the time. But me and my damn jealous self cannot let this go. Why? Because this little event made me open my eyes more and look back. As far as I've known, Joe began texting her more frequently when I started texting/talking to her. Maybe they've always communicated. When the chick and I talked, Joe slipped into the conversation, if only for a joke. We never talked about him or anything, he just gets mentioned in the slightest way possible. We prank-called him once. Joe has known the chick longer than I have, and has been to her house before, though most likely just to hang out with the brother. Thing is, the part that kills me is if she really meant that message, how do I go from there? I really like this chick, so I have considered just forgetting that message and go headstrong and ask her out by this weekend. If Joe likes her, I wouldn't care much (Not a best friend, btw, just someone I've known for awhile), since I have to look for my own happiness, right? Worst case scenario, she meant that message AND he likes her back, I don't know whether I should back off and support them, or "wage war" on Joe and continue trying with the chick until something happens. I can talk/text her anytime this weekend (It's a long weekend, from today until Sunday), and Joe as well, and I'm leaning towards flat out asking her if that message was true or not, though I won't do anything until I see some responses.

I guess that about covers it. I'll fill in any blanks I left out, if needed, I do remember a lot of details, and I'll answer any questions about me, the chick or Joe. I do realize that jealousy is a no-no, and I've been trying hard to get rid of it, I promise you. I do a good job of hiding it, so I know no one other than you guys would know I harbor those feelings. Thank you if you spent the time reading, and once again, I'll answer any questions and would love any advice/comments.

You seem to 'joke around' with this girl quite a lot, that's what stands out to me as you being seen a friend. Another thing is if she was being serious with that text (which she most likely will be) then she must also look at you as a friend. Maybe she got an inkling you liked her, and decided to tell you about her feelings for your friend, just so that you did'nt ask her out and she would have to say NO. By all means, keep trying at least that way you've got some chance whereas without trying you have 0% chance. Do you flirt a lot? Or just 'joke around'? Joking around is good... as long as you're not being too FRIENDLY about it. You should flirt more, just don't try TOO hard with this girl. Maybe with all this joking around she does'nt take you seriously as a possible partner?

Just play it cool, see what happends. If she likes this guy then so be it, find someone else. She would'nt be worth your time if she likes your friend anyways.

Your first move should be to punch Joe in his fucking face.

So a highschool girl likes a middle school guy? Does that happen a lot? Or maybe I read it wrong. It sounds to me like she's joking, especially with Joe being the dickhead that he is. Keep trying, take Diesel's advice. If all else fails, dress up as Joe and rape her.

True, I understand the whole friend zone thing, but I do joke around because she is shy, and that makes her more comfortable and loose to talk to, opens her up more. Thing is, though, I tried to take care of that early on and flirted with her on numerous occasions, like when we talked some nights, I wasn't just cracking jokes, we talked about each other, got to know a bit about each other, etc.I'd like to think Joe as the friend here, but that could be ignorant thinking. I hope you aren't right about her text, but I'm still going for it, that's why I'm asking you guys :)

Though, in my defense, she isn't so mature herself, which is why I have that bit of hope that it was a joke (She HAS mentioned joking around like that previously)

Your first move should be to punch Joe in his fucking face.

So a highschool girl likes a middle school guy? Does that happen a lot? Or maybe I read it wrong. It sounds to me like she's joking, especially with Joe being the dickhead that he is. Keep trying, take Diesel's advice. If all else fails, dress up as Joe and rape her.


GOD DAMN, I laughed hard! No, I knew Joe SINCE middle school, and thanks


Edit:And shit, she texted me, this usually ends with a nightly talk...

You may be over thinking the situation (usually happens with things like this), i can't claim anything to be 100% correct here since i don't know the details of your relationship.

By asking her if the message was true, she will catch on that you like her (if she hasn't already, though she probably has) and this could potentially screw things up, communication may become awkward between the both of you which might ruin your chances of ever continuing your current "relationship".

My advice for you, don't get in the middle of it. Don't tell Joe about the message, if she meant it, she will tell him herself. Keep cool, and stop analyzing things (you mentioned that you still worry if you got to know her right), try and back off a bit and let her push things forward, let her come to you. This way, you'll know that at least she's interested in you somewhat.

Like Diesel said, don't try too hard, girls notice these things..

Good luck.

Dude.. Tell her whats up. Let her know you want to tap that. (in a non-asshole way ofcourse)

And let joe know that you called dibs, and to back off. And start doing shit with her.

Take her to the movies/party. I was in highschool once i know theres a shit ton of parties going on around this time. Especially Halloween time.

I say fuck Joe, fuck the message, do what you want.
Ask her out and then have babies with her...Is that what you wanted to hear from us? Well i said it.
Now go do your thing.

What will it hurt to try? Regret is the cost of inaction.

why didn't you just laugh and ask if her if she was serious when she said she liked Joe?

INFACT, why not just ask her now? Start off subtly, and say "So when are you going to ask joe out?", and based on her reaction you can tell if she's serious or not.

Alright, so, major update!

Joe is no longer a concern, it was a joke, I got that out of the way (Guess I was over analyzing things, I tend to do that). BUT...now there's another Joe. We'll call him Steve. Steve is the real deal, the one I should pay attention to, she kinda likes him, but they just recently had a big argument over the fact that Steve wasn't the guy she thought he was, he's a jerk. So, after these two days and nights talking with the chick, here's what I can come up with:

1) Yeeep, no doubt about it anymore, I'm in the friends zone, shit sux.
2) She's losing much interest in Steve
3) I know secrets and stories she won't dare tell anyone (Ok, maybe this doesn't count)

So, I guess my question now would be the age-old question of how do I rise from the friends zone? Should I even pursue it? What can I do to sever ties with this Steve and profit from this little situation?

If all else fails, I do hope we could still remain friends, I really do care about her.

EDIT: Actually, before this works/doesn't work out, another question: How do I make it so I won't appear as just a friend to women?

Ask BI how to kill someone, there's already a thread about throwing out the body in there.