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| Sex and Affection Anything and everything about sex and relations. Please try to keep this forum on-topic, since things tend to wander a bit. Search through old topics before posting a new one, as questions get repeated a lot here. |
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# 1
2008-10-23, 20:23
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Falling in love with a married woman
I have fallen for this girl, named Haylee, who is married. She is only 20, and I am 24. She married this guy who is a Marine, who was her highschool sweetheart. Well her husband, Chris, is in Iraq right now. Now, if he was some badass combat marine risking his life in the infantry, I would feel bad, but all this fucker does is paint helicopters. This girl got married too young, and this guy Chris is an asshole to her. It's common knowledge to everyone that he has cheated on her with atleast 20 different women throughout their relationship. She has only been with him, and no one else. No other boyfriends or anything.
So anyhow, I have been friends with Haylee for about six months.She is 20, and I am 24. Since day one, there has been a huge attraction between us. I would always go out of my way to go to a party or event if I knew she was going to be there, same with her. We would always talk, flirt, and everyone would ask us if we were a couple. However, I would never cross that line, I never let her know how I truly feel. I know she felt something for me too.
Well, I hadn't been around much lately, and my friends told me that Haylee had been asking about me, so I decided to go hang out with them all a couple days ago. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but we both spilled the beans. She told me that she felt the same way about me, and I told her how I truly felt about her. How I look forward to seeing her, think she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, how I've wanted to kiss her and treat her right for so long. So all night we were discreetly (because our other friends were around) rubbing on eachother, brushing, giving knowing looks to eachother. Then when it came time to leave, I left first... and waited outside by my car, and she came out a minute or so later. As soon as she came near me we started kissing, and it was the most amazing passionate kiss I have ever felt. We kissed in the middle the of the street in front of my car, for like 20 minutes. Almost like we were making up for all the times we should have kissed. Like finally we got to show our true feelings. It was so amazing. I looked into her eyes and told her I had been dying to do that since the day I met her, kissed her once more, and got in my car and left, to keep her wanting more.
So the next day (last night), she came over to my house and we smoked some pot, ate a little, and I gave her a massage, and we kissed more. Then it just happened, we had sex on my bed. I am the second guy she has EVER slept with. She felt really bad after, but that didn't stop her from cuddling with me for another couple hours, and kissing me. It feels so right when we are together for me. I know she has puppy love for her husband, but he is a total dickwad to her, and I know its not going to work out for them. I told her she shouldn't feel bad, because of what he has done to her in the past, and because I will be a real man to her, and take care of her, and be faithful to her, and make her dreams come true (which I will, and can). She told me she feels so torn (Which I completely understand). I am so in love with her, and when we are together we are perfect. The rest of the world fades away. Her husband has been gone for like a year anyways. He is coming back in November, and I'm not really sure whats going to happen. I think they'll probably end up splitting up (regardless of what happened between her and I) simply because they are too young, and plus he is a cheating scumbag anyways. He is an idiot for not appreciating her. This girl is SO beautiful. Long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, perfect face and body. Beautiful smile, but more importantly, she is an awesome person. Very sweet, and hardworking. She deserves the best, and I know she is not the type to commit adultery, but what happened between us was something that could not be stopped, because maybe we were meant to be together? We held back for so long, but the heart eventually will make your body follow.
I just sit here, both in love, and scared, because either way I don't want to lose her friendship. I know she is scared and confused, but also she feels the same way about me. I know only time will tell. I guess I had to tell totse, because I can't tell any of my real friends, because I don't want to put Haylee on blast. What do you guys think will happen?
Also to add: this douchebag Chris has nothing to offer her. He will always be a poor, cheating scumbag. He can't even fight for his country, he has to paint fucking helicopters. He is a pussy.
I, on the other hand, come from a wealthy family, am wealthy myself, better looking, would treat her like a goddess, and I have a bright future. I am the better man in EVERY way, and I would NEVER cheat on her or disrespect her like he has.
Last edited by Seany Digital 17; 2008-10-23 at 20:38.
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# 2
2008-10-23, 20:33
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Regular
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Groovy.
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
You tell yourself "No", stop the attraction growing into love and move along.
You've fucked up. The girl is a slut. The guy doesn't deserve this shit. I suggest both of you kill yourselves.
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# 3
2008-10-23, 20:35
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
You're an idiot. How the fuck is she a slut for following her heart? I am the second guy she has ever been with, dickwad. Meanwhile he has fucking cheated on her with atleast 20 fucking other girls and completely disrespected her. Why the fuck should she pass on her dream guy, for her asshole husband who fucked her over, and tied her down when she was 18?
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# 4
2008-10-23, 20:38
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seany Digital 17
You're an idiot.
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Yes he is.
The only thing you can really do now is keep doing what you have been doing, or back off totally. It sounds like the marriage isn't going to work anyways, so I would go for it if I were you.
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# 5
2008-10-23, 20:44
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Regular
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Groovy.
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seany Digital 17
You're an idiot. How the fuck is she a slut for following her heart? I am the second guy she has ever been with, dickwad. Meanwhile he has fucking cheated on her with atleast 20 fucking other girls and completely disrespected her. Why the fuck should she pass on her dream guy, for her asshole husband who fucked her over, and tied her down when she was 18?
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1). How he treats her shouldn't be of your concern, especially based on some rumours. They are married, and you're not a part of their relationship. If she's not happy with him, she shouldn't have married him. Now that they're married, and suddenly somehow he changed completely, she can divorce him.
2). She is a slut for marrying the guy, and then fucking other guys when he's not around. Nobody "tied her down", she was the one who said "yes" when asked if she wants to spend the rest of her days with the guy. If she didn't love him/wasn't confident in their relationship, shouldn't have married him.
3). You knew she was married, yet pursued her while her husband wasn't around. That's fucking low.
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# 6
2008-10-23, 20:52
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Regular
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Groovy.
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliveupboy
The only thing you can really do now is keep doing what you have been doing, or back off totally.
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What a fantastic piece of advice. Man, that's a real eye-opener.
In other news, you're a moron.
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# 7
2008-10-23, 20:55
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
1). How he treats her isn't my concern. However, he has cheated on her FOR A FACT. I don't even know the fucking guy, and they are not rumors. Everyone knows he is a cheating son a bitch.
2). She is not a slut, and has only slept with ME. Not other guys, and this was after knowing me for a LONG time. Also, she was 18 when she got married. It's not like she was making a good decision. She was fucking 18. NO ONE SHOULD GET MARRIED THAT YOUNG.
3). I did not pursue her. I held back, and it just happened. Because it was meant to. Also, her husband isn't my friend. FUCK HIM. Thats not low at all, it's called natural selection you faggot. He doesn't deserve her in the first place. I didn't have to pursue her, there was chemistry there from the start. He is of no concern to me anyways. What is not only low and dumb, is for her to waste any more of her youth with a cheating loser asshole who is too pussy to even pick up a weapon and fight with his comrades, who can't be faithful to her, and who paints fucking helicopters and is poor. stfu.
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# 8
2008-10-23, 21:01
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent 008
What a fantastic piece of advice. Man, that's a real eye-opener.
In other news, you're a moron.
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Right, shes a slut because she has slept with, OMG, an astronomical number of people (2). Yeah. That makes sense.
And he doesn't deserve it? How do you figure? He cheats on her all the time, and has basically left her for the past year.
Your logic is flawed/non existent. Fucking retard.
Marriages fail sometimes faggot. Especially when the guy cheats. It sounds like this marriage is destined to fail, or she is destined to be unhappily married. So if the OP cares about her, which he clearly does, then it is every bit his business. My guess is you are either 1) really stupid and struggle in school or 2) your parents got divorced when you were a kid and it fucked you up. Or maybe both 1 and 2 if you're really unlucky.
Last edited by aliveupboy; 2008-10-23 at 21:06.
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# 9
2008-10-23, 21:03
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
She sounds like an amazing girl..I would definitely go for it, but for sure find out whats going on with them because he could come back and then forget about you? so ya just try to take it slow or else you could get burned
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# 10
2008-10-23, 21:24
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
married girls = hands off, have some fucking morals and self restraint.
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#11
2008-10-23, 21:28 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Angry Blue Bird of Death
married girls = hands off, have some fucking morals and self restraint.
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Normally I would agree with this, but since he cheats on her all the time the situation is different. |
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#12
2008-10-23, 21:37 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
1). How he treats her isn't my concern. However, he has cheated on her FOR A FACT. I don't even know the fucking guy, and they are not rumors. Everyone knows he is a cheating son a bitch.
Does she know it "FOR A FACT"? She's still with him? Well, that means she doesn't mind. You are not a part of their relationship.
2). She is not a slut, and has only slept with ME.
She is married, and she's sleeping with another guy while her husband is away. That makes her a slut in my world.
Not other guys, and this was after knowing me for a LONG time.
Oh right, because you're a family friend it somehow makes it better. Well guess what, it fucking doesn't.
Also, she was 18 when she got married.
So what? At the age of 18 she was unable to comprehend what she was doing? Bullshit.
It's not like she was making a good decision.
That was her decision. She knew what she was getting into. She made a decision to spend the rest of her life with the guy, and then jumped into the sack with some random guy the moment her husband stepped out the door. There is no justification for that.
She was fucking 18. NO ONE SHOULD GET MARRIED THAT YOUNG.
Aristotle once said, "The perfect age for marriage is 18 for women and 37 for men". There is nothing wrong with getting married at 18 - and a cheating whore will still be a cheating whore at 18 or at 30.
I did not pursue her. I held back, and it just happened.
Bullshit. Things don't "just happen". You made a move, and she responded. Or she made a move, and you responded. Either way, you are fully responsible for what happened.
Because it was meant to.
That's a great argument.
Also, her husband isn't my friend. FUCK HIM. Thats not low at all, it's called natural selection you faggot.
It's clear that the concept of "trust", "honour" and "morals" are foreign to both of you.
He doesn't deserve her in the first place.
Did you miss the fact that she married the guy? They agreed that they both deserve each other and want to be with each other. Your opinion is irrelevant.
I didn't have to pursue her, there was chemistry there from the start.
Having the chemistry and acting on it are two different things. You can't control your thoughts, but you can control your actions.
He is of no concern to me anyways. What is not only low and dumb, is for her to waste any more of her youth with a cheating loser asshole who is too pussy to even pick up a weapon and fight with his comrades, who can't be faithful to her, and who paints fucking helicopters and is poor. stfu.
I think you missed the point again that they are still married to each other, and they agreed to be with each other, and they should have thought about all that before making that decision. What you think of their relationship is irrelevant.
You acted like a total cunt, and she followed. My advice still stands.
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#13
2008-10-23, 21:43 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
I agree with Agent 008 that the situation really shouldn't have happened in the first place; she made the choice to marry him, she made a commitment and it was wrong of both you and her to compromise that.
However it sounds like her marriage was more of a stupid mistake than anything, and from they way you describe it, I can understand how and why the whole thing has happened. That doesn't make it any less wrong or inappropriate, but I can see how someone who made the mistake of marrying the wrong person, and so young, would seek affection elsewhere when they finally found someone with whom they're more compatible.
Regardless, what's happened has happened and there is nothing you can do but move forward and deal with your actions. You pretty much have two choices: both of you realize that you've done a really shady thing and cut it off, call it a youthful indiscretion and never cross that line again, but from the sounds of it I doubt you'll do that. Or, you can be together the right way: after she's broken things off with her husband, and not before. If her marriage really is such a sham, and you two really are supposed to be together, then there's no way to do it except honestly, with her divorced from him. It's understandably difficult for her to break off the marriage, but she can't have her cake and eat it too: if she cares about you and is checked out of the marriage like she's supposed to be, it'll be easy and obvious for her to tell him she's sorry and hand him the walking papers. If she can't commit to you or him...run the other way, because there is nothing but trouble to be had from fucking with a married woman.
By the way, cut it out with the 'I'm rich, he's poor" bullshit. It makes you look like an idiot.
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#14
2008-10-23, 21:43 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Right, shes a slut because she has slept with, OMG, an astronomical number of people (2). Yeah. That makes sense.
Read my reply to the OP, if you're struggling with it.
And he doesn't deserve it? How do you figure? He cheats on her all the time, and has basically left her for the past year.
Were you holding the candle by any chance when he was cheating? No? Then shut up. I suppose she is the only person that could be affected by his actions, and she agreed to marry him in the first place and she's still married to him.
Your logic is flawed/non existent. Fucking retard.
Marriages fail sometimes faggot. Especially when the guy cheats. It sounds like this marriage is destined to fail, or she is destined to be unhappily married. So if the OP cares about her, which he clearly does, then it is every bit his business. My guess is you are either 1) really stupid and struggle in school or 2) your parents got divorced when you were a kid and it fucked you up. Or maybe both 1 and 2 if you're really unlucky.
I'm sorry, but you're an idiot.
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#15
2008-10-23, 21:59 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Agent you have one good point, and that is there is no solid proof of cheating, like a video tape or something. But assuming, he does cheat on her, and quite regularly from what the OP suggests, then all your other points are mute. If hes cheating on her, then there marriage is worthless, and nothing more then a false title.
Yes they did things the wrong way, she should have left him first. But if she was planning on leaving him when they slept together then it doesn't really matter. You're acting like she did something totally unforgivable. And normally that is a pretty sleazy thing to do, but not if he did it first, and repeatedly.
If you married some girl, and found out that for the last year of your marriage ever friday she had been sneaking out when you feel asleep and fucking tons of other people, would you really feel that sleeping with someone you love is wrong? After what she did to you?
Anyways, w/e im done with this, and whats happened has happened. My advice to the OP is practical, whereas yours is ridiculous (double suicide). You aren't helping him in anyway, and are just bitching about your definition of sluts and morals.
Edit: Aristotle once said, "The perfect age for marriage is 18 for women and 37 for men"... lol. Yeah, because his advice on marriage in a time where the life expectancy was like 50, and there was no medicine to assist older women in child birth can be completely applied to the modern world, where 18 year olds are technically adults but have been sheltered so much their entire life they are really only beginning to become mature. Did you know aristotle also once said "You're a faggot" ? I think that applies very much towards yourself.
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#16
2008-10-23, 22:14 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Agent you have one good point, and that is there is no solid proof of cheating, like a video tape or something. But assuming, he does cheat on her, and quite regularly from what the OP suggests, then all your other points are mute. If hes cheating on her, then there marriage is worthless, and nothing more then a false title.
If she thought the marriage was over, she should've filed for divorce. I agree, it's not THAT bad if he DID cheat first, but it still makes her as bad as her husband.
Yes they did things the wrong way, she should have left him first. But if she was planning on leaving him when they slept together then it doesn't really matter. You're acting like she did something totally unforgivable. And normally that is a pretty sleazy thing to do, but not if he did it first, and repeatedly.
If you married some girl, and found out that for the last year of your marriage ever friday she had been sneaking out when you feel asleep and fucking tons of other people, would you really feel that sleeping with someone you love is wrong? After what she did to you?
My first thought would be to break it with her, not go shag other girls while keeping the marriage.
Anyways, w/e im done with this, and whats happened has happened. My advice to the OP is practical, whereas yours is ridiculous (double suicide). You aren't helping him in anyway, and are just bitching about your definition of sluts and morals.
It doesn't matter what the OP does now, but I hope that he at least understands what he did wrong, and others that read this thread never act like the OP.
Edit: Aristotle once said, "The perfect age for marriage is 18 for women and 37 for men"... lol. Yeah, because his advice on marriage in a time where the life expectancy was like 50, and there was no medicine to assist older women in child birth can be completely applied to the modern world, where 18 year olds are technically adults but have been sheltered so much their entire life they are really only beginning to become mature. Did you aristotle also once said "You're a faggot"? I think that applies very much towards yourself.
That's a discussion for a separate thread, but I believe his opinion still holds, in general. Of course, every particular situation is different.
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#17
2008-10-23, 22:19 |
shadowmartyr 
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Angry Blue Bird of Death
married girls = hands off, have some fucking morals and self restraint.
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5char |
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#18
2008-10-23, 22:20 |
callumpimp
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Does she know it "FOR A FACT"? She's still with him? Well, that means she doesn't mind. You are not a part of their relationship.
She is married, and she's sleeping with another guy while her husband is away. That makes her a slut in my world.
Oh right, because you're a family friend it somehow makes it better. Well guess what, it fucking doesn't.
So what? At the age of 18 she was unable to comprehend what she was doing? Bullshit.
That was her decision. She knew what she was getting into. She made a decision to spend the rest of her life with the guy, and then jumped into the sack with some random guy the moment her husband stepped out the door. There is no justification for that.
Aristotle once said, "The perfect age for marriage is 18 for women and 37 for men". There is nothing wrong with getting married at 18 - and a cheating whore will still be a cheating whore at 18 or at 30.
Bullshit. Things don't "just happen". You made a move, and she responded. Or she made a move, and you responded. Either way, you are fully responsible for what happened.
That's a great argument.
It's clear that the concept of "trust", "honour" and "morals" are foreign to both of you.
Did you miss the fact that she married the guy? They agreed that they both deserve each other and want to be with each other. Your opinion is irrelevant.
Having the chemistry and acting on it are two different things. You can't control your thoughts, but you can control your actions.
I think you missed the point again that they are still married to each other, and they agreed to be with each other, and they should have thought about all that before making that decision. What you think of their relationship is irrelevant.
You acted like a total cunt, and she followed. My advice still stands.
your a fucking prick
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#19
2008-10-23, 22:21 |
incongruous
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
I honestly think you simply want people to back up your position so that you may feel justified and comfortable for stealing another man's wife.
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#20
2008-10-23, 22:26 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
your a fucking prick
I'll quote your argument in case you decide to edit it out.
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#21
2008-10-23, 22:38 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
low man, low.
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#22
2008-10-23, 23:07 |
Misfit
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
I think it's funny when people fuck someone who has a boyfriend, then start telling themselves that their spouse is a complete asshole, just to make themselves not feel so bad about fucking somebody's missus.
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#23
2008-10-23, 23:29 |
killface
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Thats not low at all, it's called natural selection you faggot.
and yet, if her husband came back and beat you to death, people would call it murder.
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#24
2008-10-23, 23:34 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
and yet, if her husband came back and beat you to death, people would call it murder.
Murder = natural selection.
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#25
2008-10-23, 23:41 |
killface
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Murder = natural selection.
the thing is when you play the survival of the fittest card you have to be prepared to play it to the hilt... something almost no one is actually prepared to do.
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#26
2008-10-23, 23:52 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
the thing is when you play the survival of the fittest card you have to be prepared to play it to the hilt... something almost no one is actually prepared to do.
I am.
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#27
2008-10-24, 00:14 |
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within the subliminal
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
If you are so wealthy and hes so poor, I guess she's in it for the money. If she cheats on her husband who's to say she won't cheat on you? How do you know what she feels for her husband? If she did'nt want to be with him 100% she would'nt be, simple as that. You sound VERY naive, and you're believing everything that's is comming out of this girls mouth. Get out of there, fast.
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#28
2008-10-24, 00:15 |
Seany Digital 17
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
As for her husband coming back and trying to do shit to me, it's not going to happen. I would fuck his shit up, and I am armed to the teeth. So honestly, that is not a worry for me. I'd snap him like a twig, and I have more guns than I care to list, as well as 3 guard dogs and security cameras on my property. Infact, she told me today on the phone that she talked to him and he was like "Don't be hanging out with other guys, or I'll kill 'em" and she laughed her ass off, because she knows there is not a chance in hell he could do a damn thing to me.
She is also not "in it for the money". My point was that I can take care of her better than he ever can. Wealth is not the deciding factor for her. She is not a gold digger, or she wouldn't have married his sorry ass in the first place. I was only saying that he doesn't hold a candle to me in terms of being a good provider for a family.
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#29
2008-10-24, 00:23 |
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within the subliminal
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
As for her husband coming back and trying to do shit to me, it's not going to happen. I would fuck his shit up, and I am armed to the teeth. So honestly, that is not a worry for me. I'd snap him like a twig, and I have more guns than I care to list, as well as 3 guard dogs and security cameras on my property. Infact, she told me today on the phone that she talked to him and he was like "Don't be hanging out with other guys, or I'll kill 'em" and she laughed her ass off, because she knows there is not a chance in hell he could do a damn thing to me.
Woah, I did'nt realise you were such a hardass.
She is also not "in it for the money". My point was that I can take care of her better than he ever can. Wealth is not the deciding factor for her. She is not a gold digger, or she wouldn't have married his sorry ass in the first place. I was only saying that he doesn't hold a candle to me in terms of being a good provider for a family.
My point is, why was she with this guy that supposedly cheats on her and treats her so bad? How the fuck would you know she is not just fucking with you?
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#30
2008-10-24, 00:52 |
Exothermia
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Eh, however you slice it, you've fucked this woman. You've already won.
I'm not sure how to tell you to proceed. These sorts of things rarely ever end well. The best you can hope for is that she leaves him and he doesn't find out about you, and that she ends up moving on with you.
More than likely though, he will find out about you, and whether you think you can take him or not, it will be a very unpleasant encounter in which people may be injured or killed, and in the end she won't be over him when she starts her relationship with you and it will be tainted from the start.
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#31
2008-10-24, 01:03 |
callumpimp
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
I'll quote your argument in case you decide to edit it out.
stfu........
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#32
2008-10-24, 01:04 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
This reminds me of a guy I used to work with up north. He was rough around the edges, and he had a saying he used to always say. "No ring plugs a hole." I used to think he was an asshole, but then I started realizing that he was absolutely right.
My philosophy in life is that love is love, and there really isn't much that can get in the way of that except the other persons determination to not fall in love with you. Obviously she didn't have or didn't want to will herself to not fall in love with the OP, and love conquers all, even topples marriage.
I guess you could bring up the old saying, " If she did it to him, she'll do it to you," but that's actually not always true. A person's will to stay with their partner isn't the same for all partners. Love isn't always shared the same, and it sways a person's judgment differently in all cases.
I myself have been given many opportunities to fuck a married woman, but I turned them down. The only reason I did turn them down is that I didn't have any intention of marrying the woman myself, and just wanted to fuck her. To me, it wasn't worth aiding in someone cheating on their spouse. However, this case seems to be much different, as the OP seems to believe he is the better of the two men, and does want to take her as his own GF, and eventually his wife as I assume from what he's said. If she truly is in love with him, and decides to leave her husband for a stronger connection, great for them and finding love, if that is what they've found.
In my opinion, the real reason everyone here is responding the way they are, is because they are human, and as humans they have insecurities, and this situation troubles them because it brings to light how easily their own relationships could fall apart. Most of what I've heard is selfish protectionist thinking. The funny thing is, if you really do love someone, you'll let them go if they find a love stronger than the connection you shared with them, and forgive them if they make the mistake and want to reconcile. We're all human, and love makes us to do stupid things, and that's why most replies have been more selfish than honest.
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#33
2008-10-24, 01:20 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
In my opinion, the real reason everyone here is responding the way they are, is because they are human, and as humans they have insecurities, and this situation troubles them because it brings to light how easily their own relationships could fall apart. Most of what I've heard is selfish protectionist thinking. The funny thing is, if you really do love someone, you'll let them go if they find a love stronger than the connection you shared with them, and forgive them if they make the mistake and want to reconcile. We're all human, and love makes us to do stupid things, and that's why most replies have been more selfish than honest.
If I was married to a girl, but somehow things went pear-shaped, we were no longer in love, and she found someone else and wanted divorce, I would let her go - no need to torture each other for no good reason.
But this is different. She's doing it behind his back. Him being away doesn't mean that she can't break it off, yet she doesn't. She's being dishonest.
I don't mind a relationship falling apart - shit happens, such is life. But I do mind getting betrayed and being lied to. If we split, at least I'd like to know I didn't get mistaken in her as a person.
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#34
2008-10-24, 01:23 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
If I was married to a girl, but somehow things went pear-shaped, we were no longer in love, and she found someone else and wanted divorce, I would let her go - no need to torture each other for no good reason.
But this is different. She's doing it behind his back. Him being away doesn't mean that she can't break it off, yet she doesn't. She's being dishonest.
I don't mind a relationship falling apart - shit happens, such is life. But I do mind getting betrayed and being lied to. If we split, at least I'd like to know I didn't get mistaken in her as a person.
You are right about this. She should have ended it with the guy as soon as she knew it was over.
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#35
2008-10-24, 01:31 |
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Regular
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Australia, south east
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Can you stop hanging onto the whole "The bastard isnt even a brave soldier fighting beside his comrades"
Like seriously, he's not suddenly immune from being cheated on if he's "fighting bravely" in that noble war on terror.
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#36
2008-10-24, 01:35 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
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Originally Posted by Mötleÿ Crüe
Can you stop hanging onto the whole "The bastard isnt even a brave soldier fighting beside his comrades"
Like seriously, he's not suddenly immune from being cheated on if he's "fighting bravely" in that noble war on terror.
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... He paints helicopters lol. Not exactly my definition of a hero. |
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#37
2008-10-24, 01:41 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
And this thread gets 4 pages? Wtf is the big deal here? Why can't that girl simply get a divorce then you guys can together? Problem solved?
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#38
2008-10-24, 01:41 |
thatsMYdog
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
For fucks sake, the guy is in Iraq. It doesn't matter what job he's doing. I'm sure it sucks. You could have atleast waited for him to come back so they could end things the right way. If he cheated as many times as she said he did, she could have divorced him before he left in the first place. It's pretty low and two-faced to go around talking shit about someone you chose to spend the rest of your life with behind their back. He calls and they're both happy and telling each other they love them. But then she goes to you and tells a sad story. Is that what you want?
If so, go for it- I mean, that's what you wanted to hear right? You didn't actually post that seeking advice or anything. Maybe she'll change or something.
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#39
2008-10-24, 01:42 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
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Originally Posted by WritingANovel
And this thread gets 4 pages? Wtf is the big deal here? Why can't that girl simply get a divorce then you guys can together? Problem solved?
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Its only 1 page if you're not a stupid noob. |
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#40
2008-10-24, 01:44 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
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Originally Posted by thatsMYdog
For fucks sake, the guy is in Iraq. It doesn't matter what job he's doing. I'm sure it sucks. You could have atleast waited for him to come back so they could end things the right way. If he cheated as many times as she said he did, she could have divorced him before he left in the first place. It's pretty low and two-faced to go around talking shit about someone you chose to spend the rest of your life with behind their back. He calls and they're both happy and telling each other they love them. But then she goes to you and tells a sad story. Is that what you want?
If so, go for it- I mean, that's what you wanted to hear right? You didn't actually post that seeking advice or anything. Maybe she'll change or something.
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Boo fucking hoo, he paints stuff in iraq. So fucking what? You think thats patriotic? To do a cowardly job in a war most people agree is completely immoral and illegal. Yeah, hes a hero, taking no risk and supporting the deaths of millions. AND he cheats on his wife. Ya, what an awesome guy. He should get a metal or something. |
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#41
2008-10-24, 01:58 |
thatsMYdog
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Did you just read the first line of that post and then take it from there or something? I can't understand where you're getting anything you're saying. I never said anything about being patriotic. People here don't agree with the war, that's very true. But the people fighting the war don't even agree with it. They're just like puppets right now and it's ridiculous. They risk their lives simply by walking around because they were put in a country that doesn't want them there. But those men choose their own jobs. Never said this guy was a hero either. I never even said he was a good guy. I don't know him. I don't know why I'm even responding to you, I just posted thinking I could try to help this guy see some light.
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#42
2008-10-24, 02:06 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by thatsMYdog
Did you just read the first line of that post and then take it from there or something? I can't understand where you're getting anything you're saying. I never said anything about being patriotic. People here don't agree with the war, that's very true. But the people fighting the war don't even agree with it. They're just like puppets right now and it's ridiculous. They risk their lives simply by walking around because they were put in a country that doesn't want them there. But those men choose their own jobs. Never said this guy was a hero either. I never even said he was a good guy. I don't know him. I don't know why I'm even responding to you, I just posted thinking I could try to help this guy see some light.
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I can't remember what I was thinking, im multi tasking like a mother fucker right now, I was probably off the ball, or maybe I really did just read the first sentence and go from there. Anyways my point is/should have been, the fact hes in the military is 100% irrelevant. |
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#43
2008-10-24, 02:10 |
Seany Digital 17
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
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Originally Posted by easeoflife22
This reminds me of a guy I used to work with up north. He was rough around the edges, and he had a saying he used to always say. "No ring plugs a hole." I used to think he was an asshole, but then I started realizing that he was absolutely right.
My philosophy in life is that love is love, and there really isn't much that can get in the way of that except the other persons determination to not fall in love with you. Obviously she didn't have or didn't want to will herself to not fall in love with the OP, and love conquers all, even topples marriage.
I guess you could bring up the old saying, " If she did it to him, she'll do it to you," but that's actually not always true. A person's will to stay with their partner isn't the same for all partners. Love isn't always shared the same, and it sways a person's judgment differently in all cases.
I myself have been given many opportunities to fuck a married woman, but I turned them down. The only reason I did turn them down is that I didn't have any intention of marrying the woman myself, and just wanted to fuck her. To me, it wasn't worth aiding in someone cheating on their spouse. However, this case seems to be much different, as the OP seems to believe he is the better of the two men, and does want to take her as his own GF, and eventually his wife as I assume from what he's said. If she truly is in love with him, and decides to leave her husband for a stronger connection, great for them and finding love, if that is what they've found.
In my opinion, the real reason everyone here is responding the way they are, is because they are human, and as humans they have insecurities, and this situation troubles them because it brings to light how easily their own relationships could fall apart. Most of what I've heard is selfish protectionist thinking. The funny thing is, if you really do love someone, you'll let them go if they find a love stronger than the connection you shared with them, and forgive them if they make the mistake and want to reconcile. We're all human, and love makes us to do stupid things, and that's why most replies have been more selfish than honest.
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Wow, I think you explained it best. I do indeed have intentions to be her man. I know this situation is messed up, or I wouldn't be even posting in the first place. I am genuinely falling for her and have nothing but the best intentions. I don't feel bad for her (hopefully) soon-to-be-ex, because he treated her so badly in the past, and I think she deserves better. I know I can give her better.
p.s. gonna go hang out with her and some friends tonight ( the ones who introduced us, but who don't know what just happened between her and I)... lets see how that goes. Should be interesting. |
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#44
2008-10-24, 02:26 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Wow, I think you explained it best. I do indeed have intentions to be her man. I know this situation is messed up, or I wouldn't be even posting in the first place. I am genuinely falling for her and have nothing but the best intentions. I don't feel bad for her (hopefully) soon-to-be-ex, because he treated her so badly in the past, and I think she deserves better. I know I can give her better.
p.s. gonna go hang out with her and some friends tonight ( the ones who introduced us, but who don't know what just happened between her and I)... lets see how that goes. Should be interesting.
Dude.
Get her to divorce her husband.
Problem solved.
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#45
2008-10-24, 02:58 |
killface
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Woah, I did'nt realise you were such a hardass.
me neither.
y'all better take a step back.
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#46
2008-10-24, 03:25 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
... He paints helicopters lol. Not exactly my definition of a hero.
Its a bit more complicated than that. Lets see you bust your ass repairing bulletholes and mixing resin strong enough to last through flight. Ripping off panels and replacing them
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#47
2008-10-24, 05:59 |
phmeworp
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Silverfuck
I agree with Agent 008 that the situation really shouldn't have happened in the first place; she made the choice to marry him, she made a commitment and it was wrong of both you and her to compromise that.
However it sounds like her marriage was more of a stupid mistake than anything, and from they way you describe it, I can understand how and why the whole thing has happened. That doesn't make it any less wrong or inappropriate, but I can see how someone who made the mistake of marrying the wrong person, and so young, would seek affection elsewhere when they finally found someone with whom they're more compatible.
Regardless, what's happened has happened and there is nothing you can do but move forward and deal with your actions. You pretty much have two choices: both of you realize that you've done a really shady thing and cut it off, call it a youthful indiscretion and never cross that line again, but from the sounds of it I doubt you'll do that. Or, you can be together the right way: after she's broken things off with her husband, and not before. If her marriage really is such a sham, and you two really are supposed to be together, then there's no way to do it except honestly, with her divorced from him. It's understandably difficult for her to break off the marriage, but she can't have her cake and eat it too: if she cares about you and is checked out of the marriage like she's supposed to be, it'll be easy and obvious for her to tell him she's sorry and hand him the walking papers. If she can't commit to you or him...run the other way, because there is nothing but trouble to be had from fucking with a married woman.
By the way, cut it out with the 'I'm rich, he's poor" bullshit. It makes you look like an idiot.
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Hey darlin', after seeing your pictures, and reading your posts (such as the one above) there is NO WAY I can ever believe that you are are just 16. You look and think like someone who is at least 2 times that tender age.
First, let me thank you for calming me down more than just a wee bit. When I first started reading (scanning) this thread, I was beginning to get really awful flashbacks from VietNam. I was getting so enraged that not even large doses of whiskey were able to settle me down. Thanks again.
To the OP: Falling in love with a married woman is not that unusual, nor in my opinon all that bad. It has happened to me. It is/was wrong, but it does happen. Emotions do not observe any rules. But society mandates that we live by rules.
Back to my initial (rant) point. Just as those in 'charge' have told us: Iraq is NOT VietNam... the latter was rice fields and jungles, the former is oil fields and desert. But in both cases, the soldiers there, whether painting choppers or running field patrols, had/have no way of knowing if the women or even the little children running up to them to ask for some candy where what they seemed or if they had bombs strapped beneath their seemingly innocent garb.
No one in VietNam was safe from attack. No one in Iraq is safe from attack.
Killing people is bad. It fucks up your mind. But having other people trying to kill you is even worse. Please do not ask me to describe it; I can't.
The military, and anyone who becomes involved in the military, is conditioned to accomodate these conditions and situations. It can, and will, have a significant impact upon their lives, their attitudes, and their interactions upon those that they love.
Those that they leave behind can become confused, if not estranged emotionally, from the soldiers in the field. It is not just wrong for you to take advantage of this estrangement in regard to him or to her, but to yourself as well.
I am happy for both you and her for having found what seems to be a loving relationship between you, but for God's sake, please take a step or two back so the both of you can evaluate, in non-emotional terms, whether or not what you have found is really true love or just a companionship of necessity in a dire situation.
That is all (I think) |
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#48
2008-10-24, 09:12 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
You only live once. Do it.
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#49
2008-10-24, 09:20 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Hey darlin', after seeing your pictures, and reading your posts (such as the one above) there is NO WAY I can ever believe that you are are just 16. You look .. like someone who is at least 2 times that tender age.
Dude... Not cool.
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#50
2008-10-24, 09:55 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
The two of you will be lucky if this guy doesn't go ballistic if/when finds out about it so you might want to enjoy each other while you have the chance or you could play it safe and back off until she's free of him; either way your name is Jody.
As for painting helicoptors, it takes seven Marines in support billets for every one combat Marine and that doesn't count the Navy personnel. I'm going to guess this jarhead does other aircraft maintenance related tasks as well. How the hell can you call his job or any job assigned to a U.S. serviceman "cowardly" ?
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#51
2008-10-24, 12:51 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Hey darlin', after seeing your pictures, and reading your posts (such as the one above) there is NO WAY I can ever believe that you are are just 16. You look and think like someone who is at least 2 times that tender age.
First, let me thank you for calming me down more than just a wee bit. When I first started reading (scanning) this thread, I was beginning to get really awful flashbacks from VietNam. I was getting so enraged that not even large doses of whiskey were able to settle me down. Thanks again.
You caught me. Silverfuck is my real account and I am a 32 year old philosopher. You're right. There is no such thing as an intelligent 16 year old.
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#52
2008-10-24, 14:07 |
Evil_Tree
Regular
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
As for her husband coming back and trying to do shit to me, it's not going to happen. I would fuck his shit up, and I am armed to the teeth. So honestly, that is not a worry for me. I'd snap him like a twig, and I have more guns than I care to list, as well as 3 guard dogs and security cameras on my property. Infact, she told me today on the phone that she talked to him and he was like "Don't be hanging out with other guys, or I'll kill 'em" and she laughed her ass off, because she knows there is not a chance in hell he could do a damn thing to me. You're fucking delusional man, have you ever scrapped with anyone from the marines? I've never got in a full fledged fight with a marine, but judging by the ones I've sparred with I would not want to fuck around. Armed to the teeth or not, I bet this guy takes your weapon from you and kill you with it. There are marines coming back from Iraq taking guns from police officers, unless you have some serious combat training you're going to die...
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#53
2008-10-24, 16:09 |
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Regular
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Springfield, Ohio
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Only thing that bothers me about all this, is the way you feel about this guy Chris. You obviously don't like him, and you're going to feel like that because you like his wife so much. But to assume he's a pussy, that can't fight for his country because of being such a pussy, because he 'only' paints helicopters.. well thats just bad form man. Unless you go over to Iraq and talk to him, and she what he does - don't assume anything about him. This makes YOU the asshole.
And furthermore, put yourself in his shoes. He could really be totally in love with this girl. Knowing that she is there waiting for him could be the only thing giving him the strength to make it over there. And you come in, and not just shit all over their relationship - but shit all over him specifically? You are the douchebag in this situation, not him. I know you can't help how you feel, and I don't blame you for having sex with her or wanting to be with her. But HOW you act in this situation will define how well it turns out, and you're acting very badly right now.
With such a poor attitude, what happens when you fall for this girl, and she falls for you... and you, with such a low opinion of this guy convince her to leave him, and think its great. Okay, months later, he gets back to the states... he is crushed. And most likely, you won't even still be with this girl. Their marriage is ruined, their relationship is ruined, probably it will feel like to them that their whole loves are ruined. And YOU will be the cause of it.
Try to think about what's right, what's best for HER, not just how you feel about her and how much you want her.
And saying you will fuck the guy up if he comes back and is angry at you.. what is your fucking problem? HE HAS EVERY RIGHT to be angry at you. YOU have NO right to be angry at him. YOU are the one acting wrong here, not him.
And you think he is not worthy of her because he is a coward (Well we've already established you're an idiot for assuming that), and that he has no money. So you have a better right to love someone because you have more money than him? You are a fucking asshole man. Complete asshole. Money can't buy love, and if you think it can, then you will never have love, and if this girl thinks that you having more money than him makes you more worthy of love, then she is a whore.
If none of this gets through to you, at the very very least, why do you dislike the guy so much? Do you expect him not to feel hurt about this?
How would YOU feel? If you aren't willing to try to empathize with him, then you have no business being in any kind of relationship. Other peoples feelings DO matter. You SHOULD have reservations about doing this to someone else. If you don't, then there is something wrong with you.
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#54
2008-10-24, 18:38 |
ViperX202
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Yes he is.
The only thing you can really do now is keep doing what you have been doing, or back off totally. It sounds like the marriage isn't going to work anyways, so I would go for it if I were you.
owned
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#55
2008-10-24, 19:13 |
skullz88
Regular
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Seany Digital 17
You're an idiot. How the fuck is she a slut for following her heart? I am the second guy she has ever been with, dickwad. Meanwhile he has fucking cheated on her with atleast 20 fucking other girls and completely disrespected her. Why the fuck should she pass on her dream guy, for her asshole husband who fucked her over, and tied her down when she was 18?
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Cause hes the mother fucking king. |
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#56
2008-10-24, 19:20 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Hey darlin', after seeing your pictures, and reading your posts (such as the one above) there is NO WAY I can ever believe that you are are just 16. You look and think like someone who is at least 2 times that tender age.
I certainly do not look 32, thank you very much.
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#57
2008-10-25, 01:23 |
Affect
Regular
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Marines, do they paint helocopters? You may be in for some lost teeth and broken bones when he returns. She's younger than you, and obviously vulnerable. And based on what she's told you, manipulative. She would end up doing the exact same thing to you when she feels that spark again with someone else.
Find someone of high morals. Not cheating whores. They are fun to fuck, but not fun to fall in love with.
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#58
2008-10-25, 02:42 |
phmeworp
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
I certainly do not look 32, thank you very much.
Okay, in all fairness I probably deserve to be hammered a lot more than I have already been for that comment. But it was intended to be a compliment that got a bit hyperbolic and was directed more towards your intellectual and emotional maturity than to any physical appearance.
My sincere apology to you for any insult you may have inferred.
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#59
2008-10-25, 04:03 |
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
we smoked some pot,
Marry her and mate.
Please.
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#60
2008-10-25, 06:04 |
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Australia, south east
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Boo fucking hoo, he paints stuff in iraq. So fucking what? You think thats patriotic? To do a cowardly job in a war most people agree is completely immoral and illegal. Yeah, hes a hero, taking no risk and supporting the deaths of millions. AND he cheats on his wife. Ya, what an awesome guy. He should get a metal or something.
So first you say that he isnt a hero because he isnt engaged in a combat role, but now you say that the war is immoral and illegal...
So if he were actually engaging in this "immoral", "illegal" war, would he be your definition of a 'hero' and thus worthy to not have his wife woo'd by some blind idiot behind his back?
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#61
2008-10-25, 16:23 |
Climbing_The_Bell_Tower
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
Even if that dumb little slut divorces her hard working husband for some immature loser who sits on his ass smoking grass all day (O.P.), what makes him think she will treat him any different? How does he know she won't go tell another guy how bad OP treats her and cheats on him too?
Once a woman cheats on her husband, she'll cheat on anyone. All she had to do is file a divorce suit and all would've been well, she could fuck this mentally retarded intellectual 15 year old all day and night. But of course, she's not stupid, she wants her cake and to eat it too.
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#62
2008-10-25, 18:13 |
callumpimp
Regular
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Re: Falling in love with a married woman
To be honest after reading everything that has been said it's quite clear to me what you should do.
Next time you see her, bring a ring and flowers, knock on the door and when she answers get on one knee and then give her the flowers smiling. Stand up slowly and nut her in the face, put her in an arm lock and take your flowers back and beat the shit out of them with her.....yes, you read that correctly....beat the shit out of the flowers, with her. Now this is where the ring comes in handy, piss on her limp body and then put the ring on yourself, procede to enter the house and halp yourself to her cheese supply.
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Falling in love with a married woman
