A big one is that she's one of the most stubborn people I've met. Right now this is only somewhat of a problem, but it will really only get to be a worse problem as times goes on. She never really compromises. That basically means if she does something that really really bothers me, I basically have to get used to it, rather than her making any change.

im also in the same boat. i've been with my girlfriend for almost a year, like 11 months and something just doesnt feel right now. she is stubborn, and i used to just go with the flow, but now its bugging me. i feel like im the only one working at this relationship and that she doesnt do anything. i really love her and i dont want to end it, but i might have to. it really sucks.

let us know what you decide to do though.

If she will let you stick it in her butt, keep on keeping on.

If not, you should never have gone out with her in the first place.

The only honest answer I can give at this point:

If you're asking yourself this question, then it's probably time.

It might take a while before it gets to the point where you're actually comfortable ending it (by all means, ride the wave until it breaks of course), but if these feelings have started to creep into your head they will not go away. With some relationships you make a quick break but a lot of times it's like this. You'll get fed up with things one too many times and you might take a break or you might just break it off entirely. Many times if the relationship was very serious it won't stick the first time. Especially if neither of you have much self control, you may end up getting back together numerous times before whatever problems you were having eventually prove insurmountable.

The only good thing that can taken from this is that this experience will hopefully be one that you will remember and learn from.

Things get bad and or sour.

"You'll get fed up with things one too many times and you might take a break or you might just break it off entirely. " As exo said, happened to me. Too much shit was going on in my life along with her nonsense..that was it...stomped the fire completely out.

Eh, I disagree. I really think if she knew how serious I was about this she would actually change. Like, I'm pretty sure if I broke up with her she'd realize everything and be really sorry she hadn't actually made any effort. But by then it would be too late... So I really need to find a good way to get the message across as plainly as possible.

I think this is like a defining time. Clearly we're not perfect for each other, but I believe that most relationships can be great if you just compromise a little to make the other person happy. I mean, there are some relationships that will crash and burn no matter how much you try, but I'm pretty sure this isn't one of those. We have so much fun sometimes and I really love her..but some things are just unbearable.

Sure a lot of problems can be solved. The point is, deep down some part of you wants it to be over or you wouldn't be considering it. You may not be ready to end it yet, and who knows, maybe you never will, but I can only say from experience that generally you don't think about throwing in the towel unless some part of you wants that. And usually that part of you doesn't go away. It generally does the opposite.

lol, sorry to be so disagreeable...but I think if anything deep down is the part of me that wants to stay with her, and my rational side is the one that's saying GTFO CQT!

And would you say that you've changed a lot for her?

So much...

lol, sorry to be so disagreeable...but I think if anything deep down is the part of me that wants to stay with her, and my rational side is the one that's saying GTFO CQT!

Well I certainly wish you the best in it. I only say what I do because your situation sounds so much like what I myself would've said during a certain relationship not long before it ended. As they say, some things cannot be taught, but they can be learned. You may find out for yourself what I speak of. If not, kudos, you'll have done better than most of us.

So much...

Yes? Too much?

When you start asking yourself that question, I would say that time.

I've decided to stay with her for the time being, due to some other things. I think it's going to be alright :).

Probably when you start considering it frequently.

Until next week, at least.

They ask a similar question in the movie The Mexican. When is enough enough if you really truly deeply love them?

Never.

(side note: I had a relationship where every time we broke it off and got back together, it was better than before. This however, is not the norm)

I think this get to everybody after a certain period of time, starting around 5 months and up. It got to me after 9 months. And I'm seriously considering it.

I always thought that if two people love eachother, they can't be too clingy. But ignoring me in school and always telling me that she has to study and has no time seems like fucking bullshit. 2-3 hours together per week. Consider the fact that we go to the same school and live 15 minutes away from each other. Yet, she has no time. On top of that, despite having no time, she signed to some school projects and also dance classes. Awesome.
/rant

So yeah. Words usually mean shit. Actions speak louder than words. What ever you call it, but this is my first girlfriend (I'm 18). I always try my hardest because I saw too many fucked up relationships with out love. My parents got divorced.

So, over these 9 months I haven't touched another women, sacrificed my grades, money, health and time for her. And now she doesn't have time. And I feel like I just got shat on. And now I started doubting is it really love etc. And if it isn't then I need not to try so hard and waste my resources.

Not enough vespene gas.

It doesn't sound like she truly loves you. I started feeling bad around the point where you said she only sees you 2-3 hours per week. To justify being in a shitty relationship, you should both be madly in love yet still slightly incompatible. That's romantic. Your missus not having time for you is just sad. I'm a paranoid man, I'd contemplate if she was cheating on me.

I'm paranoid too, but I try to keep those thoughts on a leash, because there's a difference between worrying and worrying all the time, having the worst nightmares and so on. But still, I always contemplate about the cheating part.

I've got some life problems (family related) and she said she's willing to help me out in whatever way she could, meaning she could give me food and roof if need be.

On the other hand I feel that if I stop trying/doing my very best, she's just gonna leave. And now I can't separate paranoid thoughts on her not really loving me from real thoughts about her getting into the 'hey, it's been nine months, time to start taking you for granted and if need be, distancing myself. Yeah, I luv you, but I need more room'.

Not enough minerals. And thanks for the reply.

sounds a lot like me and my girlfriend a few weeks ago. she had all these dance classes, had to study, basically same thing as yours. we've been going out for 11 months and i was really thinking about ending it (hence my earlier post on this thread).

but then i talked to her and told her i didnt get to see her enough and that i wanted to see her more.she totally understood. so we are good for the moment.

it might work for you. maybe let her know you want to see her more, and that you want this relationship to work. im not making any promises as to how well this will work, cause your girl might react different than mine. anyways, hope that helps.

i am going to be completely honest here. i have not read this thread.

here is my advice with relationships.

if you think it is time to end it, than chances are it is time to end it.

life is far to short to spend it with someone who makes you uncomfortable

Ha, what about every such event being slightly personal and thus they cannot all be generalized? What about the ups and downs in a relationship? What about perspective factors like past-related suffering or just plain paranoia?

And Stephan_Jenkins, good to hear that. I actually had a talk with her... a couple of times. That was back in september, when things were the worst and it did get better, but not all the way. Maybe I'm just too demanding of her? I ask myself that and I can't answer it.

It fucks the hell out of me when we see each other in school and I can't even hug her 'cause she's going the other way with some of her friends and can't spare a minute for hug or something. Not once or twice but most of the time.

Now, this puts me into the hating, anxious, paranoid kind of humor and it's also effecting our relationship a bit.

The question I now ask: This, being my first ever relationship, my head filled with beautiful ideas, hoping for being with this gal for long, trying my very best all the time... is it even worth it? How am I to be sure things don't repeat themselves in the future? I'm too inexperienced, always hoping for the better, always waiting... Maybe a better option would be to bail out, fuck around, love some and only after gaining some experience gaining that one-and-only girl? But then, doubts come about her being the one and me wasting it all.

My girlfriends mom just killed herself, and lately shes been treating me like shit. There was a first attempt from her mom about three weeks ago, and shes pretty much been treating me like shit since then. Before her mom's first attempt, things have been going downhill too, anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I fucking love this girl to death, and we've had a lot of amazing times together, but I can't help the feeling that maybe she needs a new start to help her get over this, but at the same time, she tells me she can't get through this without me. But she treats me like complete shit (things like asking other guys to go swimming with her and then lying about it, going over to her exes instead of spending time with me).

I know shes acting out right now because she just lost her mother, and I have been doing absolutely anything and everything I can for her to help her regardless of how she is treating me. I just don't know when and where to draw the line and end it because it might be the best thing for both of us, or to be there for her no matter how terrible the relationship has become (and probably will be for a long time) for me.

Any input?

(Shes just about 15 and I'm 16)

Her mom killed herself about a week ago, and I was the one who saved her life the first time she tried, just adding info.

if you saved her life the first time, maybe shes mad you couldnt do it this time. i know it may sound dumb, and she would never consciously admit it, but maybe she feels like its your fault for not saving her. just an idea...

if you saved her life the first time, maybe shes mad you couldnt do it this time. i know it may sound dumb, and she would never consciously admit it, but maybe she feels like its your fault for not saving her. just an idea...

...and if that's the case, dump the messed up slut. She's allowed to go swimming with guys, and hang out with exes...but she's NOT allowed to lie about it. She's testing the boundaries of what she's allowed to get away with with you. She likes the emotional support you provide her, but it sounds like that's it. Look at how messed up she is now. Multiply that, then multiply that again, and that's just a fraction of what she's going to become. She'll become a non-discriminative slut.