Ok, I'm going out with a girl. I love her. She's funny and really cute and we have lots of fun together. We've been going out for more than a year now.

Something that's always been a huge problem has been this annoying little pattern in our fights: She'll do something hurtful/annoying/mean/whatever. I'll get angry, or hurt, and be yelling or talking to her about it. At first, she's usually apologetic. But what almost always happens is that it was such a bad thing that she did that I can't just shut up about it within 2 minutes. So she essentially "gives up" I guess, and decides that she's had the "fair amount" or something of being yelled at. And when this happens, all hell gets loose. She gets INSANELY angry, and even when I've finally cooled down, she'll still be angry. Then, it's turned into me apologizing to her and trying to cool her down, which is stupid...

To me, the way it should work (and what I (and I'm pretty sure most rational people) do) is this: If you start shit, you're responsible for whatever comes your way because of it. You threw the first stone, that means you have to take up the ass whatever (I mean, withing reasonable bounds) the other person gives you. You broke the peace, that means it's up to YOU to fix it. That's what I believe anyway.

So, I'm not sure what to do. It WILL happen in relationships or in general that one person will piss off another. That's just totally unpreventable and thinking otherwise is retarded. But what shouldn't happen is what's happening here. I mean, I'm fairly sure I'm right about this, that she's doing something wrong...right? So I really like her and want to stay with her. But she's really reaaaaaaally stubborn. We had a big fight before and we both said we'd change our ways, change some things that had been bothering the other person. I've told her this is a problem, something I would really love if she tried changing. And I'm pretty sure that this will haunt her in any relationship she's ever in in the future. I don't want to break up with her, but this is a big repeating problem. What should I do?

Is she on the pill? That can be such a fucking issue sometimes!

Nah...just a personality defect...

You threw the first stone, that means you have to take up the ass whatever (I mean, withing reasonable bounds) the other person gives you. You broke the peace, that means it's up to YOU to fix it. That's what I believe anyway.

So your problem is that she won't do anal?

OP:

there's nothing you can do about it (you said that you talked about this and she's still not changing her way, its means it's the way she is and ppl dont change). So, put up, or break up.

If you start shit, you're responsible for whatever comes your way because of it. You threw the first stone, that means you have to take up the ass whatever the other person gives you. You broke the peace, that means it's up to YOU to fix it. That's what I believe anyway.

You broke the peace. You're the one who is getting butthurt over things that she probably didn't mean to hurt by. So take your shit, she's defending herself because she probably didn't know it was hurting you.

Unless, she was doing it intentionally.

You broke the peace. You're the one who is getting butthurt over things that she probably didn't mean to hurt by. So take your shit, she's defending herself because she probably didn't know it was hurting you.

Unless, she was doing it intentionally.

Not really... I totally admit that sometimes I overreact or I'm too sensitive, but there are obviously legit times when she does something that anyone would be hurt/offended/blahblah at. In which case, it's her starting the thing.

heres the deal, she doesn't give a fuck its hurting you and she knows it will but blocks out that fact. When you tell her off, she LETS you to begin with to humor you hoping you will just shut the fuck up. You get past a certain point and she can't take it so she puts you in your place and then you act like her bitch and say sorry.


How to prevent this:

Next time she tries getting angry at you, get even more angry and punch a wall or something next to her face and tell her to shut the fuck up. Basically SCARE her it will work and you'll become her jerk off bf who she loves but treats her badly but secretly shes LOVING IT!!


I saw this happen once before, my friend was telling off his gf and she laughed at him....his face CHANGED, he stood up and punched the metal bunk bed she was sitting on 3 times REALLY fast and then started shouting at her lol it was scary as fuck

She doesn't care about you, the relationship is stale and dying, break up with her before she tells you she's nailing your best friend.

So your problem is that she won't do anal?

Advice on this? lol

Talk to her again about it, give her one more chance and tell her this. If you've told her already and it's still happening, you should'nt have to put up with it. Only if it's really really annoying you, if it's just an annoyance just put up with it, you love her - right.

Advice on this? lol

Introduce her to xilikeanal00 and make sure they become friends.

Something that's always been a huge problem has been this annoying little pattern in our fights: She'll do something hurtful/annoying/mean/whatever. I'll get angry, or hurt, and be yelling or talking to her about it. At first, she's usually apologetic. But what almost always happens is that it was such a bad thing that she did that I can't just shut up about it within 2 minutes. So she essentially "gives up" I guess, and decides that she's had the "fair amount" or something of being yelled at. And when this happens, all hell gets loose. She gets INSANELY angry, and even when I've finally cooled down, she'll still be angry. Then, it's turned into me apologizing to her and trying to cool her down, which is stupid...

To me, the way it should work (and what I (and I'm pretty sure most rational people) do) is this: If you start shit, you're responsible for whatever comes your way because of it. You threw the first stone, that means you have to take up the ass whatever (I mean, withing reasonable bounds) the other person gives you. You broke the peace, that means it's up to YOU to fix it. That's what I believe anyway.

I feel you, but I've learned to avoid taking out the scorecard of "who did what when" in relationships.

I'm not sure how bad the stuff she does is because you didn't give any examples, but keep in mind a few minutes of someone non-stop yelling at you can be hard to take. Maybe next time try walking outside to cool off after you let yourself say one or two things. She'll be forced to think about why what she did hurt you, and won't be able to get mad at you for your response.

Leaving the room to cool off is more likely to make someone remorseful than yelling anyhow.