Hey,

I need some help with a situation I never thought I would ever experience. So my story begins when I had sex for my first time around 16 with my girlfriend. I lost my virginity to her (she had no clue) but I felt I could play it along because I felt I knew enough to handle the situation.

Well, I did handle the situation but the problem was when we got into bed, I sort of had a problem getting "up" no matter what I would do or think of and even looking at her naked ....did nothing. So I put on her on top and it eventually worked out but I was pretty mortified. It took me the longest time to actually get fully hard inside of her I did pretty damn good I think in making her feel good.

Anyways, we ended up breaking up because she had to move to another state very shortly after that point. We never got another chance to have sex. I then from that point on dated around but never really had sex again (not for the lack of trying) just the opportunity never came up.

Now, I am 19 and finally I got my chance again to have sex. Well, we basically got drunk at my house and then moved into a room with a bed and she gave me a back rub and stuff and it was all pretty good. I was getting really excited while she was giving me the back rub. We have been friends for awhile she is actually a friend of the family and she is like 27. So finally we got to touching and kissing and things turned into her asking me if I wanted to fuck her ...and of course I said yes.

So, we get ready and I ask her if she wants to be on top because I like that position personally to start in since I really have only experienced that position the most. So we get down to the point of me putting it inside of her ...and I fucking for the life of me could not get hard. I did everything in my power to try and I could not. This has now happened twice and I am sick of it .....I shouldn't have problems being this young.

Here is some facts after searching some about the issue...

I watch a lot of porn and of course do my thing there ...and I have no problem then. I have an incredible sex drive and I basically want it on a 24/7 basis. But when it gets down to it I falter and I know I could be fucking dynamite in bed If I didn't have this problem. My biggest concern in getting this sorted out fast is because my now (girlfriend) will be visiting me soon and sex will definitely be available and I really CARE for this girl a lot and I don't want to go through this same thing again, I want to give her a good time and make her happy.

Any suggestions, help, whatever would be greatly appreciated. I have been around on Totse for awhile mostly a reader and I would really appreciate serious answers and not smart ass remarks.

Thanks.

Don't Jack off a few days prior to the time you will be fucking her, and if you still cant get it up you could possibly try That Enzyte male enhancement shit you can get Over the Counter at Walmart.

Repeat after me:

1.There is nothing wrong with you. You don't masturbate too much, you're not impotent, you're physically fine. You're just nervous, and it's totally normal and manageable
2. Relax. Any erection problems you're having are a result of nerves. If you're turned on and all, totally ready to go, except that your body won't co-operate, chances are you're just nervous because you haven't had sex a lot and you're wanting to do it righ
3. Worrying about getting it up is going to make it worse. There is nothing to worry about. You're having sex with your girlfriend, who you care about and who cares about you. Sex is never awesome the first few times; but you'll get there together
4. If just pausing to relax and realize that you have nothing to worry about (because you're going to be a damned good lover) isn't enough, then have a bit to drink. Not enough to get drunk, or even tipsy. Just enough to loosen your nerves a bit, to not feel self-conscious or have expectations of yourself, and to just enjoy yourself

The first few times my boyfriend and I had sex (we were both virgins) he couldn't get hard at all. He'd be rock solid until the actual 'lets have sex' motion, and he'd go totally limp. I didn't judge, he didn't apologize; we just put it off for a better time. And if your girlfriend is worth anything, it'll be no big deal.

Less porn
Less masturbation
Less alcohol
Less thinking.

get a girlfriend that you can trust. talk to her about and and tadaa there will be a standing ovation.

sex isnt a task that should be forced but just something that should happen. as soon as you stop trying it will happen.

its 100% mental

You should be modding this place now that yoyo is gone.

Listen to this girl.

When I first started doing anything sexual, I was nervous as shit. I'm a particularly self-conscious person, and when you're sat naked with someone else you begin to wonder what they think (At least I did). My problem was that I couldn't FINISH.

Should learn to practice what I preach like but, yeah... Relax, play it cool and know that you're not being judged if she loves you :).

Another one for relaxing and not thinking about it, and dont think that you trying not to think about it. Also do it in the dark, that way you won't have to look at your penis and see if its hard or not.
But yeah, dont think about it, its normal.

put it in her mouth. that works for sure.

pills :)

My vote goes to foreplay. Nothing is more arousing that making out and out of nowhere her silky soft hand gently grabs your dick.

amazing

You should be modding this place now that yoyo is gone.

wtf? why is yoyo gone

two hours before your gonna do anything, take an ecstasy tablet. You will feel even more in love and will have no problems getting and staying hard. This always works!

Thanks a lot for the replies.

Also, I had a question about missionary position isn't that supposed to be like the easiest position? Evey time I have tried and I guess my problem I originally stated has a lot to do with this ...but it seems to be really hard to get inside of the girl from that position.

Also, what are some of the most intensive positions in sex for a girl to feel the most of it? I am sure it varies but I would love to hear some advice and experiences.

Doggy.

Millions years of evolution can't be wrong, right?

wtf? why is yoyo gone

She's got real life now basically.

The same thing happened to me :(
But i'm sure once I do it the first time, it'll be fine from there on.

Your pressuring yourself, so your first 2 sexual encounters it was hard for you to get up, with years inbetween each. No worries man it happened to me before, it will pass. Just dont think about it, it will happen.

She's got real life now basically.

didnt you used to call me chink?

didnt you used to call me chink?

I have you on ignore (although recently your posts have become slightly better, so I've been reading some of them) - but no, I am more imaginative than that when I call people names. :p

Man I had the same problem for the longest time. It even still happens every once in a while. Heres a few things I figured out.

Have a healthy lifestyle. Eat right, sleep right, be happy. Oh and exercise, that helps alot. Foreplay is a must because if you just try to jump right into the sex then and your not turned on then you probably wont get it up. Another thing, you cant think about it too much you just have to let it flow. And I dont mean TRYING not to think about it, AKA thinking about not thinking about it. You just have to clear your mind and tell the bitch to put it in her mouth and lay back and shut your eyes and let that sonofabitch get hard in her mouth so you can fuck her relentlessly for hours. Then murder.

You were probably fiddeling with eachother for a while befor the intercourse..

if all other suggestions fail, try viagra or extenze or whatever pill you prefer.

Wow, those are 2 totally different things. Viagra is for ED and is for real. Extenze is another bullshit product that supposedly makes your wang bigger, full of shit chinese herbals. If OP really has ED from too much porn, then go Viagra, not extenze.

I remember in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm a former pornstar said a little hot sauce in the ass makes you rock hard for hours, lol. Never tried it, but hey you could be the guinea pig if you want.

You guys are awesome!

Thank you kindly for the helpful posts. I know for a fact that some of this has to be correct because even when I was kissing her and touching her I started to breathe so fucking hard and my heart was pounding and that normally means I am really nervous right? I couldn't even catch my breathe hardly.

Also, what is ED? I read that because porn is used as a prop that possibly the fact I used porn for so long to satisfy myself that it could be affecting me now. Because you are comfortable and alone when you are watching porn but when you are with a girl and about to do it ....it is so much different.

No, its normal that you have that problem, so just relax, it has nothing to do with porn.

And you dont really want to know what ED is.

Also update us when the job is done, i am not going to sleep untill i know that everything is ok with your penis.

Oh yeah, forgot to add this, you are the man.

First and foremost. RELAX. A big part of the problem here is you are so worried about getting it up and doing it right that you are causing yourself needless stress. Stressing yourself out is the main culprit here. 2ndly - eliminate the alcohol. Ever here of Whiskey Dick? Same goes w/ any alcohol. It's an inhibitor and isn't helping your cause here....

That's about it, my friend... try to relax, let things go as they will, dont try to think about it or force it and leave the drinks for afterwards. Good luck.

Yep. I went home last night with a girl I'd slept with previously, and she wanted to fuck, but I was so drunk I knew I couldn't even try to get it up. Was hilarious.

You guys are awesome!

Also, what is ED?

u don't know what ED is? if im not mistaken, its when u can't get it up. that suks man if u have that

cut the porn man , it fucks you up sexually

u don't know what ED is? if im not mistaken, its when u can't get it up. that suks man if u have that

Well, I don't have that then. I can get it up just fine even pre-sex foreplay but when I get to sex and actually performing that is when It dies....

Thanks for all the concern and help guys really and truly it means a lot! Thanks! Hopefully I will know more of how the next episode goes soon :)

try some pills then if nothing else works

you might be gay

How does one relax in a situation when they're extremely nervous? I've had the exact same problem as the OP, it's happened a couple times and now I'm too freaked to even try to get laid for fear of it...not working.

I am not sure how I am going to handle it this time. I will just try to be calm and move slowly into foreplay building myself up and then have a good foreplay session to the point I cant handle it anymore and then try. But I feel you man, this is really scary because its fucking humiliating and at first I even felt like I was less of a man because of it. Although, after reading and looking around and listening to the good people of totse it seems to be pretty common.

Just take a seat, and have a cup of tea.

or smoke some bud before you get it on