Alright so I'm pretty new to poetry, started getting into it a little bit, reading a good amount here and there, and so here's something I wrote. Pretty much just looking to see if anyone thinks it's any good and/or some constructive criticism.

Science! Oh how you have failed me.

Your medicine for the sick,
made weapons of war,
Your guns for the weak,
Made thieves hunger for more.
With your comforting tone,
and your sympathetic eyes,
you bestowed peace in me,
and filled me up with lies.

And now to you science,
All I have left to ask,
Is for the thing I need most,
I need my ignorance back.
Knowledge is power,
this is very true.
But I no longer want it,
I'm giving it back to you.

I'm sick of intelligence,
It's only brought me pain.
I'm sick of technology,
It left me nothing to gain.
I don't want it,
You can have it all,
Your guns, your drugs,
Along with your strip mall.

I no longer want to know
the problems of the everday.
Please, oh please science,
Make it go away.
Get rid of the monster
Underneath my bed,
Free me from the voices
From inside my head.

And so Science
I ask you for the last time,
Can you please free me,
I want my life to be mine.

good, in mi opinion. there are parts where it gets choppy, but less then half of mi writing flows well, so i have no right to correct you . good ideas, good rhymes, even though it seems like it becomes repeditive in a boring way sometimes. all in all, i like it . post more, i guess.

Thanks. I'm sure as I write more and read more poetry, my 'style' will get at least a little bit better. I'll post as I write.
And this:

Not sure what that's supposed to be mean, but whatever.

EDIT: Oh, unless you're saying I'm pissed? More disappointed then pissed, haha.

So by your you actually meant your and not you're in :

?

It makes equal sense, doesn't it?

No he was right with your. You're is the contraction of 'you are', and as you can see, if you replace your with you are (or you're) it really doesn't make sense, except in a metaphorical way, and even then it doesn't carry on to the next line. 'Your' is the possessive pronoun in this case and it used correctly.

On topic: I like the concept you put forward in the poem, but I think you could refine some of the lines to make them more powerful. With a bit of editing I reckon it'd be good. The first stanza is good, but it sort of loses it through the rest, and maybe the length is something you'd want to revise. It's just my opinion though, it's your poem after all.

Thanks, I'm glad that people are able to understand the basic idea of my poem. But it can have a few different meanings and doesn't just have to represent 'science', it could represent anything you put your trust in. And no, I don't mind criticism at all, as long as someone's not being an asshole about it. It's a lot harder to get better at something if no one is telling you what you're doing wrong. And when you say length, do you mean make it longer and more in depth, or shorter and more to the point? Do you think it's a little too repetitive? I'll have to look over it. I'll re-submit it when I think it's better.

Yeah I know what it's like with criticism, half the time people have no idea what they're talking about and half the time they're assholes. I would make it shorter and more to the point yeah, I think that some of the stuff you could've cut out and even if it wasn't direct repetition it was fairly close to what you'd already said. But keep it up man, I'll be interested to see the revised version.

You are medicine for the sick?

- ♫.i.b.y.v.n.t.h.♫