hello totse. i generally hate posting in this forum, because i hate asking for relationship advice. in this situation though i feel like i need it.

so me and this girl have been dating for quite some time. i love her and she loves me. the only problem is that i smoke pot, and she feels like it is very morally wrong, and she says that it dulls me and whatnot, although i disagree. she has said that she doesnt mind being with me while i smoke pot, but we agreed that i would let her know when i smoked (not sure why).

ofcourse, i forgot to tell her one night when i smoked pot, and so now she thinks im a liar, and she thinks that i value pot over her, which isnt true. even though i dont value pot over her, i still value my personal freedom, and i dont want to make a huge commitment in this relationship, but she has basically given me the choice of smoking pot or being with her.

i know this is a very personal desicion, but i am honestly torn right down the middle on this topic. i love her. but i also love my freedom to live my life as i please. i think that if i chose to be single that would be like me choosing a drug over a person, which is an asshole move, but its more than a drug vs. a person, you know? its like freedom vs. commitment.

basically what im asking is, would it make me a horrible person if i chose freedom?

You can't do all the shit you usually would/could do when you're in a relationship. Compromise.
So pick one or the other.

She has a moral problem with pot? Meh, fuck her. Smoke her out, tell her it'll loose up her asshole. 'Cuz right now it appears to be tighter than a snare drum.

And no, it wouldn't make you a bad person if you chose "freedom". It's not destroying your relationship. If she can't respect your right to make your own choices then, well, that's her flaw.

Lol I like the snare drum reference.

To the OP though it sounds like you could do a lot better than that girl, you need to be more selective. Choose freedom, and make sure you tell her why if she asks, if you really love her you'd make sure she grows from this experience.

You are torn down the middle between pot and her? You don't love her, stop kidding yourself. Bottom line is, if you want to carry on and she doesn't want you to, it's going to end sometime. It's inevitable, so you might as well do it yourself.

A compromise can be made. I guarantee this.

*edit*

If you were IVing drugs on a regular basis, spending more than you earned, getting involved in dangerous people, were abusing her, etc because of your drugs, ultimatums are allowed. Even if you were using harder drugs for recreation, she has a right to get pissed. There are a few things to take into account:

Were you smoking pot before you got together with her, and did she know this before getting involved with you? If your answer is yes, then she has no right to do what she's doing. If your answer is no, you've pulled a dick move and should reconsider your values.

Compromise man. Tell her you'll smoke less, and wont be around her while stoned. Tell her that she has to understand if she can pull this type of controlling shit, she can now expect it from you as well. Then kick her in the cunt. I hate chicks like this.

kick her in the cunt

Yesssssss

Ya know, she's making you choose between the ganja and her. Would someone who loved you make you make that decision? No, because weed helps more than it hurts, it's a blessing and not a curse. Anyone who wants to take that away from you is LYING to you and themselves. Give that bitch a j, tell her exactly what you said to us, it's your personal freedom. Be as irrational as her, tell her that instead of using tampons she needs to use pads. (Unless if she uses pads, then switch it around.) Both arguments are completely invalid, she's overstepped her boundary, she's off her fucking rocker.

Ya know, she's making you choose between the ganja and her. Would someone who loved you make you make that decision? No, because weed helps more than it hurts, it's a blessing and not a curse. Anyone who wants to take that away from you is LYING to you and themselves.

uhm no offense, but, HUH?

Maybe to that girl weed hurts more than it helps? I am not saying that she's right, just saying that she might have a different perspective than you do.

Also, why would it be lying if she wanted to take marijuna from him? Wouldn't it just be...taking marijuna from him?

Would someone who loved you make you make that decision?

Works both ways, would someone made to choose between weed and the girl they loved even need to think twice? Clearly it's not gonna last, so just cut and run.

You're such a dumb fuck. Any one who's been on totse long enough knows I love drugs, despite that, I can't deny that weed IS harmful. It IS habit forming. It DOES make people unproductive (compared to them sober). It DOES promote crime.

Don't spew shit from that dick hole on your face. Keep it for sucking dicks.

Oh and if she loved him she wouldn't give him an ultimatum for something that minor, how ever, if he loved her, he would realize that this hurts her and he'd stop with out her even having to ask.

Cunt.

You're such a dumb fuck. Any one who's been on totse long enough knows I love drugs,

maybe she doesn't care to find out what you love




Don't spew shit from that dick hole on your face. Keep it for sucking dicks.

why do you get aggressive against an innocent person, a female at that? how ungentlemanly

why do you get aggressive against an innocent person, a female at that? how ungentlemanly

Why do you ask stupid questions? How cuntish!

wow mr. benfield, it sounds like you just put a very difficult decision into a better perspective... i mean when i was younger i was in this same position, and when i chose freedom, i was ridiculed as a druggie by this bitch and her "circle" of friends. but even then, i still had my bowl to kick back on :)

what i think you should do is tell her this ^(with some TLC), and if she doesnt accept the fact that you choose not to accept the slander that the government throws out there, then fuck it. you'd be in the same place as you are now except you wouldn't have to call your beez before you spark that blunt.

You're such a dumb fuck. Any one who's been on totse long enough knows I love drugs, despite that, I can't deny that weed IS harmful. It IS habit forming. It DOES make people unproductive (compared to them sober). It DOES promote crime.

Don't spew shit from that dick hole on your face. Keep it for sucking dicks.

One, habit forming isn't considered harmful, keeps your mind off of other damaging subjects. Two, with any self control there's an ability to keep your shit to yourself, get your work done and stay out of trouble. MY bad if you lack that control, but it doesn't make me a dumb fuck, considering I am entitled to my own input about my own experiences. I wouldn't trade weed for some dude who was asking me to quit something that in my experience has helped me out a lot. It comes down to, what will get me through these tough times? This guy or weed? And what happens when this guy gives me a tough time, who will help me then? Him or weed? Weed.



Oh and if she loved him she wouldn't give him an ultimatum for something that minor, how ever, if he loved her, he would realize that this hurts her and he'd stop with out her even having to ask.

Cunt.

It doesn't work that way. You can't put the fact that he should quit for someone he loves before the fact that she's asking him to quit.

Would someone who loved you ask you to stop? No, unless if they could see that it was hurting you, in this case I don't think it is. So why should you give that up for someone YOU love, when them making the decision that you should quit is almost always an indicator of them not loving you.

One, habit forming isn't considered harmful, keeps your mind off of other damaging subjects.

Stopped reading here. Your logic is flawed. Your perception of reality is skewed. Your reasoning abilities are as gay as a tree of dicks. GTFO.

Stopped reading here.

I don't feel the need to reason with someone who can't even TRY to see someone else's point of view.

I hate agreeing with Arquin, but this^ to a fucking tee.
I personally don't smoke but I've dated a lot of stoners and it's never been a problem. I hate when people try to manipulate their significant others for no fucking reason. It's just abusive controlling shit.
You should dump her and get a girlfriend who isn't a prudish bitch.