I'm afraid to tell my boyfriend how many people i've slept with because he'll probably leave me.
I want to make us last as long as I can but I know thats eventually going to be the reason we break up.

I'm clean and not loose or anything, we've both had sex already and found it enjoyable.
We've been dating 2 years, so i've obvIiously changed my ways. I've had sex with about 20 people and i feel SO GUILTY.


how would you feel if this were your girlfriend? honestly.

it would really depend on the number ive been with i think.
if the number is much greater than mine, i would find it a bit of a turn off...
also, how close i was with said female would be a factor.

I think his number is very low.. like 2
But of course i will never ask because that would result in him asking me MY number.

We're very close. we live together and discuss marriage a lot. I think that at this point nothing I say could change the way he feels about me... but
I would feel terrible if he married me and found out the truth afterwards. I could only imagine how trapped and betrayed he would feel.
I should add though that I have never lied about it, he's just never asked.

Maybe it's just not important to him? Maybe it's not a big deal at all. I just have a super strong set of morals and I feel terrible

Why? Do feel an urge to tell every little thing that you know & have done?

Why? Do you want a Confessor? Convert to Catholicism or get a Shrink. Anybody's partner shouldn't fulfill those positions, neither is a boy one of your girlfriends who might relish the gossip potential.

"But I have to tell him about all my other partners & every little detail of our nights of passion!" Maybe not.

I just feel like I'm hiding something terrible. I'm such a tell all person that I feel bad hiding this, should I just let it go?

Why? Is nothing really "real" unless you share it? Will it make you feel better if you phone up the copshop & tell them every little thing that you've done wrong since you were 6? Have you made time to tell your mother those same things, plus those things you did on the sly that wouldn't have met her approval?

Have you confessed to all your teachers too?

I can picture you being honest with your own 6 year old..."Honey, let me tell you every little detail of what mommy & daddy did last night in the sack..." What? You wouldn't? Why would you hide & lie to your own child? Shameful is what it is!

And your mother: does she know if you swallow or not? "Ma? I just thought I'd let you know that I've never swallowed. Sure...I've sucked a lot of the cockzors? I have my standards though!"

I never found discussing things like this a problem with girls in the past, I mean sex is just sex, right? But then, after experiencing very deep feelings for a girl, I was really bothered when I found out about her sexual past and it was nowhere near 20. Ignorance is bliss. Don't tell him, there's no point. All it will do is make him think about the 20 other dicks that have been in his girlfriend. I'm not trying to be a prick or anything, it's just the way he will think. Let the calm water remain that way, don't ripple it.

In saying that, I'm only 22 and maybe I'm just too young to be mature about something like that. I just know that it would certainly bother me.

EDIT: I have an unfavourable number of partners in my past as well, so I know what you're feeling in terms of 'hiding something'. The way I see it is... It will cause more harm than good... So why would you? It's more about protecting their feelings than your own, so it's not really the work of a prick. If you don't sleep around any more then it won't be an issue. Just roll with the smooth sailing, darl.

In my opinion.

how old are you?

to be honest, about 20 sounds like "closer to 30 or 40."

if theres a big difference in numbers, its likely to cause problems. age may negate this, but it might not.

it also sounds as if youve lied your ass off about the true number of cocks in you to him. true or not?

oh shit, i was scrolling up to go elsewhere and i saw you say his number was 2, or so you think.

id be getting worried too, if i were you.

look, theres nothing wrong with you fucking. theres nothing wrong with fucking alot. but this has blowup written all over it.

thing is, youre very far into this to be getting around to a question like this. this shit shouldve been out within a year, for gods sake.

youve lied to him about it, havent you?

look, you cant keep something like this from him, because it will come up at some point. if youve lied about it, its just that much worse. you have backed yourself into a corner here.

i figure a big thing thats creeping up in your mind is that hes going to feel inadequate, and that he hasnt fucked around enough and had a good enough time. hes going to get jealous of the stories hell have in his mind, and hell wonder if theres not something out there more exciting for him too. your past will make him wonder about his past and future.

you keep the lie up, or whatever, and the longer it goes the more hell feel fucked over and deceived.

its just a matter of time.

you might as well lay it on the table, and see where its going to go. otherwise, its a liability.

Reason you've never told him: Because you're kinda dirty and know he'd be hurt.

Reason he's never asked: Because he knows you're kinda dirty and ignorance is bliss.

Don't worry, you're safe. He knows you've fucked a lot of people, that's why he hasn't asked: He doesn't want to hear your answer.