sometimes during the day i get bored and wanna send my girlfriend some dirty texts. i have but shes not as entertained by them as i am. anybody have any good ones that would turn on girls in general? thanks

"I want to drink sake out of your butthole, baby."

I wanna make your rectum prolapse.

I wanna fuck an older version of you (your mom).

"Baby, I wish I was fucking you right now with a finger in your ass."

Thats just personally what I would use. When it comes to dirty texts, I like to get straight to the point.

"I want to have consensual intercourse in the missionary position, right after having a one hour and thirty minutes session of closeness."

Take several pictures of your ballsack and gooch region and send them to her in increments of every one minute for two hours. Every time 60 seconds elapsed you need to send her a fresh portrait of your manhood. She might try to call you or text you back, inquiring to what the fuck your doing but simply ignore her facade of prudeness and continue on with the blitzkrieg of balls. The constant testicular barrage must not be softened until the task is completed.

After seeing your genitals in all 120 different chafing and impetuous positions she will surely be hornier then a drunken Catholic school girl. Then and only then can you smite her pussy.

In all seriousness you should just communicate your growing libido when your with her in person. Texts aren't very sexual and for good reason. However if your adamant in your pursuit of text sex, then I suggest you do it while only referring to yourself in the third person and by typing lol at the end of every message.

"i wanna shag u lol k"

Makes them wet every time.

Compliment parts of her body that you enjoy, and the describe doing lewd act that she is fond of.

Some people just aren't into that kind of thing though, so don't push it if you don't get a positive response.

Oh yeah, here's a serious reply:

Be VERY detailed in your message. Don't just say "I want to fuck your brains out", say something like "I want to smell your neck, and then gently bite you right where your neck connects to your shoulder"

"I want to rub my cock on every square-inch of your body"

Some of these posts are fucking funny as Hell, man!

"i stick my shaft where your back splits in twain"

fixed

"I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you."

This thread is win.

Seriously dude if you dont use any of these can I ??

This thread is surely i win. sadly after reading above posts my creativity isn't high enough now.

Have you ever heard of hai2u?

*ObZ

I put on my robe and my wizard hat

yeah. and people can post responses from their girlfriends too after seeing a specific one. thatd be funny

"I wanna throw my mud covered hot dog down your hallway"

Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

I wanna fuck you like an animal. My whole existence is flawed.

Ahahahaha. That's fucking priceless.

Chatroom Freak #3

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey…
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 **** of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don’t see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don’t f*ck with me bitch, I’m the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don’t ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik’s evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it’s getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
 Many Weeks Later
bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don’t know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i’m a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don’t wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it’s just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don’t play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn’t get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

http://artflutter.com/tag/chat/



"Let's go halves on a baby..."

"I want to break your neck, toes, ankles, knees, fingers, wrists, elbows, and then rip out your spine and skull fuck you."

Yo quiero ir al baño contigo.

"I want to poop on your chest"


or,

"I wish to impregnate you with siamese twins, and then fist you until they die."

Send a pic of crapped-in underwear to her..

send her nude pixx of yourself.

Im gonna rape u hoe

"Almost, almost, almost, there we are"
"We could have sexual intercourse right now, But let's not."

this would do it for mr

"8IIIIIIIIIID-----^.^[You]"

'I'm going to fuck you in every orafice then post pics on totse.'

Hahahaha, What the fuck man!

lolz, just say

"I want u so bad, i just might fuck a Koala"

"i <3 your ass. want to ride it. c u at 21.00. bring lube."

why is everyone here obsessed with anal sex?

just say u wana go tubgirl style on her XD

5char