sorry for bad grammar its like 2:30 and i just need some help

ok well me and my ex broke up about 3 weeks ago after about a year.. for the first week she hated me.. then the 2nd week shes kinda talked to me.. now she kinda talks to me and wants to hangout sometimes.

so we hang out on saturday and sunday and we end up doing shit (not sex but everything else) and i still really like her so i ask her out and she says she cant because i hurt her so bad that she doesnt know if she can go out with me. but the thing i dont get is she said she didnt wanna go out with me before we did shit. and like she doesnt want to hang out too much because she doesnt want us to get too attached to each other but when we do hang out shes always cuddling me on her bed or sitting on my lap. she also always wants me to come over if shes in like a bad mood and always says she just wants me to come take care of her and make her feel better

what i dont get is why she doesnt want to go out with me, but she still wants to do shit, she still wants to like lay with me in her bed for a whole day, she wants me to be with her whenever shes sad, and she still gets jealous if i talk to any girls..

Ex girlfriends are usually that for a reason. Just get over her and move on. Save yourself the trouble of being fucked over by her.

You broke up...You still see each other...You still do things...You are not getting into a relationship for the time being.

You hurt her dude...That shit sticks.
I would say she still has feelings for you and is physically attracted to you, enough to warrant some fucking around but she's not ready to take a step forward and risk being hurt.

You can look from an optimistic standpoint and keep trying. Take it one day at a time and let her get used to seeing you trying to be a better person and don't fuck it up this time.

Or you can look at it from a paranoid pessimist's perspective and see that you are her baggage until something better turns up.

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like we both have tried to move on and my moving on was more of a one night thing but her moving on involved her "liking" some guy.. and like she even admitted that she like tried to like him even though she didnt and she tried to act like he was me but only the good not that bad, and all he did was make her think of me so she ended shit with him before anything happened..and shes like been to parties and shit and she said shes had plenty of opportunities to like hook up with guys and she swears on her life she didnt because it didnt seem right and she always says stuff like she wishes we met later in life so we werent young and stupid and hurt each other soo much and like idk what to do

like i really want to go back out and i know she does shes just being weird like saturday she kissed me first and it led to us doing shit but sunday she said that we couldnt kiss.. but all it took to break that was me saying "you didnt say we cant do anything else" and so we did other shit but no kissing.. its like weird shit like that that confuses me and she always brings up like how do we know were right for each other if we havent gone out and tried out other people but the second either of us talks to other people like that we both dont want to do anything.. like i think shes trying to make it sound like she wants to move on to see what i want

EDIT: and too add to the mess the last time we has sex was the day of the break up and she just stopped taking the pill since then and hasnt gotten her period and is extremely moody so she thinks she could be pregnant even though i think thats absolutely false

If you still want to be with her, be with her.

If you don't want to be with her, but can still stand to be around her, get sexual gratification without the relationship.

If you don't want to be with her at all, don't hang out with her.

Interesting story, why do you want to go out with her again if you broke up ?

You sure she's not trying to play you ? Is she hanging out with other dudes and shit aswell ?

Kinda sounds like she still likes you but is scared/to proud to admit it and go back out with you.

well she ended shit because i did something really mean when we got into a pretty bad fight.. and i want to be with her still and she seems like she still wants to be with me but its just confusing

like on sunday she called me after i left and wanted me to come back over and said she missed me and all this shit and then monday morning she texted me as soon as she woke up and we made plans to hang out wednesday (i worked monday and shes got cheerleading tuesday) but now the plans changed to after class and before cheer tuesday and she doesnt want to hang out wednesday anymore and is being a bitch about this whole thing.

also, i think she just wants to hang out today to hang out more.. she said if we hung out saturday we couldnt sunday and we ended up hanging out most of both days so i guess ill find out whats gonna happen tomorrow but this is just my optimistic side showing

I'm sure I'm right when I say this. You are each others first Love. These feelings won't stop. You're always going to want her and vice versa. If you think it can work, just keep hanging with her and don't ask to get back together. Pushing will push her away. If she wants you back and forgives you, eventually you will naturally end up that way.

ok so were gonna hang out for a little bit today and heres my plan:

im gonna just chill for a while and see what happens and if shes still being her weird self then im gonna tell her.. look i really want this to work but if you dont right now then idk what to do anymore. if you really dont want to be with me right now then fine. i really want this to work but i wont wait around forever

or something like that basically i just want to get the point across that i know both of us want this but shes still "confused" and that im not gonna wait around forever. i wanna say something like everything that happened this weekend wasnt a mistake and meant something but if shes too proud to forgive or if shes too blind to see it then theres nothing else i can do anymore

Do this and its game over for you. You're trying to fix an emotion driven problem with logic. If you tell her to jump or else, she'll do the best thing she can if not sure. She's gonna walk away. That's the safe bet, and she'll take it.

What you should do is respond to her affection with affection. If she wants to cuddle, cuddle with her. Be her emotional support and quit letting your logic guide you. She's putting you in this situation to see if you'll step up and give her emotional support. She wants empathy, not to be fixed. If you give it to her, you'll slowly come together again without saying a thing. Push it, and she'll scare off.

This situation is the same as helping someone who's had something bad happen. You don't offer advice, tell them about upsides, you only say you're sorry for their loss or situation. Telling her she has to make a choice is insensitive to her feelings, and you are going to come off as an asshole. Cater to her by empathising with her feelings, and she'll see that you are the great guy she wants in her life. If you Love her, it'll be worth the time and effort. Don't slam the door on your own foot.

here some advice....
Move on.

Im telling you its not worth it because even if you do go back out that feeling why you guys broke up will always be there and its not healthy. Just move on and forget her.

STOP TALKING TO HER.

You broke up, it's over, move on. She'll do whatever the fuck she wants and bang as many guys as her pussy can handle if that's what she feels like doing. You don't control her. You lost any exclusivity, so just give it up. When a relationship ends, it's done. Quit lingering.

Unless you can regain exclusivity, stop speaking to her right now.

If i was in your situation then i would tell your ex that she can't have it both ways and that she has to decide because you won't waste your time playing cat and mouse games with her. if she reacts harshly and surprised that is good because you will get a truthful answer, if not then push her till the truth comes out because from personal experience it isnt fun when someone leads you on then leaves you in the dust

well i ended up going over there tonight and basically said that im done doing all this. like i told her i want to go out and i want it to work and i tried so hard but if she doesnt want it then idk what to do anymore.

then she says she misses me and is scared to be without me, but at the same time doesnt wanna be with me

so then i say some last words then go to leave and she wont let me get up til i hug her.. then as im leaving she makes me come back and hug her again. then as im driving home she texts me saying i know your bsing me so idc. im like what am i bullshitting you about? and she says she knows im not giving up. so i say honestly idk what you want anymore and you need to figure some shit out.. you tell me what you want because im not gonna be around forever and then i say goodnight.. and she replies with a night... and then keeps talking and i keep saying goodnight and after a few more texts i guess she realized she was seeming needy and actually went to bed

well i would forget about her dude. Honestly if you guys still talk let her come to you, never text her. Let her feel like you have control of this not her. Bc right now im sure she feels like she has you in her hands but dont act like that. This will show you how much she wants you.

You really need to read some books on dealing with women dude, cause you messed up big time, just like I said you would. That whole time she was trying to tell you something, and you completely fucking ignored her. You're a total asshole, no wonder she broke up with you. You are exactly what women are talking about when they say men are all assholes, and judging by the majority of the guys here agreeing with what you just did, it pretty much solidifies it. That girl fucking loved you, and all she wanted from you was to empathize with her, and show you cared about what she was going through, to be an understanding and supporting partner. You just ignored her, and stated conditions she would have to follow to be with you. That's fucking harsh dude. Tomorrow she's going to come to terms that it's over, and once a woman does that, it's not ever going to happen again.

You did the right thing dude, sounds like she was using you as her emotional tissue.

You both were together for a long tim and she doesnt know how to be alone yet so she needs to keep you around for emotional stability. Don't listen to these idiots here, you gave her the option if shes serious about being with you she will tell you and if shes not well at least you know and arnt getting fucked around.

shes not going through anything.. i tried for like 3 weeks to show her i still cared and still loved her and tried to get her back and she didnt give a shit. now if i act like i dont want her back she'll realize she doesnt have complete control anymore.. i didnt tell her i never wanted to go out anymore i only said that i wasnt gonna be like i was. im done trying so hard to be with her. i didnt say id stop hanging out, or talking, or being there for her

edit: and i didnt give her any conditions like if you dont go out with me then im done all i did was tell her i wasnt gonna be like the way i was. and i tried to empathize with her i asked her whats going on lately i tried to say i noticed a difference i told her i was there for her and i always would be and she told me she doesnt need my fucking help.. like im trying to empathize but she wont let me in all the time.. sometimes she'll talk but sometimes not

edit 2 lol: and i didnt try to say ok im done now see she wants me back im trying to show you guys how she thought she was in control of everything.. she said im bsing her and she doesnt care because she thinks im gonna still try to be with her.. when she told me she didnt want to go out i said ok so she said fine if you dont want to be with me anymore.. shes playing games with me

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