So I'm an atheist, and the girl I'm dating (currently three months) is christian. I should preface this by saying that she's not a fundamentalist, born-again type; she has no hang-ups about sex and is very open minded and intelligent. Her brand of religion is very moderate, Church of England and personal, but she does pray and go to church. We've talked about religion a bit, but I've tended to divert the conversation towards less controversial areas, often with some inane philosophical platitude. I also tend to downplay my atheism, emphasising the uncertainty of all belief and how I have more of a problem with religion as an institution than with personal faith.

I love her, we get on incredibly well and the sex is fantastic, but does anyone think this will present a major problem in the future? More generally, does anyone know about long-term relationships between atheists and religious people? How do they raise their children?

I don't think it can work. Eventually, one or both of you will have to make a compromise in your beliefs.

*ObZ

I was in the same position as you 2 years ago, started dating a girl who had christian beliefs but was open to things and it wasn't as though she was saving herself for marriage. She occasionally went to youth groups and church. She's also really intelligent and is in university now. I don't share any of her beliefs, her parents are both christian but are not crazy evangelicals or anything like that.

'course it'll be 2 years on the 18th and I'm still madly in love with her.

Things can work man, so don't worry. And what Obs said, it's true eventually there will be compromises but that happens in every relationship and with every single problem and conflict there is. But that doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed.

Nah, I think it is fine as long as she is open-minded and you downplay your non-religious status. You've only been together for 3 months, so I wouldn't even think about the kids issue yet, but I think the common-sense thing is to let kids grow up to an age of reason, then let them choose themselves. I mean, personally, I probably couldn't handle it, if only because I just find such faith and praying silly, not just organized religion. But if I loved her, then I would probably care less, as long as she didn't push it on me. Then again, I've grown up in the south (U.S.), so I'm use to all the religiosity.

If you can both be truly accepting and respectful of each other's religious beliefs, it won't be a problem. Problems happen when people are too pigheaded to see the value of someone else's values; when an atheist thinks someone who follows a religion is stupid, when a Christian believes an atheist is doomed to hell.

My boyfriend is quite religious, and I'm quite atheistic. But we both realize that we are both people of faith; he has faith that there is a god, I have faith that there isn't. Neither of us can prove our beliefs; but everyone takes a leap of faith at some point, and we are all in the same boat really, trying to explain the things we can't understand. As long as you aren't going to force your opinions on her and she won't try to convert you, it really shouldn't be a problem.

The "faith" of an atheist is like the faith of someone that doesn't believe in unicorns, atleast for a weak atheist, which I'd say most atheists are.

Why should he do this? Being an atheist isn't something to be ashamed of. He's accomodating of her church-going and praying, so why shouldn't she act the same?

You can't deny a part of your identity just because it makes someone else uncomfortable. OP if you don't feel like you can really be yourself around her, you need to find someone else.

Whatever, religion is such a farce. But that's a rant for another time.

*ObZ

No, you're stupid and close minded if you don't realize that god, or the absence thereof, cannot be proven definately. There are no solid facts, no constants, no proof. Only people futilely trying to grasp a truth that is forever out of their reach. We all use different methods to find meaning and none of those methods are less valid than any other.

Yes, but you are talking on an epistemological level. There are both theists and atheists which work on this level, by "proof" or "knowledge," and I would agree they are kidding themselves. That is why I noted "weak atheists" which even Dawkins believes makes up 90% or more of all atheists. They work on an evidential-belief level, not epistemological. Obviously I cannot search all throughout every last inch of the universe to see if unicorns exist or not, but that is not the point. It is about burden of proof and evidence.

But for a religious person, they don't need proof.

All they need is faith.

Religion is stagnation, the opposite of progress. They don't need to search for answers, they already have them. And if they don't, they can fall back on faith. It's a very comfortable self-contained system.

Now, the debate about whether there is some kind of higher power or not is a different argument altogether. This is where agnostics are born. In my view, this argument is largely futile. Whether or not a 'god' exists is irrelevant because man must behave the same way in either case.

*ObZ