So i was waiting for the bus today on a busy street somwhere here in queens. I had just got done eating a shishkabob from some stand next to the train. I was about to light a cigarette when this hot girl walked by. She stopped and asked me for a light. I said yeah sure and as she rifled through her purse i thought to myself i had to talk to her.

The conversation went somehow like this.


me- so what are you up to today
Her- shopping
Me- oh realy what are you buying?
Her- just some traditional stuff
Me- oh werd i love a classic beauty
her- yea i try my best
*lights cigarette*
Me- so whats your name?
Her- kate
Me- My names Otto, nice to meet you kate
*shakes hand*
Her- anyway i have go
Me- Wait, can i at least get your number?
Her- Not now i realy have to go.

She then turns around and walks away. I was amazed at how cool i played it. This routine usually works for getting girls numbers but today it failed.

I then turned around and looked at my reflection in a store window. I had barbecue and hot sauce all over my lips.

Must have forgot to clean myself off. I felt like such an ass trying to talk to this incredibly hot chick with a dirty fucking face.


Anyway...

ITT: tell stories of incredibly embarrassing moments.

She must have thought you had herpes.

*ObZ

I'd be very embarrassed if I shook a girls hand and told her my name is Otto.

*counts blessings*

I lold hard.

Haha. I bet ive hit more girls than youve probably ever spoken too.


me > you

what a bitch?

who doesn't love bbq sauce?

I bet anything you hits either been hit by a lard truck or an ugly stick

girls are fucking easy and when you're in a situation like that you start talkin about some bullshit first then say your name right before you ask for her number. except you make up a name thats not a bus driver on the simpsons and dont shake her hand unless she offers it and dont fuckin shake it like its a business deal or something.

Anyways, you're probly better off trying some other corner in queens where $10 for a stone will get you a fuck

Girls suck anyway.

Hey thanks for the tip

Everyone knows you cant even get stones for $10 anymore. let alone a fuck. well i don't know about whatever the fuck shitty place you come from but defenetly not around here.


also.. Its easy to make shit up on the internet. How about you make yourself up a life and stop talking shit on the internets. and quit being such an anoying little douche.

I would figure in new york you could get both for $20 or at least some dome(head) and a stone(crack). Round here you can just wander around and you'll run into groups of dumb lil girls probly your age (not mine) and talk some shit and they'll stick to you then you can stick it in them. It all really depends what you're goin for.

but anyways, I have a life devoid of any real positive contribution to society and you don't even have a lighter and a respectable name.

Thats the first thing you are doing wrong.


Can you guess what the second is?

not making fun of your name enough?

I fucking lol'd, queens? ha ha ha


jk. but seriously what with all the NYC totseans here?

lollll i dunnozzz

Maybe the fact that 9 million people live there.

when you divide it up few people would know how to use the internet.

Congrats on overcoming the odds.

thank you sir.

This.

Maybe for you, were not all homosexual... Although I do respect you