totse.com | Illegal Immigrant Guide to Canada.

The Methematician · #1 2008-09-25, 18:54

So, it seems like a majority of totseans agreed that Canada is a better place compared to the US. So, assuming canadians won't be accepting migrants with criminal records, if I wanted to migrate to canada illegally :

[a] What would be the best way to come in ? Border crossing ? by air ? or by sea ?

[b] Which is the best city to land in ? City that have lots job for illegals and cheap places to live ?

[c] How many years does one have to live in canada before one can apply for citizenship ?

[d] Places that offers free shelter/food/water ?

[e] What's canadian immigration system like ? Do you have to wait to be "neutraled" like in the US ?

[f] Does canadians offer political asylum ?

more idea or suggestions ?

averageBT · #2 2008-09-25, 18:58

1.go to Montana

2.Cross over to Canada by foot.

3.that's it.

negz · #3 2008-09-25, 19:02

I don't think there's an actual fence border between the US and Canada. Just walk across. Or fly out. Whatever.

It'd be hard to apply for citizenship without immigration papers.

brotherinarms · #4 2008-09-25, 19:04

Make your way to vancouver its the best place to start.

The Methematician · #5 2008-09-25, 19:16

So, how does one apply for jobs without valid papers ? I mean, without jobs and your own place to live, you're just a tourist, right ?

IceCAPPED · #6 2008-09-25, 19:17

We don't take kind to your people.

negz · #7 2008-09-25, 19:17

Find businesses with Chinese/Indian owners/managers.

The Methematician · #8 2008-09-25, 19:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceCAPPED View Post

We don't take kind to your people.

This motivates me even more....canada, here I come....

eh.

_______________________

What sort of jobs you get from an Indian / Chinese owner/manager ?

IceCAPPED · #9 2008-09-25, 19:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Methematician View Post

This motivates me even more....canada, here I come....

eh.

_______________________

What sort of jobs you get from an Indian / Chinese owner/manager ?

Your too gay for Canada. I hope you die/get kicked out/some horrible fate. Have fun living on the streets trying to own a convienence store.

a drifters life · #10 2008-09-25, 23:39

Haha, actually crossing by foot in Montana is probably your best bet... and you'd come up very close to me.

As for the rest of your questions, there are tons of under the table jobs everywhere.

As for where to go once you're here. Don't go to Ontario, their economy is fucked like yours. The West is the best.

No idea about citizenship stuff.

I would probably agree with the dude that said head to Van. Or whatever you figure.

ObsdianZ · #11 2008-09-25, 23:50

Too bad Vancouver's cost of living is sky-high. It's no place to make a start.

Northern Alberta. Guaranteed a job doing whatever you apply for with amazing pay. If you sign up with an oil company they give you a living allowance on top of pay and take care of your living space (as long as you don't mind a motel room or big box trailer type thing).

Alberta's a shitty place to live. Move out once you make some money.

*ObZ

a drifters life · #12 2008-09-26, 00:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by ObsdianZ View Post

Too bad Vancouver's cost of living is sky-high. It's no place to make a start.

Northern Alberta. Guaranteed a job doing whatever you apply for with amazing pay. If you sign up with an oil company they give you a living allowance on top of pay and take care of your living space (as long as you don't mind a motel room or big box trailer type thing).

Alberta's a shitty place to live. Move out once you make some money.

*ObZ

I'm pretty sure he won't get a job with any energy companies being an illegal immigrant with a record...

But yeah, the coast is expensive as fuck.

I would say pick a smaller city that has a lot of opportunity but isn't super expensive. Cities like Lethbridge, Saskatoon, Kelowna, Kamloops, etc... Best bet.

The Methematician · #13 2008-09-26, 06:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by a drifters life View Post

I'm pretty sure he won't get a job with any energy companies being an illegal immigrant with a record...

I think the point of being illegals is to avoid having records of any kind in the first place....

Quote:

But yeah, the coast is expensive as fuck.

I would say pick a smaller city that has a lot of opportunity but isn't super expensive. Cities like Lethbridge, Saskatoon, Kelowna, Kamloops, etc... Best bet.

Hmm...sounds like cities that's worth considering....let's see how they look on wikimapia....

TheLegendaryLocke · #14 2008-09-26, 06:08

Border hop, murder/mug people... nnobody knows you so you can go anywhere. think of it like... GTA Illegal Immigrant...

The Methematician · #15 2008-09-26, 06:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceCAPPED View Post

Your too gay for Canada.

I'll be sure to write that down in my memoir when I became successful...in my pursuit of errr....Canadian Dreams, eh ?

Quote:

I hope you die/get kicked out/some horrible fate. Have fun living on the streets trying to own a convienence store.

Hey, at least make an effort to provide details on what they do to illegals once they are caught....

Spam Box · #16 2008-09-26, 07:07

Not that many illegal immigrants in Canada, at least compared to a lot of countries. Theres a lot of jobs available, as long as you don't mind doing bitch work (scrap cleanup at construction, etc) and you're capable of making contacts you'll do alright.

Splam · #17 2008-09-26, 08:17

For 50 thousand dollars I'll sell you my passport and carecard. I don't live in Canada anymore.

The Methematician · #18 2008-09-26, 08:49

From my wikimapia research, Kamloops seemed nice...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splam View Post

For 50 thousand dollars* I'll sell you my passport and carecard. I don't live in Canada anymore.

Deal. Since you didn't mention whether it's US dollar or Canadian dollar, I assume you're talking about Zimbabwe dollar here, so...deal.

TrueBudSmoker · #19 2008-09-26, 09:56

A good bet for finding a job would be to work landscaping for a small company, or start your own. Or you could deliver pizza as a contract driver, no ss# required. Make up a pamphlet and drop it off it peoples mail boxes, get some contract for snow removal or cutting grass. That is, if you want to be blue collar scum for the rest of your life.

chrislol · #20 2008-09-26, 11:32

just show up, no one will bother you. or marry a Canadian.

Mik-O · #21 2008-09-26, 12:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrislol View Post

or marry a Canadian.

hey
if you can bear living as a tourist for a while, see if you can develop a relationship and marry someone
for serious marriage, or if they get money; who cares

The Methematician · #22 2008-09-26, 19:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueBudSmoker View Post

A good bet for finding a job would be to work landscaping for a small company, or start your own. Or you could deliver pizza as a contract driver, no ss# required. Make up a pamphlet and drop it off it peoples mail boxes, get some contract for snow removal or cutting grass. That is, if you want to be blue collar scum for the rest of your life.

Is it possible to get a car or drive around without any papers at all ? Does RMCP stop you to check on your driving lic/reg or something like that in Canada ?

Last time I heard, the RMCP is going around chasing after some guy who cammed in a cinema....

a drifters life · #23 2008-09-27, 02:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Methematician View Post

From my wikimapia research, Kamloops seemed nice...

Kamloops is pretty nice, my gf lives there. As far as "nice" goes though, Kelowna takes it. Kind of a resort town, but sooo many hot women/cool people. It's pretty expensive there though and the City of Vancouver shipped all the junkies to Kelowna so the world doesn't see the drug problems here in 2010.

Fuckin junkies, makin us look bad.

a drifters life · #24 2008-09-27, 02:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Methematician View Post

Is it possible to get a car or drive around without any papers at all ? Does RMCP stop you to check on your driving lic/reg or something like that in Canada ?

Last time I heard, the RMCP is going around chasing after some guy who cammed in a cinema....

Well you need a birth certificate to get a license/ID I think. But if you go to a city with good transit, you won't even need one. Go be a downtown hippy in a big city.

spinal_cord · #25 2008-09-27, 03:38

it would be rrather easy

too lazy to explain though

PlentyofTorrents.com · #26 2008-09-27, 06:01

We don't have an INS department as far as I know. The only immigrants that get deported are the ones who legally tried to stay here. If you don't come in legally they don't know you exist. Theres no number people can call to report illegal immigrants either.

Vancouver has lots of cash jobs.

The Methematician · #27 2008-09-27, 06:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by PlentyofTorrents.com View Post

We don't have an INS department as far as I know. The only immigrants that get deported are the ones who legally tried to stay here. If you don't come in legally they don't know you exist. Theres no number people can call to report illegal immigrants either.

Vancouver has lots of cash jobs.

What I'm afraid of working in a big city is that it might be too expensive/complicated to find a place to live without the necessary papers/docus....

And another question would be how to land in canada illegally ? It's like every crossable border crossing have some sort of checkpoint....

Quote:

Originally Posted by a drifters life View Post

Well you need a birth certificate to get a license/ID I think. But if you go to a city with good transit, you won't even need one. Go be a downtown hippy in a big city.

How about getting a decent place to stay ? Do you need anything to rent an apartment ? Or all you need to do is just pay cash upfront ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by a drifters life View Post

Kamloops is pretty nice, my gf lives there. As far as "nice" goes though, Kelowna takes it. Kind of a resort town, but sooo many hot women/cool people. It's pretty expensive there though and the City of Vancouver shipped all the junkies to Kelowna so the world doesn't see the drug problems here in 2010.

Fuckin junkies, makin us look bad.

Yea,....resort town might be nice, but the cost of living and food might not be ideal...unless I could find a job with some motel owner that would have no problem providing a decent place to stay and decent food for illegals .... and decent pay aswell...

p/s : What's the living standard like in average canadian city(kamloops for eg.) ? Like what's the minimum amount of $$ you need for 3 meals a day and a small rented room in an apartment ?

PlentyofTorrents.com · #28 2008-09-27, 07:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Methematician View Post

What I'm afraid of working in a big city is that it might be too expensive/complicated to find a place to live without the necessary papers/docus....

And another question would be how to land in canada illegally ? It's like every crossable border crossing have some sort of checkpoint....

Come in as a tourist and stay. Or cross the largest unprotected border in the world if your coming in from the states. Print out some maps of those areas get some camping gear and hike across. Avoid farm houses near the border, they look out for people crossing.

Hike with a bike so you can ride in the rest of the way once u hit a road. Stay in a backpackers hostel in Vancouver and search craigslist for a rental. Most renters dont ask for personal info.

If you have a friend in Canada ask him/her for their library card info so you can use the internet free in the librarys. Don't carry id in case a cop stops you and searches through your stuff and tell him your from canada and your homeless.

PlentyofTorrents.com · #29 2008-09-27, 07:39

Also with someones care card number address and sin number you can get free health care at a walk in clinic. All they ask for is the persons address, sin number (social insurance number), home address, date of birth etc...

Just make sure you are the same race, eye colour, height and age range and you'll have no problems.

You can put an ad in craigslist asking to borrow this info for a small fee.

You dont need the actual cards just their numbers.

The Methematician · #30 2008-09-27, 07:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by PlentyofTorrents.com View Post

....Avoid farm houses near the border, they look out for people crossing....

Do they just report it to the RMCP or they shoot on sight ?

Quote:

Hike with a bike so you can ride in the rest of the way once u hit a road. Stay in a backpackers hostel in Vancouver and search craigslist for a rental. Most renters dont ask for personal info.

If you have a friend in Canada ask him/her for their library card info so you can use the internet free in the librarys. Don't carry id in case a cop stops you and searches through your stuff and tell him your from canada and your homeless.

Nice...

Quote:

Originally Posted by PlentyofTorrents.com

Also with someones care card number address and sin number you can get free health care at a walk in clinic. All they ask for is the persons address, sin number (social insurance number), home address, date of birth etc......You dont need the actual cards just their numbers.

Very nice...

pwntbypancakes · #31 2008-09-28, 18:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueBudSmoker View Post

You could buy a car through private sale, but the problem would be getting plates for the car. The RCMP would for sure pull you over if you didn't have any plates, you could steal someone elses plates though.

It would be impossible for you to register your car and get plates though unless you are a Canadian citizen. I don't see why you wouldn't just legally immigrate to Canada, I believe it is easy for people in the US to come to Canada, plus in Alberta there is a labor shortage so you could easily find a job. And you wouldn't have to worry about living as a fugitive. What if you got in a car accident without any insurance and you killed someone? You would be royally fucked without any insurance, but the fact you are an illegal immigrant without any insurance would land you in jail. Not to mention you would spend the rest of your life paying for it.

And what if you had to go to the hospital? They would treat you, but you would go to jail and be deported back to the US. And probably spend more time in jail there.

All it takes is 1 run in with the cops, 1 cop asking you for ID, 1 slip up, and you're fucked. Do you really want to live like that? Or do you want to deal with your charges, get an education, and become successful.

After you get your shit delt with, then move (legally) to Canada. Running away is just going to make things worse, your past will catch up with you. Guaranteed.

listen to this guy.

The Methematician · #32 2008-09-28, 18:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by pwntbypancakes View Post

listen to this guy.

Yeah,...I did.

And after thinking about it,...it occurred to me as the main reason why illegals engage in illegal activities and illegal businesses are the immigration laws itself.

Time to write letters to the pirate party. There's a pirate party in canada, right ?

static_void · #33 2008-09-28, 20:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by ataraxia View Post

Newfoundland you say? Interesting statistic-I dunno if it's still true-newfoundland has a 2:1 female:male ratio. Sounds better than freezing-cold Alberta to me.

Yes, you'll love the tropical climate of Newfoundland...

Srs bsns: Go to Vancouver or somewhere in the Okanagan if you don't want to pay out the ass for housing. Find a construction job. You can expect to make around $12-16 / hour. Rent will be around $500-800 for a simple one bedroom in the Okanagan, multiply by two for Vancouver (though it will be less if you live somewhere else in the GVA like Burnaby, Coquitlam, Richmond, etc... I recommend that). Groceries shouldn't amount to much more than $50-75 a week, depending on how much you eat. BC would be a pretty easy place to live undetected, it's not like California with all those Mexicans and whatnot.