Well as some of you may know last night was homecoming with the girl in my other thread. It was ok up till the end, and i haven't smoked since the last time with her. With roughly 15 minutes of the night we are just sitting there playing around, she got in a fist fight with her friend during a little mosh pit that started and broke it up. Her foot got fucked up a little so i carried her to the car all the way around back. We leave have fun go to sonic and blah blah blah. When we are sitting there joking around, we always call each other names and stuff, she calls me a wuss all the time. Well we were talking about the fight and I called her a wuss. She just says,"I'm ignoring you now." Dead silent until her house where she kinda forces a thank you. I drive home feeling like shit. I end up realizing i pretty much suck at life and can't get a break.

The last 3 weeks have been me fucking up and getting fucked over. My "friends" from this summer basically fucked me over then started ignoring me so we stopped hanging out. I don't really care that much but i guess thats where it starts. I am really starting to get pissed at one of them and i really just want to fight him but I know that he wouldn't fight fair. Then about a week or two ago i got really sick and missed about a week of school. This wasn't too bad and I didn't have that much make up work, but i didn't get any of it done because i couldn't think straight and was just still feeling "off". I didn't think much of it till i found out grades were sent as progress reports that week and my teachers left my grades as zeros. I am now failing 2 classes and have an incomplete in one. I know its only the beginning and i can catch up but damn it sucks. I told my dad why and he responded,"Yeah i've hear that shit before" and slammed a door in my face. Then i started seeing this girl about half a week into the week i started failing. She was all good and fun the only negative was that she did the above bullshit.

At the dance i just felt like shit the whole time. I saw the lights and knew it would be awesome blazed but knew i couldn't. I just shrugged it off and kept trying to have fun. We went with her, her really crazy friend, and her other friend. Her crazy friend is cool and all but the whole time i felt like a third wheel because every time i would start dancing she would break in and start dancing with my date. They would dance on each other and just make me feel like a third wheel. I just sucked it up and kept going. Then they actually played a song i could enjoy and we made a big crowd of dancing and jumping. Her crazy friend pushed me deep into this big pit and i was ready to mosh. Then i remembered i was at a highschool dance surrounded by barefoot girls that were scared shitless. I just pushed my way out by the end of the song and went to sit down. Later we were outside of the big pit just talking while a good song played and her crazy friend pushes someone i know. I have a few different groups of "acquaintances" and this football bro guy was one of them. He turns and thinks its me and pushes me back. I shove him backwards into the pit and he just says sorry and walks off. then she gets in his face and is about to fight him and he apologizes again not really knowing what was going on.

I spent 1-2 am last night texting(gayest form of communication IMHO) with her about it. She said me calling her a wuss wasn't that big of a deal. I told her it just wasn't that it was everything. She thought i was talking about my speeding ticket and i started to explain it but once i got started i just stopped and told her i wasn't going to whine. She told me i didn't need to stop, i told her i did and then just stopped texting.

In the end i started thinking about life. How it seems almost every night anymore i spend staring at the ceiling listing to music realizing how much i fucked up the day. I just wish i could stop the world for a moment and let out this fucking pressure. I feel like my grades are shit, i have few friends, i have no money, no future at college, my father thinks im a failure, and I have no real chance at a relationship with anyone.

You guys form pits at your dances? Your dances play anything but generic rap? Lucky.

Anyways, I don't get the thing about your summer friends. All you really say is that you had a falling out for some unspecified reason.

Oh, and who cares about the number of friends you have? What matters is how good the friends you have are. I'd rather have a small group of tight friends than be popular with a large group of people who'd ditch you in a second if they got a better offer.

Hey, I don't need your permission to flame you.

That and they would always disrespect me. Insult me beyond the point of joking, i was always the lowest rung on the ladder and they tried to push that. It pissed me off so much. They would always take take take but never really do anything but fuck me over. They would take me pot/food/money to go do X and when it came time to do X i would be the one left out. It fucking pissed me off and i called them on it.

also yes our dances rock because my class over threw the student council of wiggas. There is still some rap but it was mostly rock/techno. it was awesome I really wish I was high. We were in an army armory outside a graveyard in the middle of no where and it had been nothing but rap/R&b/some light techno. Then when were like... oh this is still gay. Lights drop for a second, pitch black, total silence... let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies ht the floor, let the bodies hit the... FLOOOOOOORRR wth everyone around me fucking screaming. The girls tried to flee but some got stuck and we just started jumping and shouting. There was a small attempt at a real mosh pit but no one joined in because it was mostly fat retards that started it. by the end of that song my legs were dying and my tie was on my arm. That was the best part of the night.

OP, seriously. You know what you have to do, so how about instead of bitching to the rest of totse, you just go do it?

Fucking this. I had to tell my g/f to not text me because I fucking hate trying to type out little messages on some fucking numberpad. Fuck that.

And anyway you don't have it that bad dude, just chill and stop letting others decide how you feel. If you don't like them then don't fuck around with them. Its better to be by yourself on totse then to be with a bunch of fake people who are just gonna fuck you over in the end.

and that is?

Go out and enjoy yourself with your actual friends. Fuck the other people. They're by far the vast majority of people in this life and you just have to learn to ignore them. Just have a good time with the people who actually mean something to you.

lollllll numberpad