I'm going in for an interview tomorrow and it is followed by the oh-too-dreaded pre-employee drug test.

Seeing as how I smoke everyday, I'm not trusting any kind of detox (nor do I have the money, hence being interviewed for a job), so I've decided to substitute my piss.

My brother, a completely clean highschool student, has already agreed to provide me with his urine. I'm going fill a Visine bottle with it and tape it the inside of my thigh. That serves a dual purpose in that it's hidden and the urine is heated to your body temperature from being pressed against your leg. If the piss is too cold, they know that you've adulterated or substituted your urine.

When I go to take the test, I just act as if I was naturally peeing and just squeeze the Visine bottle, which makes it sound the exact same. I've heard some places watch you, but I'm pretty sure they won't be looking directly at my wang, just if I put my hands in my pockets or fill it with water or something.

What I want to know is if Totse thinks my method will work. If anyone has any suggestions, or if they have ever done this method or others, please feel free to post.

The only people that have ever WATCHED me during a piss test was the military.. and they know what to look for..

what job are you applying for? I doubt they'll watch..

is a visine bottle big enough to hold the amount of piss you need... ?

and it sounds like it'll work *shrug*

The pre employment tests I've been to, they don't watch you as you piss. They do stop all the water from running or color it. It seems like you have a good plan, just ensure that the piss in the bottle is warm enough. You could keep it extra warm before you get there, then remove it from the heat source and hope it cools by the time you need to piss. Use one of those heating pads if you got one.

We have a drug testing thread, please use it.