I've got somewhat of a situtation; advice might be nice, but this is also me venting.

I'm in a relationship of 2 and a half years with a girl whos very attached to me and I care about her alot...or at least i thought i did.

This past weekend i ended up at a house warming party for a bunch of engineers, which i assumed was going to be completely innocuous. And it was. I ended up having a few beers and then my roomate's girl invited us to her place for some drinks which again was harmless. And in an effort to drown some of my less social tendencies i ended up accepting drink after drink. And then a group came back to the house that wanted to go out to a bar and so I ended up going along with a few others to a local bar. And at this point I was sauced enough that i could feel my face and ears tingle, but it was nothing i hadnt experienced before. Well, I ended up drinking more than I've ever drank at the bar to the point where I honestly dont remember anything afterwards.

Flashforward to the next morning; I wake up next to a girl who i first mistook for my girlfriend. I didnt know her name, how we got there or what we did. After a quick information exchange; i found out we gave each other oral and then fell asleep. Now after asking her and asking around i THINK shes a penetrative virgin.

That day my room turned into a jail-cell. Everything from thoughts of suicide to possible infections crossed my mind and I didn't leave that bed all day.

and then came the phonecall to my girl. now, I considered for a few minutes that not telling her about this may be the best idea; because I knew she wouldnt leave me eitherway. But thats a piece of shit way out. Now, as i expected her first reaction was to want me to ask her forgiveness. But I have a feeling thats lots of emotion speaking. After several hours on the phone I decided to put the relationship on hold for a while until I made a visit to the clinic to get checked out for sti's, sorted out what the fuck type of person I was turning into and gave her enough of a chance to make a logical descision as to whether or not she really wanted to be dating someone like me.

I guess at this point im just looking for reassurance that i made the right call here. I fucked up, i fucked up big time and a large part of me thinks that just leaving her would be better in the long run. I never imagined I'd do something like this and it doesnt even feel real when i think back on it. But no matter how much I'd like to believe it didnt happen, i definitely fucked up royally. At the same time however, she cant stand the thought of us being on hold right now even though the ball completely is in her court. She still wants to be in a relationship with me and so do i.

But all I've thought about for the past 48 hours is that she deserves better. i havent come up with an answer; are her wants more important than what i think to be best for her in the long run?

Even though that's fucked up, and what you did was wrong and blabla.. I can't help but feel that if you didn't remember it, then what the fuck?! You sound like you'd never, ever do this sober. What if you hadn't woken up next to that girl. What if she had taken you home after you guys licked each others hoohas and you woke up in your own bed having NO IDEA ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED.. you'd never know! What then.. ?

Tell your girl.. she can make her own decisions on this.. you sound like a good guy.

If you can't handle your liquor don't drink you fucking pussy.

I've been fucked up to the point of passing out, but I've always been 100% in control of my actions.

Don't blame the booze, you're a fucking retard.

Retard.

take that back

well thats all fantastic, and i'm not washing my hands of blame at all here. but i dont have a recollection of even meeting this girl. i rarely drink and i've NEVER experienced any memory loss or blacking out from drinking prior. why would i be lying on totse?

Yeah.... not really impressed with the "It was the booze" excuse. I know it makes people more flirtatious/ lose their inhibitions, but if you were able to go to bed with her, then you knew what you were doing at the time. Not saying that I don't believe that you can't remember doing it.

THAT SAID, I am impressed that you came straight out and told your girlfriend about it, and that you're trying to do the right thing. Especially about going for std checks. I don't think you should ruin what sounds like a good relationship with a girl that cares about you, just because you feel guilty. Thats so cowardly. You did something wrong, and now you have to live with the guilt. Of course running away is easier than having to deal with her disappointment and (probably) loss of trust in you. But if she still wants you, I think you should be grateful. Don't patronise her by deciding "what's best for her."

That's bad luck aye.

You will have to build up trust.

If you and her decide to get back together she will be worrying like crazy every time you go out.

You may not remember, but you probably thought something like "Well, I know this is wrong...But I'm shitfaced, and tomorrow I'll have forgotten the whole thing and so I can use this to defend my case. WEW!" Seriously man, your subconscious is fucking evil.

This is true. I once pregamed by drinking 375ml of rum in an hour. Went to a few bars, drank for several more hours. I got a ride home that night from my friends. I threw up, went to bed, and the next day I still remembered everything. Alcohol is no excuse. I'll say stupid shit when I'm drunk, but I am completely in control of myself.

As far as your situation, how do you know she didn't lie to you? I've just slept with girls (no sex) before. It happens every so often. But, good for you to get tested. If somehow I was in this situation, honestly I dunno if I would've told my girlfriend or not. I would've waited a few days to see if somehow I remembered anything. If I couldn't remember it and none of my friends verified my story, I probably would've dropped the matter. If I have no recollection of it happening, and it's completely outside the scope of my usual sober and drunk behavior, then I don't know if I could believe it even happened.

I guess always remembering the shit I do while drunk kind of precludes this situation from happening. Knowing when to STOP drinking is key.

Lastly, I hope it works out ok for you. Chances are you didn't catch anything. Oral sex is pretty safe. Herpes is really your only worry. Best of luck.