So i recently learned/realized that i personally know Uncle Fester, even got some of his books for free from his son, signed. So I've been reading the books lately, and i realized this is something i could really get into. I have so much time on my hands, and I've been looking for something for so long to devote my time to, and I've finally found it.

I just don't know where to start, to understand all of this. I'm thinking about going to Barnes & Noble and buying the books 'chemistry for dummies' and 'organic chemistry for dummies', since i can't seem to find torrents.
But, what would you niggaz suggest??

Right here :
Oil 'n water don't mix.

Go outside. Right fucking now. Grab a fuckload of grass clippings.

- Do a water extraction on some of them.

- Do a dry isopropanol extraction on some of them.

- Do a butane extraction on some of them. Mmm... BHO.

Now...

- do a butane extraction on your water extraction.

- do an iso extraction on your water extraction.

- do an iso extraction on your butane extraction of your water extraction.

You now have, in order...

"That which is soluble in water and butane, but insoluble in isopropanol" - the part of the first which is left over after the third.

"That which is soluble in water and isopropanol, but insoluble in butane" - the remainder of the second.

And "that which is soluble in butane, water, and isopropanol" - the extraction of the third.

That's pretty neat. You can do this with the butane and iso fractions as well - that which is insoluble in water wasn't pulled in the water extraction obviously - but the point is, you have seperated out chemical fractions according to their properties. 'n that's the whole point, for the moment.

Now... drop a little iodine on a sample of each. Does it remain golden-brown, or does it turn purple-black? If the former, no sugar. If the latter, sugar.

Drop it in a sample of marquis reagent - does it change color? If so, you've probably got alkaloids in your sample, and you know what color it (or they) yields in a marquis test, for each fraction. (chromatographic development helps, but we'll get you on the basics first).

Drop a bit in a test tube of tollen's reagent (hell, SN could probably be persuaded to sell you that at a fair price, too). Did the test tube turn mirrored? If so... JOO GOTS ALDEHYDES, HOMBRE!!

If j00 gots no aldehydes or alkaloids, drop in a little aqueous ammonia. Did shit precipitate? If so, j00 got ketones!

Straining the precipitate and reevaporating the broth will give you "the ketones which are soluble in ___ and insoluble in ___" (the precipitate), and "the non-ketones which are soluble in ___ and insoluble in ___."

There's more... distillation, recrystallization, thermal precipitation through phase changes in miscible substances, whatever... but that's not the point : the point is to get up off your butt, yank some grass clippings out of your backyard, and seperate them into the damned chemical fractions. Just so you start doing it. 'n if you don't have a backyard, you've got either a courtyard or a park. All depends on how rural you are. Make it work. SRS, do it nao fagit.

The bulk of the art is the seperation of one thing from another by its properties. A matter, its properties in consideration its matter isolate. That's the most important part, 99.999% of everything worthwhile. Practice this, get good at this, master the fuck out of this, and then, when you can seperate inseperable compounds in your sleep twelve different ways and can rip anything into its constituent components, then you can start.

We'll be happy to teach you a billion other ways to isolate things... but for now, fractionate the lawn clippings and make a post giving us everything you can tell us about the chemical fractions within them. Seriously. We've told you where to get started, now go... get started.

I expect to see that thread soon.

Grab an inorganic highschool/college level textbook, and read till your eyes bleed.

Then repeat.

edit: There's a SHITLOAD of eBook material out there. Don't bother buying books. Textbooks are expensive anyhow. I think SN had a eBook thread somewhere... ton of rapidshare links, etc.

This!

i recommend specifically recommend "Organic Chemistry for Dummies 2nd edition". Its nice and easy and will help you alot!

But if you need any books let me know and i will upload them

The Teaching Company (TTC) I know has an excellent lecture series titled "High School Chemistry" or something similar. It's pretty good for learning ions, acid/bases, stoichiometry, etc. Nothing too difficult for a beginner to understand. A torrent of it shouldn't be terribly hard to find...

I am sorry to hear

Fester books are in no way a good starting point, he makes some reaction appear very simple and non dangerous when actually the risk are immense!

is his son on the wrestling team at his highschool?

haha, I'm pretty sure, why??

Please upload that book.