Much throughout my boyhood years I was quite a loner. I had friends, but they were much the same. Only recently have I been associating with females and meeting new people. I'm 18 and a virgin, and whenever the thought of having sex with one of them comes about, I get extremely nervous. To the point where I do everything in my power to avoid being put in that situation.

No, I'm not gay. But years of being shunned by girls gives me paranoid thoughts and some of my younger tendencies show, such as not talking around a lot of people in fear of them judging me which used to happen a lot. I have quite a fair few friends now, who 50% of the time talk about fucking and sluts and whatnot. Not only am I nervous around females, but I also don't want to have sex for the first time with one of these many sluts that show up at my mates house on a regular basis. I guess I want it to be "special".

As the years go by I feel it will only get worse as it hasn't gotten any better with age when it probably should have. Because of this awkwardness I also feel I won't be able to meet any decent females.

Has anyone else been in this situation? If so, what did you do to get out of this way of thinking?

this may sound bad but i think you should start drinking more.

Drinking could work the first few times... just be careful not to make it a long term thing. Or else you'll be suave when drunk, but shit when sober.

well no just like, drinking to get a feel for what he should be doing sober.. does that make sense?

yah i know what you're talking about. but whatever you do Misfit, just remember a sober lover's always a better lover.... unless you're just trying to get your dick wet, drown yourself and fuck-a-luck.

Just harden the fuck up.

Give it the same mind you'd give a female weed plant;

Feed/Water it.
Make sure it has good soil.
KEEP AWAY FROM MALE PLANTS.

I went through the exact same thing, and was the exact same person at 18. I was the fat ass in school etc...then from my sophomore year to my junior year I lost 120 lbs, got ripped as fuck, but it would still be years to build my confidence up enough. Drink more alcohol is a bad suggestion...when you're in that state of mind, trust me all the alcohol in the world is not going to loosen you up enough to do what you need to do, and you'll become a fat ass loser. You need to take small steps...I met a girl who really liked me, and we remained friends for over a year before having sex. And I can honestly say we were both madly in love with each other, she actually brought sex up to ME at one point saying something along the lines of 'I want you inside of me' (lolololol), and I just looked at her like....wtf? LOL. Once I could trust her enough to get over my insecurities it just happened. Once you're comfortable having sex, that insecurity goes away. It's not going to be instant, and alcohol is not the answer. Exercise a lot, eat healthy this helps your brain to function correctly and is better for life anyways (after I got into my healthy habits I founded a business which I still own). When I realized that I was just an insecure little boy, I had to make conscious decisions that many many many guys don't, but I think I'm 10x better now 90% of guys out there because of this . And yeah, I'll get down, do some drugs (I moderately do some blow, drink smoke weed etc but I think I'm a really healthy person still. It's all in moderation), I'm not a health nut or the like, I'm a normal guy but that will only hold you back where you are now.

Yeah, ideally that would work but I can assure you 100% it will not work for misfit, I was the EXACT same person he's describing. It's not gonna happen that way.

He would probably just get way too shit faced due to his nervousness and then fuck it up, again.

Misfit, I think the best way for you to get over this is just to submerge yourself in females. Just try to kick it with them as much as possible and over time you will stop second guessing yourself.

Unless of course your gay.

i suggest this only because i was the female social equivalent of him when i was younger.. and drinking, while yes sometimes i got way too shitfaced, other times it helped me to realize i shouldn't give a fuck about what other people think, most the time they're too worried about themselves to pay much attention to you anyway. it also helped me work up the nerve to approach people and say what was on my mind.. and it turns out 95% of the time i do this, i get good responses.. drunk or sober. i wouldn't say i HAD to start drinking to realize this shit or to be more socially.. skilled, i guess... but i think it definitely helped me along... just an idea.. weed always did the opposite for me, too. even nowadays if i smoke weed i can't even freakin talk to anybody. everyone's different i guess.