A while back I typed a letter to myself, saved it on my computer and forgot about it. It was about people in my life who'd treated me like crap, sexual abuse, and the like. These were things I never really talked about with anyone save for a few close friends. I never went to any police about these things or even told my parents. From my viewpoint, it's in the past and there's nothing anyone can do to change it. Things like that used to eat me up back then, but now I'm a firm believer in karma. I'm really happy with who I have now so I have no reason to dwell or be dramatic about it.

Anyhow, one day out of nowhere I get the silent treatment from my husband. He wouldn't talk to me or even look at me. He drank a lot. I can't explain how much of an asshole he was being. It's pretty unusual for him to act like that. I tried to think of every reason he could possibly be pissed but I was coming up blank.

It turns out he was going through my computer for whatever reason, and he read it. Most of the stuff in there, I had already told him about (the big things atleast) so I don't know why he acted like that. I poured my heart out in that letter. The only thing I can think of is that maybe he didn't realize how much it hurt before(?). I am the kind of person who makes jokes and smiles in tough situations.

Thinking back on it, I know he was just hurt. But I feel like he was hurting me over something that's already hurt me in the past. I'm pretty much over it and don't need other people being all upset over it. I'm pretty sure other people here have had loved ones who have told them about bad things that happened to them in the past. Can anyone explain this behavior?

Did the letter have anything about him in it?

Nope, I'd post it if he didn't delete it.

He probably just doesn't understand. Guys are less emotional it seems like. He was probably just hurt that you didn't trust him enough to share it with him. I'd just sit down and explain the 2 different view points.

He was just a little upset because he now realizes he's getting your uncle's sloppy seconds.

On a more serious note, he is most likely angry that you didn't tell him all of this stuff. Did he divulge all of his past unto you? Maybe he expected you do to the same. Guys will hit the bottle for a number of reasons, few of them good.

Like I said, I told him most of it but I never really told him how any of it effected me. And it's possible he has told me more about his past than I've told him about mine.

Yeah, he's more than likely just pissed off you didn't tell him everything. It's not a matter of him not understanding, because guys can be deceptively empathic. The minority (meatheads who don't get it/care) is portrayed as the majority, unfortunately. Just tell him that you wanted to tell him, but bringing it up in a conversation would be bringing it back to your life, at least for a while, and you just wanted to move on from it all.

At least, if someone said that to me I would be totally cool about it. I would probably do something nice after as well.

True. This is proof you guys are just as loony as us ladies.

We have feelings? Wut wut?

One of my exs told me about a week into the relationship that she had been molested by her stepmother and stepfather, and that she told her dad and he didn't believe her. I was shocked; I honestly didn't know how to react, so I didn't really. I told her exactly what I was expected to, and told her how much that sucked, and that people like that should rot in hell, and that I'd always be there for her or some other generic bullshit. I seriously felt autistic for awhile. Anyways, she told me she loved me.

A got dumped a week later.