totse.com | Reading People

Timby · #1 2008-09-11, 10:34

I have a bit of a natural gift for reading people and I was hoping to improve on it. This thread may or may not belong here I'm not sure.

I was just wondering if anyone can recommend some books, articles, websites, anything really that deals with understanding the human condition a bit better. I know there are a few con-artist type books out there that deal with this sort of thing, but that's not really my aim here, although it would help too I guess.

I would just like to be able to look at someone, how they dress, interact etc. and be able to sum them up a bit better. I understand that a lot of this is something you must be born with to be particularly good at it, but still i'd like to try and sharpen myself a little, so I thought where else to ask but a forum that deals with society.

Does this make sense? Anyone have any input? Apologies if this isn't even close to the right place to discuss this kind of thing.

dagnabitt · #2 2008-09-11, 12:09

Psych 101
Social Psych 101
Behaviorism
Neuroscience
Cognitive Science
Abnormal Psych
Most Sorts of philosophy (IMO)
Sociology
Anthropology
Linguistics

etc...

Go to school. You aren't "born with it"for the most part.

Timby · #3 2008-09-11, 15:16

Ah well, people aren't borne knowing how to play basket ball, but if they are talented they pick it up easier than someone who isn't. That's more what I was referring to.

Do you have any specific recommendations regarding the classes you mentioned? Books? Articles? I am already in my 3rd year of computer science and I don't really plan on changing my major. This is more of a hobby of mine, for personal gratification. I was just looking for a kick in the right direction if anyone knew of some good links off hand, maybe even start a discussion about it.

Thanks for your reply though mate.

half-wit goon · #4 2008-09-11, 19:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timby View Post

I have a bit of a natural gift for reading people and I was hoping to improve on it. This thread may or may not belong here I'm not sure.

I was just wondering if anyone can recommend some books, articles, websites, anything really that deals with understanding the human condition a bit better. I know there are a few con-artist type books out there that deal with this sort of thing, but that's not really my aim here, although it would help too I guess.

I would just like to be able to look at someone, how they dress, interact etc. and be able to sum them up a bit better. I understand that a lot of this is something you must be born with to be particularly good at it, but still i'd like to try and sharpen myself a little, so I thought where else to ask but a forum that deals with society.

Does this make sense? Anyone have any input? Apologies if this isn't even close to the right place to discuss this kind of thing.

Well, I suppose you'd probably want to familiarize yourself with fashion (cost, what the groups their clothes tie them to), and speech patterns (use of slang, use of certain words to a particular geographic region, accents). Details, lots of details. There's a lot of details you need to pay attention to, if you are trying to generate genuine insights into people (ie: Dr. House someone). The outer can be as important as the inner. Reading people isn't an exact science though, the only real use of it is in real world practice, your actual interactions allowing you to hone your perceptions. Just sitting back and reading people as they pass you by doesn't mean you're making correct assumptions.

MR.Kitty55 · #5 2008-09-11, 19:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timby View Post

I have a bit of a natural gift for reading people and I was hoping to improve on it. This thread may or may not belong here I'm not sure.

I was just wondering if anyone can recommend some books, articles, websites, anything really that deals with understanding the human condition a bit better. I know there are a few con-artist type books out there that deal with this sort of thing, but that's not really my aim here, although it would help too I guess.

I would just like to be able to look at someone, how they dress, interact etc. and be able to sum them up a bit better. I understand that a lot of this is something you must be born with to be particularly good at it, but still i'd like to try and sharpen myself a little, so I thought where else to ask but a forum that deals with society.

Does this make sense? Anyone have any input? Apologies if this isn't even close to the right place to discuss this kind of thing.

Whenever I smoke weed or drop acid this happens to me but in the fullest intensity possible. Its really quite frightening sometimes, last time I smoked I had to leave a party and I didn't even tell anyone because of how strong it was. Its weird, when ever I smoke I just see through everyone's bullshit and at first I think its funny but then I reflect it back on to myself and recognize my own bullshit.

I think this is what Nietzsche meant when he said : "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. "

You start realizing everyone's bullshit and then you begin to realize your right there with them...

dagnabitt · #6 2008-09-11, 22:02

I think a good place so start would be a modern first Psych text book. Its not easy material, but if you had questions you could probably find everything online. More to what I believe you're getting at would be a good introductory book on social psychology. But really, all branches of Psych are relevant to each other. Its a very wide discipline. I applaud you for actually trying to learn about it though, as opposed to most people who think they already know everything.

Patterson · #7 2008-09-11, 22:25

I'm also very interested in this, I'm majoring in psychology and just started my second year. I'm taking social psychology now and I think that would help but it's only been 2 weeks so I'm just getting started and don't have anything that interesting to add.

Something I thought of on my own and have been trying to practice is questioning the goal or objective I was trying to achieve with my behavior. Often times the intended goal or objective driving my behavior doesn't match up with my actions, or I realize I could have taken a much more effective course of action. I've thought about trying to pick up on the goals or objectives others are trying to achieve with their behavior but I question the effectiveness of this as I could easily be making faulty assumptions.

As for reading I would suggest taking a look at The Interpersonal Diagnosis of Personality. I haven't looked at it in a while but that book does a great job at identifying the drives behind different types of behavior. Leary describes in detail 16 different types of personalities and the motivation behind them.

alooha from hell · #8 2008-09-11, 22:55

all you want to do is to be able to label a person before you actually get to know them.

Timby · #9 2008-09-13, 01:50

I know what you mean about reading people better when you are on acid or smoke some weed. I really analyzed this lead singer of a band once, my brother thought it was hilarious.

Thanks a lot for the posts/insights guys. I will have to try and find some e-books; "The Interpersonal Diagnosis of Personality" sounds like exactly what I am after!

It's interesting that you mention Dr. House aswell, I am a fan of the show

Looks like my holidays are set for some reading. Cheers again guys.

No sketch · #10 2008-09-17, 05:13

First reaction = Lol.
Second reaction = Yeah, I think I know what you mean. Growing up with my brother gives me the ability to read him like he is actually written in code. Its easy to pick up on people patterns if you are naturally perceptive of it, or if you just learn to pay attention.
mod. suggested some good general research vicinities you should pursue.