nothing ruins my very infrequent cannabis use more than dumb people. Like these two bitches were smoking me and my friends out in a car and they wouldn't turn off this stupid top40 nigger music, lil Wayne and shit. I hate shit hop and I asked to put in some decent hip hop or incubus but nope! And when my friend repeats how "fucking high" he is every two seconds. Fuck I hate dumb type tokers.

the few times i smoked with my brother he couldnt get off the couch and was moving his hands back and forth in front of him really fast. i guess i cant blame him, it was like his 2nd time and it was a lot of pretty good weed.

I don't smoke much anymore, but back in the day.. Ok, not back in the day, but a few months ago I had a 'friend' who smoked a bunch of ground up oregano and a pinch of weed and got 'baked'.

Of course, me and my other friend were smoking the good stuff and laughing our ass off because the person he had gotten it from told us about an hour before.

He tried to share, but we just said 'Naa man, you keep your shit, you payed for it.'

Haha it made my night, I was happy for the following 2 days just replaying the event in my mind.

I've known my fair share of idiots and most have been mentioned ITT. One particular time that stands out is outside a hookah bar some guys were going to smoke up and wanted to match. My friend and I get into his car (5 people) and he turns on his sound system he paid out the ass for and turns it way the fuck up. Keep in mind this is in a parking lot next to a somewhat busy intersection, where cops drive by a little bit more than occasionally. What kinda pissed me off was the shitty steamroller they had prepared using some toilet paper roll and a metal pen cap, but I could tolerate somewhat shitty stoner creations. The fact that this guy wanted to clambake a packed as fuck vibrating car by an intersection where I've seen cops pass by many a time, not to mention cops stop by the hookah bar to check ID's made me paranoid as fuck and got out after my turn. I'll take a calculated risk, but I'm not fucking stupid.

That's not that bad. I have done it myself several times. What gets me though, why the fuck was he smoking out of a cardboard roll if he had such a nice stereo?

You can never really judge someone off their first high. My first time I was running around my house laughing hysterically, moving my legs like a retard and pretending they were tires.

That's not that bad. I have done it myself several times. What gets me though, why the fuck was he smoking out of a cardboard roll if he had such a nice stereo?

You wouldn't (or maybe you would) believe how many pseudo-thugs (wiggers) come into the place where I work in their designer clothes and fake earrings to put $2.50 in gas in their Dodge Neon sitting outside on rims with the system up.

You wouldn't (or maybe you would) believe how many pseudo-thugs (wiggers) come into the place where I work in their designer clothes and fake earrings to put $2.50 in gas in their Dodge Neon sitting outside on rims with the system up.

I know exactly what you mean. They're 'nigger rich'. Plain and simple.

I know exactly what you mean. They're 'nigger rich'. Plain and simple.

i thought nigger rich was actually poor as shit.

i thought nigger rich was actually poor as shit.

They spend every dollar they have on trying to look 'fly'.

yea, i hate smoking with fucking dumbasses and shady people. one time i made the mistake of smoking with my good friend alex and his shady friends at lunch. it took us 2 goddamn periods to walk to the middle of the ghetto with these nigs and buy 2 dimes from a tweaker looking fellow, then we proceeded to roll 2 blunts in a random apartment buildings lobby, as cars, INcluding a few cop cruisers drove by with us in plain view...needless to say i missed 2 periods and walked into drivers ed middle of the period with bloodshot eyes reeking of weed.

Eh, I don't encounter any of this stuff often, because I learned how to avoid these kinds of idiots almost as soon as I started smoking.

I do, however, endure this one kid and his 15" and 12" subs because he gives away large amounts of money and weed as a hobby. He is really good at attracting the cops though, and causing all sorts of bullshit, but that's part of the fun for him.

There's one jackass that used to come by my friends' house whenever there was a party. I, personally, hated him but the rest didn't have much against him so no one ever told him to fuck off. Anyway, he'd show up and bitch about how high he was, then fall asleep on the couch in the middle of a fucking party. He'd then wake up and go find someone rolling/packing and without being asked declare "I'm in on that shit." or some variant of that. Pissed me the fuck off. Presumptuous cocksucker.

I was at a party where a chick smoked a single bong, flipped out and started hyperventilating and stuff saying how she thought she was gonna die. Half an hour later the pizzas arrived and the tubby bitch was at the front of the line. Not only did she make an issue she got first crack at the food.

At the same party I saw a guy show a chick how to smoke a gravity bong, without packing it or anything, just going through the motions. So she pulls it out of the water, mirrors what they guy just did, then asked how long it was going to take to hit her.

It was a pretty funny.

At the same party I saw a guy show a chick how to smoke a gravity bong, without packing it or anything, just going through the motions. So she pulls it out of the water, mirrors what they guy just did, then asked how long it was going to take to hit her.

I lol'd.

well just right now my new friend well im too high to remember his name
i met him today at school and he wanted to blaze so we bought a sack and chilled at my house.

He was chill before we blazed.
Then we went to go hotbox my room. We smoked about 3 bowls maybe 4
first bowl he was chill
second he was getting nervous
3rd he was all panicky looking around my room
4th hes like '' ah i gotta go home... i have homework and stuff... yeah ... okay so we'll smoke the rest of the bud on tuesday? .....''
I just laughed and said fer sur d000d.
he told me that he smokes weed every single day

That's not that bad. I have done it myself several times. What gets me though, why the fuck was he smoking out of a cardboard roll if he had such a nice stereo?

Probably because he spent every last penny on that pos car and as others said trying to look 'fly','phat' or possibly 'mad dope'.

I was at a friends house when like three 11-12 year olds come over and see the communal bong and say WHOOOOAAAHHHH IS THAT REAL!? we lol'd but then later the kids start demanding to get high and smoke from the bong, so liz lets them and they're the epitome of retarded little noobs who have never smoked before. One wouldn't shut the fuck out about how high he was waving his hands around in front of his face, another was sitting around buzzin with his eyes closed, and another one was running around like a jacked up little kid. That was INCREDIBLY stupid on her part allowing those little shits to smoke there. I wouldn't term them idiots but it was kinda uncomfortable for all parties 18+ years of age.

I mean, one of the kids was alright, but you all know how kids can't keep their fucking mouths shut and probably ended up bragging to their friends at school how high they got from a bong at ____'s house at ______street and _____ intersection. Stopped hanging out there, but for other reasons.

ALSO: smoking up girls and all is fine, but they better not fucking expect to get smoked up because of their warm crevice and saddlebags.

EDIT: POC is right on the money
One girl heard my friend whisper something to me and says "HAY, U GUYS HAVE COKE??!" in that stupid valley girl accent. I smiled and showed her the coca cola in my hand. But you know as well as I do every head at that party turned with anxious anticipation, and watched my friend and I for the rest of the party like hawks waiting for us to go into a locked room.

ALSO: smoking up girls and all is fine, but they better not fucking expect to get smoked up because of their warm crevice and saddlebags.

Well, they do, and most guys are more than happy to oblige regardless of how unrealistic the possibility is that they'll get some in the end.

That situation becomes so much worse with coke-- do not ever let it be known at a fairly sizable party that you just so happen to have a half ounce of blow in your pocket.

There are some real idiots out there people. I have seen many and some just really make me want to punch a baby. the thing that bothers me most is when im riding with a particular individual and we will be either in the process of smoking or smoked up he will start lookin at me when he drives and he will just have horrible focus when it comes to the road...he will swerve all the fucking time and when I make a point about it, it seems like he does it even WORSE...I then realized he does it all on purpose because if i don't say anything he will drive considerably better...

He also goes 70 down the fucking highway on a donut.

I hate it when people ask for a line of ching off of you at a party.

"Alright mate, good night? Don't suppose you could rack us up a wee one of them?"

"No, I don't fucking suppose."

Giving a random person seconds on a spliff I don't mind as long as it gets passed around after but if I'm paying forty quid for a gram of ching, why on earth do they think you'd give them anything free? However, people are desperate.

I smoking with this one bitch, and after we we're high, she just spit. but it fucking landed on my pants. And i made her wipe it off... and that killed my buzz.

I was at this party out in the woods one night and me and a friend of mine and this other girl were going off to smoke a bowl. I had already smoked a lot of weed that night and I was trying to be nice so I give the girl we were with the green hit. She takes the bowl and without putting it anywhere near her mouth tries to burn the trees and suck up the smoke, like it was literally a bowl with weed in it. After laughing my ass off I took the bowl out of her hands and my friend and I walked off to smoke it elsewhere.

I'm currently in southeastern michigan as well, and I think we have the same friend. lmao.

A person I know rolls with cuttings and tobacco using a rolling machine and he always manages to fuck up rolling them aswell. Then he claims he gets stoned on it..

I hate it when people ask for a line of ching off of you at a party.

"Alright mate, good night? Don't suppose you could rack us up a wee one of them?"

"No, I don't fucking suppose."

Giving a random person seconds on a spliff I don't mind as long as it gets passed around after but if I'm paying forty quid for a gram of ching, why on earth do they think you'd give them anything free? However, people are desperate.
Big up the Bristol crew inside

Smoking down by the main river in our city at night, pretty secluded. Then for some reason when we're about to leave we go sit on one of these log barrier things facing the carpark, I don't remember why. Anyway, my mate had his bong in a backpack, a closed backpack, and some cops roll up, shine thier lights on us and stop. So this guy spazzes out and grabs the bag and like gets down on the ground and sort of hugs it so they won't see his bag. I'm just like what the fuck, you goddamn moron, and I tell him to chill the fuck out and grab the bag off him and sit it on my knee.

Luckily the cops didn't seem to think this was weird at all, or maybe they didn't see it I don't know because they drove away. Then the three other guys proceeded to tell me how chilled out and smooth I was for not being a complete tard...

Back when I was new to weed, I was picking up a friend from her friend's house and somehow managed to take a couple hits of some really nice weed from her friend's stash. That, mixed with my low tolerance got me really high, but that's beside the point. We're on our way home and she turns on her rap shit that I can't stand and refuses to let me change the music to something that I liked. I'm like, hey! I'm driving here. I'm doing you a favor by taking you home and you don't let me listen to my music? We finally managed to settle on something we both liked, so it was all right kinda, but it still just pissed me off.

Also, my other friend, who claims she's "anti-drama" always keeps ranting about how this guy or that guy whatever, stuff I don't care about. She used to be really into drugs, fell out and is just getting back into it, and she's all "I wonder how bad so-and-so would freak out if he knew I was smoking" blah blah blah. All while holding the bong, while I, broke and wanting some weed is just kinda sitting there. I finally get her to take the hit, but gah! It's even worse when it's a blunt or a joint, something that's going to burn away and waste more weed while they're just, as someone put earlier in the thread, blithering away. (Note: It wasn't her weed, it was someone else's. We were smoking amongst the four of us).

The only people I really enjoy smoking with anymore are friends that I had before I started smoking that were stoners. I can count on one hand the number of them.

made a little bong, went to smoke with this kid that ive never smoked with before.......they always claim "yes ive smoked before i know what im doing"

after my hit i pass it to him, and exhales it, shooting out weed and soaking any that stayed in the bowl

and i cant stand kids that you have to tell them to chill the fuck out over and over again to make sure you dont get caught by parents.....but no matter how many times you tell them, they continue to run in circles and be loud idiots

ssoo many stories.

Theres been a couple times where your smoking with that kid who thinks hes the chillest toker blah blah, and he fucks up the joint.

One time this kid who is just the least chill smoker(wigger) ive ever smoked with. He tries to flaunt how much he smokes and stuff. And he started smoking a ton cuz he thinks hes cool. Well we were hitting a homemade waterfall bong, becuz he INSISTED that was more ghetto than a joint or blunt.. Also there were 2 other kids, one is a wicked chill kid ive ripped him down b4 cuz i love smoking with him, the other kid is a pussy and annoying(didnt know he was coming). Well the kid(huge wigger) who insisted on the waterfall bong had 2nd or 3rd hit exhaled and blew off the full bowl and the weed (all mine)... fuck. Then the other gay kid was like "o dude ur hitting it so good holy shit, blah blah blah". It was gay.

Another time this kid who's a huge fag, and tries to fashion himself as a stoner (fails miserably) was sayin how he got a wicked good deal on a fatty dime for $15...
He left his chillum in my car one day, and he never asked for it... so i kept that shit:)

Generally, everyone I smoke with (about 3 people almost every day, and 10 pretty regularly) is even chiller than me, and I'm pretty chill.

That doesn't mean I haven't had the experience of smoking with complete fucktards, people who were too paranoid, people who were oblivious, Etc.

The time which stands out to me most, I had just started smoking a few months earlier, and I was with 2 friends at one of their friend's houses out back, i didn't know him or anything, but i figured he would be cool so we smoked a joint, then a blunt, and i was chillin.

he said his mom was a vet, and he stole some valiums from her office, and he was selling em 3 for 5. i said, well ok cool, and copped 3. he then proceeded to get out this tray, and starts crushing up like 4 valiums.. i'm like ok, he's gonna snort some. then he goes for the grinder... ok.. he mixed his gross schwag in with the valium and he rolled another j, i didn't even hit that shit, i was a noob but i'd read totse enough to know he was just a fucking moron.

anyway, i popped those 3 and nothing fucking happened, and ended up going to his party the next weekend and jacking a handle of vodka.

kid turned out to of raped a passed out chick, left the school cuz he was completely ostracized, went to a new school, RAPED A CHICK THERE, and now no one likes him. just a fucking all around idiot.

oh and lesser extent,

this kid i used to know would never be able to keep his high at any sort of reasonable level, and he would be quitting bowls halfway through. anyway he'd always talk about shit like how he knows how to cure cancer, based on like a WebMD article. I forgot his idea but it went something like: "Ok, Cancer takes out blah cell, now all you gotta do is inject cancer patients with that cell!"

or he would have epiphanies about shit i already knew.

"dude.. we are our own god"

which is all fine, its just sometimes he would call me and say this shit, or ask me to stay on the phone while he followed us in his car, so none of us in my car could listen to music.. just wack shit.

This fuck nut tried takin a hit outa the still burning bowl on my bong. Of course he said he knew what he was doing so we laughed our asses off. Got fucking burning weed + Rancid bong water in his lungs. Lulz ensued.

I tend to be the guy that babysits the bowl and talks waaaay too much, but that is usually because I was asked a complicated question that requires such long windedness, and I realize it as soon as I get the first look of hurry the fuck up, and then hit and pass.

At least you notice it/have self awareness.

I can't stand the glassy eyed, grinning idiots who just hold the pipe and try to talk about shit they think is really deep and philosophical. Fucking annoying. I understand if you wanna smoke and chill - but Christ, cut the philosophy deep thinking bullshit. It's appropriate at some times - yes, but for the most part, I can't fucking stand it.

However those who sit there all glassy eyed, grinning and talk absolute bollocks... Priceless! :D

I do that too sometimes, but I try to pass it on right away if I catch myself doing it.

Haha I realized I do do this..

Except, the long-windedness isn't really necessary, and everyone I'm smoking with is usually too busy laughing at what i'm saying to even get pissed.

i guess i don't do real big sessions.

Early in my smoking career, I was probably 15 or 16, I used to smoke with this dude who would snort chalk dust and swear up and down that the stuff was getting him high.

It's not as if somebody was selling him bunk coke that was actually chalk dust, he would gather the dust himself and snort it recreationaly. Frankly, the kid was a retard.

He also fucked his sister, his own 12 year old little sister, and recorded it on a toy camcorder that was part of like a karaoke setup or some such shit. This information comes second hand from somebody that I trust with my life and has absolutely no reason to lie about the subject.

As a matter of fact, the first time I got high in my life was with this kid. He's actually dead now lulz, the situation surrounding his death is shady but from what I've been told from mutual friends is that he died is jail.

Uh, the last person would have had to be me i'm afraid :(.

So i haven't smoked weed or drank in about 3 months and before that i drank pretty much every day and smoked weed once or twice a week, then my kidneys shut down due to vasoconstriction of the veins leading to them or something and that was caused by one like of coke... yes one line and i've done about 50g's of coke in my lifetime that never and this one line does... :(

So anyways i get out of hospital and about 3 months later my brother asks me to come around for a quiet drink and watch some T.V so i accept and get there, drink about 8 cans of 5.1% lager (586ml cans) and i'm fucked at this point not drinking and all when my brother asks if i smoke weed. Of course i accept, we smoke about 3 joints and go back inside when i feel a tremendous urge to run to the toilet and throw up like a madman :( well you all know the rest i suppose. Doubt i'll ever smoke with him again after making a fool of myself like that.

I have two stroys both of them involve my cusin the first one is he was twelve years old we walked out in to the woods i told him you will never forget this smell as long as you live smoked a bowl with him and he was baked out his mind he just kept studdering couldnt understand what the fuck he was saying well we walk back to the house where chillin watchin tv and he gets up and takes his pants off at this point im like wtf are you doing dude then he walks into my grandparents room sits on the bed and stats talking to them like nothing was wrong I laughd my ass off at that one
second was about two weeks later me my friend aj and him go to a stream down the road and smoke two blunts back to back he ws fucked out his mind at this point we all start to walk back to ajs house to get something to drink and he falls int the water not once not twice but three times at this point me and aj are dieing we couldnt breath good times

.....

ive realized ive been the kid who cant roll but insists anyways. I only know this because now i can actually roll a decent joint and realize how garbage they really were. :(

I've had the misfortune of smoking with some chill people when this dumb ass tweaker crackhead shows up wanting in on it a few times. He's basically a buzz kill on legs. The only thing he talks about when he smokes bud is how much he likes to smoke crack. This is his third year in high school as a freshman. God I hate that kid. He's had a beat down long time coming... I'm just waiting for that day when it finally happens.

You can never really judge someone off their first high. My first time I was running around my house laughing hysterically, moving my legs like a retard and pretending they were tires.

That sounds cool. I thought I could move my face like the guy from the mask, then i thought my friend was playing guitar in a video for modest mouse. Then I saw myself as if i was playing counterstrike IRL. The mission was to burst in on the girls while they were changing (both were hot).

OK, this is one long read, but its probably worth it.

A 'Tinny' is a Kiwi thing, its a 'deal' of about NZ$20 worth of pot.
Its a 1/2th width peice of Ali foil rolled up with a stick or line of pot iside it, about 1gm or less, don't comment on it, its how its done.

A 'bottle' is a clear beer bottle with the base smashed off, its used for 'spotting'

The knives are two kitchen knifes with the tips heated up red hot on a gas stove, I guess our 'spotting' is what you might call 'Hot knifes', we never call it that.

A 'Spot' is a pea sized ball (flattened) of pot, very slightly more than what you can handle in your lungs at one time.

The 'Driver' drives the knifes, if you don't have a car licence, you can't drive the knives, in our circle anyway.
Spotee or spotter holds the bottle & inhales.

SwIms visiting a swimate & one of his coworkers is there.

SwIm sorta knew him, swIm mentions 'es going to the shop "anything you want?"
"yeah gets me this & this, I'll pay yah later.
SwIms "No pay me now, I'll get this & this"
"Oh I havn't got the money"
"Then how did you expect to get, This & this?"
"Oh you were going to pay for it"
"Like Fuk, don't fuk me 'round, Cash or I dash"
"Oh I got", fux aroun' in pockets, pulls out $5
SwIm"you jus said yah had no money, are yah fulla shit?"
Gets stuff, comes back, gives it to him.
Straight off its "Wheres the change"
"You have it?"
"No I ain't"
"Yes yah does, its in the bag" (paper shopping bag)
Larfs from everyone (Kiwi icon TV show was called 'Its in the bag")
"No its not, gimme the change"
"You HAVE the change, its in the bag with the reciept"
"No its not"
"Yes it fukkin is, look in the bag you dickhead"
"Ay, You can't call me a Dickhead"
SwIm "What? I just fukkin did, don't tell me I can't, right after I DID call you a DickHead, DickHead"
"Well wheres my fukking change then?"
"Its in the Fucking BAG DickHead, thats what I told YOU, YOU Dickhead!"
Hes confused now & so he looks in the bag, "Oh"

SwIms mate shouts a tinny, we get stoned.
----------------------
Next time swIm visits, he's going to the shop.
SwIm says "Aye, can you get me {orders items.} pulls out $5
"nah you fucked me around last time"
"Bullshit, YOU fucked YOU around"
"Nah, you fucked me around, remember you wouldn't give me my change"
"Bullshit, it was in the Bag" everyone Larfs again "REMEMBER?"
"Nah it took ages to get the change"
"Yes it did"
"SEE, you said it did".
"No I said it took YOU ages to get the change, I gave it to you when YOU got the bag, DICKHEAD"

"You can't call me a dickhead"
"SwIM "Yes I CAN call you a dickhead, I just did, like I did last time too, DICKHEAD!"
"Ah fukkit" & he goes to the shop.
Returns with items, not exactly what I asked for
"This isn't what I wanted, I said "??? & ?? @ X amount of $$"
"They didn't have that"
"Bullshit! they do, I saw it today"
(swIm figured out he was too lazy to check for it & got a smaller item for same $)
"OK, wheres the change?" (not THIS again!)
"Theres no change"
"Bull shit, wheres the receipt then"
"Theres no receipt"
"Bullshit, you always get a receipt" (just then I see the receipt, amongst the paper bags. Looks at it, points & swIm says),
"Here this is the receipt & IT says "I have X$ change"".
"Oh but petrol money, you walked there"
"Fucking petrol money my arse, thats the change, givit to me now"
SwIm pushs him, change falls outta his jacket pocket. SwIm picks up change, Huh!

Everone there is amused by all this, it IS funny, just not too him.

We sit down, eat food, swIm mentions that if
"HE shouts a Tinny, swIm will shout next time"
"But you never shout"
"Bullshit"
"You didn't last time"
"Yeah, HE did, you shout this time, I shout next time, OK?!"
"Oh fuk kit fukka fukkin fuc it"
He pulls out Tinny, puts out some spots, not all of the Tinny, just some, tiny spots too, fuckin tiny, takes a loooong time to do it too.
swIm "Nah, ALL the Tinny, not just small spots too, I wanna get stoned, not pebbled"
Larfz
"Oh, but I gotta have some for later"
"Nah, the deals for a whole Tinny, thats it"
grumble grumble grumble, puts out tiny spots
SwIm waits till they are all out & leans over & starts squeezing 2 spots into one spot, so theres 17 rather than 24.
"Ay, you can't do that!"
"I just did" (points) "See, look at that"
"Nah, but this way they last longer"
swIm "By the time we've finished that I'll be straight again"
Larfs again.
"But Its MY pot, not yours"
"They are MY spots, not yours"
"Its my pot"
"Good, I'll put my spots together so I have 5 big ones & you can have Ten tiny ones"
"But that not how I did it"
"I don't care, thats how I'm doing it"

We get stoned, also, he fucks around with the bottle, it should be in the right place for swIm to spot him, he's never ready & swIm has to adjust to get the knives right.

---------------------
Next day, my turn to shout, coworkers not there, swIm gets Tinny, we spot it up between Two of us.
---------------------
Next day, he turns up, swIms mate shouts Tinny (he shouted Tinny first time remember..)
--------------------
Next day he turns up again. SwIms got no pot.
"About time you shouted isn't it?" coworker says
"I did" swIm says
Coworker says"No you didn't, swimate did, remember?"
"Yeah, he did yesterday, I shouted the day before" swimate says.
"No you didn't"
"Yes I did, you weren't there"
"So you didn't shout me"
"Yeah, again, YOU weren't there, if you were you would have been shouted at"
(play on words there, coworker trys to figure it out...LOLZ)
Coworker "So its your turn"
"No its not, its your turn, (hes got a Tinny anyway)
"But it was your turn last time"
"No it wasn't, it was swimates turn" swimate agrees, fux up coworkers thoughts.
"So its your turn, I'll shout next time & then its my turn again." swIm says.
(this fuxxed him up more, its HIS turn to shout & swIm then has to shout TWICE in a ROW, that can't be bad, but right NOW it his turn to shout again, WTF? in the too hard basket?"

So he puts out the spots. We get stoned.
Hes all fucked up again with how to spot, he sets the bottle up right, then starts talking, swings bottle around, takes too long to pick it up etc etc.
---------------------

Next day, swIms got tinny, we sit there, swIm unloads tinny & starts making spots.
Except when swIm makes spots 'e makes 5 big ones each for swIm & swimate, & Ten little tiny tiny spots for coworker.....

This fuxxs the coworker off, tiny spots?!
but, Ten of them, hows this gonna work?.... So he complains....

SwIm "But THAAATS what you wanted, thats what you did yesterday, tiny tiny spots, not even spots, ahh, dots?, specks? What would YOU call them? Atoms?"
Lotsa Larfz again....
"Oh fukkit, My spot" say coworker, he turns to mate, swings bottle around, not looking at bottle now, starts talking.
SwIms got the spot balanced on one knife, ready with the other & says
"Fucking hurry up!"
"Yeah yeah, wait your paitence" still looking away.

The knifes are smoking, swIm gives up,
shoves knives & spot into the bottles mouth & lets go, smoke fulls up bottle.

Co worker turns around sees knives/smoke/bottle & fuxxs up,and trys to inhale from bottles base.
Figures out that thats wrong & then turns smoke fulled bottle around to inhale from the top,
knives fall out, that dosen't matter as the spots been spotted by then.

The bottles the right way round now, smoke in bottle and a haze around it too.
Sucks smoke out of bottle, too puzzled now.
Everyone Laughs
"Well thats what you asked for, innit?"

SwIms got coworker sorted out now, he now knows what NOT to do, hes tried all of that!

Kiwi jabber.

Just roll a jay or buy a piece. Christ, reading that was almost toture, but it reads like kiwi's talk, so it's pretty accurate. Just reading that guys bullshit made me want to throttle him.

...

Stop fucking using SWIM. You're not going to get LEOs banging your doors down for smoking some fucking weed. Even if you did get arrested for something more serious, using SWIM isn't going to protect you.

Stop fucking using SWIM. You're not going to get LEOs banging your doors down for smoking some fucking weed. Even if you did get arrested for something more serious, using SWIM isn't going to protect you.

And I seriously doubt many NZ cops read this trying to bust kids for pot.

Some friends came over to smoke and one of them brought a newbie smoker who was dead set on getting stoned, so of course we were willing to oblige and show this kid a good time.

We pack a pretty fat bong and it starts to go around the circle.

Despite our crystal clear directions about how to smoke a bong, on his first hit he just keeps hitting and doesn't pull the slider out. So, of course, he got a half assed hit and before he could pass it the smoke was stale.

Next time it came around him, again, decided to not listen to what we told him. Of course, this time he knew to pull the slider out, but we told him he needs to take small hits to start off. What's this fucker do? Fuckin' fills the bong with thick smoke, pulls the slide out, and instantly begins coughing like crazy.

The worst part about it? His mouth was still on the bong. The bowl was still more than half full, and this fucker coughs into the bong forcing all the water through the slide and out the bowl. So, not only did he ruin a good half a gram of dank buds or so, but he also got a bunch of bong water all over my floor.

Lesson of story: don't let new smokers use a bong.

The worst part about it? His mouth was still on the bong. The bowl was still more than half full, and this fucker coughs into the bong forcing all the water through the slide and out the bowl. So, not only did he ruin a good half a gram of dank buds or so, but he also got a bunch of bong water all over my floor.

Lesson of story: don't let new smokers use a bong.

Haha, I've had that happen too. It ended up like popping the weed out of the bowl though, so it didn't get wet.


Luckily, I've never had that happen to me. I know how to cough if I have to.

bullshit bullshit yabba dabba doo who gives a fuck anyhow.


Lesson of story: don't let new smokers use a bong.

true, but how can you hold a new smoker accountable?

true, but how can you hold a new smoker accountable?

for not listening...?

we gave this kid bucket bongs of doritos n shit we found in the woods when we were kids.
the same guy has also been passed a joint of cup a soup.

but now he has learnt not to be dumb

THE END


BTW, why does everyone play games with weed?
i like to just smoke it.

BTW, why does everyone play games with weed?
i like to just smoke it.

what are these games you speak of? i am yearning for a decent pot game, stupid ones are pointless, same goes with drinking games.

BTW, why does everyone play games with weed?
i like to just smoke it.

Same reason people play drinking games, to get fucked up and have a laugh, its just something different to the normal chilled sit around and smoke/drink.
Its ok occasionally, a few rounds of bud or traffic lights can be fun if your smoking with a decent group of people who know how to do it and can handle their weed.

This is a shitty story.

This is a shitty story.

I didn't even bother reading 'cause of "swIm"

I didn't even bother reading 'cause of "swIm"

SwIm pisses me off so much. Well a mixture of anger/immediate loss of respect of the person using it.

I SELL DRUGS TO BABIES!!!!

I hate when I'm sharing a bowl with some people, and being the nice guy I am, I always corner the green hit, then some asshat lights up the whole damn bowl, making the bowl go by much quicker than it would if the fucker didn't torch the whole bowl.

/rant

I'd always wondered if snorting kief would do anything. but normal weed, thats fucked

I highly doubt it would. THC isn't water soluble, and as far as I know there aren't any fat membranes in your nose :p

I could be wrong, though.

ya well thats what I figured and why I never tried it, lol.

i smoked with a couple of my sisters friends... one was the ditzy blond pothead type, the other just an average druggy girl. we smoked a bowl or mids, then a blunt of mids, by then the blond passed out on my bed... we were like "wanna smoke a dank blunt?" and she was just passed out cold... so the three of is smoked a dank blunt, and then they picked her up and took her to my sisters room...

i had a friend who wanted to smoke for the first time. and i only had dank and a bong so i was like "you sure man? this shit will be a mindfuck for you" and he was under the impression of "its just weed, whats the most it could do"... he was making jokes about cotton mouth and the munchies... so i let him smoke, packed a bowl for him, he ripped the bong so hard it was surprising he wasn't drinking bong water.... cashed the bowl in 1 hit, and said "im not feeling it". so i packed him another and told him he didnt have to inhale that hard. but he still did and cashed the bowl. still not feeling it, so he does another bowl. The kid was a born smoker, didn't even cough after 3 massive bong rips... but it hit him hard... shortly after his 3rd rip the kid was freaking out. screaming things like "IT HURTS TO THINK!" and in my stoned state all i could think of was "then stop trying to think". after a good psychedelic freak out on weed he calmed down when the munchies hit and he ate something... its strange, ive seen this kid freak the fuck out on weed, but i was also there for his first acid trip, he loved it... salvia, he broke through his first time and loved it. This kid has had reality ripped from the hinges and enjoyed it, but the first time with weed shook him up... but he was fine from then on.

me and my friend were hittin a bong in my backyard and he saw his friend walking down the road and screamed "Dude you wanna come back here and smoke some weed with us" like an idiot so my neighbor called the cops and it sucked

dude i would have just fucking bailed... and then never spoken to that guy again...

i was in the hallway on my way to the lunchroom, and i run into this kid that i always see in the lockerroom,
he says hes leaving to smoke some, his other friend asks if i wanna come, yeah sure

after we leave we're about fifty feet from the door and the a.p sees us, he yells something into his walkie talkie and starts our way,
i bolt down the block at mach five speed,

so after i'm in the clear i run into a group of girls that were cutting too, they were joking about how i ran like the fucking wind,

as i'm talking with them the other two from before find me, and we ask the girls if they wanna smoke, they do

so we smoke blah blah, one of them gave everybody a shoddy,

then i say i'm gonna try to get back into school for the rest of my classes, so me the kid that i knew from the locker room and one of the chicks head back to school

on the way she starts saying to keep an eye out for her dad, cause "hes on my ass about the way i act"

i'm like what do you mean, she says "well i got a reputation here you know?" i smile , yeah i know,

later on she says "i'm hoping i get a chance to say whats up to you", i say yeah i think you will, (her)-- "hallway, stairwell ally, dont be scared to say whats up, i dont bite" -- "ya know, i always thought if you knew a person, may aswell ask whats up," "OH-- if you run into me, and i'm askin whats up to another guy, if its okay with him i dont mind greeting a few guys together,"

when she makes it to her class the kid (stoned as fuck) whispers to me "DUUUUDE, SHES GONNNA BLOW YOU"
i'm like, i dont have to pay right?

now i know to never ever go to new zealand

later on she says "i'm hoping i get a chance to say whats up to you", i say yeah i think you will, (her)-- "hallway, stairwell ally, dont be scared to say whats up, i dont bite" -- "ya know, i always thought if you knew a person, may aswell ask whats up," "OH-- if you run into me, and i'm askin whats up to another guy, if its okay with him i dont mind greeting a few guys together,"

"say whats up?" "greeting a few guys together?"

wtf????

I'm surprised that nobody seems especially shocked by the fact that I smoked with a dude who fucked his little sister.

Fucking totse.

A hole is a hole is a hole.

after thinking about it... your right

it's fucking sexy.

Say "corner it" you timid motherfucker.
I'm surprised that nobody seems especially shocked by the fact that I smoked with a dude who fucked his little sister.

Fucking totse.

I'm suprised

But then again I've smoked with 2 rapists

one raped 3-4 passed out chicks
and the other raped his cousin

so not much shock

Ah Ha! Asbergers..
Yeah swIm does that all the time too, just see my post..

Nz is too small to not use the 'swim' thing.
Kiwis allready 'figured someone out' from a quote that was put on the web.
It was a long weird connection thru a bunch of several people, but it connected.
I was going to disclose the fact & then figured its not worth it.

Funny'y enough I just did a similar thing the day before & the people wouldn't have believed it except they both listened & then they told me the connection after questioning me about where I'd seen the picture. This is how it happened..

I see a random picture,> travels 800 miles away,> sees friend & friends Girlfriend (never met her before)> Girlfriend has similar picture on the wall,> I talk about seeing similar picture 800miles away.
Friends Girlfriends Mother drew the original picture!

I read a add in the paper & knew who placed the add right away, the word/s were 'missing link'.

I knew I had a connection to a well known Tv personality, just wondered who it was.
Found out last week (two different ways!) who the person was.

So swIm I am.

Don't you 'Spot' pot in America? It gotta be the best way to do it, much more 'Bang for your buck' & camaraderie with friends.
Sorry about the thread space....

idiots who hit a bowl and keep fuckin talking about some nonsense and think you arent noticing that they are hogging that shit..and you put in on that shit

Ah Ha! Asbergers..
Yeah swIm does that all the time too, just see my post..

Nz is too small to not use the 'swim' thing.
Kiwis allready 'figured someone out' from a quote that was put on the web.
It was a long weird connection thru a bunch of several people, but it connected.
I was going to disclose the fact & then figured its not worth it.

Funny'y enough I just did a similar thing the day before & the people wouldn't have believed it except they both listened & then they told me the connection after questioning me about where I'd seen the picture. This is how it happened..

I see a random picture,> travels 800 miles away,> sees friend & friends Girlfriend (never met her before)> Girlfriend has similar picture on the wall,> I talk about seeing similar picture 800miles away.
Friends Girlfriends Mother drew the original picture!

I read a add in the paper & knew who placed the add right away, the word/s were 'missing link'.

I knew I had a connection to a well known Tv personality, just wondered who it was.
Found out last week (two different ways!) who the person was.

So swIm I am.

Don't you 'Spot' pot in America? It gotta be the best way to do it, much more 'Bang for your buck' & camaraderie with friends.
Sorry about the thread space....
You are very difficult to read.

Don't you 'Spot' pot in America? It gotta be the best way to do it, much more 'Bang for your buck' & camaraderie with friends.
Sorry about the thread space....

I didn't even really know what spotting was until your post. We just use bongs/bowls/blunts/joints/etc.

Funny'y

i hate when people get a bowl passed to them and think its fair game to take as many hits as they please...

"say whats up?" "greeting a few guys together?"

wtf????

EXACTLY!!

at first i didnt get it, then that shit hit me like a brick.

i saw her in the hall today and she pulled me aside and said "you're lucky i got a class i cant get out of", winked and walked off

people that dont realize that "puff puff pass" isn't the same with glass as it is a joint or blunt...

In my noob days I thought that I should introduce everyone to weed. My first high was epic and I felt like I had life all figured out and everyone needed to see it through the same eyes. I've had a lot of bad experiences because of this but this particular one was not my idea (thank fuck).

So I used to work in a grocery store deli, standing for 9 hours taking orders from assholes who complained no matter what you did. One night it's 10 o clock and I get off the bus and start sprinting home cause I just had to get high and relax, I couldn't even wait the 5 minutes to walk home. Running down my dark street I see what looks like my friend talking to another guy who happens to be lieing on the side walk. This is where I should've pretneded not to see and went home but obviously I had to greet my friend and see what's up. It was my friend (lets call him George) and his friend Matt (who I knew from a few soccer matches) lieing beside him. Apparently Matt had told George that he hits the bong all the time, so they both smoked in the park, when after a couple tokes off a bowl Matt goes crazy. He's lieing infront of me telling me he's going to die and that he needs water so I think fine, whatever, my hosue is right there I'll get you some water. I come out my side door with a glass and he's lieing in my driveway. Instead of thanking me he tells me he needs me to feed him too. I was done with helping him at that point and I wished my friend a good night and started to go back inside when he convinced me that I should stay with him because he doesn't want to be alone with this retard. I decided to stay with George on the condition that we go to his house so I can watch tv or something and not have to listen to Matt. We're trying our best to walk him to Georges house when he fuckign spazes and says "FEEL MY HEART GUYS I THINK I'M DIEING" and grabs my hand and puts it on his chest. I told him his heart is fine and to stop worrying but when we get into Georges basement he starts asking us "GUYS WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF CANCER". I stopped bothering with him at that point so my friend tells him to shut the fuck up and he stands up, pukes on Georges floor and then sits back down. "I'm queevering guys" he kept saying. George just sadly reminds me that Matt only took 2 tokes and I keep jokingly trying to leave. Then Matt tells George that he needs to sleep over. "But it's only 11, you'll be fine in like an hour". "NO GEORGE YOU HAVE TO LET ME SLEEP HERE". I think he might have made some other gay request for food as well. Not to mention trying to get us to feel his heart another 50 times. He ended up falling asleep so I went home to finally burn and relax and George says when he went down in the morning he wasn't there so he probably woke up and dipped real quick out of embarassment.

The funny thing is, I was talkign to this kid at school about the incidence who was one of Matts close friends and apparently he's done the same thing more than once. He even knew about the word "queever" that makes no fucking sense that he says when he's high. He still claims to smoke weed and George even heard him talking about how he "needed to try coke".

Now every time one of my friends gets really high (mushrooms or something, not weed) we say "I'm queevering".

That's probably more fucked then the guy who fucked his sister.

That's probably more fucked then the guy who fucked his sister.

not at all. a jackass had a panic attack, everyones seen it happen. ive never met someone that fucked their sister.

I told him his heart is fine and to stop worrying but when we get into Georges basement he starts asking us "GUYS WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF CANCER".

I lol'd.

not at all. a jackass had a panic attack, everyones seen it happen. ive never met someone that fucked their sister.

I was kidding. And anyways didn't exposo come close to fuckign his sister like all the time. It makes more sense to me then queevering, pussy is pussy.

A queef is a pussy fart. Your friends are farting through their vaginas.

A queef is a pussy fart. Your friends are farting through their vaginas.

You seem to not be able to read.

I wouldn't put up with anything like that, the only people i smoke with are my best friends, If something like that happens, everyone says and it's not just left.

You wouldn't (or maybe you would) believe how many pseudo-thugs (wiggers) come into the place where I work in their designer clothes and fake earrings to put $2.50 in gas in their Dodge Neon sitting outside on rims with the system up.

LMAO!

YOOo WORK IN A GAS STATION!!!!!!

LMAO!

YOOo WORK IN A GAS STATION!!!!!!

Hey! I'm a clerk. Get it right.

So I used to work in a grocery store deli, standing for 9 hours taking orders from assholes who complained no matter what you did. One night it's 10 o clock and I get off the bus and start sprinting home cause I just had to get high and relax, I couldn't even wait the 5 minutes to walk home. Running down my dark street I see what looks like my friend talking to another guy who happens to be lieing on the side walk. This is where I should've pretneded not to see and went home but obviously I had to greet my friend and see what's up. It was my friend (lets call him George) and his friend Matt (who I knew from a few soccer matches) lieing beside him. Apparently Matt had told George that he hits the bong all the time, so they both smoked in the park, when after a couple tokes off a bowl Matt goes crazy. He's lieing infront of me telling me he's going to die and that he needs water so I think fine, whatever, my hosue is right there I'll get you some water. I come out my side door with a glass and he's lieing in my driveway. Instead of thanking me he tells me he needs me to feed him too. I was done with helping him at that point and I wished my friend a good night and started to go back inside when he convinced me that I should stay with him because he doesn't want to be alone with this retard. I decided to stay with George on the condition that we go to his house so I can watch tv or something and not have to listen to Matt. We're trying our best to walk him to Georges house when he fuckign spazes and says "FEEL MY HEART GUYS I THINK I'M DIEING" and grabs my hand and puts it on his chest. I told him his heart is fine and to stop worrying but when we get into Georges basement he starts asking us "GUYS WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF CANCER". I stopped bothering with him at that point so my friend tells him to shut the fuck up and he stands up, pukes on Georges floor and then sits back down. "I'm queevering guys" he kept saying. George just sadly reminds me that Matt only took 2 tokes and I keep jokingly trying to leave. Then Matt tells George that he needs to sleep over. "But it's only 11, you'll be fine in like an hour". "NO GEORGE YOU HAVE TO LET ME SLEEP HERE". I think he might have made some other gay request for food as well. Not to mention trying to get us to feel his heart another 50 times. He ended up falling asleep so I went home to finally burn and relax and George says when he went down in the morning he wasn't there so he probably woke up and dipped real quick out of embarassment.

This reminds of a story i meant to post earlier.

So this chick I know were going through this little stoner phase id call it. Shed smoke all the time before/after skool, whenever she could. So one day shes hanging with her best friend and like 2 other kids. (well call the stoner joyce, the other one is carmen) Joyce wants to smoke, the 2 other kids are stoners so they say why not. The two girls had two classes they could skip at the end of the day. So they go puff a bowl or two in the woods and start walking back. Suddenly Carmen was went from normal to cmopletly freaking out. She was like "OMG GUYS IM FUCKIN DYING, LIKE NO SERIOUSLY GUYS I THINK I MIGHT DIE. IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK" and this went on for awhile. So Joyce brings Carmen to Carmen's mom who works at the school, and she took her to the hospital. And in the end Carmen was fine and they both got grounded.

Fast forward a year later. At a party im puffin a bowl with a couple guys, she asked to hit it and it was my weed but i like her so i let her. She takes one or two hits then does the exact same shit again lol. She spent the rest of the night being babysit by ppl at this kids house, saying she was freaking out and she thought she was dying again, and how her heart was all fucked up.

P.S. shes a huge drama queen

1. HOT incest WiNcest ultimate taboo.

2. Tell more.

Used to smoke with this girl who was letting the dogs out

She would smoke, walk away, then when she was on some field we would whistle for the dogs, they'd go nuts, draggging her everywhere, then, when she would finally have 'm under control, we'd whistle again

good times

Wait, who let the dogs out?

Say "corner it" you timid motherfucker.


I'm suprised

But then again I've smoked with 2 rapists

one raped 3-4 passed out chicks
and the other raped his cousin

so not much shock

timid motherfucker is SUCH a good band name

Wait, who let the dogs out?

Who? who?who?who?
Who let the dogs out?

Who? who?who?who?
Who let the dogs out?

Not you.

Not you.

You one unfriendly motherfucker

^ Be glad you weren't strung up by your feet and beaten with nailbats for bringing up that annoying pop culture reference everyone tried their damned hardest to repress.

Well put.


That song reminds me of Scrubs when I hear it, so it's not too terribly bad. I dunno.

Smoking with 3 sophomores from high school.

They smoked 4 or 5 bowls in a row with me and then attacked my box of Ritz crackers.

One ended up puking brown shit into my garbage can and passing out on my couch.

They both ate two and a half packs each.
And tons of old ass candy.
Guess it didn't settle with them well.

Now I remember one.

last year I met this kid who was a senior, I was a junior, basically he said, call me friday and we'll smoke down.

me and my other friend smoked until we ran out, then i called him up and we met at McDonalds. They wanted to smoke right there, sitting with the sunroof open with smoke pouring out. There was a cop maybe, 75 yards away at a Dollar Store, and tons of people going in and out. We tried to get him to move but he kept saying "nah this is chill" and hitting it out in the open. i took 1 more hit and then we peaced out.

I hate smoking with weak minded idiots who insist on stuffing their faces with disgusting shit - SECONDS after the last bowl has been cashed.

They wanted to smoke right there, sitting with the sunroof open with smoke pouring out. There was a cop maybe, 75 yards away at a Dollar Store, and tons of people going in and out. We tried to get him to move but he kept saying "nah this is chill" and hitting it out in the open. i took 1 more hit and then we peaced out.

The idiot in this story is you.

The idiot in this story is you.

I'm curious; is he an idiot for taking that first hit to begin with, or for-- God forbid-- believing that the possibility of getting busted in that situation was actually a plausible one?

i hit a bong from the stem my first time, i don't smoke weed.

The idiot in this story is you.

You're right, getting caught is so much fun, he should of wanted to. Damn he's a dumbass.

I remember just like last week I smoked with my good friend who normally pisses me off when we smoke, so I've only smoked with him like 3 times.

He finally brought some of his own weed that he got for free, this kid is the biggest scavenger, he's high like all year but he's only bought about 10 dollars worth of weed. Whenever you want to go in with him he has no money.

He takes about 4 hits, I take about 4 hits, and my girlfriend takes about 4 hits and we are all pretty high. Me and my gf sit down and chill and we notice my friend is like shaking and making weird ass noises. He looks over and he's like 'Don't try and act straight just let it go be fucking highhhhh omg whats going onnn I need more I need another hit ahh uh hhugghh ghuuuu "

Most of the time he does this with my stash, and wants to keep smoking even though he's on the verge of turning into a retard.

And then he ridicules me for acting straight and trying to "play it off".

yeah I'm fucking high as hell butt I'm not going to go do karate in the middle of the room like you buddy.

http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z195/FearMeIAmLag/notlolwutpearuw5.jpg

Yeah I hate that, fine if it's his bud though..

me and my friends do a pretty strict buddy system, when we have it we share it and when we don't we expect to be smoked out. it all comes out in the wash.

but i do have a buddy who always wants to push the limits, when its my dro. then when it's his, he loads a skimpy ass bowl and says "i'm good" when its over and i have just a buzz going. but i don't smoke with him anymore, he had to quit, and now he drinks and always buys the beer so its all gooooodd.

I knew a kid who only smoked with bbq lighters so he wouldn't smell like weed.

I wasn't present for this one, but one of my buddies was smoking with these dudes in his car, and from a distance a cop rolls around the bend. Seeing as they were parked legit, the cop was a good distance away, and the car was not smokey they would have been fine. The key word there is would. This idiot that was in the car decides to jump out of the car and book it into the woods nearby. Needless to say the cop saw it got suspicious and came over to talk to them, long story short they all got busted for posession because of this one idiot who got away.

SO this girl I hardly knew hits me up on AIM. She knew I smoked on occasion and asked if I could smoke up with her and her friend sometime. Now I don't smoke too often and when I do its with the right people, but come on smoking out 2 girl (both pretty nice) seemed like a fun time.

It wasnt. Starting off I let this friend of the girls roll, she said she sucked but seeing how they where the ones that wanted to smoke and they where paying I thought why not. It was a shitty loose thing so right then I knew they weren't experienced.

We start by chilling on this girls front porch and then go in to watch some TV. At this point one blunt was smoked between three people. I try to get comfy on some sofa thing and enjoy myself with one of the girls when one of them started buggin. She starts to shake and say "guys I dont feel good". It got progressively worse and basically a full on panic attach ensued. She told her friend she was getting hot so this friend started to poor water on her and rub it into her face. It was amuseing for a time but after that just pissed me of. I ended up watching TV alone with sobbing noises in the corner to the tune of"Im gonna die" and her friend comforting her.

Worst of all was that this girl was my ride home, and it figures she was fine and not "gonna die" maybe an hour latter.

So yeah I hate babysitting someone that hits me up in the first place. I understand a first timer but it not like I my self have some crazy tolerance. Meh I guess you just got to pick your people.

We start by chilling on this girls front porch and then go in to watch some TV. At this point one blunt was smoked between three people. I try to get comfy on some sofa thing and enjoy myself with one of the girls when one of them started buggin. She starts to shake and say "guys I dont feel good". It got progressively worse and basically a full on panic attach ensued. She told her friend she was getting hot so this friend started to poor water on her and rub it into her face. It was amuseing for a time but after that just pissed me of. I ended up watching TV alone with sobbing noises in the corner to the tune of"Im gonna die" and her friend comforting her.

Hahaha thanks for the lulz