My mom and dad are going through a tough time in their marriage. My dad eight months ago told my mom that "he didn't feel the same way about her that he used to" and was thinking about getting a divorce. He told her he didn't want to jump to any conclusions, and wanted to use the "wait and see" approach. They thought I was figuring things out, so two months after their big talk he decided to call me at 9:30am at college and tell me the big news. I came home that weekend and basically ripped him a new asshole, calling him selfish and absurd. He's always been the type that would work on something until he gets it right - a true computer programmer mindset. He started his own computer consulting business 7 years ago which has been riding the fence finanically for all 7 years, he started a superficial hobby of photographing wannabe models whenever he's not programming, and he even bought a building to turn into a studio. Instead of playing catch with his son, he's shooting women that are willing to exploit their bodies in ways I didn't think imaginable all over the internet for "fame" and "money."

Granted, he says he's never shot any of them in that way, my mother has her menopausal radar up and is constantly trying to catch him doing something wrong. Her hormones are driving me crazy because they make her into a 13 year old girl. She's constantly trying way too hard for his attention at home, trying to put on more makeup, dye her hair a different shade, cook a meal differently, etc for him to notice. She over exhausts conversation and drops everything she is doing when he comes home. Last night, I was talking to her and as soon as he came home she ignored me. I would say something and she wouldn't even notice I was there. She's constantly crying and whining about how life is against her and how her whole life will be ruined if he leaves her, but yet she won't get up the balls to ask him herself. All of her venting is taking a toll on me, and whenever I try to tell her that she makes it come off as I am as selfish as my dad. There is only so much you can vent about in 8 months time; I think I've heard it all.

While my mom likes to talk nonstop about it, my dad is the complete opposite. He bottles everything up. If you ask him about it, he can turn any subject away from it's original path. It's hard to catch on to sometimes, but he does it. I hate that about him, and I don't know how to approach him about anything. My mother is trying to get me to do all of the questioning, and essentially I am stuck in the middle of everything playing the telephone game. I want it to stop.

I don't know what to do to make this right. The reason I come home is to play my drumset because I obviously can't have one in my dorm room at university. But I don't want to walk into a hell hole every time I do. It's not fair to anyone, and I need some help from those of you who have mid-life crisis parents, divorced parents, or on-the-rocks parents. How do you deal with this? What can you do to get them to talk to eachother, and get them to essentially shut the fuck up?

My dad has the power to turn any question into a joke in which he doesn't answer the question in the slightest. It's annoying as shit.

I wish there was a solution to this. However there isn't. There not compatible anymore they're just going to bitch at each other as long as they are together. My parents divorced way back in the day, when I was just a wee lad. The best thing to have them just shut the fuck up is to separate them.

Thats a tough question. My best idea would to be just try to let them sort it out. Maybe it will get better.. maybe it wont. But my parents have been divorced since before i can remember so i cant really tell you what to do.

Get her a fucking job that'll keep her occupied.

My parents went through a rocky patch about 12 years ago when I was 16 and it was very unpleasant. For one thing my dad started going to "work" at like 1:00AM and then my mom would want to sit with me and rock me like a baby while she cried and said "Men are scum" over and over again. I never actually heard them fighting, but then...They never really talked at all when I was around back then. It was all very uncomfortable...Especially when my mom decided that their marital problems were MY fault and then instead of rocking me like a baby she started screaming at me and hitting me all of the time.

boo hoo, why dont you complain some more

stereotypical woman, always the victim

maybe it was your fault

MDMA. You have nothing to lose.

She has a job, she pulls in most of our income basically because his business isn't going anywhere. So shut the fuck up with your unclever jokes.

i lol'd

and read through this whole thread without anything to contribute. Sorry OP, good luck.

Don't make these decisions for your parents based on what YOU want. Look at what each of them want. Your dad wants an independent woman with good looks and whatnot........ your mother is not that. your mother wants a man to hold her and tell her everything will be ok......your dad is obviously not that. look at the big picture. Once you let your parents sort out what needs to be sorted out, you will feel a lot better when they both find their own happyness.....right now neither one of them is happy and that is not good for YOU. so ditch the perfect image bullshit and let both of them know that you jsut want them to be happy......

tell your mom that your dad isnt good for her(you wont convince her but maybe u can get through to her and support her)......tell your dad how bad your mom is hurting and that if he is gonna leave he should make it quick and as painless as possible.