Those little things that piss me off:

- Waking up to your room smelling like sex, when you havent had sex for 2 months
- The little plastic thing under the cap of juice containers thats stuck on fucking hard. but theres no tab to pull it off. so you find a corner and reef, and get covered in orange juice.
- Crows eating your garbage.
- The juice in the bottom of the bin
- Being fucking tired, and spilling a cup of liquid right before you're about to go to bed.
- No hot water on a cold morning
- Waking up in the middle of the night, realising you put your fan on too high. Your face is cold but the rest is warm under the blanket. Your eyes are also super dry for some reason.
- When you stream something on the internet, and right before the best bit happens, your internet cuts out / it just stops loading for some reason, or the bastard that put it up cut the video off short.
- Women that play mind games, and when you catch them out, they cry and make you feel like an asshole.
- Broken laptop screens that fall down under their own weight
- A missing key on a keyboard, so you have to hit that fucking rubber grommet instead.
- Running out of toothpaste before work, so you have to go to work with morning breath / until you get gum or some more toothpaste.
- When you sneeze on a tv / computer screen
- Shaving
- Not being able to get comfy
- Dropping your phone, and your battery / sim / cover explodes across the room, leaving you to find them.
- A skipping cd.
- People that think myspace is new. Also, people over 25 that use myspace.
- Those bastards that send you all the facebook invites for 'growing pets' and shit. Nobody likes that.
- A headphone or speaker that has blown, letting out crusty bass.
- People who walk slow.
- People who drive slow.
- People who smell really bad.
- When my car stalls because the engine wont run under 4000rpm because my passenger distracted me from revving.
- When some fluffyhead gives me crap for driving a Datsun (then proceed to pwn him in a race).
- Old people.
- People who dont use indicators
- People that get Southern Cross tattoos
- That booger in your nose that no matter which finger you use or which angle to take, JUST WONT COME OUT!
- Idiots who think electrical tape makes cool GT stripes...
- Kids who where short denim jeans and have there asses hanging out...
- Kids who think FLURO IS STILL COOL.... maybe in the 80s not now...
- Chicks who get pregnant so they can earn more money on the dole
- P platers who try and race you in there pulsars.....
- P platers who think burnouts in there fully hektic utes at wellington point are cool? THERE NOT..... AND I LAUGH everytime you bastards HIT THE GUTTER!!
- Old people who complain about the noise of my car. IT'S A RACE CAR FOR FUCKS SAKE!
- Old people who complain that I'm going to crash into a tree. For fucks sake, I have $400 (each) tyres which they use in touring car races. THE CAR STICKS TO THE ROAD LIKE HOW SHIT STICKS TO A BLANKET!
- Too much makeup on girls
- Also when people leave indicators on! It's a bright green flashing light right in front of you! It goes click-click-click! How can you not notice! WTF?!?! FFS, learn to drive, or buy a fucking pushbike!
- My GPS falling off. When I'm doing 200k's an hour, it's a bit hard to pick it up off the floor and stick it back up on the windscreen or dashboard or whatever. Dear GPS manufacturers: MAKE SCREW-IN HOLDERS! NOT THOSE SHITTY SUCTION CUPS!
- Ugly, fat girls who have massive "PLAYBOY" stickers on their car. Does not make you any prettier.
- When my brakes don't work because they aren't warmed up and having to use my handbrake. HANDBRAKE DOESN'T WORK WELL AT 200K'S AN HOUR!
- When I'm stuck at the lights and my tyre's cool down so they don't stick.
- People who are too lazy to put new piston rings in. YOUR CAR IS BURNING OIL! IT'S STINKY AND FUCKING ANNOYING! YOU ARE NOT A 2-STROKE!

You need to calm down.
Have some cake

One thing that really pisses me off is that these fucking Iranians still don't know how to hang people properly, even after all this time and so many customers. I always thought when you hung someone properly, they just went straight down, their neck got broke, and that was game-over. Not in fucking Iran. Over there, they raise you slowwwwly off the ground, with a crane hoisting the noose around your neck. One minute your feet are planted firmly on the pavement, the next you're neck is stretched inch by inch, leaving you running around in circles in a wide arc, like you're trying to run the Olympic 100 meter dash on the end of the rope. It ends up like a mime of a bicycle rider in a hot work-out, pedaling away madly in mid-air for at least a minute or two... and then gradually reduced to the odd kick and twitch. Stupid fuckers just can't seem to get it right. Here's a great example of these morons at work. The following link is graphic in nature. Check out the one in the middle, proving that fucking Iranians just don't know how to do the job properly. There's no excuse for this shit. Really.

Spectra, on this one I will disagree with you. Pull them fuckers up slow and let them suffer just like their victims

lawl comment

... but... just for having a 2-year past-due library book?? That's kinda harsh in my world.

I am sure there is is a long waiting list for the best seller 'Jihad for Juniors'

this made me lul

Ill second that motion.

I think the two on the outside are fakers. They hardly even twitch up there. It's my belief that most of these guys just hold their necks really tight for about 30 minutes, hanging there playing possum (but peeking once or twice, I'm sure), then they crawl out of their coffins that night when nobody's around. Hey, the dude could'a been doing neck-pull exercises down at the old jail-cell for weeks before the actual event! Just goes to show that the old fashion drop, stop and pop is a much more efficient method of hanging. Amateur executioners really piss me off.