Shit..where to start.


Background info: I was best friends with this girl back in 8th grade in a non sexual way (although she now tells me she was obsessed with me) and I was shipped off for about a year and a half. When I got back, I met her again in about 6 months (so about 2 years total I didn't see her). I had sex with her the second time I saw her and we we kicked it all the time for 3months before we started in a relationship. She told me that when she was away she was a chronic alcoholic and would black out repeatedly. She hung out w/ a lot of shitty people I knew of (tweakers and drug addicts) as well as guys 18-24 year old (she is 16 now). At first I thought this was fun (I was/am a chroic hard drug user) but then the realization came over me that she was a drunk and was probally a slut. She claimed to have only slept with 4 people before me. She said I was her first real boyfriend, that she has had really close guys before but never a real boyfriend and feelings to this extent. She has always been telling me how amazing I am, how that I will always be in her heart and nothing can change it. During the 2nd month of our relationship or so her "ex boy" came into play. She used to always talk about him until I told her to shut the fuck up. He is 22 or so, a drug addict, has a wife that he cheated on with my gf etc. So she asked me if I wuold mind if she saw him and I told her no fucking way, no contact at all. At the begining of the relationship I would have issues with her doing shit that I thought was inapropriet. She would do things that wern't that big of a deal, but I feel are wrong to do in a relationship. Such as calling guys "hun" or "babe" on IM and saying "but I always say that.." She got high w/ another guy one on one one time and I let her have it. She makes these small mistakes and blaims it on the fact that she has never had a boyfriend before and doesn't understand it. She has done a REALLY REALLY good job with in the past 3 months for sure. Amazing gf. She fucks me everytime I see her, at least 1 time per day we see each other.


In the past week she has become more emotionally distant. She didn't ask 10 questions when I told her that I was going to hang out w/ my drug dealer (she normally flips and asks a bunch of questions because we don't get high w/o each other now). She ALWAYS does this, and just said "ok have fun."

This triggered me to believe something was up and that I was going to validate her and read her myspace/emails. 1) ALL of her sent messages (outbox) was erased. ALL of them. But for some reason, her inbox wasn't, or at least I didn't think that any were deleted. This was odd and a big red flag. But at the same time, she is on probation and it would make sence that she shuold delete her outgoing


1)I saw that she was conversing w/ a kid in one of her rehabs. She said she was pissed at him for being such an asshole, that she had a boyfriend (me) and for him not to talk to her in a sexual way because she was completley in love w/ her boyfriend (me). This appeared good to me at first, but then I kept reading back for a few months back and shit starts to develope. They were MUCH more then "just friends" as she put it to me in discussing this person before. She would make a joke about this kid in her rehab who blahblahblah, he was just a friend.... Wow. This kid was INSANELY in love with her. She claimed to be in love with him. Firstly, she talked to him EXACTLY the same way she talks to me...always in my heart, forever and ever, i could never leave you, etc. etc. Then she puts the cold shoulder on him in over 1 abrupt message. Not a slow decay, just bam. So, obviously they were more then just friends and has been communicating w/ him after i said no ex's. She treated him similar to how she treats me, and then she broke his heart.

2She talked to EVERY FUCKING GUY with words like "hun, babe, baby, boyaa" so fucking flirtacious! From the most unatrractive guy to the good looking ones. WTF? To me this screams slut whore skank, but at the same time she has been like that 6th grade..she is really outgoing, a social social person. I've explained to her that all guys want to fuck her (she is really good looking) and that none are interested in her as a person. It took her about a month but she finally believes me now that guys really are all about getting down w/ pussy when it comes to girls.

3So there is this OTHER guy in her SAME REHAB. His friend used to communicate w/ my girl telling her that the guy was in love with her and needed to know that she still loved him...Remember this was during the same time frame that the first guy was so in love with her and she was so in love with him. My girl responded to the 2nd guy's friend by telling him to tell the guy she loved him... This was a while ago, before our relationship.

4 I read one of her myspace surveys she wrote a long long time ago, the questinos were like "how many guys have you kissed recently: so many" "have you ever had more then one boyfriend: you can say that" .... What the fuck?


I hate the past and don't judge people abuot it. But this is different. She told me I'm her first legit boyfriend and her feelings for me are like no others she has had. She told that to the two other guys (and I'm sure others) who she two timed at once. She was a blackout drinker which implies she is a possiblly a slut, but I'm willing to live with this because I got tested and do not have any STDs. She wants to have sex w/ me ALL THE TIME. I actually have to deny her of sex sometimes because I get over it. If she fucked me pretty much the first night she saw me in 2 years and always wants to have sex with me, what is going to happen when I'm not there?

I can't tell what I'm worried about..I feel really really off.

I need to confront her on some of this w/o her realizing that I read her shit.

I guess the only thing she did that really violated the relationship was speaking to her ex. At first I could understand that she needed to tell him off if he was making sexual comments at her, but a month after that she posts on his myspace all friendly like.

How would I go about asking "Have you tried to talk to any of your exboyfriends, in particular that one guy from your rehab who you said you weren't with"...

She told me she's never cheated before. Her myspace bulletin said she's had more then 2 boyfriends at one time.

She claims to love me..I really thought she did..I can't tell right now.


EDIT - Wow I just really thought about this..I'm doing horrible. "She claims to love me..I really thought she did..I can't tell right now." This is so fucking strange...before this I didn't really care all that much if she broke up with me or I broke up w/ her. I really did love her but I understand that at my age (17-18) its unrealistic to think that we will be together forever, which she says is what she always wants and knows what will happen. Now that I know that there is a possibility of her feelings being fake, though... everything I feel for her is coming out right now. I need to know. I obviously can't confront her on this and tell her that I read her myspace and emails. I need to know if she actually loves me..and even if I do confront her on this what the fuck is she going to say? "No I was really lying to you this whole time to play with your mind" WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!:!?!?


EDIT2-Last thing...She has had a really hard fucking life. She has been through a lot. Reading thru her myspace totally put it in perspective for me. Some of the things I have said must totally fuck w/ her.. I told her I thought that date rape is bullshit and that any girl who is raped while under the influence is a fucking slut and shuoldn't have put herself in that situation in the first place (She was raped in blackout by her friends DAD), I told her cutters were worthless loosers (I just discovered that she cut her self one time w/ her best friend) and many, many other things. I have asked her to loose weight when anyone else would consider her body perfect yet i just want more ..when she has the worst body image ever. I feel so fucking guilty..god.
BTW her drug/alcohol use is very limited now. She doesn't get fucked up any more unless it is with me. This is her rule, that we don't get high/drink w/o each other. I don't think she has cheated on me (which is weird because I think that all of my past gf's were cheating on me w/ less proof then this).



TLDR:
I fucked my gf the 1st night I saw her, she used to be a blackout alcoholic, convinced two guys she loved them w/ passion and broke their hearts, tells me she loves me w/ similar words, has talked to one of her exes w/o me knowing (i told her to not do this). She told me she has never cheated in her life, yet on her myspace bullletin she said she had more then 2 boyfriends at one time. She has sex w/ me all the time she is really horny. How can I trust her to not fuck around when I'm not here? I don't think its really my right to confront her on her past..but something I have her on is that she tried to communicate w/ an ex w/o telling me, and this particular ex made sexual comments toward her.


What the fuck..am I overreatcing???

Well I only read the tl;dr version but no doesn't really seem like you're overreacting. It just seems as though she's untrustworthy. Why did you get with her for a serious relationship if you knew she was prone to that sort of thing?

Holy mother of fucking shit..... You and me are in the SAME EXACT FUCKING BOAT! This really sucks dick doesn't it?

__________________
In Silence I lay for that Fateful Day. 0day.

jamato@email.itt-tech.edu <-- My Email

Oh man, why did you break into the GF's emails?? Now that you did, do you feel better? Did it accomplish something? I am truly sorry you seen some thing like that and you are hurt by it, I am not sure what your girl's issue is, she is not acting as a person should in a relationship. How are you going to handle this?

The girl you always want spews so much shit and lies to you in the end you think is it all worth it :/

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Now playing: Wiley - Wiley - Pies

Hmm...

Well trust is the foundation in which you should build a realationship upon and from what I am gathering, there is none in your relationship. You two should work on trying to talk to each other about things that upset each other and maybe try to bring up in a tactful way about your discomfort in the way she talks to other males.

If this dosen't work then maybe you two aren't meant to be together. Sad to say, but if you don't trust her and accept her for her, don't push for something that probably isn't there.

While I may not be the most successful when it comes to relationships, I've been in soooo many, there is no way I could remember every single girl. That being said, I have learned from my mistakes.

Keep in mind, this is only my perspective. I'm in no way judging you or your girlfriend and obviously I don't know everything, so if what I say feels like it doesn't fit, then discard it.


I'm not going to mince words, I feel that she is a very "high-risk" girl.

She tells you that she hasn't had a proper boyfriend so she doesn't know how to act, yet you discovered she has had multiple boyfriends, at the same time. Also, she promised she will stop calling people "babe" and "hun", and she didn't. Personally, I wouldn't see it as a huge problem if my girlfriend said that to other guys. I think she gets validation or something from turning other guys on. Although, she knows you have a problem with it and that should be enough for her to stop. That, I would have a problem with.

She seems to be very promiscuous. As long as you scratch her itch, she should remain monogamous. Although, that in itself is a bit of a worry, it is abnormal to crave that much sex and you can't be there all the time. If you were ever away for an extended period of time I know what would be plaguing your mind.

At the risk of sounding all Dr. Phil on you, you guys really need to have a deep and meaningful.

You could make up some story about how she left her myspace logged in, thought it was yours for a moment, clicked messages and realized it was hers when you clicked the top message...... Profoundly apologize for continuing to read, but something caught your eye.................. I don't know but be creative. Unless you really don't want to lie to her, then I guess you could come clean if you don't think she is going to react too badly.

In any case, let her know that you know everything she has told you has been a lie. She will already feel like shit so there is no reason to get mad or judge her. Doing so will only drive her away. Being understanding/firm but helpful. Hopefully this should get her to trust you. To try to instantly regain her trust about the myspace thing as well, ask her to please change her password and it will never, ever, ever happen again... But before she does that, make sure you install a keylogger on the computer before she does so. Most people will disagree with this, but she is a very high-risk girl and this is your only form of monitoring her.

Back to having a deep discussion with her, raise every area of concern. Try to be as kind and understanding as possible. Maybe try to find out why she has such a high sex-drive and while you're still in a kind understanding state, give her the opportunity to get anything else off her chest. Assure her "she can trust you and there is nothing she could possibly do to you stop loving her". Just try to get her to open up.


Once she knows that you know every aspect of her, everything about her past you were concerned about was a lie and yet, you still want to be with her but work on things and she knows she has your trust and support and she may start confiding other things into you, everything should at least start picking up in your relationship.

Thats my 2c anyway.

You sound like a controlling prick and she most likely is a slut. Break up.

Man , let shit go bro.

You dudes on totse need to learn how to fuck more bitches, maybe then you wont be so uptight about junkie chicks.

Seriously ? Is every thread on fucking s&a about people being in love with junkies ?

And if you give me that shit about she's just smoking weed but going to rehab , fail.
Who goes to rehab for weed , ubber phail.

btw , fail.

I cant wait till you get into college and be obbessed about all the whores over there too , I wait for your epic lulzy threads about heartache.

hell...too long!