C'mon, I'm hoping that most (or all) of us have done this. I mean, how many of you have ever had a really strong, real connection with someone, but for whatever reason it didn't work out... and you're still stuck thinking about them at least a few times a week.

I ask because I want to hear some stories/advice that would make me feel less ashamed of myself...

There's this girl I've been into for over a year, and we were 'friends' at first, then she started calling me to come over to her house and hang out after her boyfriend had gone to bed, or was at work, or whatever. I was 16 at the time, she was 20. We both had a very real connection but I was just too young to realize the opportunity I had. One time I went over there to hang out with her AND her boyfriend. I got belligerently drunk and made an ass out of myself... next time I went over, same thing happened. I just hated seeing the two of them together, it was too much. Since then, she hasn't really talked to me... except, she called me once a few months after that shit happened, and the conversation went like this:

"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you, I miss you, I cry about you at night sometimes wondering if you're alright, I love you" - except dragged out for like 10 minutes. I was fucking speechless. She was drunk.

I tried calling her back, she acted cold and as if that phone call didn't take place, and was very short with me. I dropped it, and 6 months later (today) I stumble on her MySpace, see she's single again, and message her. And now I'm all nervous about if she'll reply, what she'll say, etc.

I miss her.

Now I'm 18, and I don't know... I just want to have all the conversations I think we missed out on, all of the good times we could have had. I don't want to marry her or anything, but I just want to spend time with her... and fuck her. God, I want to satisfy the intense sexual tension we had.

i know how you feel
for 2 years i had a huge crush on this girl and we became best of friends
but one day she moved away and i didnt hear from her for a year and she came back a completely different person.
she is a total slut now, and a high school drop out
i later learned that back then she did infact like me too
if only i had said something

Well.. It could happen. Be honest with her. Speaking as a female, I do love hearing about when my boyfriend first fell for me. He was really iffy about the friendship aspect, did not want to lose me, etc. I actually have two chasing the one person you can't have stories.

First one starts when I was 16.. I fell head over heels in love with the boy down the street after I seen him kick some wrestlers ass for calling his sister a whore. I asked him to a dance and we hung out quite a bit, had many firsts with him. I found out he had a gf and it broke my heart. But, he did break up with her and I was thinking, OMG this is my chance.. Nope, we talked about it all night and he, yes, HE, came to the conclusion that he did not want to lose me as a friend. No one loved him like I loved him, except for his mother, who he lost at 11 to murder. HOW could I argue with that? So, basically, I put all thoughts of being with him out of my mind and still pined for him in the back of my mind for two years.. Fast forward those two years, we were all hanging out, me, him, friends, getting drunk and just having fun.. Next thing I know he is hitting on me and I am thinking, "Shit, I am really fucked up." We ended up getting pretty smashed and ended up laying next to each other (this was not uncommon for us, we would sleep next to each other and nothing would happen) and I was rubbing the back of his neck cause he was feeling rough, or so I thought. Next thing I know he is on me in a flash.. I did not have much time to think about anything other than pulling him off of my tits so I could finally kiss him. After what seemed like forever of fucking around or having to sneak to the bathroom cause we were both drunk and had to piss, it finally started to happen. This was one of those things that you read about ya know? The girl is so turned on and all it would take is one touch and she would shatter into pieces kind of thing, right? LOL.. Well, we definately had sex and it definately only lasted a few minutes if that. Of course since we were both drunk, I knew I had to make a move later, just so he could not say he was drunk.. A few hours later I decide, well shit, I am going to give head for the first time in my life. So, I start kissing him and I kiss my way down his scar (he was in an accident as a child and lost his spleen, he was so self conscious of that scar) no sooner do I get to finally see what its like to give head, my head is jerked off his dick and he is coming.. LOL again. So, after that we just went to bed. I left things alone for a few days cause he did have a gf at the time and I wanted to proceed slowly. I did approach him after about five days, I begged him to tell me why this happened and not to tell me he was drunk.. Oh he didn't.. He said he did it as a favor to me.. I said favor, oh yes, all five minutes of it?? Get the fuck out of my house and never come back or so help me I will kill you by feeding you your balls.

Fast forward three weeks later, I am having an intense menstrual cycle, so much so it took me to the er, where I found out I was pregnant and losing a baby I never knew I was pregnant with. I never told him, I blamed him, oh God, did I blame him..

Fast forward 6 years, he shows up out of nowhere at my door to talk to me (this is at the time I was just starting out with the other person I chased that I got, and am currently with).. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him everything, all the pain and misery, but I did not. We had a nice visit and when he was leaving, he leaned in and touched my face and said.. "man, I really fucked it up with you." I could not say anything, nothing would have brought me to aknowledge he had that power of me at one time. I see him from time to time, but its not the same..

Ok, now to my current person that I never thought I would get.. We have been together for 4 years, have known each other for close to 7. We started out as friends, I thought he was a dick, but then I started seeing this side of him that I absolutely fell in love with. I was coming out of a marriage and feeling vulnerable, doing dumb shit. But, I knew, once I got my shit together, I would be after this man and he would not know what hit him. I got the whole friendship speech from him as well, and I almost got discouraged, then I just well balls out full force. If I thought that first time of having sex with someone you are in love with was mind blowing, JESUS GOD ALMIGHTY, this was the shit I think not many people experience. It was like you felt like your body was going to explode in a million different pieces unless you got the feel this person inside of you kind of thing. The desperation and heat.. Good Gawd.. But ya, proud to say we are still together after all this and still very much in love. It is not without its trial and tribulations, but I am happy to report the sex is only getting better

Moral of the stories, if you want something, GO FOR IT.. Just be ready for tremendous pain or absolute joy. I really would like to know how this ends up for you.

AngelMA, that was a long (hah) but interesting post and I thank you for your input. I'll bump this thread up in a couple of days if I hear from her... if she even responds to my message.

If she doesn't respond, is that the sign I should read as "Let It Go"? This is all really new, unfamiliar and kind of frightening for me, because I just HATE to accept that I failed at attaining someone I really longed for, something I really tried to achieve... so I really am at a loss of what to do here. I wish I had Xanax, fuck.


It fucking sucks, doesn't it?

I would not say let go, if she does not respond, but, do not pin all your hopes on her. I am a firm believer in things happen for a reason, so if it does not work, do not see it as failure, but as a learning process. You will learn from it and be all the better for it.

I am about to say this, cause, I did go through it, but sometimes, the fantasy of being with someone, and placing them on a pedastal is so much better than the actual reality of being with them.

I will be sure to check back on this.

damn.

Chasing someone I couldn't have? heh... it's hard to have a relationship with your sisters fiance, even when they split. It dragged on for almost 2 years.
I think about it sometimes but I'm happy with who I'm with now.

I'm constantly chasing someone I can't have... Every single time I fall for someone it's someone who's already in a relationship, someone who doesn't swing that way, or someone who it would be morally or ethically wrong to get involved with.

If she replies and seems interested, then go for gold. Don't hold back, you don't wanna live life with any regrets. But if she doesn't reply, or doesn't seem interested, then try to not dwell on it. There's always something, or someone, just around the corner

AngelMA, you are a slut, did you know that?

i feel like my long-distance relationship is a lot like chasing the one person i can't have. i love him so much, and of all the damn men in the world, i had to pick one that isn't here. PLUS then there are guys around here and i get lonely and i can't have them either. SO. sucks. at least the sex is incredible when we are together...