I'm sure this thread has been done to hell, but I don't venture here enough to ever see it. I need some input on this subject. I mean, do you ever REALLY get over them. Do they still haunt you, wonder how it would have turned out given different circumstances. Does it matter the least bit in a current love. Do you still care about them? How much? What kind of place do they have in your heart, if they even still do?

I kind of need these questions answered so I can make an educated decision on some things. I would rather not go into much detail about it, but I'm sure some of you can kind of guess my predicament. Any answers to those questions would be very very helpful.

__________________
In Silence I lay for that Fateful Day. 0day.

jamato@email.itt-tech.edu <-- My Email

I dont think anyone could ever forget their first love.
It's just something so special to you at the time that its impossible to forget about.

Even if you dont constantly think about the person, some things would trigger memories of them.

This question can go be answered both ways because its really hard to objectively give you a relevant answer unless we know all the facts. I can tell you yes and/or no with accompanying examples, but I can't really be certain which applies to your situation. And since you don't feel it's best to do into details about it, all I can say is "only time will tell." Whether you ever or never get over it is entirely up to you and how you decide to digest it all.

Good luck!

Maybe I should have cleared this up. It's not about ME getting over a first love. It's about the current girlfriend I'm with, and her getting over HER first love. A while back I read some things back and forth to her 'ex' about how she still loves him. She gave me an excuse of 'I was fucked up back then, I really didn't mean any of it'. Maybe that will help out more?

__________________
In Silence I lay for that Fateful Day. 0day.

jamato@email.itt-tech.edu <-- My Email

In all honestly, my first love was at 13 and pretty stupid (though we were together 10 months, so it could have been stupider) so I'll push that aside to talk about my 2nd first love a few years later. While I will never forget him, I am well and truly over him. At the time I thought I wanted to kill myself because he went for my best friend over me (but I got him back. Stupid bitch should've known better), and I was absolutely obsessed with him. And when we finally got together I was so smitten. But time went on and we grew apart. I broke up with him, so it was on my terms. But we're still friends today, I just think he's strange now and can't remember what I saw in him at all.

I suppose if he had have broken it off suddenly with me, then maybe I'd be wondering about what happened and what could have been. But probably not. I think in time you just plain move on and forget about it.

Edit: To add to that; he went on to date another of my friends practically as soon as I broke up with him, and after THEY broke up she admitted to me that he'd told her a few times that he was still in love with me. So I dunno. I'm pretty sure he's well and truly over that now...

It all kind of started when she made a comment of seeing him or something. I forget the details, but I guess he was all upset. And she made a comment something like 'well maybe if you didn't cheat I'd be with you'. I might just be thinking crazy, but can you REALLY fucking say that if you're with someone else that you 'love with all of your heart'?

__________________
In Silence I lay for that Fateful Day. 0day.

jamato@email.itt-tech.edu <-- My Email

Of course they do - but some things are inexcusable. You already know what I think babe

__________________

I'd be pretty upset if I were you too.
But if you think rationally about it (which may be hard, I'd be seething) from what I deduct, if he hadn't have cheated on her, they wouldn't have broken up and therefore there wouldn't BE a you and her. Because she'd still be with him.
It's still not a very nice thing to say when you're with someone new though.

Oh, we aren't 'new'. She said this only a few months ago, even though we've been together for somewhere around 4 years!

__________________
In Silence I lay for that Fateful Day. 0day.

jamato@email.itt-tech.edu <-- My Email

Wow, that puts it into perspective. Really not a nice thing to say. But I think she'd only be trying to make him feel bad, not you.
Has she done anything else to suggest that she may still have some feelings for him?