I know this can be really hard. Me and my ex-girlfriend were originally very good friends. We could talk about anything for hours and it just worked really well. We decided to date and she said we just didn't have a connection on that level. We broke up and agreed we wanted to still be good friends because we both really valued our friendship. Well we got into a couple fights recently and stopped talking for a week or two. Now we have started to talk a little bit but its more awkward than anything. We don't connect the way we used to and I know its just because of what we have been through but I want it to more the way it used to be. What would you do in this situation, or if you have been in it already what did you do to help it? What can I say to her to help us be able to communicate again without the awkwardness?

I will never, ever, understand why anyone would want to get romantically involved with a good friend. To me it just seems like you must not value the friendship very much. Either that, or you're delusional and think that for some reason this is supposed to last forever.

Newsflash (not just to you, OP, but to anyone thinking of doing this in the future): VERY FEW relationships last forever...

It's almost always temporary.

Keep this in mind before you choose to move a friendship to the next level.

I guess you've just never had romantic feelings for a good friend...? I mean seriously, thats all it takes. When I realized I had feelings for her there was no other girl I wanted to think about. When I have feelings like that I go for it. It wasn't until now that I realized how much I DO value the friendship, now that its already messed up.

So you admit that it was a mistake?

Look, I'm not trying to make some kind of personal attack on you, I'm just warning anyone else who might see this thread who has yet to realize this.

And yes, I have had romantic feelings for a few girls who were off limits, and when that happens, you just leave it at that.

I mean, you wouldn't steal a good (male) friends' girlfriend just because you had romantic feelings for her, would you??

Sometimes you just have to say no.

Don't bother until you've had a lot of time apart, ie no communication at all.

Preferably when you've both moved onto your next victim/love interest.

Don't worry I completely understand what you mean, I'm not taking it as an attack. But dude... although I know what an analogy is, that doesn't make much sense. Stealing my friend's girlfriend has nothing to do with dating my close friend.

Yeah man that makes a lot of sense. At this point I've decided thats exactly what I'm going to do. After its been long enough I'll just see how things go and if it still doesn't work I'll let it go.

Way to not get the reference.

Because man, almost everything is a fucking tradeoff. It's just a matter of what risks you're willing to take..

But I agree, generally not a good idea.

yeah i learned that the hard way too.