It doesn't seem like anyone is. Take the issue of looking at porn, for example. I know there was at least one thread on it a while back where the recommendation from just about every guy was to simply not tell your girlfriend about it. So most guys would rather keep something from their girlfriend that would bother her if she knew about it (even if she is being irrational) than to be honest and hope to find a girl that actually is rational and knows that he doesn't care about her less just because he looks at porn.

If you're just dating someone for sex, I can see how it would seem justified to lie. But if you actually care about the person you're with and you want a good relationship with them, how do you justify keeping secrets from them? Is it completely naive to think that someone could actually be in a healthy relationship with someone and be completely open with them? Really, could you call any relationship healthy if either person isn't being honest?

For the porn example, i know my girlfriend (ex) didn't really like that i looked at it. She knew, but i would just not bring it up at all. I think that is a better plan of action than pretending you don't look.

It is very important to be open and honest with your partner. You'll never forget the truth, but lies can change in an instant, and when 2 and 2 doesn't really add up it brings the whole relationship into question.

I think the best thing to do with this situation is to be honest, tell them the complete truth, but don't change who you are to make that 'truth' more accomodating, y'know? (as in, tell her you watch porn, DONT bring it up all the time, but dont stop watching it)

Hmm, I don't know. It really depends on the girl. I had this impression of m boyfriend that he was not the kind of guy to look at porn. His sweet character is what attracted me to him. When I found out he looked at porn, it completely changed me and our relationship. Personally, I would have preferred to remain naive. I liked things the way they were. On the other hand, he never told me about it, and I accidentally discovered his porn stash on his computer in a folder that I opened thinking I was going to play a game he had showed me earlier... So discovering it was a total shock. He didn't lie to me about having porn - he simply never told me about it. Still, it feels a little weird to think he doesn't tell me things. So there are pros and cons to both. Maybe he should have just hid his stash in a less inviting spot..

But there are tons of girls who embrace porn, and love to look at it with their bfs. To be honest, I wish I was one of them.

Of course I'm completely honest. That's the only reason we're still together and have a waaay more stable relationship than _anyone_ else we know.

As to porn? Of course she knows I watch/have porn. Are any girls really insecure enough to think that porn is a competition for them or something? If you're in a real relationship, it isn't just about the sex, and porn can only give you sex no matter how you spin it. Anyone who doesn't realize that needs too get their mind out of Puritan New England.

If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to.

I think a certain level of openness is definitely encouraging in order to maintain a relationship healthy, but the truth is, to be completely open to another human being isn't exactly the easiest thing to do, even when backed by a sincere desire to do so.

It's impossible to tell your significant other every single thought that goes through your mind, or even every little thing about you. Even in serious relationships, a bit of secrecy is demanded--it's practical even.

For instance, I'm not one to care if my significant other watches porn or not. The honesty and sincerity in our relationship will grant that he tell me he watches it, but maybe not tell me that he sometimes thinks about those girls instead of me, see what I'm saying?

To a certain degree, complete, naked truth is sometimes imprudent and impractical to the relationship.

I think the porn example is stupid. How can somebody simply give up porn? Unless you and your partner are having sex regularly you'll be urged to look at it, and this is for both men and women. I wouldn't care if my g/f watched porn, unless she preferred it to me of course, haha. Hell I'd probably find it hot.

I agree with you when it comes to porn bro, but I could say tha same thing about cheating.... Like are any girls insecure enuf to think that their boyfriend banging other chicks is a competition? banging other chicks only gives you sex, and theres more to a real relationship than that.... I personally could cheat on my girl 100 times and still love my girl the same and be happy with her... but that dont mean I think my girl should be ok wid it.. I think it jus has to do with how mature/insecure your partner is. The more insecure your partner is about stupid shit that doesnt mean anything, the more the other person is gonna lie to them. The more mature you guys are about shit, the more open you will be about things

Be honest if you really care about your partner and your relationship.
If there's something your partner doesn't like, talk it through and try to find a solution. And whatever you do, don't act all embarrassed about something (like watching porn).. just tell it like it is and make your partner deal with it. Acting all embarrassed makes you look bad.

Guess there are no virgins on totse then.

The porn doesn't give you sex, and cannot even be compared to cheating in my opinion. Porn is a masturbation-aid (if watched alone) and a way to get turned on and find inspiration (if watched with a partner).

Have you talked to her about it? I've discussed outside sex with mine, and we're both okay with it, for the above reasons.

People should try to own each other less. That would probably make a lot of relationships a lot better and more stable.