I'm currently overseas and I just found out this morning that my grandma died. We were fairly close as far as relationships with grandparents go, she lived with us for about 5 years.

Now my family are making it very clear they want me to come home for the funeral. But they're doing it in a very underhanded way. "Do what you want to, but we know your grandma would have loved to have you here". They also said "We miss you and any excuse to have you home is good enough" which makes me think this is a load of shit.

I don't want to go home, I love my oma and I have good memories of her, I can pay my respects in my own way.

Would it be immoral to not go home for the funeral? What would you do in this situation?

She is dead. Funerals are for the family left behind. First you have to look at if you need it. If oyu do, go, if you don;t then don't go. Also remember that your family may need you to be there, and they might not say it.

This.

If you don't have anything else planned then you might as well go see your family and pay your respects. If you plan to just not go and then get drunk and go on &T, then you really might as well just go. Your family will remember it and you'll gain some points.


However if your strapped financially then that's a different story.


Good luck.

This.

Go if you want, but you're going for your parents, siblings, etc. Your grandma is dead, I'm sure she'd much rather you saved your money for school, etc, and when you come home, go visit her grave and have a chat.

But don't go for her. This is a funeral, not a wedding.

Also, my condolences.

Well I have A LOT more planned, like 5 weeks or so. If I go home that's the end of the holiday, it would be too much money to fly back out and resume it.

My family are tough, my grandma lived a long fulfilling life and she was in a lot of pain. You'd think this would be looked at as more of a release. Death is always a sad thing, but it doesn't always have to be a bad thing, does it?

arg... I hate guilt trips.

Nothing more then lifeless flesh and bone now. Left to slowly be reclaimed by the Earth. Pay your respects how you deem fit. Mourning should not be the focus of death. It sounds she lived her life like she wanted to. All anyone could really ask for.

What would your grandma advise you to do?

Remember mate, she's moved on...If you're somewhat religious, you can talk to her anytime. And Like Ryko said, you can go visit the grave for a chat when you get home.

If you believe in your heart that she would want you to be there then go. If not, tell your family that you're grieving in your own way.

All the best buddy.

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Why wouldn't you go home? If you don' t like the people there for some reason, fuck em' your goin for your granma

Would you regret not going in 10years time? Having to see family members in the future and them asking about where you were and shit? its your family, you should go

This is not a moral dilemma, it's a family problem. If I were you I would just go back unless you can't afford it. Your parents will literally NEVER let you forget it if you don't. Seriously, you're stuck with your family forever and it sounds like this is a big deal to them.