totse.com | I'm goingto become a serial killer

Mr. Black · #1 2008-08-01, 14:25

Well Totse I am really bored. I have been watching the show Dexter (Both seasons 1 & 2) and I have to say I have been getting a shit load of ideas and none of them are "normal."

I have decided I am going to become a serial killer.

Anybody have any tips?

Fuck the FBI · #2 2008-08-01, 14:49

murder/suicide

OR

Huff Raid

Mr. Black · #3 2008-08-01, 14:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuck the FBI View Post

murder/suicide

OR

Huff Raid

*Adds that to list*

theshadowfax · #4 2008-08-01, 14:56

You forgot Molotov Everything.

Pandoras Assassin · #5 2008-08-01, 15:17

Tell us some of your "not normal" ideas. I'll be the judge of that.

Mr. Black · #6 2008-08-01, 15:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandoras Assassin View Post

Tell us some of your "not normal" ideas. I'll be the judge of that.

1. Skinning people alive and giving them vinegar and salt baths
2. Raping girls
3. Chopping people up with a chainsaw and feeding those remains to pigs
4. Putting my dick through a meat grinder
5. Making cube steak out of people
6. Taking a hatchet to a party and going crazy on theirs asses
7. Going into a church and opening fire into the crowd

I have more if you want to hear them

EDIT: On second thought number 7 is a good idea.

Mr. Black · #7 2008-08-01, 15:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by theshadowfax View Post

You forgot Molotov Everything.

*Adds to list*... how could I have forgotten

cr0m · #8 2008-08-01, 15:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

EDIT: On second thought number 7 is a good idea.

yeah i was gonna say somethen like this.

then after you're done with that go blow up the nearest daycare to insure you're sayen fuck religion and fuck the next generation

The_Seventh_Artist · #9 2008-08-01, 16:04

1. Read about Zodiac, Jack the Ripper etc.
2. Molotov Everything
3. An hero
4. ???
5. PROFIT!

ShoeBong · #10 2008-08-01, 16:05

Remember to always test your methods on yourself first.

Or you could always be like this guy...
A man described by witnesses as wearing camouflage clothes and carrying a rifle emerged from a wooded area along the Menominee River on Thursday and opened fire on a group of young people near the swimming spot under a railroad bridge.

Do this several place, a month before high school graduations start and you would devastate many people.

Fate · #11 2008-08-01, 16:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

1. Skinning people alive and giving them vinegar and salt baths
2. Raping girls
3. Chopping people up with a chainsaw and feeding those remains to pigs
4. Putting my dick through a meat grinder
5. Making cube steak out of people
6. Taking a hatchet to a party and going crazy on theirs asses
7. Going into a church and opening fire into the crowd

I have more if you want to hear them

EDIT: On second thought number 7 is a good idea.

Someone beat you to it in my area on #7. You should do #6 but replace "party" with "ICP show." Just for the irony.

awesomeidiot · #12 2008-08-01, 16:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

1. Skinning people alive and giving them vinegar and salt baths
2. Raping girls
3. Chopping people up with a chainsaw and feeding those remains to pigs
4. Putting my dick through a meat grinder
5. Making cube steak out of people
6. Taking a hatchet to a party and going crazy on theirs asses
7. Going into a church and opening fire into the crowd

I have more if you want to hear them

EDIT: On second thought number 7 is a good idea.

Number two is not that abnormal.

Fallen Angust · #13 2008-08-01, 16:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

Well Totse I am really bored. I have been watching the show Dexter (Both seasons 1 & 2) and I have to say I have been getting a shit load of ideas and none of them are "normal."

I have decided I am going to become a serial killer.

Anybody have any tips?

This thread is going to be submitted to the FBI by like, 8 different people. Along with your face book and what ever you use.

Mr. Black · #14 2008-08-02, 03:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fallen Angust View Post

This thread is going to be submitted to the FBI by like, 8 different people. Along with your face book and what ever you use.

I don't have a facebook. I have a myspace and I look SOOOO happy.

Idiosyncrasy · #15 2008-08-02, 03:10

Watch this, take notes, follow suit.

Mr. Black · #16 2008-08-02, 03:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Idiosyncrasy View Post

Watch this, take notes, follow suit.

I own:

1. Mr. Brooks
2. Zodiac
3. Every season of Dexter available
4. Every Saw available
5. Every season of CSI availible
6. Se7en
7. Fargo
8. Every season of Millennium

Idiosyncrasy · #17 2008-08-02, 03:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

I own:

1. Mr. Brooks
2. Zodiac
3. Every season of Dexter available
4. Every Saw available
5. Every season of CSI availible
6. Se7en
7. Fargo
8. Every season of Millennium

You should be good to go. Post your tag on here after you leave one.

Mr. Black · #18 2008-08-02, 03:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Idiosyncrasy View Post

You should be good to go. Post your tag on here after you leave one.

Will do. I'm so glad I have many people supporting me. Thank you.

Mr. Black · #19 2008-08-02, 13:40

Bump due to people being directed to my thread by a nigger thread.

Also what type of victims should I get?

HTTP · #20 2008-08-02, 16:45

watch american psycho as well

Sawyer22 · #21 2008-08-02, 17:17

^ Definately, American Psycho is great. But try to not be as narcissistic as the character. An unmeasured self-confidence often cause disasters.

Totgott · #22 2008-08-02, 17:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fate View Post

Someone beat you to it in my area on #7. You should do #6 but replace "party" with "ICP show." Just for the irony.

That would be pretty funny, too bad the security is tight as hell at shows.

JodahRagnora · #23 2008-08-02, 17:35

I know I'm not the first to say this, but I am too bored to read through.

You kinda already epic failed at that.

Unless you like, are gunna kill yourself or something, then its cool.

IamCancer · #24 2008-08-02, 19:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

Bump due to people being directed to my thread by a nigger thread.

Also what type of victims should I get?

Niggers
Kikes
Spics
Crackers
Dot-heads
Towelheads
Chinks
Limeys
Gooks
Red-backs
Rednecks

small children

Mr. Black · #25 2008-08-02, 23:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by IamCancer View Post

Niggers
Kikes
Spics
Crackers
Dot-heads
Towelheads
Chinks
Limeys
Gooks
Red-backs
Rednecks

small children

*Writes on list* Will do.

Also I don't plan on killing myself but if I encounter cops I will have an epic standoff.

And I do own American Psycho. Huey Lewis and the News made Patrick do it. I know it.

ego-twitcher · #26 2008-08-03, 02:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

1. Skinning people alive and giving them vinegar and salt baths
2. Raping girls
3. Chopping people up with a chainsaw and feeding those remains to pigs
4. Putting my dick through a meat grinder
5. Making cube steak out of people
6. Taking a hatchet to a party and going crazy on theirs asses
7. Going into a church and opening fire into the crowd

I have more if you want to hear them

EDIT: On second thought number 7 is a good idea.

Do number 7, come over to my place and you'll get laid, lol.

ego-twitcher · #27 2008-08-03, 02:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

Bump due to people being directed to my thread by a nigger thread.

Also what type of victims should I get?

Dude!! Kill young skanks.
Please come to Toronto, there are so many fucking annoying young propstitutes here (like age 14)
if you kill em off, you'll be god.

I_Give_Cops_Job_Security · #28 2008-08-03, 02:56

Just cut off their thumbs. They wouldn't be able to do anything.

Replace their thumbs with other peoples thumbs. Ya they'd have them cut off but it'd be freaky as hell and back for the cops investigating.

Poison cereal. (Everyone of you knows good and well that when you were a kid you thought serial killers killed people via cereal)

Rape your victims in the eye. (bonus points if you make one of their family members watch)

Acid baths are never a bad idea.

Also I personally would only taget

1 - Fat people
2 - Anyone who isn't agnostic/atheist
3 - Fat people
4 - Fat people
5 - People of a rare race.

Also threaten to keep on killing people until someone does something crazy like
1 - Bush makes out with his daughters (Live)
2 - Paris Hilton cuts out one of her eyes
3 - 200Million americans sign a petition begging you for mercy
4 - The Pope losses his virginity to Jessica Alba

Just be creative.

Snoop Doggy Dogg · #29 2008-08-03, 03:10

make sure you cover your sanctuary with plastic like Dexter, but wear a fucking mask. Dont dump it in the sea or bury him in a graveyard

Make sure you take the kidneys too, that makes good money

Mr. Black · #30 2008-08-03, 03:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snoop Doggy Dogg View Post

make sure you cover your sanctuary with plastic like Dexter, but wear a fucking mask. Dont dump it in the sea or bury him in a graveyard

Make sure you take the kidneys too, that makes good money

*Wries it down*

jator · #31 2008-10-01, 01:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by IRapeSmallChildren View Post

go to singles bars and find drunk girls. then bring them home fuck them, take them in the bathroom kill them. then drain there blood by hanging them upside down and slitting there throat, then fucking cut there body into 6 pieces, head, arm,arm,torso, leg and lastly the other leg. spray body parts with pepper spray then put in trash bags. then spray the bag with pepper spray and put that in another bag. put the bags in your car and drive to the opposite of your neighbor hood or to a large city. then drive around the morning before trash pick up and put each bag in a different trash can at least two miles apart for one other. there you go and just repeat as necessary.

by the way what i wrote was completely hypothetical and was not though up by me but was read in a book.

Ehh...you don't think anyone would ask who she went home with last night? Then they come and find her body hanging upside down in your bathtub...that would look kinda bad.

On another note, what part of SD are you from if you don't mind me asking?

2-0-0-4 · #32 2008-10-01, 06:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

Well Totse I am really bored. I have been watching the show Dexter (Both seasons 1 & 2) and I have to say I have been getting a shit load of ideas and none of them are "normal."

I have decided I am going to become a serial killer.

Anybody have any tips?

yeah ok mr son of sam wannabe

Mr. Black · #33 2008-10-04, 10:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2-0-0-4 View Post

yeah ok mr son of sam wannabe

Fuck you. I'm not a Jew

Klavier · #34 2008-10-06, 10:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Seventh_Artist View Post

1. Read about Zodiac, Jack the Ripper etc.
2. Molotov Everything
3. An hero
4. ???
5. PROFIT!

Lol you post on 4chan.

temp user name · #35 2008-10-06, 12:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

4. Putting my dick through a meat grinder

This one first, that way you greatly reduce the possibility of passing on your obviously defective genes.

Scholar · #36 2008-10-06, 13:35

I'm going to become a Jedi after watching Star Wars, fucking lol..

Before the Opiate · #37 2008-10-06, 13:55

Don't know if this has been suggest yet. Try and refrain from writing "And I want to thank Totse.com for some great ideas" on your murder/suicide note when the Feds quickly close in on you and hand you your big bag of Fail at Life.

Also

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

I own:

1. Mr. Brooks
2. Zodiac
3. Every season of Dexter available
4. Every Saw available
5. Every season of CSI availible
6. Se7en
7. Fargo
8. Every season of Millennium

I lol'd.

Fleeek · #38 2008-10-06, 14:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Black View Post

3. Chopping people up with a chainsaw and feeding those remains to pigs

Look up Robert Pickton, he did quite similar to what you desribe

Glasgowsweeman · #39 2008-10-06, 19:27

Fucking hell!
I have been doing that recently, between thursday and sunday i watched all 24 epidsodes.
Its an inspiring show right there:P

dude_wha? · #40 2008-10-06, 22:36

I'm in forensics, if you want to email me or just ask questions about technique, I'm up for it.

Note: Dexter's method is just about the most effective. Only gripes I have are:

1.) He sometimes chooses locations relatively easy for people to walk in on.

2.) Dumps his bodies in the same place time after time. Fixed that after almost being caught, though.

and

3.) While he obviously uses a very powerful sedative, it's a lot harder to do that...if he happens to fuck up once, he could get killed or caught easily. He got pretty lucky with Little Chino.