totse.com | The "Wow, I can't believe I did that" Thread

449 · #1 2008-07-27, 18:27

In 9th grade English we had to give a two and half minute howto speech. We had to have an organized outline and demonstrate whatever we were "teaching" in front of the class. I ended up procrastinating the project till the night before, mainly because I couldn't think of a good topic. I decided to do mine on "How to jump." What made it worse was that of course, I never being one to volunteer ended going near the end. It pretty much consisted of of me giving step-by-step instructions of how to jump with table. This was such a bad idea because I could have choked and tripped. Shit I had never even jumped the table it just looked like something I could jump. Good thing it was.

Oh and in cause you're wondering (you are) I'd say it was about three and a half feet wide and normal table height?..

Oh yeah and I ended up getting a 91 (93 is an A-)

TheVizier · #2 2008-07-27, 18:31

Hey, I did the same "How to" shitty speech in 9th grade. Except I demonstrated how to make a spoon bend by making it look like telekinesis or something. It went ok.

LumpySnake · #3 2008-07-27, 18:33

when i was 14 or so. i would throw really big rocks at really expensive cars.

That and ppls houses.

Private Rodent · #4 2008-07-27, 18:41

I made a flamethrower from a can of WD-40 and lit the woods on fire when I was like 10.

iSoape · #5 2008-07-27, 18:46

There was that one time I was sitting in a tree smoking a joint. After I finished, I saw the rope leading down, so here's what went on in my mind:

Oh a rope!

I can easily get down that way.

*Jumps and grabs rope*

As I'm sliding down the rope, the rope burn sets in and I let go.

I fall backwards from a pretty high up place. I was sore for a couple weeks.

My friends thought I was dead or broke something in my body.

Neither happened.

It didn't hurt as much as I expected, maybe it was because I was fucking blown out of my mind. Still hurt a hell of a lot.

Nightside Eclipse · #6 2008-07-27, 18:47

I logged into my high school's admin name with him standing right behind me. That was bad.

hypno · #7 2008-07-27, 18:50

-at some nice hotel when i was a little kid i pulled the fire alarm. Entire hotel was evacuated. (my excuse was i thought it was a gumball machine) Honestly i just remember seeing it and impulsively reaching out and pulling it. No real reason. I just wanted to.

-Same hotel the night before, i ran into the glass elevator which overlooked the entire lobby completely naked besides my dinosaur tightey wighties and went up and down random floors while my parents were in the other elevator trying to get to me. They finally picked the same floor as me after like 8 minutes of this. My reason being i thought it was a lot of fun running around the hotel. The underwear thing didnt occur to me.

-lastly when we were visiting the statue of liberty i ran ahead of my family. They started chasing after me and all the other tourists (mostly Japanese tourists i later realized) started running too cause they must of assumed it was going to close or something. Literally an entire marathon of people were full out running to the statue of liberty being lead by some little kid. Reasoning i just wanted to see the statue first

Those are the only ones that come to mind.

Machoman411 · #8 2008-07-27, 18:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by hypno View Post

-at some nice hotel when i was a little kid i pulled the fire alarm. Entire hotel was evacuated.

-Same hotel the night before, i ran into the glass elevator which overlooked the entire lobby completely naked besides my dinosaur tightey wighties and went up and down random floors while my parents were in the other elevator trying to get to me. They finally picked the same floor as me after like 8 minutes of this.

-lastly when we were visiting the statue of liberty i ran ahead of my family. They started chasing after me and all the other tourists (mostly Japanese tourists i later realized) started running too cause they must of assumed it was going to close or something. Literally 50 people were full out running to the statue of liberty being lead by some little kid.

Those are the only ones that come to mind.

Lol statue of liberty thing reminds me of this video:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9KXviPd0fRA

Wraith · #9 2008-07-27, 19:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Machoman411 View Post

Lol statue of liberty thing reminds me of this video:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9KXviPd0fRA

I could watch hours of that show...

perfect chaos · #10 2008-07-27, 19:13

I once made my teacher cry by joking that she was overweight. I feel really bad about it even now. I'm convinced she gave me shitty marks because of it.

I gave my asian friend a picture of ganesh in a heart shaped frame together with a microwavable curry for her birthday.

I passed up on the chance to have a foursome with three girls. If only I was magnificently hung

Machoman411 · #11 2008-07-27, 19:20

I did a lot of stuff I'm not proud of in high school. For example, in ninth grade I once wore a swastika I made out of some construction paper around school. Got some looks.

Elsrick · #12 2008-07-27, 19:30

My only regrets come from BI. If it was in there, chances are I did it.

eamn · #13 2008-07-27, 19:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by perfect chaos View Post

I passed up on the chance to have a foursome with three girls. If only I was magnificently hung

same. i don't regret it though. 2 girls were dumb sluts with no self-respect and i can hardly believe i restrained myself being drunk as i was. i ended up fucking the one innocent-seeming one, which i do regret. the bitch wouldn't stop raping my back with her nails. i have a huge line of scars from it that won't go away. i had no idea what was happening. we left the room, i put on my white shirt, and someone goes "man, looks like you were a thrust away from the emergency room" because my shirt was fucking covered in blood. the next day there were scratches covering every inch of my back. that sucked.

optl · #14 2008-07-27, 19:59

I can't believe I clicked on a thread posted by 449.

Jojoman · #15 2008-07-27, 20:01

Last night I was at Harborfest in Oswego NY. Basically a good sized small city filled with Frat houses and the streets are packed with drunk people walking around. We were walking to a park to smoke some ganj-green away from the main street with all the bars and walked past a frat house with a lot of people outside.

As we were almost passed by this fat girl with black hair and plugs in her ears said "Come over here". So me and my one friend cautiously walked over and she asked "Wanna know something?". Before I could finish my sentence of "I wanna know a lot of things" she pulled down her pants and mooned us, and wiped her ass cheek on my leg. I could smell her rotten ass by the way.

So I was distraught, and so I started walking away with my group of 5 other kids and she started screaming "Go home and Jerk off!" repeatedly, I turned around and said in the most serious voice "I rather jerk off to gay porn" and she started getting in my face. I didn't know she was serious since she just mooned me but she cocked back and punched me. Thank the lord it was the weakest punch ever or I would of cocked back and knocked that dyke out.

So I was pissed and was like 'Did you really just punch me?' etc. etc. and so 2 guys came over from the frat and restrained her. We started walking away and my friends started calling her fat and shit and she's like "Get the fuck back here if you're talking shit" and I was like "Walk the fuck over here and lose some weight". She came up to us, I pulled down my pants and mooned her and told her to jerk off to it with her fat cock and she started fucking chasing me.

She like did some kind of leaping dragonball-z punch and fell on her knees. It was lulzy as ever. She got up and I really fucked with her. I started waving my hands around really fast infront of her face and sidestepping around her. All my friend's died laughing and the guys who were there were like "Don't be a dick . . . lol ok" and so she tried to hit me like 5 more times and then gave up on fisticuffs and tried using her huge dyke body to ram me.

The last time she came at me I pushed her towards the pavement which cause her to fall straight on her fucking face. And then I said "What fuck do I look like, a Matador? I'm not in fucking Italy" and her friend's picked her up and took her back, we went to the park 2 blocks away and got busted by cops for smoking weed.

I have honestly never fought a girl though, well her kind of punching me, me waving my hands in her face and then me helping her to the ground wasn't a fight. I don't think she could even be classified a girl.

Funny as fuck though.

Elsrick · #16 2008-07-27, 20:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jojoman View Post

Last night I was at Harborfest in Oswego NY. Basically a good sized small city filled with Frat houses and the streets are packed with drunk people walking around. We were walking to a park to smoke some ganj-green away from the main street with all the bars and walked past a frat house with a lot of people outside.

As we were almost passed by this fat girl with black hair and plugs in her ears said "Come over here". So me and my one friend cautiously walked over and she asked "Wanna know something?". Before I could finish my sentence of "I wanna know a lot of things" she pulled down her pants and mooned us, and wiped her ass cheek on my leg. I could smell her rotten ass by the way.

So I was distraught, and so I started walking away with my group of 5 other kids and she started screaming "Go home and Jerk off!" repeatedly, I turned around and said in the most serious voice "I rather jerk off to gay porn" and she started getting in my face. I didn't know she was serious since she just mooned me but she cocked back and punched me. Thank the lord it was the weakest punch ever or I would of cocked back and knocked that dyke out.

So I was pissed and was like 'Did you really just punch me?' etc. etc. and so 2 guys came over from the frat and restrained her. We started walking away and my friends started calling her fat and shit and she's like "Get the fuck back here if you're talking shit" and I was like "Walk the fuck over here and lose some weight". She came up to us, I pulled down my pants and mooned her and told her to jerk off to it with her fat cock and she started fucking chasing me.

She like did some kind of leaping dragonball-z punch and fell on her knees. It was lulzy as ever. She got up and I really fucked with her. I started waving my hands around really fast infront of her face and sidestepping around her. All my friend's died laughing and the guys who were there were like "Don't be a dick . . . lol ok" and so she tried to hit me like 5 more times and then gave up on fisticuffs and tried using her huge dyke body to ram me.

The last time she came at me I pushed her towards the pavement which cause her to fall straight on her fucking face. And then I said "What fuck do I look like, a Matador? I'm not in fucking Italy" and her friend's picked her up and took her back, we went to the park 2 blocks away and got busted by cops for smoking weed.

I have honestly never fought a girl though, well her kind of punching me, me waving my hands in her face and then me helping her to the ground wasn't a fight. I don't think she could even be classified a girl.

Funny as fuck though.

Epic if true, epic fail if false.

Jojoman · #17 2008-07-27, 20:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elsrick View Post

Epic if true, epic fail if false.

Haha don't worry that's true man. I could literally smell the musk of her ass when she pulled her pants down.

Morgoroth · #18 2008-07-27, 20:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jojoman View Post

And then I said "What fuck do I look like, a Matador? I'm not in fucking Italy" .

ha ha!

Jojoman · #19 2008-07-27, 20:11

Another "Wow, I can't believe I did that thread" moment is where I drove 220 miles from Cleveland Ohio to Niagara Falls on Acid. Best drive I have ever had though, the clouds when the sun was coming up was trippy as fuck.

Worst thing though... I saw what must of been a dead deer in the road that got hit but I saw the road turn read, then pieces of guts, and then a dead/skinned woman looking up at me with her eyes open... I am officially afraid of roadkill.

xxombie · #20 2008-07-27, 20:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheVizier View Post

Hey, I did the same "How to" shitty speech in 9th grade. Except I demonstrated how to make a spoon bend by making it look like telekinesis or something. It went ok.

In grade 9 I had to do a speech pretending to be some famous person talking about their life. But I didn't have anything prepared so I taped a swastika to my chest and talked in a shitty british accent for five minutes pretending to be Sid Vicious. I just made everything up but it didn't matter because my teacher didn't even know who Sid Vicious was or why I was wearing a swastika.

It went well though. I got a shitty mark but entertained the class. Especially the heart wrenching heroin OD scene at the end.

Yoshi · #21 2008-07-27, 20:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxombie View Post

In grade 9 I had to do a speech pretending to be some famous person talking about their life. But I didn't have anything prepared so I taped a swastika to my chest and talked in a shitty british accent for five minutes pretending to be Sid Vicious. I just made everything up but it didn't matter because my teacher didn't even know who Sid Vicious was or why I was wearing a swastika.

It went well though. I got a shitty mark but entertained the class. Especially the heart wrenching heroin OD scene at the end.

Did you have fun?

xxombie · #22 2008-07-27, 20:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yoshi View Post

Did you have fun?

I don't know, I guess. As much fun as you can have doing a class presentation.

Area51 · #23 2008-07-27, 20:17

Last year I wore an electrical tape swastika over my heart during shop, and some fatass loud mouth dyke told everyone about it, including the teachers

eamn · #24 2008-07-27, 20:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jojoman View Post

Last night I was at Harborfest in Oswego NY. Basically a good sized small city filled with Frat houses and the streets are packed with drunk people walking around. We were walking to a park to smoke some ganj-green away from the main street with all the bars and walked past a frat house with a lot of people outside.

As we were almost passed by this fat girl with black hair and plugs in her ears said "Come over here". So me and my one friend cautiously walked over and she asked "Wanna know something?". Before I could finish my sentence of "I wanna know a lot of things" she pulled down her pants and mooned us, and wiped her ass cheek on my leg. I could smell her rotten ass by the way.

So I was distraught, and so I started walking away with my group of 5 other kids and she started screaming "Go home and Jerk off!" repeatedly, I turned around and said in the most serious voice "I rather jerk off to gay porn" and she started getting in my face. I didn't know she was serious since she just mooned me but she cocked back and punched me. Thank the lord it was the weakest punch ever or I would of cocked back and knocked that dyke out.

So I was pissed and was like 'Did you really just punch me?' etc. etc. and so 2 guys came over from the frat and restrained her. We started walking away and my friends started calling her fat and shit and she's like "Get the fuck back here if you're talking shit" and I was like "Walk the fuck over here and lose some weight". She came up to us, I pulled down my pants and mooned her and told her to jerk off to it with her fat cock and she started fucking chasing me.

She like did some kind of leaping dragonball-z punch and fell on her knees. It was lulzy as ever. She got up and I really fucked with her. I started waving my hands around really fast infront of her face and sidestepping around her. All my friend's died laughing and the guys who were there were like "Don't be a dick . . . lol ok" and so she tried to hit me like 5 more times and then gave up on fisticuffs and tried using her huge dyke body to ram me.

The last time she came at me I pushed her towards the pavement which cause her to fall straight on her fucking face. And then I said "What fuck do I look like, a Matador? I'm not in fucking Italy" and her friend's picked her up and took her back, we went to the park 2 blocks away and got busted by cops for smoking weed.

I have honestly never fought a girl though, well her kind of punching me, me waving my hands in her face and then me helping her to the ground wasn't a fight. I don't think she could even be classified a girl.

Funny as fuck though.

ahahahahaha

Yoshi · #25 2008-07-27, 20:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxombie View Post

I don't know, I guess. As much fun as you can have doing a class presentation.

So very little then.

xxombie · #26 2008-07-27, 20:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Area51 View Post

Last year I wore an electrical tape swastika over my heart during shop, and some fatass loud mouth dyke told everyone about it, including the teachers

Well maybe you shouldn't have been wearing a goddamn swastika then bud.

Area51 · #27 2008-07-27, 20:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxombie View Post

Well maybe you shouldn't have been wearing a goddamn swastika then bud.

Why not?

xxombie · #28 2008-07-27, 20:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Area51 View Post

Why not?

If you don't want loud mouth dykes telling everyone including your teachers that you were wearing a swazy then don't wear one.

Being a nazi is fucking stupid anyways.

Area51 · #29 2008-07-27, 20:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxombie View Post

If you don't want loud mouth dykes telling everyone including your teachers that you were wearing a swazy then don't wear one.

Being a nazi is fucking stupid anyways.

Just because I wear a swazy and am virulently racist, and put whites first, doesn't make me a nazi.

ObsdianZ · #30 2008-07-27, 20:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Area51 View Post

Why not?

You should have gone for the full SS uniform.

Just a shitty little swastika makes you look like an emo faggot.

*ObZ

CarlWinslow · #31 2008-07-28, 05:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexander224 View Post

Why were you shooting a gun in the house? Unless your computer is outside.

^^^directed at someone else but i'll reply.

Picked up the gun that night and was messing around with it getting late into the night. Apparently I mindlessly loaded a round into it. Think I pushed the cocking hammer down onto it manually and it went off.

It sure as hell woke me up. Dozing off at the computer one moment to a gunshot, smoke and the bright red light filling up the room. Scary scary shit man. Burned through a chair, a sleeping bag, and some of the carpet. 7 seconds of mayhem.

You don't know how many lies it took to cover this one up from the parents.

Oh and the 2nd degree burns weren't as bad as they sound, it's simply blisters. and it wasn't like, my whole hand it was some here and there. no pics sorry. but I could get some pictures of the destruction if someone wants to see.

alexander224 · #32 2008-07-28, 05:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarlWinslow View Post

but I could get some pictures of the destruction if someone wants to see.

Pictures are always welcomed.

13579 · #33 2008-07-28, 05:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarlWinslow View Post

^^^directed at someone else but i'll reply.

Picked up the gun that night and was messing around with it getting late into the night. Apparently I mindlessly loaded a round into it. Think I pushed the cocking hammer down onto it manually and it went off.

It sure as hell woke me up. Dozing off at the computer one moment to a gunshot, smoke and the bright red light filling up the room. Scary scary shit man. Burned through a chair, a sleeping bag, and some of the carpet. 7 seconds of mayhem.

You don't know how many lies it took to cover this one up from the parents.

Oh and the 2nd degree burns weren't as bad as they sound, it's simply blisters. and it wasn't like, my whole hand it was some here and there. no pics sorry. but I could get some pictures of the destruction if someone wants to see.

Nice....pictures. Now.

CarlWinslow · #34 2008-07-28, 05:18

Enjoy.

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y20/renegade646/P1010065.jpg

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y20/renegade646/P1010067.jpg

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y20/renegade646/P1010068.jpg

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y20/renegade646/P1010069.jpg

^^^burnt leather, mmmm

alexander224 · #35 2008-07-28, 05:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarlWinslow View Post

Enjoy.

^^^burnt leather, mmmm

hahahaha. Did this just happen right now?

CarlWinslow · #36 2008-07-28, 05:22

haha, nah 3 or 4 months ago. But the evidence is still all here. Although my hand has no scars which is good.

Sponsored Link · #37 2008-07-28, 06:24

I really dunno. Giving parents the finger at 8? Telling kids to go to hell before I even knew what it meant? Ending a fight in three seconds that I didnt mean to start? Pulling a girl from another guys lap and hooking up with her?

Edit: Lets remove that last one, shall we?

Name's Taken · #38 2008-07-28, 06:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by perfect chaos View Post

I once made my teacher cry by joking that she was overweight. I feel really bad about it even now. I'm convinced she gave me shitty marks because of it.

I gave my asian friend a picture of ganesh in a heart shaped frame together with a microwavable curry for her birthday.

I passed up on the chance to have a foursome with three girls. If only I was magnificently hung

Do you regret writing this?

totse_is_nothing · #39 2008-07-28, 17:00

robitussin enema..

1337_1053R · #40 2008-07-28, 18:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by eamn View Post

same. i don't regret it though. 2 girls were dumb sluts with no self-respect and i can hardly believe i restrained myself being drunk as i was. i ended up fucking the one innocent-seeming one, which i do regret. the bitch wouldn't stop raping my back with her nails. i have a huge line of scars from it that won't go away. i had no idea what was happening. we left the room, i put on my white shirt, and someone goes "man, looks like you were a thrust away from the emergency room" because my shirt was fucking covered in blood. the next day there were scratches covering every inch of my back. that sucked.

Kinky.