Slammed 8 or 9 Newcastles as fast as I could. Then had some more hard alcohol (I don't even remember). That was all within 45 mins to an hour.

So anyway, I had convinced these two girls to go topless in the hot tub, and they convinced me that I went naked. So I did. There were only 3 girls and 3 guys including me, so it wasn't THAT bad.

Anyway, an hour later, all I remember is being wet, cold, and naked up stairs, crying on the floor in fetal position. I have no idea what happened, but the next day I felt like such a little bitch. None of those people ever really talked to me again, which I can understand.

whoa, did you pass out or something? Dick caught in the sucker-uper, then boner, then cut in the penis, the pass out from blood loss? Did they ass rape you? Then did you pass out? WHAT HAPPENED MAN!?!

One time a drank more than half a bottle of E&J (I'm 90 pounds mind you). I was way to drunk tripping everywhere puking my brains out but the most embarrassing part was that when my girlfriends tried to give me a blow job I couldn't even keep a stiffy.

Do it anyway aha.

..nick shantz?

Gahah. Why would you bring that up here.

Got dosed with a massive amount of ketamine on a houseboat, and the next thing I remember I was tied to a tube covered in shapie in the middle of a lake

Eh not that embarassing..my friends just harp on me alot about it. I was on mushrooms..I had a 1L bottle of water in my hand. Something made me laugh and i spat out the water in my mouth and then proceeded to spill ALL the water out of the 1L bottle. Apparently I tipped it and squeezed or some shit? Anyways, it got all over the comfy floor bed i had made, aswell as the walls, TV, and much of the room.

I got really drunk at my friend's house, and I ended up drinking half a bottle of burnett's orange (which is a lot for me). Anyway, after taking my ambien I woke up the next morning on a couch, which I didn't remember getting to. Anyway, my friend told me while I was walking to the basement, I tripped in mid air, and when I proceeded to pass out on the stairs. I had to get like 3 people to carry me to the basement onto the couch. This was all in front of his mom too. Thank god I don't usually go to this kid's house.

I don't remember them doing anything to me. But yeah, I blacked out I guess, I'm pretty sure they carried me up stairs, but that's all. I guess I just bitched out? I really have no clue. Definitely embarrassing as fuck though, luckily none of them really told anyone about it.

I puked in my friends sink, clogged it, and left the tap running over night. The next morning the sink had overflowed and flooded through the bathroom floor and woke his parents up by tripping into their room.
Another time I passed out while taking a dump in a bathroom in my dorm and woke up with my head poking out from under the stall being laughed at by like 8 people.

roflawlmfao
best one yet

A few months back I was getting drunk and high with some friends and we went out for a walk. So, there I am with a bottle of liquor in a brown paper bag walking down the street with two other drunken idiots and one guy sober. I feel the need to piss, so I walk into one of the doorways of a store and begin to relieve myself.

I Feel a tap on the shoulder and I turn around, one hand holding booze, the other holding my dick, and I see a police officer standing there. Keep in mind I'm still peeing. So, we both look down and see a stream of pee coming down onto the policeman's left shoe. He looks back up and I start laughing.

The sober guy ended up doing a-lot of smart talking and the cop let me go.

Freshman year in college i drank myself till i passed out on the sidewalk outside a frat house got arrested

My sophmore year i ended up fucking this chick on my friends front porch and the pizza guy comes to the door and catches us kind of funny imo....

got so smashed off everclear that I finger painted in my own puke on a glass coffee table

I got too drunk last night and couldn't get it up long enough to fuck and broke like 3 cups of coffe within an hour. Then I threw cup cakes and poured beer on someone, busted my ass bad trying to skateboard on the beer covered kitchin tile, then I fell asleep on the yard swing.

Gahah. Why would you bring that up here.

They don't even know him. What's Gahah? Good or bad? aha.

I saw him the other day riding his bike all hardcore. He's in the army now, fighting for.. uhm representative democratic, puppet run bullshit. Free education would be bad ass I have to admit, not that he's going to take advantage.. not that he COULD take advantage.

I rang up my girlfriends mum at 2 in the morning, just barely able to talk(thanks absinthe!). She started shouting at me, and because I was trashed, and I didn't know what to do, I passed the phone to my mate, who not knowing who it was, proceded to tell her heaps of bullshit stories to her, which she took seriously E.G, that I was a registered sex offender, that I was a junkie and that I was schizophernic. Got dumped gahah.

I was at one party, and ate a brownie with a 1/4 oz weed in it (huge brownie),drank about 5 shots of vodka, had a couple beers, and smoked a fair amount of bowls.

Then, I got picked up by my friend and his gf and my ex gf (it was our second date at the time we later dated 3 months, horrible btw) and went to another party, played some beer pong with my ex and we won game after game for about 3 hours. Finally, another one of my friends shows up with a big bottle of tequila and I take about 5 shots of it in the blink of an eye and halfway through the next beer pong game I run upstairs and throw up in the toilet...or so I thought. The next day everyone said the whole bathroom was covered in my vomit...LMAO...don't know how I did it...but I played and won more beer pong after that so I guess it wasn't a total loss.

There is this girl that always has parties at her house and so one night I get a call from some drunk motherfucker to head over there. I guess the owner of the house wasn't there and some kids she knew broke into her house and threw that fucking party. Either way I ended up getting all wrecked and staggered into the garage where these random bros were playing beer pong so me and this kid fucking body slam their beer pong table like mid game and end up getting the shit kicked out of us but I don't remember it all that well. All I remember afterwards is standing on the roof of one of their cars and pissing through their sunroof into their car while all covered in blood and wine and dirt. It was a good night

a QUARTER? As in 7 grams??? jesus fuck...

I was with some guys all on mush an rolls and we decided to go to walmart at like 2 in the morning. We were walking pas the checkout and my stomach was fucked up so I started for the bathroom cuz I could feel the shrooms were gonna make me puke. As I turn toward the bathroom, this bitch pushes a whole long train of carts in front of me. I started to walk around the fucking carts and just as I turn past the last cart, I puke d like alien style like 3 feet in front of me. Since I eat shrooms whole and just chase them with water, I looked down and saw just whole mushies in water on the floor. I turned around, told my friends we needed to leave (we had only been there like 5 minutes) and walked out. As we got in the car, I cracked up and told them what happened.

I'm at a party and drink about 20 shots of vodka and 10 beers. Everyone is asleep except for me and this kid who arrived really late and is sober. I play him at chess and we agree to take one shot for every piece we lose. Well the game ends up with me winning with only my king and 1 bishop left and all he has is his king. I stumble upstairs and fall asleep face first in a chair at around 3am. The next morning I wake up around 8 on the floor and I'm still extremely drunk. Somehow I managed to be about the only person that drank heavily and didn't puke all night. As soon as I open my eyes though puke flys out of my mouth and all over my arms. Some one comes to hand me a bowl to continue to puke in and I tell them that it won't be necessary and that since I started puking all over myself I might as well continue. Then I finish and as I get up I accidentally step in the bowl of someone else's puke.

OK, I have a few.

1. I was at this chicks party with about 20 people. Drank around a whole carton of beer to myself, and proceeded to pass out on the chicks couch. I wake up in the morning missing an eyebrow. I found out who did it, and he was at the next party I was at so I shaved a cock in to his leg hair.

2. (not really embarrasing for me) I was having a party at my place, and one guy went missing for like an hour. I walked in to the toilet to take a piss, and he had passed out whilst shitting. He woke up with me and about 5 other people laughing at him

3. I went to this guys party, smoked a fair bit of chronic, drank a shitload of straigh Smirnoff, and spent the rest of the night spewing everywhere. He had a party the next night too, so I just smoked a shitload of weed.

They don't even know him. What's Gahah? Good or bad? aha.

I saw him the other day riding his bike all hardcore. He's in the army now, fighting for.. uhm representative democratic, puppet run bullshit. Free education would be bad ass I have to admit, not that he's going to take advantage.. not that he COULD take advantage.

Ya, but I'll get an email about it from someone, I know it. Gahah is a combination of Gah and ahahah. Which bad. Kind of like an awkward laugh. I didn't think he was serious about joining the army haha. God. what a kid.



Anyways. One time I was real drunk sitting on my friends front porch with a bunch of people. Drinking beer. My friends really weird dad comes out to talk to us or something. He's a weird guy. So he's standing like, right in front of me when I get the sudden urge to puke. He was blocking my path to the garden so I just threw up right there on his leg. But he didn't even notice. So I get up and lean over the porch and puke some more, and he still doesn't notice. Like ten minutes later he was like "Hmm. I believe I felt a splatter earlier. Did I knock something over?" and this one guy was like "uh... no dad, you didn't" and we all laughed.

I like how most of these stories involve vomit.

there was this one time where i decided to drink 20 beers a pint of captain morgan tattoo and 4 shots of jd.... and then decided to drive to another party, end up puking out the side of my car while driving, and then at this other party i decide to try to jump the fire which ended up very badly to say the least

another time i decided to drink a handle of svedka vodka, i ended up fighting my friend crying for no apparent reason and passing out on my friends jet ski

i was drunk at this party one time and i was drunk as fuck, so me and my friend are playing pong against these 2 chicks, sadly one of them is fat and ugly, and my friend is hitting on the other one. we decide to play pantless beer pong. thank god thats all it went to, it could have been way worse if i smashed that fatty

another time i got so drunk, my friend brought this black kid over who he knew from college, and i kept calling him a moolie and saying that its ok if i call him that since im racist. i then get my ass kicked.

Wow you sound like a douche bag.

One time at this party back in highschool I fucked the wrong chick because I was drunk...

We've all been in situations like this.

stiffy.

STIFFY hahahaha i havent heard that word in years. fucking win

One time after a night of heavy drinking at my friends house I wake up and decide to take a piss. I stumble around, opening every door until I make my way to the bathroom. Then I find it but theres no fucking light switch, so I had the bright idea of leaving the door open and peeing in the sink. I woke up my friend who sees me peeing in the sink and starts cracking up as I yell "ayyy Paulaayyyyyyy"

The next morning I woke up covered in what I thought was piss, until I realized it was beer I spilt on myself the last night. My friends still like to believe I covered the bed in piss though

Just happened 3 hours ago, woke up from a everclear fueled coma being spooned by the fattest girl I know and my ex.

Still trying to figure out what happened

one night a few st patrick days ago i woke up with no pants at my friends house. now thats not amazing at all. but the real reason my pants was off was not because of "accidentaly" losing them, but because in middle of the night i woke up not knowing where i was but had to pee. i proceeded to piss all over the back of the living room chair while pissing on another friend who was sleeping in the chair thought out the whole time. he fucking couldnt figure out why he smelled like piss the next day and i told him it was him fucking rolling around in the grass pissing hisself.... still never told my friend, at least while he was sober enough to actually remember.

Just happened 3 hours ago, woke up from a everclear fueled coma being spooned by the fattest girl I know and my ex.

god, I can't imagine that shit :(

Okay, dinner @ the 'rents house typically involves 4 glasses of wine, at least two glasses of port, a few bowls with dad and then a couple beers. Unfortunately, this time my sister was there and decided to hand me two snifters of patron. I’m so wasted that my parents are shocked (never seen me that fucked before) they fed me water and I spilled it all over everything in proximity and went about slurring in an Irish accent (I'm from N America). So my sister drives me home and all is fine and good...

A few days later we are talking on the phone and I mention a weird dream I'd had that night; I was pissing on the road some on my self, waving @ cars as they passed. She then told me that it wasn't a dream. This opened a Pandora’s Box due to my knowing how my brain remembers blackout periods. Other vague golden memories came back to me full force, I love alcohol.

As stupid as this sounds, is there a way to remember what you did before you blacked out? You know those times when you get so pissed you dont remember the whole evening, and then parts of it come back to you, but not everything? It always happens to me my friends usually fill me in on the stupid things I did, but there always seems to be bits missing! I'll try and think of an embarassing story and post later.

ive had a few too many embarassing drunk moments.

My friend had a pretty huge party back in high school so naturally i pounded down about a fifth of gin (yeah I know disgusting). So I was sitting on the couch spittin game to some whore when all of a sudden i feel like im going to puke. I put my hand over my mouth and puke sprays all over her and me and the couch/floor. I try to run to the bathroom but someone else is locked in there puking. Unfortunately right behind the door to the bathroom is the stairs to the basement. I end up falling over backwards and rolling down the stair case while violently puking at the same time. There was puke smeared all over the walls all over the ground and everything. Pretty embarassing. I also shit myself in the lobby of my dorm last year after eating shitty mexican taco salad with my face and had to run up 10 flights of stairs with shit sliding down my leg.

in a friends parents 800 thousand dollar house, passed out upstairs because I drank a handle of wild turkey and about six shots of bacardi. Anyways, my older brothers friend found me passed out in the hall way, he woke me up because he tried to move me to a bathroom, and I told him dont move me I am dizzy. As he was dragging me to the bathroom I threw up all over my friends dad's fifty thousand dollar foreign rug that he had laid out in his bed room. I ruined it. But it was fun.

One time I was at a party and I drank a few beers, I didn't socialize very much, then I drove home.

Now that's embarrassing!:D

(I did) My friends' sisters. (I did) My sister's friends.

All worth it. Just wish I could remember :(

I haven't really made an ass of myself whilst drunk/high, just some isolated incidents...

Like I was at a party, didn't actually drink anything there, but had about 50cl of vodka (for me, that is a lot) at home before it. Anyway apparently I threw a pint of water over this girl I know because I didn't like the guy she was seeing, and I also got back with my ex and then wandered off and kissed some other girl while she was watching, about 5 minutes later.

None of it is really bad, just standard drunk wanker behaviour.

Some of it isn't really harmful to anyone, just funny... One time I was high and drunk and (I don't remember this but someone took a video) me and a mate were dancing around a dinner table like members of some crazy cult... some girl came and tried to join in and we calmly explained to her that she wasn't one of the chosen people and would just have to wait her turn...

I don't even know why I'm posting this stuff. I'm tired.

I used to drink too much and cut.
I still hate myself.

First time i got drunk. Pretty much drank whatever i found in my way. Ended up playing races in the middle of the street with a friend of mine, and then throwing out my guts, and then falling unconscious, and then being put in the shower so i'd react (no memory of this at all).

Fucking good times.

I remember fooling around with this chick (called Sofie) at a party when I was really thrashed. She's normally considered one of the hottest girls at school, doesn't get drunk often, but when she does, she gets really slutty. Well, apparently, after I made out with her (which I remember), we walked down the street together to chill out from the party a bit. I can't remember anything past this moment. I wake up in my own house the next day and assumed I just went home not long after the whole thing, being sortof proud of myself for having kissed the hottest girl in school.

Back at school, during the course of the following week my friends start asking me "did you really do it with Sofie" and I assumed they were talking about the making out thing, so I replied "well yeah, is that such a big deal?" But I noticed everyone was alot more hush hush and uptight about the whole thing than usual. Sofie called me back 2 days afterwards and told me she already had a boyfriend and that "last night meant nothing". After a while the rumours stopped going around and I slowly forgot about the event.

Then 2 months later I found out (through someone from another school who was there at the party) that I had actually fucked her in the bushes while we were away from the party and that I had actually returned there to brag to people about it. I tried to get "evidence" from Sofie herself by bringing it up during private conversation and it turns out I did get laid that night. Yeah, I lost my virginity to the hottest chick at school and I have absolutely no recollection of the WHOLE thing. Took me another fucking year to get laid.

Haha I don't remember losing mine either bro.. but that was the fault of Xanax.

your story is way better though.

It was Christmas. We had a family reunion. I started at somewhere around 6 o clock with some Irish beer, followed on with some regular beer, then it was dinner time, around 10 pm. I had taken about 2 or 3 sixes by the time.

We obviously had wine with the dinner, and I was still drinking beer.

Finished up my beer, drank all the wine (more than one bottle just me). Followed on with tequila, and then when that ran out, I took some brandy.

Neither my extreme drunkeny nor the cola drink I mixed it with were enough to drown the terrible ass-sweat flavor( brandy tastes like absolute shit!), so I only drank one glass.
Only the flavor by itself was enough to knock a cow dead.

Next thing was, 12 o clock, go back home with my dad; another state, long highway with many loops, me awfully drunk with the taste of the fucking brandy in my mouth. You all know the rest.

Quite sometime ago, i was at an eldery man's apartment helping him fix his computer, anyway we are drinking wine.. and i had also been pumping myself with lunesta for the past 4-5 days hours... stay up all night going through all of the bottle of lunesta.. and drinking all the wine.. i ened up ripping his laptop apart, fucing his computer up , and then not putting the ram back in.. and somehow somewhere in my drug and wine induced hypo-trance fucked off my rocker mind.. piss in my cats littermain cat box..

hehhe

one time i woke up drunk in a trailer park @ like 3-4 am and knocked on peorpels trailer doors looking for a street so i could find the trailer i was staying at a friends place.. where i fucked her and her daughter many a times..

There are many more.

This one is probably the funniest.

Party at a friends house, where we werent supposed to have alcohol.

This guy gets all trippy with just two shots.

House guy's mother comes out real pissed to find out we are drinking.

Drunk guy comes over, sees her and tries to get her to dance with him.

Some time later, he just rushes to the gates, climbs out after many attempts and runs into the night screaming he didnt wanna die. Some pals went after him and reached a dead end. He jumped off a tree behind them, said -got you! and ran back to the house.

Eating jimson weed was pretty bad. I ended up wrecking my friend's entire house for reasons still unknown to both parties. i barely remember anything from it except for a terrifying vision of giant hellgrammites (look those terrifying bastards up on Wikipedia) talking to me and smoking a blunt with me that blew up after the last hit, and being in some sort of museum full of terrifying glass sculptures of horrible Lovecraftian imagery, which might explain the ruined house. I was out for a total of three days, and I woke up to find ten missed calss from people who had reportedly received garbled text messages about how god was wrong to throw satan down to earth (?!). Definitely had a lot of egg on my face after that bout of near-terminal curiosity.

oh jesus, this isnt even fair but here goes.

1. I start with this one because it isnt as bad.

I had just gotten out of the first serious relationship of my life, and went on a 3 day meth binge with my brother. once the shards were gone, I grabbed a pint of 151 and 2 methadone wafers. I started walking home (15 miles) and gave up like 10 minutes in. I sat down and snorted the methodone off the street and slammed the pint. I then laid down to die. A girl from highschool finds me in this state and takes me to her place where she induces vomiting. The next thing I know my head is between her legs. I start sobbing. she says I also puked on her that night but I dont remember that. I just remeber sobbing on her vagina.

2. this is the bad one.

I have been partying for like 2 days, then I go and hang out with a bunch of sober friends. They buy alcohol and I start drinking with them. then I eat some random pill someone gives me and thats when I lose all recolection.

from what I have heard during this period i pissed in my friends floor, and then swore his bb gun was a rifle and started shooting it in his house. I also repeatedly called my girlfriend by her sisters name. everyone took me out of there so I didnt do more damage and we went for a walk. I bought more liquor and drank another half pint. I then cussed out all my friends and my girlfriend then wandered off.

the next thing I know I wake up staring at the stars wondering where I am. I I am in my girlfriends back yard, and I also realize I have heavily shat my pants.

I get up and wonder to a crash out shed we used at this point and lay down to pass out.

the next thing I know my best friend stumbles in drunk as hell and tell me how much I stink, he then helps carry me to my girlfriends dads boat where everyone is passing out.

as soon as I step in everyone almost vomits because of the smell. I strip down naked in front of everyone and wipe my ass with my girlfriends dads hat. then lay down next to my girlfriend who pushes me into the floor and laughs her ass off. I wake up the next morning to find my girlfriend cleaning up my shitty clothes and laughing then puking in a big cycle. to top it off they left at like noon but, I had to stay in the boat until nightfall when I managed to sneak out and creep from the boat to a friends house butt ass naked. I knocked on his window and he laughed his ass off then gave me some pants. I walked home and took like 3 showers. my friends still laugh about it to this day

Was trippin out on 4 hits of strong acid and i went to the backrooms and saw that water was leaking out of the wall and then i got nauseous and went towards the bathroom but someone was in it so i puked all through their living room and a little on the wall and a trail through the kitchen to the front door and I ran outside and was done... So then I put on some music and used all their towels to clean it up lol

Me and a bud ordered UFC PPV and decided to drink a little bit. About 10 more people ended up coming with their own booze and weed and cramming into a tiny room to watch the fights. I was chilling in my friends room smoking some weed drunk off my ass and we finish off the first 40 of royal reserve. I go to fetch the Vodka from the freezer and when I return to my friends room I scream "I GOT THE BOOZE" and fall face first through his table.

We proceeded to drink the vodka and watch the main event which was Forrest Griffin vs Rampage. When Forrest won we just went crazy and I started punching my best friend (who is 100 pounds heavier than me) in the face. We had a little UFC fight of our own that went on for at least 10 minutes. Other people had to stop the fight because I just kept going in my liquor induced state. I ended up with a broken nose, broken jaw, black eyes, almost all my knuckles broken and torn to shreds, giant cuts on my knees from kneeing him in the face and a gash on my head from putting my head through his door. I passed out on the floor soon after that. I woke up the next morning and drove myself to the hospital. I got the shit kicked out of me.