totse.com | The Gods have given me an opportunity

rabbitweed · #1 2008-07-17, 09:03

There's this one girl I've had my eye on for a little bit. She's intelligent, classy, pretty, great sense of humour...I tend to be pretty fussy with who I count as girlfriend material, but she is definitely that. It's a little intimidating to be face to face with a girl I can't dismiss for whatever reason, but I love it.

There's a few things though. She's friends with a group of people I hang out with. I mainly see her when I'm hanging out with her cousin, who she flats with. Now this dude is a really cool guy. I do not want to make things weird between us, we're starting to become really good mates and I value him a lot.

Another thing is, I'm not entirely sure what she thinks of me. I can't tell if she's interested or not. I am much less comfortable around her than around girls I only sort of like, I know I need to break out of that, but I'm not sure how. Alcohol may help?

Anyway, in about 24 hours I will be at her (and her cousins) house, drinking with a bunch of people then heading out to town (ie to go bar crawling and clubbing for you dirty foreigners). My goals:

1. Find out if she's interested
2. If yes, get her number
3. Keep things cool with the cousin/my mate. I don't think he's protective of her or anything, but still you gotta be careful.

I have no idea how to do any of this. Specific advice please.

PS; For the record, she's not the slutty type, and I don't want to bone her tomorrow night.

J.P.W · #2 2008-07-17, 09:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabbitweed View Post

There's this one girl I've had my eye on for a little bit. She's intelligent, classy, pretty, great sense of humour...I tend to be pretty fussy with who I count as girlfriend material, but she is definitely that. It's a little intimidating to be face to face with a girl I can't dismiss for whatever reason, but I love it.

There's a few things though. She's friends with a group of people I hang out with. I mainly see her when I'm hanging out with her cousin, who she flats with. Now this dude is a really cool guy. I do not want to make things weird between us, we're starting to become really good mates and I value him a lot.

Another thing is, I'm not entirely sure what she thinks of me. I can't tell if she's interested or not. I am much less comfortable around her than around girls I only sort of like, I know I need to break out of that, but I'm not sure how. Alcohol may help?

Anyway, in about 24 hours I will be at her (and her cousins) house, drinking with a bunch of people then heading out to town (ie to go bar crawling and clubbing for you dirty foreigners). My goals:

1. Find out if she's interested
2. If yes, get her number
3. Keep things cool with the cousin/my mate. I don't think he's protective of her or anything, but still you gotta be careful.

I have no idea how to do any of this. Specific advice please.

PS; For the record, she's not the slutty type, and I don't want to bone her tomorrow night.

If you find out if she wants to go out with you, let your mate know you like her alot and dont just want a quick fuck, he should understand.
I suggest you find out if she likes you first before telling your mate.

Atticus Finch · #3 2008-07-17, 18:32

If she lives with her cousin, whom you're good friends with, you already have her number... ass hat.

dude_wha? · #4 2008-07-17, 21:28

Well, easy on the booze friend, unless you're really good at finding the line between confidence and asshole.

Well, first off, take it slow. If you guys hang out with the same group of people, you should have plenty of other chances to chill with her, so don't rush things. Just joke around some, find some common interests, etc. The big thing is, let it happen on its on. Don't follow her around the party talking to her, keep back some, let her have some doubt as well about your feelings towards her. Let the relationship grow over all the group stuff, and after hanging out with her for a couple of times with your mutual friends, ask if she'd like to go get a coffee or something afterwards, or lunch the next day, etc etc. Keep it really relaxed, and her answer should tell you everything you need to know. This also is casual enough to help keep the cousin from thinking you want just a quick fuck, but it couldn't hurt if you let him know.

Granted, I don't know her, but as a female this is how I like to be approached by a guy. Beats the hell out of shitty pick-up lines.

Good luck with everything, let us know how it all turns out.

Nightside Eclipse · #5 2008-07-17, 21:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atticus Finch View Post

If she lives with her cousin, whom you're good friends with, you already have her number... ass hat.

'Cause he won't look like a creeper calling her without getting her number.

Byss · #6 2008-07-18, 06:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabbitweed View Post

She's intelligent, classy, pretty, great sense of humour...

Then why would she go for a creepy guy like you? You'd think she has better options...

5MOK420 · #7 2008-07-18, 06:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by dude_wha? View Post

Well, easy on the booze friend, unless you're really good at finding the line between confidence and asshole.

Well, first off, take it slow. If you guys hang out with the same group of people, you should have plenty of other chances to chill with her, so don't rush things. Just joke around some, find some common interests, etc. The big thing is, let it happen on its on. Don't follow her around the party talking to her, keep back some, let her have some doubt as well about your feelings towards her. Let the relationship grow over all the group stuff, and after hanging out with her for a couple of times with your mutual friends, ask if she'd like to go get a coffee or something afterwards, or lunch the next day, etc etc. Keep it really relaxed, and her answer should tell you everything you need to know. This also is casual enough to help keep the cousin from thinking you want just a quick fuck, but it couldn't hurt if you let him know.

Granted, I don't know her, but as a female this is how I like to be approached by a guy. Beats the hell out of shitty pick-up lines.

Good luck with everything, let us know how it all turns out.

this. i like how there are more girls to post on totse now, it creates a more balanced temple.

anyways.

sounds like youve got the plan laid out really, but only thing ill say to help out is that girls like it more when a guy acts normal and doesnt put tention on "sexual and emotional attraction". just dont stress it man, if she is a cool chick then just be chillin around her, treat her as a friend but dont get stuck in the friend zone (dont let her talk about other guys, make it obvious you give 2 shits if she brings up gal drama.)

this advice may seem vague so ill put it more simply, stop thinking with about getting with her and start thinking about having a good time just hanging out with her. the best relationships start out as great friendships. starting a relationship with no memories is weak.

Riposte · #8 2008-07-18, 08:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5MOK420 View Post

this advice may seem vague so ill put it more simply, stop thinking with about getting with her and start thinking about having a good time just hanging out with her. the best relationships start out as great friendships. starting a relationship with no memories is weak.

Yeah, I'd follow this and give it some time.

Atticus Finch · #9 2008-07-18, 17:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nightside Eclipse View Post

'Cause he won't look like a creeper calling her without getting her number.

Call his house at a time you know he won't be home, ask for him, he's not there and you begin playful banter with the women you aim to please.

Fanglekai · #10 2008-07-19, 00:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atticus Finch View Post

Call his house at a time you know he won't be home, ask for him, he's not there and you begin playful banter with the women you aim to please.

Clever.

There's a lot of good advice in this thread. Just be chill around her, and give it some time. Rushing things is usually what ruins it. Have fun with her and have fun with the other people you're going out with. Flirt with her a little. Initiate a little arm-touching and that sort of thing. Definitely don't ignore the other people, though. If these are her friends too, you'll want to make sure you stay on good terms with them. It would make it more difficult if she has to pick between either you or her friends.

So that being said, go out and have a beer. Enjoy the night. Make up some bullshit about something you want to do in a few days and see if she wants to go with you. There's your opportunity to get her number, and if she's interested she'll go. If she's not interested, you won't need her number.

Best of luck.