Holy fucking shit, that was easily the worst E3 conference I've ever seen, what an atrocity. I feel really bad for the people who had to sit through that tedious bullshit, if I had been in the audience I would have seriously considering suing Nintendo for pain and suffering.

They had nothing, nothing to show that was worthwhile. They were so desperate they were showing lame ass Ubisoft games like Rayman Raving Rabbids 3 as if we should be excited for such shovelware garbage. Beside that we got to see Call of Duty: World at War, a port from the more powerful consoles, and Star Wars: The Clone Wars, which looks to take the idea we've all been excited for, lightsaber duels, and totally shit all over it. Those three games, alongside Shaun White snowboarding, represented their entire "hardcore" thrust.

We also get a new Animal Crossing, which looks exactly like the Gamecube game, except now you can visit a city too. Awesome.

After that we got Wii Sports Resort, which, and I don't know how they accomplished this, looks even more casual than Wii Sports. Before the show I said to myself "Man, I'd love to see a more fleshed out Wii Sports 2", and now, I can safely say that I wish I could unsee what I saw. They showed three "sports", the first was "THROWING A FRISBEE TO YOUR FUCKING DOG", the aptly named "sport" that looks like something that was in develop for Nintendogs Wii before Nintendo said "Fuck it, we don't even need to develop full games, the idiots will buy this all on it's own! Minigames for life!". Next they showed Reggie playing what was obviously a hard too control Wave Race reject. Hey guys, why don't you, I don't know, make a fucking Wave Race instead? After that they showed some piss poor "1:1" swordfighting, made possible by the new Motion Plus accessory. It didn't look too hot, but I'm sure they'll put a little effort into it, that way you'll have some incentive to buy their $20 add-on that's about the size of pool chalk.

Finally they unveiled Wii Music, apparently this coat hanger abortion was supposed to be their centerpiece, but it was an awkward mess that looked entirely unfun and woefully inadequate when compared to Rock Band. The game's big feature is apparently the fact that it requires no skill, and that all you need to do to play is shake the Wii-mote like a retard and notes come out. There's no interface, no actual gameplay, you just shake to the beat and whatever instrument you're pretending to play makes notes that you really didn't create. The highlight was when they brought out four dipshits too shake around like Michael J. Fox on a bad day, doing a poor rendition of the Mario Bros. theme with more stray notes and off beat rhythms then you'd expect out of a preschooler playing Beethoven. They even had a professional drummer on stage doing a solo, and even he couldn't manage to make the game sound like anything other than dogshit.

Then the show ended, and I heard the screams of a million Nintendo fanboys as they realized nothing else was coming. I watched NeoGAF erupt in shock before succumbing to a server error, unable to handle the load of disgusted messages like the one you're reading now.

What a sad day to be a Nintendo fan.

Ehh, that's good. At least now we can have more time to fap all over Microsoft.

EDIT: I actually don't care about what people say, I'm still getting Force Unleashed for the Wii.

Nice fucking write up... YOUR STUCK IN A FUCKING CEREAL BOWL!

Serious though, both press con's so far sucked shit.

wii music looks like one of the most painful games ever. who would want to play a fucking xylophone on wii?
http://cache.kotaku.com/assets/resources/2007/10/wii_music_leadin.jpg

an xylophone or bongo drums played with 2 remotes would be fun

To be fair, most Wii games look exactly like the Gamecube game.

Yeah, but I'm not talking just in terms of graphics, I'm saying it looks like nearly the same game in terms of gameplay as well.

Not that I care, I've never liked the AC games anyway, but it's becoming obvious that instead of pushing forward after making such a breakthrough with the Wii, they'd rather rast on their laurels.

Well, the Sony show was pretty uneventful, but not Nintendo bad. I didn't watch the entire thing because it was pretty boring, and the guy talking, Jack Tretton I believe, was really awkward to watch. There were quite a few instances where he just seemed out of his element, but at one point he made a joke about Jack Palance being dead, and the audience booed the shit out of him.

I will say that their idea of doing all the stupid sales information, pie charts, and graphs using Little Big Planet was pretty cool.

In terms of conferences, Microsoft made both Sony and Nintendo look like chumps.

Uhh, you forgot to mention WiiSpeak. The new voice chat add-on and possibly biggest announcement of the press conference.

The Wii and it's half arsed games have been shit from day one. The novelty is finally wearing off, and people are starting to realize Wii Sports is all the Wii has to offer.