My boyfriend has said to me, on numerous occasions, that he knows he could do better than me girlfriend-wise, but he's "comfortable" with me.

Frankly, that hurts.

None of the times he's said this have been out of anger or frustration, just in a casual tone.

I'm not really sure, myself. He's even talking about having kids and whatnot, while he holds this opinion of me.

I really dont just want to be settled for, who would?

So, I ask you S&A of totse, what would you do if your (for lack of better term) "partner" said the same thing to you?

You haven't told him to fuck off yet?

I don't know how you could take that being said in any way that wasn't a joking manner.

Your post has made me infuriated. Dump him. He should be kissing the ground that you walk on. Given, everyone says dumb shit at some point but this is unacceptable. You should leave him alone so that he can get 'better'. Don't be settled. Have a guy chase you! This guy is an idiot and doesn't know what he's talking about. Seriously. Do you want to be with someone who will 'have kids' with someone that they just merely settle for? NO.

Your boyfriend is awesome. I tell my girlfriend that too in a joking way...

So if he has the balls to tell you this to your face, he probably could to better. So you better get hotter fast.

You must have pretty rock bottom low self esteem to stay with him, and it almost seems like he's trying to break it down further to put you in his control.

That, or you're doing that woman thing where you're twisting his weirds to make a better sympathy grabbing tale.

Which lol

he probably actually can do better. in which case you have a boyfriend of higher level than you deserve and you shouldn't mess this up.

It's clear he already has broken her down. In this case eBagger is right, someone that arrogant probably has a great deal of potential relationships. Don't hate her boyfriend for being intelligent and wanting to keep ahead of the game. Everyone wants to know they have options if a relationship turns south, and the more potential relationships our partner would have(ie, our partner's social worth) is a huge determinant in attraction. In short, he has made a couple of casual comments that have you flustered and ready to eat out of his hand. I tip my hat to him, well played good sir.

I cant say my self esteem is terribly high.

His exact words were "Cause I know I can do better. But sometimes people get comfortable with what they have."

It makes me feel like a pair of ratty old jeans that are real comfortable but you wouldnt wear them to anywhere you'd want to look half decent

I'm sure those ratty old jeans would rather be their owners favorite jeans to wear in private than in the garbage or at good will.

You're still with this asshole? He's being manipulative and disrespectful. I wouldn't be surprised if he eventually started hitting you and shit, too. Get rid of his ass.

Dump him. You can do better.

That's the point. You're assessment of him is spot-on, and that is why she will never leave him.

Fuck that. You deserve better. What the fuck does someone's "social worth" mean in the long run? Nothing.

*slaps Katze Upside the head*

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Get caught with child porn=2-4 years in prison. Act of ILLEGALLY downloading child porn IF it had a copyright symbol: 10 YEARS! moral of the story: whilst obtaining child porn, make sure you buy it on dvd first. Danny Rlslog

He will eventually cheat on you, if he knows that.

What a dick. If a girlfriend said that to me, by the time she finished saying it I would already be halfway through telling her she's dumped.

Srsly if I knew the guy in person, I'd ninja kick him right in the wiener.

Want me to chase you?

I'm good at it.

Stay with this guy for any longer and he's really going to fuck you up. You need someone who's going to treat you well and APPRECIATE YOU.

Do you feel like he's the best you can do? Do you think you can get better?

With an attitude like his, this relationship is not going to do ANY good for you. I strongly suggest you dump his ass before any last damage is done. I'm assuming you're in high school, these years are so important in forming your outlook for later in life for EVERYTHING. If you stick with him (god knows why you'd do that) you're going to adopt a permanent mindset that you aren't good enough. Being insecure and unsure of yourself in relationships leads to a number of destructive things, for instance, bad sex and jealousy. Those things in a relationship are poison.

As difficult as it may seem, I hope you can see the bog picture and realize this guy has the potential (and will if you let him) to really fuck you up for future boyfriends.

Relationships are supposed to make you feel good. My first boyfriend made me feel like a goddess, like I was the best thing that's ever been created and that set the stage for my sense of self worth. It kept me from slutting around when all the other girls were fucking a different guy every week. It made me have high standards for future relationships. And it's made me be hopeful that all men are dumb idiots. It's sad, but I remember listening to older women and even girls my age complaining about how all men are stupid assholes, and I've never been so jaded because my ex is a wonderful guy and I'm hopeful.

So, don't let him fuck you up. You deserve someone who is ECSTATIC to have you. What a douche bag to say that to you. Be strong, realize your worth and get rid of him.

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Don't be a hater! Bitches.

Ha, cheat on him. With a hotter guy.

Ultimate pwnage.

Yes, you're absolutely right

but

A slap upside the head is quicker and more effective.

__________________
Get caught with child porn=2-4 years in prison. Act of ILLEGALLY downloading child porn IF it had a copyright symbol: 10 YEARS! moral of the story: whilst obtaining child porn, make sure you buy it on dvd first. Danny Rlslog

You're setting a bad precedent for yourself.

By staying with him you're accepting what he says is true. It's a downward spiral.

Well, can he do better?



Basically, when he's done having random and meaningless sex with attractive but uninteresting women he'll want you to take care of him and his brood.


Grats.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=6C2yfaYePq4

Hmm.

I'll lay off calling upon what I know of your physique, or your boyfriend, or the number of snide comments which suggest he's lying.

...buuut.... has he said how he thinks he "could" do better? I mean... seriously... is he talking... appearance? Intelligence? Personality? If it's looks... by other people's standards, or by his?

Or... is he just trying to use amazingly nonspecific hurtful comments to put you in a position of coerced dependency based on him lying to you?

I can honestly see a situation which involves, say, staying with someone one thinks is ugly as shit, because one prefers them as a person... though I can't see just being so damned... casual... about it. More like "trying to never mention it and being as gentle as possible without lying," 'cause, well... sometimes, people are fragile like that ('n it's understandable that one shouldn't seek to poke them), and worse still, sometimes people can't comprehend being valued as a person rather than for their most superficial use (which I don't understand at all).

...but then again? I could also see the possibility of many, many things which fall into the "red flags" territory... so, what do you know about what he's saying, what do you know about why he's saying it... and just where is he on the failed sensitivity/insensitive clod/deliberately manipulative sociopath spectrum on this, anyway?

For fucks sake, youre just misunderstanding him. jesus. He MEANS "I could probably pull a hotter girl, but i FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU." As in, he thinks youre the girl for him to settle down with. see it from his perspective and imagine what hes tihnking when he says it. Guys do not get "comfortable" with not-the-hottest girls when they could do better unless theres a reason.

Spliffing raises a good point, it may just be a matter of perspective. Your boy could just be a very unarticulate being, I know a lot of guys word things badly. You should consider talking to him about this, maybe he doesn't realise what he says? Or worse, that there's a problem with saying it.

However, if you believe this relationship to be the poison in your life and that he's controlling you, and I realise this may be falling on deaf ears if he has such control over you, but dump his ass and get away from the source of your misery immediately.

It's difficult to imagine replacing the thing that brings you love, but you shouldn't have to live for someone else, you should live with them. He doesn't sound like he's ever going to kiss the ground you walk on and he shouldn't have to, but he lacks respect for the relationship and for you.

Do you think he's worthy of you? If you really think that he deserves a place on that pedestal then question whether or not it's worth holding on to something so blind and out of reach.

There is no reason for you to stay with such an asshole.

If it really gets to you, just do this:

1)get a nice big tube of super glue.
2)turn lights off.
3)tell him you wanted to spice things up, and so you got a new kind of lube.
4)???
5)Leave the room and let him ponder what you just did.

that'll teach him to settle for you.

next time you sleep with him, cut his dick off

Maybe he just said it without thinking.

But if he meant it, then he is an insensitive bastard.

your bf is a cunt.

im guessing he is a bit of a pretty boy and loves himself even though he aint that good looking. i also wouldn't be surprised if he were on steroids as he sounds highly insecure and beleives he is now more attractive by being more ripped. flirt with his best friend and see what happens.

he thinks that he can keep you in check by putting you down and making himself sound hot. He clearly hasn't realized that this needs to be done subtly and blatently stating it will only make him look like an insecure faggot!

break with him and tell him that your ex was a better fuck than he was. tell your friends he was shit in bed and tell any girls who he hangs with. Then make a new thread in S&A about how he cried like a baby.

he sounds like the type of man/boy who would beat up a 10 yr old to impress you

Er...out of curiosity: isn't your boyfriend/ex a totsean too?

This reminds me of one of my ex girlfriends. Turns out i was drinking everytime i saw her even after we started dating. I quickly learned i was too good for her and inevitably dumped her. She asked me why, if maybe i wasnt ready for a relationship, and i told her the truth, No im ready for one, i just dont want a relationship, a relationship with you. She quickly learned.

yeah so this sounds like a fun relationship...
the thing is you're probably only staying with him because you're comfortable with him too right? you're together, it's safe, you don't want to see him with someone else...but let's call a spade a spade your boyfriend is a prick.

Time to tell him to take off. You deserve better. Anyone that says something like this can't honestly care about your feelings. It will only get worse over time, and chances are he has already had "better than you" temporarily on the side.

this has probably already been said but anyway

make him prove he can do better, dump his ungrateful ass. guys that talk big are really not

its called little dog syndrome. do you really want to be with a pomeranian when you could be with a great dane?

break up with him, now.
you are going to get cheated on and hurt. gtfo of that relationship asap bud. you should be with someone who thinks youre their first and best choice. not 5th or 6th.

Yea, he will definitely cheat on you if he doesn't think you're the one. It's not like he's losing much in his mind...

Why's everyone being so nice and helpfull? It's odd...

He's a low brow, useless, inconsiderate, unappreciative turd thats just holding you back. Like has been said by so many respectable posters, be done with him. Its time for you to move on and live by the strength of the worth of YOUR OWN existence Katz. You'll be fine.

because i expect the same in one of my threads

Anyone who tells you they can do better, is trying to convince themselves that. Ditch him, He sounds like he isn't good for you. I saw your photo, you look decent.

I try to get girls to do that all the time, but they never wanna. "Get down there and twist my weirds bitch!"