Well, i'm stuck.

I've been with my girlfreind for over 3 years now - overall, this is the best realtionship i've ever had with someone. Lots of great memories together, hardly ever fighting -

I'm at a point in my life where...I just don't want commitment to anything right now. I'm 21, as is she. I'm scared to commit any further (and I just plain old, don't want to). She's moving out of her parents house soon, but i'm still going to stay at mine (debt needs to be paid out) - I know she wants to get married one day, me on the other hand, I don't want that at all (who knows in the future)


I love her dearly, and i'm scared if I loose her one day down the road and I want commitment, a partner, someone to be/live together with, I will not find someone even close to what we have.

I know this sounds greedy/selfish but - I want to be able to do what I want, I want to be able to have sex and flings and random dates and meet new people. I want to experience different things in my life. I'm not ready for this commitment...I don't want to settle down.

Should I maybe explain this to her? Ask for a break to get things sorted out? Or should I just break it off? Or, should I keep doing as i'm doing - living a lie, going through everything likes its a-okay, when its not. Again, I love her dearly...I just don't know what to do.

Edit: I should also mention this, I've been going in and out of depression for over a year now - 6 months of this my girlfriend has known about - Shes known what I want her to know, that i'm sad, but for the most part okay except for a crash here and there. I contemplate suicide on a daily basis but in the end do nothing about it due to my relationships in life and what impact it would have on them. I'm scared if I crash hard enough during a breakup of this magnitude, it may push me over the edge. This scares me.

She is/has been a supportive rock of stability for you all these years, including the last six months since she knew about your depression.

Do you think future flings/relationships will be as supportive/stable?

Stay with it.

No, I don't think flings/realtionships will be supportive - But, I need to hold myself up at one point or another, don't I?

Get your head on straight before you get married! No criticism here, just figure out what you want out of life before you marry her and make her miserable. Ask yourself what you REALLY want: are those flings worth losing someone who'll be with you for LIFE? But yes, talk to her. Tell her everything. And yes, she's gonna be upset. Mostly upset because you haven't been honest with her. If you two REALLY love each other, you'll get past it. But either way, if you can, I'd see a professional about your depression. They offer free psych help in most places (to keep you from going deeper into debt). My last piece of advice (which may only be what you pay for it) get your debt straightened out if you decide to get married! More people fight over money than anything else in this country. Good luck!

End of the day, one day you will want what you have now, and when you want what you have now, you won't want to fuck around, sleep with many women etc, believe me mate, its not as good as it sounds, you soon get bored, personally, having been there and done it, i wish i had just stayed with my ex ex ex ex ex instead of fucking her off so i could shag around with other women, believe me 'vagina' is just 'vagina', if you have found a GOOD girl, which you obviously have done, i'm telling you now you probably won't ever meet anyone like her again, worth the chance? i don't think so.

Keep her as she sounds like a decent girl and theres hardly any of them about believe me, screw your head back on and think. You want to get rid of her so you can fuck other women? you can fuck her as many times as you want, pussy is pussy, as i've stated before. Its whats inside that counts, think you can find someone with a good as personality as her? who understands everything you tell her? who is exactly like her? be as happy with as you are with her?

I know what i'd do.

A-fucking-men

Sorry to bring this up from pages ago..haven't checked since I posted last.

Thanks a lot guys, especially southern. I'm going to take your advice... - As much as I know, pussy is pussy - its just hard to think in the way that i'll never be able to fuck/screw/whatever a different girl. But as stated, pussy is pussy.

I really need to get things straightened out in my head, these last few months have been the biggest mind-fuck i've ever had, think its time I really sat down with a psychologist and get something done about it...i've just been fooling myself on a daily basis telling myself it'll go away, its not.

Again, thanks guys.

What you need to realize is that this is one of the rare instances where you can have your cake and eat it too. Just cheat on her behind her back. You can have the best of all possible worlds. You can get some women on the side while still maintaining your relationship with her. You will quickly learn that random sex with slutty women is not emotionally satisfying, and you will thus never have any doubts about your current relationship being wonderful. You should "get it out of your system", so to speak. You can do this without breaking up with her. She'll never know so long as you play your cards right.

this is a godly post.

...clicked "post" one too many times. sorreh

oops...

Damn....damn. I...love...you.

Quoted for Mother-Fucking Truth