I was at loose ends last night so I wrote this up. Im a little embarassed by it, but I want to know what totse thinks.



A Night on the Net: Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Blonde

What a day. Get home, get a beer and settle in at the computer for a little “self communion.” There is a pleasant breeze coming through my open window.

I open up my browser and I can barely help myself, I am about to explode. The window opens, my homepage is saying to me, “What’ll it be tonight?” What will it be?

Endless possibilities. My only regret? I can’t view it all, why can’t I have a god’s-eye-view, taking it all in, in one blink of an eye.

Well then, decisions, decisions…

What will it be then? Blondes, Brunettes, Bondage, oh my! I dare not choose, surely it is wrong for me to choose one over the other. I must see them all.

I am resolved. Time is of the essence. My girlfriend is coming over at eight o’clock and I must be ready to receive her. Or rather, she must be ready to receive me.

Blondes it is, as I will get my dose of Brunette, upon the nocturnal visitation of my lady and the emissions that will undoubtedly follow.

It has begun and my, is it wonderful. It seems so long since I have last seen you, Ms. Jameson, though it was only last week when I last had the pleasure of your company.

You are a tease Ms. Jameson. Every time I reach out to touch you, my hand strikes the liquid crystal of my screen.

The video ends and my love disappears, I am yearning for more. What more? Yes! There is my animal collection, dogs, horses and donkeys, oh my indeed.

This depresses me, the horse is more of a man than I! His is bigger and so is her pleasure, confounded, how I long to be the horse. What else is on the menu?

No! She is here, my sweet, my lady. I hit the “close window” button. Nothing happens. Drat! My computer is searching for viruses? Surely it understands that this is no time for it to freeze up on me!

What to do. She is coming down the hall, time is short, I must think quickly. There is nothing that can be done. I hear her terminal footstep, the knob turns.

She enters into my enclave of pleasure. I should have at least thought to button up my trousers. My exposed member shrivels as I glimpse the look of first shock and then homicidal rage. She is now truly a woman possessed, a she-devil unleashed.

She takes a lamp and flings it at me I dodge it, only to have it strike my computer, sending my avenue of contact to Ms. Jameson out yonder window. I dive for it, through the window I go. Out. Away from my seventeenth story apartment I hurtle, in a vain attempt to reacquire my blonde goddess.

What a pity, my laptop smashes to the pavement moments before…

Hmm, it's not bad. I think this would lend itself well to a more complex, longer piece?

What would you suggest? I suppose I could add something on as a prequel to this.

< My Fapping face!

You fapped? That's what I got out of it.....or you were bored?

It got me up to the semi finals but I had to go to totse erotica for the finals.

Hm, I like it. Towards the end it reminds me of a quote I read once: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

hahaha i like it. unpretencious and not inlove with yourself. your gf sucks if its real. i wouldve just laughed at u

yes indeed

Then he would be dead, you idiot.



I liked it though. The understatement is good; it really adds to the effect. If you want to excel in that, read some other authors that use it, like Palahniuk or someone like that. It was a pretty funny story, though. GJ.