The first drug I ever did was heroin and Ive always had a personal little joke
"i draw the line at heroin, the starting line! One line at a time!"
But that was 4 years ago. since then I've tried pretty much everything and had gotten myself a pretty nasty coke/dope habit IV.
Drugs had made me do so many things I regret yet i still chased it like it was the last light around in.a world of darkness.
I've Od'ed a few times, gone to detox, rehab and back and done just about every fucked up thing you can imagine but I still loved the shit. I loved the life that was killing me. I loved the oblivion. I loved the taste and the bloom of blood the rush the not caring about anything in the world but feeling so good you wouldnt give a shit if you died.

The last time i used hard drugs was 7 months ago. I got to the end of my road, broke and homeless in the dead of winter shivering with dope sickbness just comming down from coke that caused me psychosis. I jumped out a 3 story window, not really to end my life but just becaues there was nothing else I would do at the moment. Fortunately, I only broke a few vertebras and ever since then I've been on methadone. I thought I was done with the life and all it's shit and that I was reforme and lookingb forward, ready to change and live a new life. I repaired my broken relationship with my parents and since then have been trying my best at being a good daughter, a nice well mannerd person and just about everything i was not when i was using.

But the urge is back. I dream about using just about every night and I'm fiending. I already have a plan on how i wld be able to get some coke..it's too easy.
and this has been killing me. It would mean going back on everything I've been trying for for the last half year, and I would again betray the trust my mother has finally granted me again. I feel so guilty but yet the urge whispers in my ear and tortures me everyday. I dont see away out.

I'm at wits end, split by who i want to be, who i used to be and who I am.

It's the hardest thing in the world, quiting, I'm not sure if I can do it.

You need to draw the line right now, your addiction will control you and completely ruin your life. You've hit rock bottom before do you really want to go there again you should learn from your mistakes. Its hard going completely 100% sober I recommend doing other drugs like pot/alcohol/MDMA/psychedelics.

I love you buddy.

dude theres only one thing that will help you fix your life meth and lots of it I reccomend slamming it and drinking lots of 151 also if you want to feel really good you should start smoking rock

My little joke is: you fucked yourself over from the start.

I have a feeling this is a troll but if it's not....

If you don't want to be addicted and you're a strong person then you'll fight it, but if you feel like stealing, being homeless, and an all around pathetic low life just so you can get a high that really doesn't even make you happy anymore then you'll relapse.

You know how to control it. The hardest part is that brain. Occupy it with other things. I know it's remedial, but keep pushing to be that better person.

Wow you sound like a major dumbass.

Don't listen to the "children of the corn" around here bro...stay strong. Fight the urge. YOu gotta stay busy somehow, find something else to fill that high. Me I found exercise, I'm addicted to it 100% and I'd rather that then the bad stuff out there. Just try to stay busy, find some local support and remember how it fucked you up in the first place, you don't need that shit again do you?

Good luck

First of all she is a female. Second of all, don't you have some steroids/body building/rock and roll partying/ shooting up heroin to do?

First of all she is a female. Second of all, don't you have some steroids/body building/rock and roll partying/ shooting up heroin to do?

Yeah, he gives advice like this after bragging about how cool he is..

hmmmmm

Yeah, he gives advice like this after bragging about how cool he is..

hmmmmm

HAHAHA I never bragged about anything. That kid Midge took liitle pieces from dozens of posts I made over the last year and put all that together into one statement, "Look at me, I'm a rock & roll, powerlifting party animal" LOL I never said that anywhere all in one post, never ever man. And you give me shit for trying to be helpful? wild - he/she who cares...they need some support not childish games kids!!!

If your body and brain want heroin... Who are you to say no?

In all seriousness, stay strong and stay clean, unless of course you enjoy being miserable?

Personally I've found pot to be the best thing to distract me from withdrawal symptoms of any sort.

yea I know what ur going thru chik I too have hit pretty much the bottom of a pit of nothingness due to Heroin/oxy/fentanyl IV abuse...for 4 yrs pretty much was fucked up at least once a week...I have stole, lied, done about everything you can think of to get dope...except whore myself out..which I would never do for any reason...but I am on 1 month sober...and also I got kicked off my methadone a couple months ago that i got through pain management so I am trying to straighten everything up I messed up..the hardest part is mentally..i still keep my needles n spoons around...but im not really tempted by it anymore..like ppl have said keep yourself busy...personally ive cleaned everything around the house like 4x and do laundry everyother day...pretty much anything I can think of..even cooking...which i am not a domesticated housewife so its pretty odd..but yea just do whatever you can...

and honestly...i hate being sober...getting high calmed my nerves alot..but my body has never felt better in a while..i dont physically crave and am not dopesick all the time like I was...i would never clean or ne thing unless I was high and now..thats all I do...

Although If I am around it I know ill fall off so I am trying to stay away from ppl who would be that influence..I wanna start working out too..

Good Luck Girl I hope you find strength..

let's go get high!!

thankyou gguys for all the real responses thankyou for the people who are mature enough not to bs. Support from naywhere, even the internet really aactually helps, and my heart goes out to ev eryone else on here whos struggling with the same shit as I am

on a random note
workingout is hot, so's rock and roll and shooint herion

You should have a couple people put you in a big tire and roll you down a hill.

in my opinion, don't be like O I IS CULD TURKEH cuz i don't think that's humane or fair.

it's all about moderation man.

USE, NOT ABUSE.

set yourself a schedule, like u can do h 3 times a month or something i don't know shit about H addiction.


JUST SAY KNOW.
http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/9443/justsayknowgd5.jpg

1 simple little acronym for you:

LSD

should fix anything... beyond that, mushrooms :D or ketamine.... mmmmmmmm and if nothing else, lots and lots of bud.. smoke till your lungs collapse.

Start playing World of Warcraft.

you jumped off a building but weren't trying to kill yourself? your fucking retarted

Get some acid/shrooms and find yourself

DYOu gotta stay busy somehow, find something else to fill that high.

This I found was very true in my case.

See, it's easy to change a routine - but not a lifestyle. If your lifestyle was centered around shooting coke/dope - then you gotta change than and fill it with something else. It's not easy, but you WILL find something else you love, that isn't ruining your life. Invest the time in that.

This guy found excercise - and that's what works for him.

Call me a fag, but I like to cook a shit load now. Anything. Doesn't matter. Just to keep the mind busy and off of that shit.

Try some NA meetings - they may be slightly hokey and touchy feely at first - but they do pass the time - and they do keep your mind off it.

HAHAHA I never bragged about anything. That kid Midge took liitle pieces from dozens of posts I made over the last year and put all that together into one statement, "Look at me, I'm a rock & roll, powerlifting party animal" LOL I never said that anywhere all in one post, never ever man. And you give me shit for trying to be helpful? wild - he/she who cares...they need some support not childish games kids!!!

STFU tool. "oh I need heroin because I bodybuild."

in my opinion, don't be like O I IS CULD TURKEH cuz i don't think that's humane or fair.

it's all about moderation man.

USE, NOT ABUSE.

set yourself a schedule, like u can do h 3 times a month or something i don't know shit about H addiction.


]It doesn't work like that.
Start playing World of Warcraft.

you will end up with a worse addiction than h. i loled

set yourself a schedule, like u can do h 3 times a month or something i don't know shit about H addiction.
exactly, so shut the fuck up

it's not easy to occupy your mind, but in the end its the only answer......unfortunately sitting around and thinking about it is too easy, especially during those moments when there is nothing to do.
I guess you can also try associating thru cognative thearpy (if you have that available to you of course), all the negative effects that were linked to the drug.

Writing things like this (your post), as trivial and silly as it may seem will help you gain some perspective too , maybe.

good luck whatever the outcome

it's not easy to occupy your mind, but in the end its the only answer......unfortunately sitting around and thinking about it is too easy, especially during those moments when there is nothing to do.
I guess you can also try associating thru cognative thearpy (if you have that available to you of course), all the negative effects that were linked to the drug.

Writing things like this (your post), as trivial and silly as it may seem will help you gain some perspective too , maybe.

good luck whatever the outcome
Sitting on a drug forum talking about h is going to make it harder also. Like commenting in Euphoria mornings H thread is going to make you crave more. GTFO the drug forums and your computer. Get out and do shit. That is what I do, I spend a great deal of time outdoors and doing outdoor type things. It really helps me.Only thing is, living in the arizona heat, I can't do much right now. Get a job that keeps you busy. i can be on here and talk about drugs now but when I first quit it only made me crave.

fuck yeah

exactly, so shut the fuck up

k so maybe one can't go back to moderation once one becomes addicted, i was just trying 2 help cuz that's how i would do it. i said it cuz i've done h, oxy, and stopped cigarette addictions, i don't have any problem moderating them. they're just another drug to me. apparently i'm wrong.

LOL!! hahaha no way man I've seen WOW destroy lives n peoples relationships..or i'll gain hella weight and turn into that guy from that south park episode.

Yeah you guys are absolutely right on the keeping busy stuff. I used to only come on BLTC when i was fiending really bad..same with going on erowid experience vaults.

Ilovechronic.wow I'm surprised, when you want to, you can actually give some coherent good advice..please dont take this offensivly the last thing i want is a bsfest in here.

The problem is tho what I have been doing for the past 7 months is excatly as you guys said, keep busy, get a life etc, except after I get all that stuff going and undercontrol, there's a new kinda ennui that comes up

can we really escape the sins of boredom

and, to me anyone who's tried to give me advice is dearly appreciated, the only retards are the people who come here dissing

this might sound retarded but playing an MMORPG game like Wow would be a decent substitute for another addiction,

i think MMORPG's are one of the most addicting things on the planet and youl be so bussy worrying about increasing your attack power and killing orcs so u can go on 80 man raids to think about anything non-virtual.

jesus christ i cant believe people are actually suggesting World of Warcraft...

k so maybe one can't go back to moderation once one becomes addicted

Can't = won't

This isn't your blog.

Psychedelics... especially acid. Drop acid a few times and then see if you still see the appeal of H or coke. Fuck it when I dropped acid I stopped wanting to even smoke pot just because I felt so "enlightened" or some shit...

Haha man, I've seen people with some serious addictions to WoW. They get fat, their health deteriorates, they're sleep deprived, and they become more antisocial. The shit is basically online heroin.

OP: Trip on some LSD. Any negativity you experience will be the last unaffected parts of your brain reminding you of how important it is for you to quit. Other than that, smoke copious amounts of weed and stick to occasional benzo use. Kratom is also useful in quitting opiates. Kratom played a massive part in quitting my ~200 mg/day oxy habit.

Ultimately though, you have to WANT to quit and you have to be strong enough to quit. Finding that strength is not impossible. Quitting is not impossible. Stay positive always.

Also, you said you've repaired your relationship with your parents. Don't be afraid to confide in them if you need extra support. I'm sure a physical touch and some kind words will go a bit farther than some advice from the internet.

Good luck. Life gets better after addiction. So much better.

Ibogaine.

Stolen from Wikipedia:
"In the early 1960s, ibogaine was accidentally discovered to cause sudden and complete interruption of heroin addiction without withdrawal in a matter of hours."

If you really want off that shit, it would be worth the trouble of finding a legit ibogaine therapist.

again with the wow comments..lol you bltc guys are so cute.
The first time I saw thru the bullshit with heroin and coke wasa actually when I dropped for the 1st time. I saw drugs such as e as "light stubstance" and dope and coke as "dark substances", and that inspired me to quit for about a few months, untill bad shit started happening and when it comes to pain killing theres nothing better than dope. Then when I tripped for the 1st time I did some epiphanies regarding life such as the beauty of all things and love is the point of life(please dont hate, people whos tripped will surely understand this)

And then as I startedn to trip more the trips became a lot less spiritual and more just about doing the drug and having fun with friends.
Ken kesey put it best at
"once you've walked thru the door, whats the point of walking back n forth?"
And e didnt help much either cuz I started to realize the best thing to cure being cracked out was some dope..

yeah it seems like dope was the solution to alot of my problems..
but this isnt my battle right now.

Anyone who's shot up coke will understand, and this is where I'm tripping on right now. The act of it and the taste and the immedaite rush..the alunimun train soto speak.
and hearing eric claptons song cocaine on tv didnt help either.

and regardng the advicfe o qutiting dope..well im not fiending for heroin i got that undercontrl with methadone. I've read some peoples experience on igobaine and it seems like for most it wasnt as effective as people say

If it is a big enough problem, you might want to try DMT. I have done it personally via Ayahuasca tea, trust me, you will feel like an 800 pound gorilla has been taken off your back.

Do acid
play WoW

and give me some heroin

I think the dope made you brain dead.

I think the dope made you brain dead.

are you stalking me now? nigger please
i have no interest in talking to me whatsoever so
so obsess over someone else you lameass fuck who never getsd laid

are you stalking me now? nigger please

I call 'em like I see them. Your utter bullshit is ridiculous and apparently everywhere in this forum. I would think you are insaneike's daughter or sister or mother judging by the way you type.

I LOL'd. You shouldn't take physically addictive drugs, dummy.

are you stalking me now? nigger please
i have no interest in talking to me whatsoever so
so obsess over someone else you lameass fuck who never getsd laid

You have already failed, ok let me put it to you like this..

You tried getting some respect by making it out like you are heaps awesome and crazy because you do drugs, but thats not how it works around here.

Just ask IWD, he came in with the whole disto attitude and got shot down cause there only really was one disto..

You have already failed, ok let me put it to you like this..

You tried getting some respect by making it out like you are heaps awesome and crazy because you do drugs, but thats not how it works around here.

Just ask IWD, he came in with the whole disto attitude and got shot down cause there only really was one disto..

Best thing I have read from you. The entire post is completely legitimate.

i dont really have a interest in broadcasting a certain image. i come here to share ideas/swap stories
thats why no matter how hard you try to insult me, it doent even sting cuz the last thing i care about on earth is you
you made this boring so really
moving on

I have a feeling this is a troll but if it's not....

If you don't want to be addicted and you're a strong person then you'll fight it, but if you feel like stealing, being homeless, and an all around pathetic low life just so you can get a high that really doesn't even make you happy anymore then you'll relapse.This pretty much sum's it up. If you enjoyed the life you led before you quit, more than the one you do now, you may as well just go back on it and stay on until you burn out and die. Look at the positives and negatives of each lifestyle, and if you find that the positives are more abundant as a junkie you may as well just stay one, cause there's no reason for you not to be.
Just think, is it all really worth it?

Actually scratch what I said and take these wise words of advice:
Eric Cartman: You should kill yourself, YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF!!

An spiritually intense acid trip I had made me give up opiates.

That's right, LSD-25 cured my addiction.

Yeah no shit, you type exactly like some inbred-cousinfuckin relative of insaneike. What the hell is that illegible mess of shit you call a post anyway. You have eyes and you have fingers mother fucker, learn to use a god damn keyboard you filthy junky!

There is a reason you are having these urges, they are natural, just give in.

Srsly you fuck head, why would you go to a pro-drug forum and post something as gay as this?

Stop being a pussy, and either man up and control your shit, or admit you can't and quit it.

Srsly you fuck head, why would you go to a pro-drug forum and post something as gay as this?


I come here to talk about several drugs I was addicted to. Doesn't make me crave, but I try to pass on the information I know.

I come here to talk about several drugs I was addicted to. Doesn't make me crave, but I try to pass on the information I know.

If you are craving dope, and you have made a concious decision to abstain, going to BLTC is not going to help you stay sober.

Why feed the beast?

lsd and other psychedelics FTW.

imo, IF you ever decide you can control yourself enough to enjoy drugs without losing enjoyment of life or anything else, DON'T SHOOT UP. i am not telling you to do the hard drugs again, and i can't quite explain (now that i think why) it, but you said "anyone who has shot up coke, you know what i mean". snorting them is good enough and if it makes you crave it more, don't do it, just forget about it and how it feels. buy a cheap quarter pound of weed 2.

I would think you are insaneike's daughter or sister or mother judging by the way you type.

lol...

fkn liek tihs yuom ena??

lol...

fkn liek tihs yuom ena??

/me slaps you around with a large trout then drinks a gallon of poppy pod tea while slapping 5 fent patches on balls.

Indulgence in the sweet kiss of the needle if thats what you really want.. Or dont. Youve gotta figure that out for yourself.