So you see totse, there's this girl...

Well, I've been talking to another Totsean about this, and he said it'd be best to post it here, so I'll go ahead and copy paste.

The situation is complicated, basically she started going out of her way to be nice to me which kind of climaxed when the two of us got locked in an empty classroom. She turned off the lights, closed the blinds and laid down next to me and we basically pour our hearts out to each other until we finally got let out. Circumstances led to me falling head over heels. But I have a lot of trouble reciprocating feelings correctly, so I kinda overwhelmed her and scared her off. She came back to me after a month of not speaking to each other, and tried to initiate conversation multiple times over the course of the week, and finally things patched up. I kinda drove her away again and other people got involved, so things got really icky. I'm guessing a lot of it had to with me trying to be someone who I wasn't in order to impress her.


I'm doing my best to try to learn how not to go about things, but I'm still confused as to why she's been so forgiving of me, much more so than she has of other guys.


You see, I've been kinda used to being picked on for a big chunk of my life, so it feels pretty damn good when someone who normally wouldn't speak to you begins giving you attention and making you feel loved. I kinda latched on to that, but it got to the point where I was pushing things into a direction she wasn't ready to go in.

I've apologized to her about that, but she sends me a lot of mixed messages. She has outright told me that she can't be with me because of how other people might treat me and didn't want anymore problems springing up, but at the same time she'll rush into defend me when other people say things and then admitted that "there's always drama" and shes wants to be a good friend when I asked her why she bothered to apologize after I pissed her off.

At one point I was explaining to her that I was feeling depressed about some issues at home, and then confessed my feelings about her. She got a little angry and told me that it would be best for both of us that I forget about her because she couldn't be with me due to current relationships. Next morning she called me and said that she was sorry and that she wanted to support me however she could, tensions grew after that and it came to the state we're in now.

So skip to Saturday, I was walking out of the movie theater when suddenly I hear this voice in my head say look to your left. And there, she was sitting there and looking up at me, I made eye contact with her for a brief second then smiled and went on my way. When I got home I had a text from her wishing me a happy birthday and asking me how things were going. Asked her if that was her at the movie theater, she said yes, and we had a short chat before she told me that she had been reading my old messages and decided to say happy birthday. Funny thing is, she ended things by saying she still wasn't talking to me followed by ;).

So Totse, should I just wait things out over the summer? Can you guys give me some help as to not screw things up?

I'll be honest I didn't read nearly half of it, I just skimmed over it

but just don't be clingy and needy, just let things work out ask her to see a movie or just go hang out at the mall, just things that friends would together and see where it goes from there

How do people hang out at the mall, really?

Also it's gotten to the point where she lost a lot of the trust she had in me, so I'm not sure how that would work out.

Eh, bump.

Dude, this chick sounds weird. Feel things out and analyze your relationship by passively trying to talk to her. Or you could just confront her and say "what the fuck?"

We've both got a lot of social problems, I've talked with her before about them, I don't really have any way of communication besides calling/texting until August. And I certainly don't want to bother her for the time being.

How do people hang out at the mall, really?

Also it's gotten to the point where she lost a lot of the trust she had in me, so I'm not sure how that would work out.

people watching, if you all have the same sense of humor grab some sodas and popcorn and laugh at people who walk by

Sounds like she just wants to be your friend. You scared her off by doing whatever it was you did. Since you didn't give details, I don't know how to analyze that. I don't know what you're asking us to look at here. What's the real problem? Are you asking how to get with her? I seriously doubt that'll work. The "i'm not talking to you + smiley face" sounds like she's just teasing and having fun. But it just sounds friendly.

You learned some shit not to do. Next time, don't do that shit. That's what learning is for. Find a new girl, and then don't repeat the same mistakes.

How do people hang out at the mall, really?

This.

I really don't get what some people find exciting about malls. It's just a covered market where you have to go when you need to buy something, and that you leave as soon as you can.