Alright here's the deal: I'm trying to change myself and all that fun (difficult) junk. The problem is I'm socially inept. I'm not going to say "pretty much" inept, I'm flat out socially retarded. I just really don't want to stay that way for much longer.

For the longest time I chose to be the loner type (or maybe I didn't and just convinced myself that it was my choice). It obviously hasn't helped me for shit in the long run either way, as I didn't develop these skills when I was supposed to.

So what I'm looking for I guess is a bunch of self help shit. Books that could help me out develop social skills effectively from the ground up, possibly your experiences, advice... that type of thing. Anything really.

I've started by getting a job washing dishes, which should give me a bit of social experience with my coworkers. Oh and I'm trying to make eye contact more. Yup.

PS: jack, I am aware that no matter how hard I try I can never stop being a ginger, so all my efforts are futile, but humor me here.

find someone who likes to do the same stuff or just likes the same stuff as you and talk about it and the conversation should guide itself and then go hang out...

pfft...chicks dig my copper-y red/brown hair. And it opens up a ton of great self-hating ginger jokes.

Just talk to people, you'll get better fast.

Smile. Say hello. I find this to be enough of a conversation starter with most people I run into at work, class, in an elevator, where ever.

If the conversation dies, and I [I say I because 7/10 people are not that outgoing and will not go the extra mile to keep talking] will just go ahead and say something stupid but funny -- even if its completely false [Like "I saw this old woman humping a dog outside I wish I got a picture"] -- and then see where it goes.

That's just me I guess, I'm naturally socially awkward so this is the only way I can get around it.

Highlighters can be a very good source of discussion. (yes I remember that, too bad for you)

Stories from your life can be a good conversation peice at times.

1. stop watching anime

2. join fight club

3. ???????

4. profit!

MDMA.

Lots and lots of MDMA will make you a social genius instead of a social retard.

Alcohol = NO NO

If you need more confidence you can read more, work out, or eat healthier. Trust me it works wonders. There are other ways to increase confidence though. Everyone is different.

The only way to gain social experience, is to put yourself in social situations.

No. It will make him jittery, I know; I've done MDMA and I used to be the exact same way. In fact, I spent a solid 2 years in isolation doing nothing but studying. I know what it's like to be paranoid and concerned all the time, worried and basically afraid. Afraid of rejection, blah blah everything. You've gotta let all that shit go. Exercise is a great way to start building up your confidence as has been said, you don't just wanna go off tomorrow night and get smashed and expect to get laid. You've gotta improve your state of mind and get it healthy before moving to that step. During which time I recommend you eat healthy, exercise and get out and force yourself to socialize a bit more. There's no drug or any substance that will just erase what you've got; I know. As I said, I used to be exactly like you to a T. It's about improving yourself physically, which actually does a lot like releases more oxygen to your brain allowing you to be more lax, then you'll find it's a lot easier to just let go, not care and socialize and have fun.

No. It will make him jittery, I know; I've done MDMA and I used to be the exact same way.

Weird, when I've done it it just makes me super sociable and confident and really really chatty and so easy to make convo's flow with complete strangers.

look at people in the eyes and smile once. Then stop smiling (you dont want to be the creepy peron who keeps smiling for no reason). Then as the conversation progresses, smile as frequently as reasonably can be done, such as when the other person says something remotely funny.

Also, to keep conversations going, all you have to do is keep asking (relevant) question. Example, the other person said, "I am so tired" to this you can ask maybe "how many hours of sleep did you get that night", or "really? what time did you wake up this morning?" Things like that. It takes practice to know exactly what kind of things are appropriate/not weird to ask. Basically nothing too too personal and rather neutral is the rule of thumb.

Good luck lil buddy.

Weird, when I've done it it just makes me super sociable and confident and really really chatty and so easy to make convo's flow with complete strangers.



It just depends on the person though, and I had bad anxiety, which HTS-Noob seems to have. And probably mainly because of drugs, a lack of exercise and probably not the healthiest diet. All those things together destroys a persons mental health pretty quickly (especially since noob did a lot of DXM, that's not exactly good for your brain). Of course MDMA will make the average person really chatty and shit, it does me now but it definitly didn't back then, I kept wanting to move and I just felt weird as fuck :p.

That and if your by yourself you can watch other people and how they interact....can learn a lot from a spectators point