Okay, as we all know, there is a dizzying array of things certain types of men and women find attractive, particularly in regard to personality and social status. However, no matter what socioeconomic group, race, religion, creed, etc. someone belongs to it seems there is one trait everyone finds attractive.

That is, they want a potential partner to be demonstratively attractive to others in a romantic way. In short, people always love to feel that their partner has options, and is thus showing discrimination through being with themselves, and not going out with any of those others.

I also thought of what might happen if a person who had no romantic options managed to go out with someone with many options. It seems the person with no options would be essentially "powerless" in the relationship. If their partner left them today, they would have literally nowhere else to turn to. This seems to be an extremely unattractive trait, at the very least it is subconsciously unattractive. I bring this up as I am almost certain this happened to me once when I was younger, and it was much more difficult to get over the relationship because of my complete lack of other romantic companionship at the time. A friend of mine and I discussed this and he agreed it is vitally important, and he often likes to keep low-key dominance in a relationship by subtly reminding his girl she could be replaced at a moment's notice.

I would just like to know your thoughts on this matter Totse, and comment on whether you have ever consciously thought about this before asking someone out or evaluating their or your own dating potential.

i like insecure women that i can boss around.
some insecure ppl are hot.

My ex
well
he was 16 when we first went out
and I was his first kiss and his first girlfriend

and I never understood why cos he had a lot of friends and wasn't bad looking

and I always kind of felt better than him because of it

because no other girls seemed to want him it definitely made him less attractive..

Shit dude thats common knowledge.

Regardless of what/who something is, if a lot of people want it, you're going to want it, or at least be attracted to it out of curiosity. Likewise if a lot of people don't want a certain thing you're going to be less inclined to go get it.

Just look at trends, most of the trends that go around are basically meaningless, but everyone goes after them simply because everyone else wants it.

This. I love it when other girls check me out with my girlfriend.

Makes me feel like a fuckin' champ.

and then she does everything in her power for me to stay. including buttsecks

Even if a girl wants me, or attempts something on me, I ignore her and put her in her place if she persists. But I don't see the need to tell my SO if I've truly done nothing wrong (it seems like bragging). I want to give my girl peace of mind. I'm hers and that's all there is to it.

So if by me making it appear that I'm unwanted I'm actually making my self unattractive to her, then fuck 'em all.

There's like 3.3 billion other women out there...

But yeah it definitely plays a role when it comes to power struggles. You can't really try and come out on top when you have no alternative.

Lastly if a guy wants my girl, and she doesn't crush his little soul right away, I'll reevaluate why I'm with her, then take a few steps back and start looking around for a back up. Fuck I hate people who always want bigger/better shit than the person next to them. That's all it is. Wanting to own something that others desire.

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You're not making yourself unattractive by not telling her these things, if you went up and said "The past week no other girl has looked at me in even the slightest sexual way" than you would seem kinda weird by saying that, but also it would make you seem a little less attractive.

Also the fact that other guys do hit on her, regardless of her response, is the point. Would you feel differently to a girl that got hit on versus a girl that never got hit on?


The motivation that we're talking about all comes down to people wanting to associate themselves with things that they deem cool/sexy. Not everyone bases what they deem to be cool/sexy off of what other people say but the reality is that 90% of people do and that's why this topic exists.

There's like 3.3 billion other women out there...

Yeah, but something like half of those women are under 18. You sick freak.

So what that means is that if you decide to get one particular girl, your best strategy would be to actually be chatting up dozens of others.

Correction: your best strategy would be to have dozens of other girls chat you up/flirt with you, all of whom you ignore whilst chatting up the one you fancy.

Correction: your best strategy would be to have dozens of other girls chat you up/flirt with you, all of whom you ignore whilst chatting up the one you fancy.

No no, you got it all wrong. If they're chatting you up already, then you can go straight for the kill since you're already considered attractive. And because you're probably not right now, you gotta start chatting up a dozen girls at the same time, build up your social attractiveness, and then your target would either do all the job herself, or she'll be all over you already by the time you approach her.

No no, you got it all wrong. If they're chatting you up already, then you can go straight for the kill since you're already considered attractive. And because you're probably not right now, you gotta start chatting up a dozen girls at the same time, build up your social attractiveness, and then your target would either do all the job herself, or she'll be all over you already by the time you approach her.

NO WONDER I'M ALONE.

NO WONDER I'M ALONE.

Haha, don't worry mate, I'm pretty damn alone too.

supply demand.

grass is always greener on the other side.

because no other girls seemed to want him it definitely made him less attractive..

I hate girls.

Yeah, but something like half of those women are under 18. You sick freak.

So for arguments sake, saying I can go as low as 17 and as high as 25, there'd still be like 300+ million women.

So... what can you bring to this thread now except faggotry?

Nothing.

So for arguments sake, saying I can go as low as 17 and as high as 25, there'd still be like 300+ million women.

So... what can you bring to this thread now except faggotry?

Nothing.

Most of them are black/chinese.

He doesn't care if I get hit on, has nothing to do with how he feels about me. But when he gets hit on? Makes me a little mad, if he flirts back, I get jealous. If it goes further than that, I feel compelled to kick someone's ass.

I guess when it comes down to it, jealousy is not a good feeling. I'd rather be with someone who I would not have to feel jealous over.

maybe your haggis was better than those other girls'

I guess when it comes down to it, jealousy is not a good feeling. I'd rather be with someone who I would not have to feel jealous over.

Yet you stay with him? This is what I'll never understand about women. They choose to stay in these kinds of situations.

Most of them are black/chinese.

I laughed. Hard. Good job!

Right. So because he never had a girlfriend before you, he's less attractive?
Did he ever tell you straight up, "I've never kissed a girl before you. I mean, I've tried multiple times to ask girls out, but they reject me every time."

Did you ever think that maybe the reason he never had a girlfriend was because he CHOSE not to? Maybe he found all other girls unattractive, and you were the first who appealed to him.

I never kissed a girl until I was 17. I never had a girlfriend until I was almost 19. It wasn't because I couldn't have a girlfriend. As a matter of fact, I've had to beat girls off me with a stick (figure of speech, that) the last four years of my life. I'm 20 now, nearing 21, and I still have only ever been in two relationships.

Unless he told you straight up that he tried to get a girlfriend and failed, you shouldn't assume stuff like that. Rather, you should have been impressed that he wasn't tainted with other girls before you.

I'm not going to lie here: You're cute, but I find assuming things rather unattractive. Especially when the assumption clouds your judgement of a person.
Fuck you. He deserved better.

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Wait...so are we saying only women rely on this condition, or do men do it as well?

I would like to say that I'm not one to lean on conventional female attitudes like that, but both the relationships I've been in have been with guys that have received a fair amount of attention from other chics.

I have been screwed over by chics that suddenly decide to like whatever "loser" I have had my eye on at the time, and it's never made much sense to me.

It makes women seem conniving, shrewd and downright evil