For the past year, which is the complete run I've had with my ex, I've lived by the philosophy "He don't mean to be mean or hurt you on purpose, Take a tip and do yourself a little service. Take a mountain turn it into a mole just by playing a different role". I became fond of this saying when we broke up, about 8 months ago.

Basically, if he is cold to me, or if he hurts me, turn it around and fuck him over. But this doesn't work anymore. I can't suppress my feelings for him and act like I don't love him, or need him because then I am hurting myself. I can't truthfully play his role, of hurting me and taking me for something simple, that isn't how I feel.

But I feel that I can't show him how much I love him because he hurts me very badly, I am vulnerable with him and he takes me for granted. I have a bad feeling that by showing my vulnerable side to him, he will only take advantage of it and hurt me worse. Instead of trying to win him over, I push him away and reply with sarcasm and false strength when he brings up a problem. But I only fool myself when I know that the feelings I have for him are stronger than any strength I build up to fend him off.

"For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder. "

I am the fool who makes my world colder when things get heavy. I try to numb myself to the hurt by thinking about how insignificant he is, but he is the most significant thing in my life anymore. I can't keep numbing myself to the feelings I have for him. I can't predict the future and I can't find out if completely opening up and loving him with everything I have will turn out for the better, or if I will just end up more hurt than I would've been if I'd just made my world a little colder.

I don't know if I am asking anything, just helps to get that out to people who could potentially understand.

Welcome to Love ave.

It's a one-way street.

Over the years I've learned that it's important not to meddle in other people's love life. They will get hurt, but it's important that they learn these lessons.

What you're experiencing is very common. The less something wants you, the more you want it.

I can't really offer any advice. Obviously you should let him go and move on, but if you still love him, that's not a choice. You won't get him back, so just realize that right now. All you can do now is go home and cry about it. And sometimes that's what it takes. After a week or so of that, you'll start to feel better.

Sometimes he'll say that he wants me, wants to get back together. And that's why I keep pursuing him and putting myself through the hurt because the way he says it makes it look like there's somethin' amazing at the end of the tunnel. I don't see him trying to get back together though, I do feel very unwanted and unloved. He says he loves me, I don't feel it. But I want to believe that he does want a relationship.

I mean, somewhere, I know he loves me. I wouldn't deal with it if I didn't think he didn't love me, or didn't really want to start dating. I just don't feel it right now, we've spent a lot of time apart.

It ain't fair to string someone along like this. Not fair at all.

There ain't nothing fair about love. People use the most dirty and underhanded tactics to get things their way.

Ignore him. He's not trying to get back together for any reason other than loneliness and sex.

With time it will stop hurting. Believe me, as much as you think you can't survive without him now, a week without contact with him and you will wonder why you even bothered to talk to the douchebag in the first place.

I met a cute girl at the bank today but I was an idiot Hopefully when I cash my check next week she'll be there.

Wrote him an email, only way I could contact him since I told him not to call.

Said:
"Can't get a hold of you and I feel bad about the other day. I just wanted to let you know that I say I hate you because I gotta be tough when it comes to you, ya know? Ya fucked me over once because I let you see how vulnerable I was and I don't want that to happen again. I do love you, more than I will let you know, for my own good. Sucks that you take the little bit of love I do show you for granted, but what can I say? I know this is gettin long, and I know shit's tough, you don't have time and I'm grounded. But good news is, I'm ungrounded next Friday, hopefully things will get easier from there.

Anyway, hope you're doin well, probably working tonight, huh? Call me if you're still up for it but atleast let me know somehow if you aren't."


blah fuck.

If you're meant to see her again, you will!

Wow you're easy.

I love how, as an asshole male (the drunk kind, no less) when I tell girls that a guy is completely out for sex and will fuck you over in a second to get laid, doesn't care about you, and will use you, EVERY SINGLE GIRL goes back to the guy.

I'd understand if I was your father and you were rebelling, but when someone in his shoes says "yeah, that's classic behaviour we use to get stupid girls in the sack" you should believe it 100%, because he's just using you.

I know I can't stop the female brain from misfiring, but FFS, sleep on it. Do you really think he likes you at all?

Meh, bitches be everywhere.

Define easy. I would just like the most I can get out of our relationship.

I do...Maybe. Stop making me second guess myself

Perhaps I've got it right this time:

It is neither in my best interest to give him all of my love and see what happens, or withhold a lot of love and hope I can string him along instead of him leading me on.

What is best, probably, is to stop talking to him altogether. Not in hopes of having him run back to me, but in hopes to look for someone else and have fun like I did before he came into my life again.

I am a lot less sad than I was earlier when I wrote this, hope I can maintain this mindset for a while. But what to do about the already sent message.