I have never had an orgasm.
It's pretty annoying.
I don't ever get close when masturbating.
I've been almost there a few times from being fingered/eaten out.
My current boyfriend has spent forever trying to please me.
Not being able to get me to come is starting to really frustrate both of us.

Any tips and/or ideas?

You can't from masturbating? That's a bad sign. Most the time, people only can by themselves.

Are you completely comfortable with sex? Did you ever have a terrible experience/were you brought up being told it's evil?

Do you use a vibrator?

Well we should meet up becauswe I had a very weird expereince where I could not lose an erection and managed to give my girlfriend multiple orgasms over 25 minutes or somewhere in there.

Not even close to coming from masturbating.
It feels really good and all, but just leaves me frustrated by the end.

And I love sex.
So I don't think that's the issue.

And I don't have a vibrator.

Actually, you're only 71 minutes away from multiple orgasms. (http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&hl=en&geocode=&saddr=Guelph,+ON,+Canada&daddr=Toronto,+ON,+Canada&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=60.116586,108.984375&ie=UTF8&z=9)

[note: I may be tooting my own horn...a little...]

More like 115 minutes away. (http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&hl=en&geocode=&saddr=midland,+ON,+Canada&daddr=Toronto,+ON,+Canada&sll=43.558605,-79.819615&sspn=0.879742,1.702881&ie=UTF8&z=8)
I moved for the summer.

More like 115 minutes away. (http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&hl=en&geocode=&saddr=Guelph,+ON,+Canada&daddr=Toronto,+ON,+Canada&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=60.116586,108.984375&ie=UTF8&z=9)
I moved for the summer.

I'll forgive you because you're a woman, and I understand machines aren't second nature to you :P

There's a "link to this page" button that you must press if you want to link a google map.

How is Guelph by the way? I've heard mixed reviews from the kids who go out west for uni.

I'll forgive you because you're a woman, and I understand machines aren't second nature to you :P

There's a "link to this page" button that you must press if you want to link a google map.

How is Guelph by the way? I've heard mixed reviews from the kids who go out west for uni.

Eff my life.
And I love Guelph.
It's so much fun.

Just make sure it's lubricated before you start somehow if you're on your own... using spit or something if you don't have lube iuno
and concentrate on the feeling rather than what you/the other person is doing

It always helps if you're a bit drunk too
heightened sex drive and all that

Wooo, let's all have a BBBQ at Wasaga!!!

Just make sure it's lubricated before you start somehow if you're on your own... using like water or something if you don't have lube iuno
and concentrate on the feeling rather than what you/the other person is doing

It always helps if you're a bit drunk too
heightened sex drive and all that

This is absolutely the shittiest advice I've ever seen given on any subject. Ever.

The first paragraph is completely unintelligible, but I think she's trying to say use lube. And then goes on to say "use water", which is retarded, because, and I quote "the inability to dissolve additional abrasive debris allows abrasive particles to scrape against or become lodged in the working surfaces, thus introducing a margin for physical contact between them." Therefore, water doesn't work. Spit does.

The alcohol reference is piss-poor advice. Take it from me. Take it from Sue Johanson. Take it from whoever you want. Alcohol does often act as an aphrodisiac, but is absolutely terrible since it decreases performance, sensitivity, and slows down electricity throughout your body. Hence, whiskey dick, or in women, whiskey vagina (I just coined a term).

Piegirl, lay off the hooch.

Egads!

How does someone give suggestions if they do not know the methods that don't work for you?

The list is just too long. Let me try questions.

What doesn't work?

Maybe, don't try so hard?

How aroused are you before you even start trying? Whether by yourself, or with another? It's best to begin in your mind if you're alone.

I'll try to expand on sex alone:

Allow your mind to go where it will, but don't touch yourself. Just let it flow. Think of your body and how it feels to be touched, how you would like to be touched. Travel in your mind and explore it that way. You will find yourself becoming much more in touch with yourself. Imagine whatever you will, and build the tension within. Use your wildest fantasies if you like. Once you begin to feel yourself getting moist then start to explore your body. Your breasts, your tummy... (Even imagine your hand is not your own, if that works best for you.) Tighten and release your vagina. Tighten it as hard as you can and hold it. Then...relax.

Make love to yourself...and take your time with it. Once you can find that with yourself, then you can find it with your other lover as well. Do not be afraid to tell him what to do, and don't be afraid to take control. (Just don't hurt his ego.)

Well...I could probably go on and on...

It sounds cheesy when I read it, but it's how I learned to have better sex, and better orgasms too.

Oh...and pay attention to your breathing. You can control a lot with breathing.

Try finding the 'g spot'?

I mean if you feel SOMETHING, it means that you've got some nerves firing away down there.

You owe it to yourself to try your luck with a more experienced lover.

Such as yourself? :P

No. You owe it to yourself to be with someone you love passionately. Someone who, just the thought of them gets you going.

It's in the mind, I tells ya.

I think he means me. But just to be safe, we'll wait till he's back to see what he really meant.

This is absolutely the shittiest advice I've ever seen given on any subject. Ever.

The first paragraph is completely unintelligible, but I think she's trying to say use lube. And then goes on to say "use water", which is retarded, because, and I quote "the inability to dissolve additional abrasive debris allows abrasive particles to scrape against or become lodged in the working surfaces, thus introducing a margin for physical contact between them." Therefore, water doesn't work. Spit does.

The alcohol reference is piss-poor advice. Take it from me. Take it from Sue Johanson. Take it from whoever you want. Alcohol does often act as an aphrodisiac, but is absolutely terrible since it decreases performance, sensitivity, and slows down electricity throughout your body. Hence, whiskey dick, or in women, whiskey vagina (I just coined a term).

Piegirl, lay off the hooch.


Ha. I meant spit, I was looking at a bottle of water when I typed it and it came out wrong :l
hah
don't masturbate with water.

Can't realllyy defend myself against the alcohol thing, I'm just saying that it makes wimmins moar horny. I never said get wasted to the point of being numb.

I think he means me. But just to be safe, we'll wait till he's back to see what he really meant.

Clearly. Who better to show her the ropes of her own body. Toast, you simply need a better fuck. Some women go their whole lives and never achieve any orgasm whatsoever, let alone the mind numbing, full body, soul consuming touch that only the truly gifted can impart.

Do you really want to end up married at age 30, with no sex drive left because you never get anything out of it? And of course, with the absence of sex comes the absence of affection and thus love, and you husband will end up having an affair with his secretary while the home life suffers even more to the point where you don't even sleep in the same room anymore.

Lets face it, the inability to orgasm is a very serious problem that seeps into all aspects of your life. If you were sick, you'd go to a doctor wouldn't you?

Who better to show her the ropes of her own body.

Herself.

Such as yourself? :P

No. You owe it to yourself to be with someone you love passionately. Someone who, just the thought of them gets you going.

It's in the mind, I tells ya.

While what you said was short.
IT is true.

I think the problem is youre not "trying" to orgasm. You might not be into it as much as you think you are.
If you feel your current boyfriend isnt doing it for you. I wouldnt nessisarily say find another one (unless you dont like him), but try to communicate to him what feels good an what feels great.


Ps. This may or may not have anything to do with your problem, but it part of my theory.
Supposedly women don't reach their sexual people till their mid thirties an 40's....maybe psychologically you aren't ready to orgasm. Since problems in the mind do not have specific solutions..my theory stands as fact.
It's not said as much in this area of Totse..But foreplay may be the key.

This is said all the time on Totse..But maybe you could be orgasmed by me.

Herself.

Apparently not.

Apparently not.

That's why she's asking for help.

My first orgasm took me completely by surprise, and he was a virgin too. Who knows why that first time can be so elusive. It doesn't require experience, just a willingness to explore.

I've made my girl orgasm once, I wasn't really aiming for anything, we were just having fun. I hit a spot, notice that she liked it and then just kept at it.

Er... I don't know. Advice for you? Buy yourself a vibrator?

Drop $80 on rabbit vibrator.

You won't regret it, I promise.


Try each position for 5-10 minutes (missionary, doggy style, spooning, or whatever) and see which is the best for you.

and don't foucs on orgasming too much.

Apparently not.

You tell her bro.

How relaxed are you during sex?
You need to be totally relaxed and comfortable, (emotionally and physically) and literally not have cold feet.

You need to be turned on (Read: wet), the actual physical pleasuring depends on what you like, touching, cunnilingus, penetration, deep kissing.
Don't hold back during sex just let yourself go.

There was an article in playboy a while back, from this girl who could never manage to orgasm. And she said weed helped relax her enough to let it happen. Go figure.

Weed is my nickname. She was talking about me.

Although it's true that the entire body is in some way involved during climax, the key sensual receptor will always be the clitoris. Without engaging the "clit" directly or indirectly, there can be no prospect of orgasm. It seems difficult, particularly for men to understand that something as diminutive as the clit could be so vitally important. How could this tiny, almost external appendage be infinitely more sensitive than the vagina itself?

Intuition would make you believe that the lining or walls of the vagina are somehow more akin to the tip penis. Following that logic these two matching surfaces would engage one another during intercourse... resulting in ultimate mutual pleasure, physically and emotionally. Yet for some reason mother nature has played a trick. During intercourse primarily the emotional element comes into play, as the female creates a physical union with male.

There is a simple but not necessarily well known explanation for this circumstance. Unlike the glands of the penis, the vagina has relatively few sensual receptors. Ironically, the deeper the penetration, the fewer the receptors. The relatively few nerve receptors which do exist in the vagina are actually located to the upper third; which in many women may be only marginally sensitive at best.

For a woman to achieve climax the clit must be stimulated in some fashion. This can be accomplished in two ways, directly or indirectly. With the indirect method the males pubic bone may push up against the clit while thrusting during intercourse. Or the penis may rub against the vulva, which because of its proximity to the clit, may result in indirect stimulation. Considering these circumstances it should be evident that indirect stimulation of the clit is not very efficient. It's actually a testimonial to the clit's remarkable sensitivity that indirect stimulation is even sufficient to produce climax for about 30 - 40% of women. Depending on the result of any particular survey.

By most accounts the clit is the counterpart of the tip or "glans" of the penis, with three primary differences: a) the urethra does not pass though the clit. b) it's smaller in size. 3) it's significantly more sensitive due to the greater number of nerve receptors (per square inch) than those found on the glans of the penis.

In this case it should be fair to assume that it's not possible for the majority of women to reach climax solely as a result of intercourse in the missionary position (face to face).

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/FemaleOrgasm.htm

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/FemaleOrgasm.htm

We get so many questions about orgasm, I will try to provide some information about the BIG O.

An orgasm is described as a level of sexual arousal that reaches a peak then subsides leaving the participant feeling elated, relaxed and sexually satisfied. It is difficult to describe an orgasm because it is different for every female. Women generally describe it as a feeling of being so aroused that you are going to explode.

Muscles in your body may go into contraction, your hands tighten up, you may arch your back, your facial expression is intense, your breathing pattern changes to short gasps, your legs tremble, your toes curl under. You may make groaning noises, whimper, some women cry out. Because the sensations are so intense and so different for each woman, it like trying to describe a sneeze.

Are all women capable or reaching orgasm? Yes, unless there is some rare congenital abnormality or extensive genital surgery where nerves have been cut. Some women who have had a stroke can still reach orgasm. Women who are Spinal Cord injured and are paraplegic or quadraplegic will probably not have a genital orgasm but can reach orgasm by stimulating other areas of their bodies. Some women who have severe diabetes may not reach orgasm because of nerve degeneration.

Some women have lovely small ripple orgasms, others have massive orgasms. There are women who have one orgasm after the other as long as the stimulation continues; for others, one is quite enough for them. There is no normal, all are unique. A few women may have singleton orgasms with one partner and multiple orgasms with another partner. Some women experience a headache after orgasm; some start to cry and some start to laugh; this is simply a release of pent-up sexual tension. These reactions quickly pass and you bathe in the afterglow. Be honest about it. Every once in a while, you will have a cataclysmic orgasm. He will know it – he'll have the bruises to show for it. There are no rules when it comes to orgasms.

It is a myth that a female should have an orgasm every time she has sex. There are times when it just will not happen, if she feels fat or ugly, afraid that she might get pregnant or a disease, she may be tired, stressed, angry at her partner, preoccupied with family or finances etc. She may be uncomfortable, even in pain.

There will be times when all systems are GO and she does not have an orgasm. The sex was good, she is fine, satisfied, happy and contented. She was very aroused then just slid over the top and into the "refractory period" but she is still purring.

Here is where your partner enters the scene. Do not ask "DIDJA COME?" This puts pressure on her to have an orgasm to convince you that you are a good lover and capable of satisfying her. She may be tempted to fake orgasm just to have you believe that you are that good. Faking orgasm is destructive to a relationship that is based on honesty and trust. If your partner is dishonest, the trust level is shattered and that can be very damaging to a relationship.

Ladies, be honest, "No, I didn't have an orgasm but you are great, I feel wonderful, WOW, you are da man." Guys, accept that.

HOW TO HAVE AN ORGASM for FEMALES

Most women reach their first orgasm all by themselves. Few things you have to do before you begin. First, you have to:

* 1. Become comfortable with your own body.
* 2. Look at the messages you got as a kid about "self pleasuring"(masturbation). Bad, dirty, dangerous?
* 3. Give yourself permission to fantasize about sex. Read a sexy novel, romance pocket book, allow yourself to get turned on. You can't masturbate without fantasy. Read our web site on female masturbation.
* 4. Give yourself permission to stimulate yourself, Learn what pleasures you, all by yourself.
* 5. Share that information with your partner, guide your partner so he can make the moves that are pleasurable for you.

There are a few basics you need to know. For most females, penis size is not important. Bigger is not better. Most women do not reach orgasm with sexual intercourse. Most women reach orgasm by clitoral stimulation, either manual, oral-genital contact or a vibrator.

Here are a few great books that will be helpful: 'The Big Book of Masturbation' from Down There Press; 'The Good Orgasm Guide' by Kate Taylor; 'Self Love and Orgasm' and 'Sex For One', both by Betty Dobson; 'Turn Ons, Pleasing Yourself While You Please Your Lover' by Dr. Lonnie Barbach; 'Orgasms' by Tara Barker; 'For Yourself' by Dr. Lonnie Barbach; 'Understanding the G-spot' by Donald Hicks; and 'Great Sex' by Anne Hooper.



http://www.talksexwithsue.com/femaleorgasm.html

http://www.talksexwithsue.com/femaleorgasm.html

my school had a pubnite with sue.

It was epic lulz.

I have never had an orgasm... I don't ever get close when masturbating.

You should post vids of your technique so we can give you pointers.

Perhaps you don't need to be fucked.............

Ask any guy you think is up to the task of performing cunnigilus on your vagina.

In fact.. Hire A Sex Pro.

You should post vids of your technique so we can give you pointers.

You must!

Really? I find it sooooo damn hard to get my rocks off when I'm drunk. Maybe girls are different.

ok - from a girl

(and yes, it's somewhat mortifying to tell the internet how i masturbate - thank god for screen names)

1. have you tried to masturbate in the shower/bath? strong stream of water on the clit.

2. vibrator. i just have one for my clit, nothing goes inside... get one. seriously.

3. if you're having sex, go on top. perhaps incorporate the vibrator, i do this with my boyfriend. basically just put it on your clit and just ride him, it'll stay in place.

orgasmic dysfuntion

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001953.htm

1 minute of google research attained more results than all of these peoples attempts to resolve there issue based on their own knowledge.

sometimes its better to look extrinsically for guidance and i mean to all posters exept the OP.

Oc6 is absolutely right.

The female orgasm is almost 90% a mental thing and actually has very little to do with stimulating the clit.

You think I jest?

I've known girls who can come just by holding their breath. Other who come from anal or having their nipples teased.

I've even known one who couldn't go to the hairdressers because someone combing her hair just DID it for her.

When you next read something or see something that arouses you then just 'follow' it. See how far you can go towards orgasm. ABSOLUTELY NO TOUCHING ALLOWED, just thinking/dreaming.

killthe whiteman, if you read what was written in your link then you would see OD is basically what a lot of people have been saying. Either drugs/other medical condition OR (and this seems most likely) simply 'emotional' (ie MENTAL)>

I think the orgasm of both sexes is mostly mental. When I first started having sex, I used to think about things that are completely not sexual at all just to last longer in bed. Another example is when you masturbate. When you do this, you are set on a certain image you are either looking at or thinking about in your head. All it takes is a single thought of, lets say, your mother, and you lose everything. Depending on how disgusted you are about what just popped in your head, you either have to start at the very beginning trying very hard not to get that thought again or you just give up and call it a night.

Agreed.

Dudette go see a doctor..

The love doctor...

The love doctor...

I'm going to be out until next week. But go ahead and call me when I get back.

drive down to colorado and i really will give you an amazing SET of orgasms :)
seriously though its just cause youre the only girl on totse that doesnt piss me off
feel loved

http://www.gineco.com.br/images/clitoris.jpg

Right. Fucking. There.

http://www.gineco.com.br/images/clitoris.jpg

Right. Fucking. There.

Lollapalooza

SHUT UP!