So the other night I had sex with my girlfriend. Usually after some foreplay, my dick slides smoothly into her and her vagina feels uniformly tight with respect to depth. That night I made her orgasm through foreplay; I usually don't foreplay for long enough to make her have an orgasm. So anyway, after she came, I started to have sex with her (Missionary position if it matters), and even though she was more than wet enough, it felt like there was some sort of tight ring of muscles 2-3 inches into her vagina that was squeezing me, it felt almost like a thumb and pointer finger wrapped around my dick fairly tightly.

Anyway, the result was that the sex was apparently incredible for her (she had 6 orgasms after I penetrated her plus the one from me eating her out) but mediocre for me (A possible reason why she had 6 orgasms is the fact that it didn't feel especially good for me, so I lasted longer).

Anyway, my question is: WTF was that tight ring of muscles and is it normal for a girl's vagina to tighten up and stay that way after she cums without being penetrated? Most importantly, would she have any conscious control over that tightness?

If she has no control over it I don't want to bring it up with her, it would just make her feel bad and make sex less good for her next time it happens because she would know that I'm not enjoying it nearly as much as she is. And also, my dick was really sore the next day; if we had the opportunity to have sex the day after I wouldn't have been able to do it without pain.

So she was tighter than usual? I don't see what the problem is.

Personally, I know that after I've been made to cum my vagina clenches up for a while afterwards, although I've never had this 'ring of muscle' you're talking about; it's usually uniform, so I can't really offer you any advice on that front. Maybe it was a freak thing? Try it again and see what happens before you decided if it's going to be a problem or not.

I wouldn't have any problem with her being tighter than usual, it's just that she was tight in one particular spot that made sex less good for me. I would have asked her, but I couldn't figure out how to ask it without offending her.

I'll try it again and see what happens.

and even though she was more than wet enough, it felt like there was some sort of tight ring of muscles 2-3 inches into her vagina...

Depending on positioning, that's well within vulvar depth. Seriously. At some angles, it's deep enough you could get satisfaction without actually going in.

that was squeezing me, it felt almost like a thumb and pointer finger wrapped around my dick fairly tightly.

Awww... poor baby!

I would have asked her, but I couldn't figure out how to ask it without offending her.

I hate to inform you, but the fact that age is just a number, and "old enough to crawl" really does put them in the right position... actually doesn't change the fact that if one of you is too embarrased/offended/whatever to talk about your sex life....

...then at least one of you is not mature enough to be having a sex life. Sorry. Just the way it is.

I hate to inform you, but the fact that age is just a number, and "old enough to crawl" really does put them in the right position... actually doesn't change the fact that if one of you is too embarrased/offended/whatever to talk about your sex life....

...then at least one of you is not mature enough to be having a sex life. Sorry. Just the way it is.[/QUOTE]

Oh please. I'm not afraid to talk about sex with my girlfriend, I posted here first so I could get some useful responses (Protip: Your response wasn't useful) before telling her that the only reason the sex was incredibly good for her was because it was borderline painful for me.

There's a difference between being tactful and sensitive to others' feelings, and being immature and awkward. I can understand why he wouldn't want to offend her by mentioning it.

I posted here first so I could get some useful responses (Protip: Your response wasn't useful)

You're right. It has nothing to do with constriction of muscle at the vaginal opening, despite being pretty much indicated by depth, unless you spread before measuring.

Instead, it was the razor-sharp teeth that all girls have in their girly bits. You were lucky to make it out intact. Be more careful next time.

Oh please. I'm not afraid to talk about sex with my girlfriend

Except, I presume, for that part where you note that you would've talked about sex with your girlfriend, except you were afraid of a negative reaction?

Your response pretty much removes all doubt as to where in the relationship the maturity issues are located.

Your response pretty much removes all doubt as to where in the relationship the maturity issues are located.

You're comin down a little hard on the guy... he just doesn't want to mention the fact that pleasure for her meant some pain for him.. he may not want to risk anything; now before you say that means one party is immature just realize not all couples talk openly and freely about their sex life. everything is relative and what's normal for what you've had doesn't mean everyone has to have the same type of communication with their lover..

Edit: although I will note that a girl I dated in high school talked pretty openly to me about the couple of times I was too retardedly drunk to get it up... or too fucked up on opiates to stay awake.. or too skeezed out for the little guy to even be present LOL (only happened once, very infuriating and I still have negative associations with coke because of that).... I don't really do that many substances anymore for the record..

what's normal for what you've had doesn't mean everyone has to have the same type of communication with their lover..

My god, I think I just died inside a little.

I'll come back within a few days and reply to the rest.... I actually had a reply for just such a post, but then I read that, and... through no fault of your own, it just so happens... my head asploded. bbiab.

Ahh. Temporary stability again. Sorry. Not your fault...

You're comin down a little hard on the guy...

Well, I'll adress that in the next bit here.

not all couples talk openly and freely about their sex life.

I'm aware of that. This is why I tend to try to gently goad them into actually communicating with their partner. It's sort of important. "This hurts" is just a lifetime of a sexually-unsatisfying relationship, but like a diamond, herpes and parenthood are forever. Little things like "we should be a little bit careful, because I'm still waiting two more months for the six-month wait for my last partner to retake the test and make sure the negative is absolute," or "those birth control pills on the counter belong to my roommate, so we should probably use a contraceptive device despite having our test results," are actually pretty darned important. 'n that's not counting the emotional necessity of actually communicating with another living being, let alone the one closest to one - that's just the health necessity.

So, normally, I try to double-dog-dare someone into actually considering this "open and honest sexual communication" thing.

In this case, however, it was when he got mad at me because he's still too damned pussy to talk to his girlfriend at another point, on something else, 'cause the moment for this one has basically passed that I started suggesting that maybe, instead of there being something it might help his relationship to consider, that maybe instead he's a total and absolute prison bitch in waiting.

Was I too harsh? Yeah, it's possible that I should've just said "oh, gee, this child is displacing his phobias into hostility towards a party outside the relationship. In psychology, this is sometimes referred to as 'kick the dog' syndrome, in addition to its formal names. Perhaps I should just calmly observe the processes of emotional transference from his place of anxiety in an understanding fashion."

Instead, though... I was more in a "this brat is too old for this shit" kind of mood. Was it the right call? Was it the wrong call? I'll never know... well, correction, I do know that this brat is too old for this shit. I make it a standing principle that anything I don't respect in an 6 month old child, I don't respect in anyone older than that, either. It's just whether one method of response or another would have had different effects that I don't know.

Maybe you're right. Maybe you're not. 'n maybe the kid will spread AIDS en masse because he's just as afraid to talk to a doctor he's never met before as he is to the closest person in my life. Only $deity and the winds of fate know.

Maybe I'll try the silent psychoanalytic type next time. More to see WTF happens than out of seeing any clear difference between them in this instance, but why not.

'n just as a future tip for reference to the gentle reader - "damn, you're even tighter than usual" isn't usually taken as an insult in most circles... far less so than its "damn, you're even looser than usual" cousin.

...then at least one of you is not mature enough to be having a sex life. Sorry. Just the way it is.

I disagree. In fact, I think it proves that hes more mature... But whatever thats just my opinion.

...then at least one of you is not mature enough to be having a sex life. Sorry.

No... I think you're being narrow in your perception of his predicament (not that I'm trying to be condescending). I for one can understand why he should feel that way.

That said, you and I both only know what's been posted, so the possibility that he's just too immature remains open.

JoePedo:

I did not discuss the issue with my girlfriend at the time because I thought that our issue was a predictable consequence of something I did, or something beyond either of our control, and it would be pointless to bring it up if there was no solution or the solution was entirely in my hands (IE not make her cum before sex).

Assuming that I can't talk with my girlfriend about sex or the issues relating to it based on what I've said is a pretty big leap of faith. Drawing attention to something that is not under her control (Or worse, a result of something I did) would be like me telling her "Hey, if you had bigger boobs I'd probably think you're more attractive and enjoy sexing you more", so I decided to find out more before talking with her about it.

Ahh. Temporary stability again. Sorry. Not your fault...



Well, I'll adress that in the next bit here.



I'm aware of that. This is why I tend to try to gently goad them into actually communicating with their partner. It's sort of important. "This hurts" is just a lifetime of a sexually-unsatisfying relationship, but like a diamond, herpes and parenthood are forever. Little things like "we should be a little bit careful, because I'm still waiting two more months for the six-month wait for my last partner to retake the test and make sure the negative is absolute," or "those birth control pills on the counter belong to my roommate, so we should probably use a contraceptive device despite having our test results," are actually pretty darned important. 'n that's not counting the emotional necessity of actually communicating with another living being, let alone the one closest to one - that's just the health necessity.

So, normally, I try to double-dog-dare someone into actually considering this "open and honest sexual communication" thing.

In this case, however, it was when he got mad at me because he's still too damned pussy to talk to his girlfriend at another point, on something else, 'cause the moment for this one has basically passed that I started suggesting that maybe, instead of there being something it might help his relationship to consider, that maybe instead he's a total and absolute prison bitch in waiting.

Was I too harsh? Yeah, it's possible that I should've just said "oh, gee, this child is displacing his phobias into hostility towards a party outside the relationship. In psychology, this is sometimes referred to as 'kick the dog' syndrome, in addition to its formal names. Perhaps I should just calmly observe the processes of emotional transference from his place of anxiety in an understanding fashion."

Instead, though... I was more in a "this brat is too old for this shit" kind of mood. Was it the right call? Was it the wrong call? I'll never know... well, correction, I do know that this brat is too old for this shit. I make it a standing principle that anything I don't respect in an 6 month old child, I don't respect in anyone older than that, either. It's just whether one method of response or another would have had different effects that I don't know.

Maybe you're right. Maybe you're not. 'n maybe the kid will spread AIDS en masse because he's just as afraid to talk to a doctor he's never met before as he is to the closest person in my life. Only $deity and the winds of fate know.

Maybe I'll try the silent psychoanalytic type next time. More to see WTF happens than out of seeing any clear difference between them in this instance, but why not.

'n just as a future tip for reference to the gentle reader - "damn, you're even tighter than usual" isn't usually taken as an insult in most circles... far less so than its "damn, you're even looser than usual" cousin.


JoePedo, you're just going to have to accept that not everyone's an insensitive douchebag like you.

So there was a hidden ring of tight vagina muscles in your girlfriends pussy that hugged your dick? Sounds awesome.

JoePedo, you're just going to have to accept that not everyone's an insensitive douchebag like you.

Actually, an insensitive douchebag need not accept a damned thing about anyone else. It's actually one of the main benefits - and sort of the definition, if you think about it for a second.

I did not discuss the issue with my girlfriend at the time because I thought that our issue was a predictable consequence of something I did, or something beyond either of our control, and it would be pointless to bring it up if there was no solution or the solution was entirely in my hands

As a complete tangent - have you ever read any of the "gender differences in communication styles" tripe that people put out every few years? It's kind of funny - the usual premise is that males view communication, if not as social dominance, than as an unpleasant utilitarian tool for solution finding, whereas females use it as a tool of building connection and communication...

I just sorta found it interesting. ;)

Drawing attention to something that is not under her control... would be like me telling her "Hey, if you had bigger boobs I'd probably think you're more attractive and enjoy sexing you more", so I decided to find out more before talking with her about it.

Well... only if you view it as something negative about her. Do you?

If so, I'd wonder why, but it certainly makes your silence a bit more kindly until you deal with the unresolved issues. I'd viewed it more in the frame of, well, partners wondering about each other's genitalia and the odd things they do, which is fairly reasonable for, well, people playing with each other's genitalia...

Best of luck...

Never heard of such a problem but I understand you wanting to understand the problem before talking to your gf about it.

I'm happy to see that intelligent debate still exists on totse.

Actually, an insensitive douchebag need not accept a damned thing about anyone else. It's actually one of the main benefits - and sort of the definition, if you think about it for a second.

Haha, you make me laugh. I hope irony is a bitch to you, and you get herpes because some girl you fucked didn't communicate to you that she had it. That would be hilarious. :D

Haha, you make me laugh. I hope irony is a bitch to you, and you get herpes because some girl you fucked didn't communicate to you that she had it. That would be hilarious. :D

Y'know, if that happened... I'd probably encourage her to become more comfortable in open, honest communication with her partner - just like I've been doing here.

...but I wouldn't blame her. "Herpes" is a pretty big word for a two year old.

Y'know, if that happened... I'd probably encourage her to become more comfortable in open, honest communication with her partner - just like I've been doing here.

...but I wouldn't blame her. "Herpes" is a pretty big word for a two year old.

You haven't been encouraging. You've been insulting the OP by calling him immature because he chooses not to be douchebag like you.

Don't drag your fantasies about two year olds into this. I'll have nothing to do with your pedophilic filth. Anymore idiotic bullshit you want to spew out?

You haven't been encouraging. You've been insulting the OP by calling him immature

Not really.

Sure, I brought that question into it for a second when he responded to "have you ever considered that maybe you should be able to talk to her" with a little transference, but that's about it.

Then again, I suppose that while the insensitive douchebag need not accept other people, the delusional need not accept the actual facts. So... have fun.

because he chooses not to be douchebag like you.

I find it slightly hilarious that "openness, honesty, and respectful communication" is your definition of "douchebag," but I also don't give a fuck.

I'll have nothing to do with your pedophilic filth.

Then you'll have to stop trolling me, won't you?

Anymore idiotic bullshit you want to spew out?

Sure - the hatred which consumes you, consumes only you, and you have only the power to cheapen yourself, and not another.

Have a nice day, and live well.

Not really.

Sure, I brought that question into it for a second when he responded to "have you ever considered that maybe you should be able to talk to her" with a little transference, but that's about it.

Then again, I suppose that while the insensitive douchebag need not accept other people, the delusional need not accept the actual facts. So... have fun.

You brought his maturity into question in your very first post. Maybe you should try accepting the facts.



I find it slightly hilarious that "openness, honesty, and respectful communication" is your definition of "douchebag," but I also don't give a fuck.

Haha, your communication is anything but respectful. You know what? You're not an insensitive douchebag. You're a delusional one.


Sure - the hatred which consumes you, consumes only you, and you have only the power to cheapen yourself, and not another.

Have a nice day, and live well.

Who said anything about hatred? Maybe you need to lay off the drugs for a bit.

You brought his maturity into question in your very first post. Maybe you should try accepting the facts.

Nope. Second. First post I questioned the maturity of not talking to your sexual partner.

Read moar? It gud 4 u dood. It help gud.

Haha, your communication is anything but respectful. You know what? You're not an insensitive douchebag. You're a delusional one.

Why not "delusional, insensitive?" We could like, play bingo.

Who said anything about hatred? Maybe you need to lay off the drugs for a bit.

~shrug~ You chose to walk up and degrade yourself in front of me. Not really my problem, not my business to care or know why, really.