I realize that I am a totally different poster when I reply to other people's threads as to when I post my own in S&A. I tell other people when it isn't worth there time, tell them things they should do, "fuck him, who needs him. There's a million other fish in the sea" type of deal, but I realize its so different when you are in the situation yourself.

I constantly worry about what others think about me, especially those I like. One part of me is telling me "don't apologize, he should be apologizing" but yet the other part of me is like "just tell him you forgive him." Why is it so hard for him to apologize? I saw him writing a note today during work because he was asking someone to help him with it, but he never gave it to me. Why is it so hard for a man to just apologize? Why is it so hard for me to walk away from the situation and say "fuck it, he's the one that's missing out?"

What the fuck are you talking about? English motherfucker!

People that can't apologise are fucked in the head.

i'm gonna take your place: he's no good for you/doesn't love/respect you enough for you to give a shit. it's not about his loss (missing out) it's about yours.. wasting your time with this could be your loss. he may not be worth forgiving.. bla bla liable to make the same mistakes over and over again because he doesnt care enough.

..or yeah the whole issues mental problem thing.. do you want somebody who cant do something as simple as to be accountable. real immature dude.

maybe you don't sleep with him enough. maybe you should ask yourself why you don't sleep with him as much as you used to. was it because he tried to stick it in your pooper?

It's not easy for a guy to admit he's been wrong. It's something that's programmed into our brains, the fact that we should always be right, and if we are caught being wrong, deny deny DENY to the death. It probably has something to do with our machoness, and the yearning to be right all the time.

First option- he's a dickhead and an idiot.

Second option- he's actually a rational and intelligent guy, and you just don't deserve an apology.

Dwell over that for a while and then decide what you think.

You really shouldn't pick at someone hoping to get an apology. Even if you do make them feel bad/make them really want for you to shut up, all you'll get is a fake, null, meaningless apology, not to mention a slowly festering feeling of contempt.

If he is sorry and genuinely feels bad, he'll apologize. It's as simple as that.

Ok, then why didn't he give me the note? English is his second language, so it isn't like it was something to easily throw away. He spent like two hours that I saw on that note, asking his friend how to say things right and shit. Why would you not give that to me? And does he think I will criticize it that much as to "oh that words wrong. Oh and you didn't phrase that right." Come on, I am a nice, but sensitive, person. All I need is "I'm sorry I stood you up" with a few other flowery sentences.

Stop being such a self-righteous, self-pitying bitch.

Ok, then why didn't he give me the note? English is his second language, so it isn't like it was something to easily throw away. He spent like two hours that I saw on that note, asking his friend how to say things right and shit. Why would you not give that to me? And does he think I will criticize it that much as to "oh that words wrong. Oh and you didn't phrase that right." Come on, I am a nice, but sensitive, person. All I need is "I'm sorry I stood you up" with a few other flowery sentences.

I don't know if this is relevant at all, but sometimes when I am really livid at my boyfriend, or am feeling really upset with him, I write him a long, detailed, no-holds-barred note in which I pour out all my feelings. I list everything I hate about him, everything he does that makes me feel shitty, and sometimes even gross mushy lovey stuff that I would never say to his face for fear of creeping him out. Then I destroy it. Sometimes you have so much emotions in your head that you can't even sort through them and figure them out, and writing them down can help you do that. So maybe he was doing something like that? Maybe he wrote you something really hurtful, or something really grossly mushy and lovey-dovey that he was embarassed last minute and didn't want to show you?

Heh apologize, what is the word "apologize" you speak of? Depends what he should be apologizing for....

He stood me up right in front of my face. It was his day off, and he was going to wait for me to get off work and then we were going to go hang out at his house. Instead, he leaves an hour before I get off with some chick that he was drinking with because she got in a fight with one of her friends boyfriends in the restaurant. He never came back.

ever think maybe he isnt sorry? maybe he spent all day writing a note you are obsessed with getting and finally got the shits of trying to figure out how to write a sappy lie so youll shut the fuck up and get over it already.

Or maybe it was a breakup letter because he sounds kind of disinterested.

He stood me up right in front of my face. It was his day off, and he was going to wait for me to get off work and then we were going to go hang out at his house. Instead, he leaves an hour before I get off with some chick that he was drinking with because she got in a fight with one of her friends boyfriends in the restaurant. He never came back.

Well if he didnt tell you who the chick was or didn't phone you then you might as well dump the asshole. Then go and find yourself a nice man. If he stood you up like that why the fuck are you even thinking about it anymore. fuck If he would do something like that to you then he doesn't deserve you. Simple as that. The reason its hard for you to walk away from the relationship is because you are in love with the 'idea' of this relationship. Because the way it looks doesn't seem like a nice relationship to me.

Why don't you talk to him about it?

btw...

Men often apologize indirectly...being...well...men.

Maybe you got a false notion about this guy..you sure he even knows he did wrong..or that he was suppose to hang out with you? I've had that happen before when i said maybe they thought i said YEA FOR SURE, then they got pissed when i never showed up...gotta record shit now a days because people dont listen.

yeah, I am done. He is acting like such a little boy about it - he asks or coworkers little boy to like ask me questions. "Is she mad at me?" "why is she mad?" He can't even talk to me, look at me, or be around me. I found out that that note was for some other chick, an "apology letter" for "breaking the law and acting like a dick." He seems so sketch to me now.

Oh, and you are right. I was in love with that fact that he wouldn't be another part of the low class stereotype. I'm not going to jump from guy to guy. That's a waste of time. And I am not going to be treated like shit. I have been moping around for the past three days over this, I need to stop. It's not my loss.