Originally Posted by Zay

Lately my girl has been acting up on me. I blame the media for this, making her think she's an independent personality and that her opinions matter or something. I talk to some friend's of mine and they've all been having the same problem.
So we brainstormed an obedience program to get these women on the right track. Here's are the steps you need to follow.

A day with your girl:

Let's start in the morning. Make sure she gets up at least half an hour before you do and has breakfast prepared. If you wake up before she does, you have a few options: pour hot coffee on her back, drench her face with maple syrup, you get the idea. Something food related to help her make the connection. If you're a normal guy, you probably spent a few hours pounding that and are exhausted from last night, therefore it's vital that you train your woman to prepare food for you in the morning.
As you two sit for breakfast, make sure you start eating your food before she does. If she reaches for her food look her in the eyes, growl aggressively, and wag your finger. IF she takes a bite, put your right hand on your left shoulder, position your elbow about a foot and a half away from her nose, and unleash your forearm in a spring-like action with your hand fully open in order to execute a proper back-hand pimpslap. Bonus points if food flies out of her mouth.
Shower time. Give her 30 minutes exactly to be showered and out of the bathroom. If she exceeds the time limit, walk in and pull her out by the hair. The preferred way to do this is grab a chunk of hair halfway and twist your wrist followed by curling your arm. This ensures you get the maximum possible mass of hair.
When you two are out walking, make sure you walk at least 12 inches ahead of her, even if you are holding hands. You are the leader and cannot led her think otherwise. If she tries to walk ahead of you, kick her in the shins. If she stops to look at something you don't want to look at, pull her by the ear.
Before joining company, show her this educational video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=7dlVaR2Ta6U If she says something out of line, you may exit politely and then proceed to beat her in your own preferred style.
Back at home, she must put out whenever you demand it. She must also suck your dick on command. When she complies, have a sugary treat like cake or chocolate to give her as a reward. If she refuses just force her. It's not rape if she's your girl, after all. By law she has to put out. Oh, and dont forget not to let her eat for the rest of the day.What techniques do you follow to keep your girl in line?

Originally Posted by Codems

for about 3 years i fuck her on a daily basis, then make her get an abortion, then put all the little fetuses in jars and put them all in a room, and when she doesnt do what i say, i lock her in there and scream HE GIVITH AND HE TAKEITH AWAY to remind her just how useless she is

Originally Posted by Optionryder420

Horrible attempt at trying to be funny.

Seems too cliche, we've all heard about how women are supposed to do dishes, cook, clean, etc.

Really, not very amusing.

-1

Originally Posted by Zay

Lately my girl has been acting up on me. I blame the media for this, making her think she's an independent personality and that her opinions matter or something. I talk to some friend's of mine and they've all been having the same problem.
So we brainstormed an obedience program to get these women on the right track. Here's are the steps you need to follow.

A day with your girl:

Let's start in the morning. Make sure she gets up at least half an hour before you do and has breakfast prepared. If you wake up before she does, you have a few options: pour hot coffee on her back, drench her face with maple syrup, you get the idea. Something food related to help her make the connection. If you're a normal guy, you probably spent a few hours pounding that and are exhausted from last night, therefore it's vital that you train your woman to prepare food for you in the morning.
As you two sit for breakfast, make sure you start eating your food before she does. If she reaches for her food look her in the eyes, growl aggressively, and wag your finger. IF she takes a bite, put your right hand on your left shoulder, position your elbow about a foot and a half away from her nose, and unleash your forearm in a spring-like action with your hand fully open in order to execute a proper back-hand pimpslap. Bonus points if food flies out of her mouth.
Shower time. Give her 30 minutes exactly to be showered and out of the bathroom. If she exceeds the time limit, walk in and pull her out by the hair. The preferred way to do this is grab a chunk of hair halfway and twist your wrist followed by curling your arm. This ensures you get the maximum possible mass of hair.
When you two are out walking, make sure you walk at least 12 inches ahead of her, even if you are holding hands. You are the leader and cannot led her think otherwise. If she tries to walk ahead of you, kick her in the shins. If she stops to look at something you don't want to look at, pull her by the ear.
Before joining company, show her this educational video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=7dlVaR2Ta6U If she says something out of line, you may exit politely and then proceed to beat her in your own preferred style.
Back at home, she must put out whenever you demand it. She must also suck your dick on command. When she complies, have a sugary treat like cake or chocolate to give her as a reward. If she refuses just force her. It's not rape if she's your girl, after all. By law she has to put out. Oh, and dont forget not to let her eat for the rest of the day.What techniques do you follow to keep your girl in line?

Originally Posted by Garrett

I laughed. Who cares if it's not 100% new material, neither is most of the shit I laugh at. It's like, everyone has seen an old lady get mugged before, but when it happens in front of you you still have to laugh at it.

Originally Posted by Garrett

I laughed. Who cares if it's not 100% new material, neither is most of the shit I laugh at. It's like, everyone has seen an old lady get mugged before, but when it happens in front of you you still have to laugh at it.