It seems like that's what it comes down to when you're talking about attracting a person. If a person needs you, then they'll seek you out. In terms of guys and girls, usually the guy needs the girl, and thus the guy has minimal power.

So, how do you flip it?

And more generally, how do you flip it in other social situations, such that everyone needs/wants you, as opposed to vice versa. This is anything from job interviews to your circle of friends.

Thoughts?

You have to give them something they cannot get/want elsewhere, comfort, love, sex, etc...

Supply free candy.

dasdwdSd

Crack.

Oh yeah, I forgot... candy only works for 12&under.

There are lots of attraction theories, I think to say that 'need' is all it's about is a little reductionist.

You say the guy usually needs the girl, thus has minimal power. I'd disagree, I say that, emotionally at least, the girl is usually more in need of the guy.

I suppose for someone to 'need' you, you have to be able to give them more than what others can, or the same thing, but more readily, effectively or consistently - so that'll they favour you. They also need to be well aware that you are the source of this, whatever it may be.

It's a very economic approach.

Do you have a specific situation in mind?

Also, about role-reversal between the needed and the in-need. I'd say that to be in-need is an unattractive quality - it suggests lack of self-sufficiency. I think in most situations, you have to be out of need before you can be needed. That'd be the first step.

I'm not in-need (not emotionally, and not visibly), but as of now, I don't think she is either. Let's just say: She's a hot, outgoing chick, and as of now, I haven't demonstrated enough so that I'm filling some void in her life.

how do you flip it in other social situations, such that everyone needs/wants you, as opposed to vice versa. This is anything from job interviews to your circle of friends.


I have a rule I follow like religion on this one. Always be willing to walk away. The other party (at least when it comes to career) will sense this. Knowing that at any moment you are entirely ready, able, and willing to leave the situation gives you the upper hand. I always have a B plan. Therefore walking away is easy, and I make sure everyone knows it.

It's not a science, howevermuch some people would like to make it into one. Just let it happen. You don't need to worry about who has the upper hand.

It's life, live it. Live it for yourself and let her have a part in it. If you want to be a bigger part of her life, then talk to her about it. Invite her out places, find some fun and indulge.

You can't, or shouldn't, make anybody do anything. If she wants to be a part of your life, then she will be; simply give her the opportunity.

You have to prove or convince them, just be the person people desire to be around, that is However your own abilities allow you to do so. Like if your funny/a comedian people would like to have you around to make them laugh. If your a black belt/karate expert theyd like to have you around for protection...etc just have to demonstrate to them.

But since your talking girl wise, you just have to be different than the rest of the guys. Have to make yourself stand out in some way. Typically being a asshole/dick to them can sort of prove to be a universal trick(especially if the girl is use to being treated like a queen) but not the best means.

Usually every person serves a "purpose" in some way. Don't make it a special task though to figure it out, meaning dont go out acting like someone/something your not as that shit wont last more than 5 minutes with someone....especially some chick.

Do you approach everything in life powerlessly, just waiting to see what others will give you? That's pretty pathetic.

Do you approach everything in life powerlessly, just waiting to see what others will give you? That's pretty pathetic.

Aspiration and striving doesn't actually have the best track-record for the attainment of happiness. I'd rather be a person who is satisfied with what I have, than a person driven to constantly change things so I will be more satisfied.

I think all he is saying is that things happen naturally. Effort expended towards something can easily have many undesired/unforeseen consequences. In general I think the whole "non-doing" thing makes more philosophical sense than a life of striving. The present moment, and what really is, is all we ever have. I'd rather just be satisfied with all that I have, rather than always seeking more, and missing the splendor of what I do presently have. Kind of like the Buddhist notion of ridding the self of desires and aversion. Ambition has it's place in a person's life, but desiring to control outside circumstances isn't always the best route for gaining satisfaction with life.

Do you approach everything in life powerlessly, just waiting to see what others will give you? That's pretty pathetic.

Do you feel like you control what other people do and how they will react? That's deluded.

Tailoring yourself to force an outcome is degrading to everyone involved. If she doesn't want you involved in her life, then why force it? There are plenty of other people out there that will want you in their life.

If you think that you have to force others to like you, then you should probably re-evaluate things.

Do you feel like you control what other people do and how they will react? That's deluded.

Tailoring yourself to force an outcome is degrading to everyone involved. If she doesn't want you involved in her life, then why force it? There are plenty of other people out there that will want you in their life.

If you think that you have to force others to like you, then you should probably re-evaluate things.

Seduction is not the same as "forcing". Your only real options are to actively attempt to seduce someone (be it sexual, or any other social interaction), or to be a passive little bitch and take whatever you can get. Technically, you can come across something good by taking whatever you can get, but that's not being proactive.

Being opposed to seducing someone is like being opposed to dressing up nice or getting a good haircut. It's all just stuff meant to make yourself more attractive.

I won't try and convince you, but there are options that you've never considered.

Good luck.

I won't try and convince you, but there are options that you've never considered.

I would be honored to hear your ideas on what these options are. DerDrache gave a valid response in regards to attraction, so I would like to hear your response. So please, let's hear it.

If I wasn't so busy and just taking a moment out to post with my phone, I would give you that satisfaction. I just don't have the time or interest in offering others perspective, at the moment.

But, as I said, good luck.

Double Accounts!

Oh shi-

Protip: Don't manipulate people. It just makes them dislike you more.